Chapter 19 - Guilt, Hate, and Other Casualties

Lloyd sat on the only couch inside Kai's home, playing with the green belt wrapped around his waist. Nya was in the back, working on some sort of weapon, making really loud noises. Clang! Clang! It made Lloyd's nerves twitch each time the sound reverberated around him. It felt as if the sound was shouting: The Golden Master is here! The Golden Master is here! Lloyd was sure the sound would attract the attention of the guards. He was sure that they would burst in any second, take him away, back to his old master, where he would be beaten over and over again. One whipping for each of his mistakes.

Clang!

For running away.

Clang!

Failure to fulfill his duties.

Clang!

Attacking a Serpentine.

Clang!

Aiding outlaws.

Clang!

Destroying the Fangpyre kingdom.

"Is everything okay in here?"

Lloyd jumped, his muscles tensing up at the close voice. Spinning around on the couch, he came face to face with Kai's sister. She gave a sad smile, holding her hands behind her back. "I'm really sorry, Lloyd. I didn't mean to scare you." Nya shifted uncomfortably, still seeing the unmistakable spark of fright in Lloyd's eyes. "You've just been really quiet and I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

The Golden Master attempted to hide a scoff as the pounding of his heart slowly and gradually subsided. "Yeah, everything is fine," he said, sounding slightly bitter. "I can't help anyone do anything and every single Serpentine is out trying to catch me." His emerald eyes drifted towards Nya and he sighed, feeling guilty for taking his frustrations out on her. She had not done anything wrong. "Yeah...I'm fine though. Thanks for checking on me."

"Okay good," Nya looked around, hating the awkward tension between her and the young man before her. She didn't know what to do with him. He was so young, so innocent, and yet, he was the most powerful being in the land. Nya wasn't exactly sure if she should treat him like a kid or like a hero.

In the end, Kai's sister settled for kid. After all, the fact that he was full of potential meant he hadn't exactly done anything yet.

"Would you like to come help me? I really don't like leaving you alone here. If anything happened to you, I think my brother would murder me."

Lloyd looked at the girl before him, half wanting to snap at her and say he could take care of himself just fine. There was nothing wrong with leaving him alone, but on the other hand, sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs was only making Lloyd's stomach become queasy. So he nodded, and allowed himself to be led into the back of the house, where Nya had been working moments before.

His eyes were immediately drawn to all of the crafted weaponry laying around in the back room. Sturdy swords and delicate looking rapiers were mixed in with such items as daggers and throwing stars. "Did you make all of these?" he asked in awe, still sweeping the room with his gaze.

Nya gave a slight chuckle. "Of course not," Nya replied, making her way back to the blade she had been finishing. It sat idle on a nearby anvil, a mallet close to it. "Kai made most of them. Our dad showed us how to craft when we were growing up. Kai continued to show me how to work some of the metal after Dad was gone..." Her voice trailed off and she cleared her throat as she took the blade off of the anvil and placed it over a bed of hot coals. "So then, Lloyd, what were you doing before you found out that you were the Golden Master?"

Lloyd shrugged, not wanting to answer. Kai's sister already thought he wasn't worthy of being the Golden Master. If he told her that he'd been nothing more than a slave, she would be even more disappointed. She wouldn't say anything, of course, but it would show in her eyes. Lloyd knew that look well. It had been in Kai's face. Jay's. Cole's. Even Zane's. It had been there, in the eyes of the ghostly emperor, each time Lloyd had backed away from escaping. Lloyd could even imagine his true parents looking at him with the same look, right before deciding to throw him away into slavery.

Lloyd hated that look.

"Well?" Nya insisted, following the young man with her eyes.

The Golden Master sighed, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. "I was a slave, okay?"

She immediately averted her gaze back down to the blade, watching the metal turn red from the heat. She lifted it up and placed it down on the anvil before taking the mallet and whacking away at it again. How was she supposed to respond to that? He had been a slave? Slaves were feeble and cowardly, more so than the rest of the human populous. "Oh..." she said in between the loud, reverberating sounds of metal against metal. "Well, at least you're free now."

Yeah, sure, Lloyd thought to himself, turning away from Kai's sister and leaning back against a work table. Despite not being subjected to carrying out his master's every order, Lloyd knew he was far from free. Chains still clung to him, weighing him down. The chains of destiny. The chains of responsibility. He might not ever experience true freedom for the rest of his life.

Clang!

Who was Nya to judge anyway? Sure, she may be able to make some swords, but had she actually ever fought with them?

Clang!

If she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, how would she feel? She'd probably feel just as lost and confused as he was.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Lloyd lifted his head, tearing his eyes away from the ground. That had not been the sound of Nya hammering away. It was something entirely different. "Hey, did you hear that?" the Golden Master inquired, raising his voice to be heard over the loud sound in the room. "Nya, did you hear that?"

The girl halted her work as she heard Lloyd speaking up. She had the mallet gripped tightly in her right hand and she inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" As Nya watched the boy open his mouth to answer, there was a repeated pounding coming from the other room. The sound was aggressive and she felt her heart skip a beat. "It's probably the guys," she shrugged, placing her tool down on the table and wiping her hands on a nearby greasy cloth. "They finished up sooner than I thought they would."

Lloyd nodded, wanting to believe Nya's words, but a sickening feeling in his guts knew something wasn't right. The guys wouldn't pound on the door so violently. They would let themselves in through the back door, just like they'd done the night before. They were all outlaws. They wouldn't want to cause so much noise.

However, Lloyd didn't say anything. He just watched Nya as she walked towards the door.

She swung it open. Lloyd walked forward slowly, his curiosity pulling him closer and closer...

"Hello, my dear girl." That voice. That very, very familiar voice. Lloyd's body began to shake. He was here. He was here. He couldn't be here. Shouldn't. Yet, he was, and Lloyd could see him. He could see the purple scales blocking out the sunlight as the serpent tried to sneak past the open door. He could see the sharp white fangs that stuck out the Serpentine's mouth. And he could see the cold, cold eyes.

Worst of all, the cold eyes could see him too.

"Ah, I thought you said you didn't know where my little friend was," Pythor smiled, grabbing Nya's arm and twisting it behind her back. "And yet, he's standing right there. I don't appreciate being lied to."

Nya looked at Lloyd with panic and disappointment. Why are you such an idiot? her gaze seemed to say. Why didn't you hide?

"I think I'll have to kill you know. You'll make a good example for this village. Maybe they will all get these crazy ideas of rebellion out of their heads." Pythor slithered into the house, getting closer and closer to Lloyd. "Or I could let her live, but you'd have to turn yourself in, little boy."

Lloyd shook his head, stepping back.

"You're going to let your friend die? You're a great hero." The Emperor laughed. "Why don't you show me what you're made of? A little fight, just between you and me. None of my guards will interfere."

Once again, Lloyd shook his head. He couldn't fight. He was a slave. He was a nobody. He couldn't fight.

"You're a coward aren't you?"

Instead of answering, Lloyd ran.

He barreled out of the back door, hearing it slam forcefully in his wake. The streets of the village were unfamiliar to him, but he did not give any of that another thought. All that was driving him now was pure adrenaline. It erased all of his rationality.

Lloyd took a left turn and then a right one, rushing past people he did not know and seeing the confused looks on their faces. Reluctantly, the boy looked over his shoulder as he ran, seeing some of the local guards pursuing him. He pushed himself harder, willed himself to go faster. The only hope of escaping now was to outrun them, but he still had no idea where he was going.

Twists and turns lay before the Golden Master and he zig zagged his way down several streets, hoping to confuse the persistent serpents. Minutes dragged by as Lloyd felt his breathing growing more and more ragged. There was a faint tree line ahead, wavering on the horizon. If he could make it there, then he could hide in the vegetation. With his feet pounding hard against the compacted dirt, Lloyd flew down the street he was on and burst through the magnificent tree line.

Without taking time out to really think about what he should do, Lloyd grabbed on to a low lying branch, feeling his arms pull painfully from the momentum of running. Mustering up his newly found strength, he climbed as quickly and as far up as he could, finally resting on a thick branch obscured by dark leaves. Holding a single hand over his mouth to try and stifle his loud breathing, Lloyd listened and watched.

It took a few seconds, but eventually the Serpentine ran out of the town, searching intently for Lloyd. They traveled deeper into the forest, without knowing that their target had been sitting right above their heads. As the footsteps faded away, Lloyd allowed himself to relax.

"I'm safe," he whispered to himself, comforted by the sound of his own voice. "I'm safe."

"Yes, you are indeed safe." The voice of the emperor came from Lloyd's side, startling the Golden Master, almost causing him to lose his balance. "But you left Nya in danger. Your actions may have killed an innocent today."

Lloyd looked at the emperor. He hadn't seen the strange ghost in a while. Lloyd had almost started to think that he missed the man, but now that he was back, all that Lloyd wanted was for him to go away. He didn't need a conscience trying to push guilt onto him. "I'm important though. I have to save the world someday. I couldn't let myself be caught. He would have hurt me."

"Someday?" The emperor raised an eyebrow. "Your duty to save the world began today. You're humanity's protector Lloyd. And yet, you left that girl behind. You failed."

Lloyd could see that saying those words pained the emperor. The look of disappointment was there again, but this time Lloyd wasn't angered by it. He felt ashamed. "I didn't know. I was scared. There was nothing I could do..."

"If you allow your fear to take control of you, you will never be anything Lloyd," the emperor said. "If you don't step up to defend those who need it most, you will never be ready. You will be just as you were before, waiting for 'someday', wasting away as the world rushes past you."

Deep down in the depths of his heart, Lloyd knew the ghost was right. Nya had needed help and he had turned a blind eye, just like everyone else always did. He felt his hands clench tight into fists. There was nothing left for him to do except go back. If he could save someone who needed it, then he could finally prove to himself that he was capable of being the hero that everyone was expecting him to be. "I guess 'someday' starts today then," he replied giving the emperor a melancholy smile.

Slipping down through the branches of the tree, Lloyd finally landed on the grassy ground with a small thud, glancing around nervously to see if anyone had noticed him. Thankfully, it seemed like no one had. Trying to take streets he had not remembered venturing down, the Golden Master stayed to the shadows as much as he possibly could in the middle of the day, moving slowly through the village. Was going back for Nya really the smartest idea? Pythor already had her and he would be expecting a return by the hero. If he went back to Kai's house, would he be falling into a trap?

"Oh no," he sighed, peeking around the corner of a building before moving towards another abandoned looking street. "It's a trap...and the guys don't know..." Lloyd had to get a move on now. Everyone could be in danger just because he had been curious and spineless. If Pythor caught the others before they really had time to teach him anything, then he would be useless.

Something rushed past Lloyd's head and he flinched, pushing his back up against a wall and sweeping his surroundings for Serpentine. Instead of reptiles, he found a bird. It chirped excitedly, tilting its head back and flapping its wings. "Uh...hi there," Lloyd whispered, feeling a bit stupid for trying to talk with a bird. "Can I help you?"

The bird nodded its head. Lloyd stared at the bird, a bit of a headache beginning to pound against his forehead. Was he hallucinating? Or was this bird trying to get his attention?

"Go away," he hissed. "You're going to attract guards. You're a stupid bird. What could you want with me?"

The bird chirped louder, flapping its wings more violently now.

"Okay, okay! What do you want?" Lloyd covered his mouth, afraid his words had been too loud. The bird stared at Lloyd for a few more seconds, then took off into the sky. Feeling silly and stupid, Lloyd followed.

Great. I'm taking advice from a bird now. My sanity is going downhill fast.

After following the bird for a couple of minutes, it finally stopped, landing on the roof of a small house. Lloyd couldn't help but notice that the house was very, very close to Kai's. Could this be a trap? He could see Serpentine guards standing around Kai's house, while others searched the inside. Lloyd began to step back slowly, expecting the Serpentine to spot him any second.

Suddenly, a rough hand pulled him to the side, slamming him hard against one of the walls of the house. Lloyd's breath escaped him, and he coughed slightly, trying to recover his focus. Once the fuzzy black dots around his vision had faded, he looked up at his attacker.

It was Kai.

"What happened?" the blacksmith growled, keeping his grip on the boy. Nothing but the bustling of the Serpentine moving around answered him. Seeing Lloyd avert his gaze only angered Kai more and he pushed Lloyd harder against the wall. Feeling the Golden Master squirm to escape, he released his hold and watched Lloyd collapse to the ground, inhaling deeply. "Where's Nya?"

"He's okay," came another voice. Lloyd watched with blurry vision as Cole separated himself from the shadows of the building, followed by Zane who had an unconscious Jay slung over his shoulder and another staff in his possession. Before Lloyd could ask any questions of his own, the merchant was pulling him to his feet and gesturing for them all to obscure themselves for sight.

Kai shook his head and grabbed Lloyd's left arm. "We're not going anywhere until he tells me where Nya is."

"If Lloyd was able to get away from the Serpentine, I'm sure your sister could handle herself against them," Cole replied, giving his friend a hard stare in return. "The kid is shaken up. Let's just give him some time to collect himself first. Then he can tell us what happened."

As the Golden Master was, indeed, beginning to get a better hold on himself, an all too familiar voice sounded amongst the cacophony of other noises. He felt his heart freeze. "People of Ignacia Village," Pythor projected, venturing out of Kai's home with Nya in tow. "I present to you, a traitor." Lloyd reluctantly poked his head around the corner of the building, trying his best to avoid the blacksmith in the process. He could see Nya trying her best to break free from the Emperor's grip.

"This girl has been aiding fugitives that are bent on sending the entirety of our country into chaos." A hush fell upon people who were gathering to watch. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors of these individuals and, of course, the Golden Master." Pythor swept his hungry eyes across the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy who had escaped. The one who could ruin him. "In light of this news, I am here to tell you that your destined savior is a spineless coward. He left this poor girl to take the fall for him, take his punishment." Murmurs erupted from the townsfolk and Pythor just smirked. "Your hero will not save you. He is selfish and fearful, but if he wishes to make amends for his misdeeds, then I will be willing to make the trade I offered him earlier: his surrender for the girl's safety."

Lloyd was going to be sick. He held his stomach tightly, trying to regain his breath, trying to remain silent. Cole pulled him back into the shadows, holding his shoulders with a firm grip. "Just breathe Lloyd. It's alright. You weren't ready."

"You left my sister," Kai whispered, trying his best not to throw Lloyd into the open and exchange him for Nya himself. "You... you idiot."

Cole smacked Kai on the back of his head. "Shut up, Kai. He's a kid. We can get your sister back later."

"But he...Pythor's right. We're never going to defeat him. Not with that coward on board."

The words stung Lloyd's heart, aiming to make permanent damage. Cole tried to soothe him, tried to make him believe he had made the right choice in saving himself, but Lloyd could see the disappointment in his eyes. He had failed and he knew it. Maybe Ninjago was doomed to stay under the Serpentine's power. Maybe destiny had made a mistake in choosing him. And now he would fail all of the people that had put their hopes on him. He could feel it. The disappointment. Everywhere. Suffocating him. Drowning him.

Breaking him.