You guys genuinely might get three chapters in one day. Remember Me for Centuries is very nearly done. I was feeling very efficient today :). This story is pretty nearing its end as well, guys. So prepare yourselves.

I don't plan on ever writing four stories at once again, but very soon I will be back to one. So if you have an idea PM me :).

FINALLY, yes I just deleted some of my older stories. My writing as improved, and I just honestly don't want them out there representing me anymore! Sorry if I deleted one that you like :(.

Chapter 17

SPOV

Everything was black. Everything was always black, she thought with amusement, but perhaps it was blacker than it always had been. She wasn't confused. When other people woke up in the hospital they were always confused, but she knew exactly what was happening. She was waking up, and that thought scared the hell out of her. She didn't welcome death. The exact opposite, really. For the first time in her life she was consistently happy to be alive. But she was so scared, because what if it didn't work? What if she was blind forever?

The incoherent murmuring of voices was all that she could hear. She couldn't tell who was who, but she didn't have to think too hard to figure out who was in the room with her. Toby wouldn't be anywhere else. And she needed him. She would never tell him that she needed him, but she needed him more now than she ever had. But she didn't want to hold him back.

She gasped and moved her hand. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she fisted a handful of the rough, scratchy hospital sheets.

"Spencer?"

She ignored her mom's questioning voice and brought a hand up to her face, shaky fingers brushing over the bandages that covered her eyes. So maybe it still worked. There was hope. The blackness wasn't because of her blindness, necessarily. It was because of the bandages. Hope burned in her chest, and she hated it. Hope only meant that she had further to fall if it didn't work.

"Spencer are you okay?"

Her heart fluttered at the sound of his voice. Somehow, when it came to Toby, it only took a couple words to make her feel better. She didn't need comfort or bullshit platitudes. She didn't want empty promises. She just wanted him. Toby's hand covered hers and gently squeezed her fingers.

She opened and closed her chapped lips a few times, getting used to things again. She didn't know how long she had been out for, but judging by the way her body felt it had been awhile. She couldn't help but feel a bit guilty over everything she put the people she cared about through. And it may have all been for nothing.

"Yeah," she rasped, quickly realizing that she hadn't answered him yet. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Noises of relief came from all over the room, but no noise could be as impactful as the feeling of Toby's lips against her forehead. "I love you," he whispered to her.

She smiled, tilting her chin up and finding his lips. "I love you too," she murmured.

Hours had passed since she woke up, and one by one her friends and family vacated her room. Everyone left but Toby, whose hand was still wrapped around hers. "I know the doctors are going to come in soon to check your eyes. Are you sure that you don't want your family here for that?"

She shook her head. It had been hard to get them to leave, her mom especially. But she didn't need prying eyes and an audience for what could be the most humiliating and devastating moment of her entire life. "No. I don't want to deal with their pity if it doesn't work. I need to give myself a chance to accept that I'll always be blind before I hear them feeling bad for me."

"Spence," he whispered, the tips of his fingers lightly tracing her jawbone. "There's every chance that it worked."

"I would rather be pessimistic," she muttered. "Dealing with expected disappointment is much, much easier than getting my hopes up and then crashing."

There was a long pause. "You know that I'm not going to leave you, right? It doesn't mattered if you can see or if you're blind. I don't care if you're bald or have purple skin or no teeth. I love you, Spencer. And I'll always be here for you."

She smiled despite everything. "I know," she whispered. "I know, and I love you so much for that. And I hope you know that the same thing goes for you." She paused, wondering if she should bring it up. But in the end she couldn't keep her mouth shut because she had no filter at all. "I know that's something you've been worried about, Toby. And you have to see that you're the only one that I want. Nothing will ever change that."

"I was so scared I was going to lose you," he murmured. "When they told me that you hadn't woken up yet, that they didn't know if you would wake up, I was so scared. What would I do without you?"

For once she was glad that the doctor walked in, because she wasn't sure how to respond to that. He would probably be better off without her. He had spent half of his life leading her around like a child. He protected her when she couldn't take care of herself, and he made sure she was always taken care of. Her love for him would last forever, but that didn't mean she didn't see that he deserved better than the helpless, annoying, blind girl.

"Did he tell you?"

She frozen, turning to face Hanna with trepidation. "Tell me what?"

"That he basically kicked Wren Kingston's ass!" Hanna squealed. "I told him-"

Her worry faded away to anger. "Hanna! Why would you tell him? I would have told him myself if I wanted him to know."

"Because he asked!" Hanna insisted. "He heard a rumor and he wanted me to tell him what really happened, so I did! I don't see why you're so upset. I think it's romantic."

She rolled her eyes below her sunglasses and sank next to Hanna on the bench. Maybe it would have been romantic if he felt about her life that. But he never would because he always found reasons to protect her like she was his sister or something. Toby and her could never happen, because she wouldn't be sure if he really loved her or if he just wanted to protect her.

Some things had changed, but her guilt hadn't. She knew that Toby loved her, but she wished with everything inside her soul that he didn't have to spend half of his life worrying about and protecting her.

"Are you ready, Ms. Hastings?"

No. Not even a little bit. Living in the unknown was so much easier than the crushing disappointment that she would face if it didn't work. "Yes," she whispered.

Toby's lips brushed over her knuckles. "Whatever happens, Spencer. Whatever happens, I'm here. I'll never leave you. We're in this together."

She wished that were enough, but it just wasn't. She didn't want to hold him back anymore. Unfamiliar hands took her face and began to gently unwind the bandages.

"We are optimistic that this worked, Ms. Hastings," the doctor cautioned. "but we won't know until we take the bandages off. If it did work this will be overwhelming, I'm sure. I want you to close your eyes. It will make the light less painful if we do it in stages."

A door slammed open. "Am I too late?" Dr. Green asked breathlessly. "I've been taking care of this one for years. I want to be there when she sees."

Didn't the all realize that they were making it so much worse if the surgery hadn't worked? "Can we just do it?" Spencer asked softly.

"I'm going to take it off in 3, 2, and 1."

On one the bandages lifted off her face and a brightness seeped through the space between her eyelids, something she hadn't experienced since she was practically a baby. She sucked in a shaky breath and immediately felt her hands start to tremble.

One of Toby's hands squeezed hers and the other found its way to her face, the shadows passing over her eyes. She covered her mouth with one of her hands to stifle a sob. She was scared to open her eyes. She was so scared, because what she had was making her want everything else even more. She wanted to be able to see. She wanted to see his face. The shadows weren't enough. She wanted to see everything.

"I know it's hard, Spencer," Dr. Green soothed. "It's so hard, but we need know the results. We can't help you until we know."

She nodded, whimpering embarrassingly. But Toby just tightened his grip on her hand. He didn't speak, but he didn't let her go either. If he was with her she could do anything. She pried her eyes open and immediately shut them again, the colors and the lights way too much for her sensitive eyes.

"Turn the lights off," Toby snapped. "They're hurting her."

She smiled despite everything, because that's who they were. They protected each other fiercely. Hands were back on her face, and she knew that they were Toby's. She would know Toby if she was dead, she was pretty sure. "Open your eyes back up, Spence," he breathed. She could hear the smile in his voice. "You can do this. Just open your eyes."

He was right. She swallowed roughly and blinked them open again. This time she managed to keep them open. For a second she was afraid she had just condemned herself to a life of light and blurred shapes. But with every blink her vision cleared further. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. The tears were in part due to the sensory overload and the air hitting her sensitive eyes.

But more importantly than any of that, more important than anything, she was finally seeing the one thing that she waited her entire life to see. "They really are blue," she breathed, "just like the crayon."

The grin that stretched across his beautiful lips was enough to cause the tears to flow harder. This was really him. This was Toby. Her Toby. She had waited her whole life for this, and it didn't disappoint.