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River had tried to explain to him once what reading minds was like. She'd compared it to trying to listen to several different broadcasts, on numerous vid-screens, at different volumes, all at once. The quietest thoughts were drowned out by the loudest, and the closest ones always seemed a bit louder than the ones playing at the same volume farther away. She'd used a bit of crazy talk and several big words, but he'd gotten the jist of it. When she'd finished talking, he'd called her crazy and told her to go bug Kaylee, all the while filing what she'd said in a mental folder marked 'Useful Things to Know', right next to how many rounds each of his girls held. He still hadn't trusted her at that point and he'd figured that the information would come in handy if he was ever forced to ambush her, he'd just never figured that it'd be for the sake of a game. So he stands, cold wall pressed firmly against his back, doing his best to think quietly.
From where he is positioned he can see a small sliver of the kitchen, just enough to see Inara sitting at the table and frowning into her tea. Carefully, knowing that the companion would never wear that sort of expression if River were in the room with her, Jayne peeks around the corner towards the bridge and he spots her. She is standing with one hand pressed against the wall, the other hand on her knee, bent over and breathing hard. Jayne grins.
His triumphant glee must have been loud enough to overpower Inara's indignation, because River spins on the balls of her bare feet and looks directly at him. With no reason to stay hid or be quiet anymore, Jayne steps out of the stairwell. The two killers stare at each other for a moment; River trying to decide her next move and Jayne tensed, ready to react. Their stalemate is broken when River turns and runs for the cockpit. Jayne is moving towards her before she has even taken two steps, his larger stride bringing him within feet of the young woman as she goes to slam the outer bulkhead on him.
River is using every ounce of her strength, trying to close the large man out, but he is holding her back with the strain of only one arm. She can see him smirking at her evilly through the little window and hear him chuckling through the widening gap between the door and the wall.
"Genius like you shoulda known I'd win in a test a' strength 'tween tha two a' us." Jayne remarks insolently. River knows he is right as she watches the door slowly inch open. She is no match for him in raw power, but she can surpass him in many other arenas.
She quickly lets go of the bulkhead and runs into the cockpit, heading for the well in front of the pilot's console. She can't beat him in muscle mass, but she can use it against him. There are places with in the ship that Jayne could never hope to reach.
He is almost knocked over when his counter weight suddenly disappears on him and the door is thrown wide, but he manages to keep enough of his balance to run after the skinny little girl who is sprinting for the empty area at the helm of the ship. A light bulb clicks on in his head and he speeds up trying to catch her. There is only one place in that direction where she could possibly escape him and he's not going to give her the chance to get at it.
She's almost to the bottom when he reaches the stairs between the stations, and, without thinking, he jumps over the steps and tackles the girl to the ground. The resulting tussle isn't anything special considering what both participants are capable of, but it's fast, furious, and neither Jayne, nor River, are going to come out of it without at lease a few bruises. If they'd been seriously fighting, the injures on both sides would have been much greater.
The struggle finally stops when Jayne manages to pin River beneath him; knees on either side of her hips, feet locked over her calves to keep her legs immobile, and hands holding her forearms on either side of her head. Jayne looks down at her face. They are both smiling hard and panting even harder.
"Who's tha Alpha dog now, huh?" he smirks as she struggles beneath him.
"I am." she responds, eyes flashing with laughing defiance.
"Wrong answer." Jayne moves her arms above her head so he can grab them both at the wrist with one hand before bringing his now free hand down to tickle her ribs. She bucks and wriggles, trying to free herself, but he is too heavy for her to move.
"We both are! We both are!" River manages to gasp out between laughs causing Jayne to stop his torture.
"Explain that ta me." he demands.
Neither of them notice Kaylee, who'd come to the bridge to check on a parts shipment over the cortex, silently retreat, a surprised yet happy smile on her face as the thought 'That's jus' all manner a' shiny.' floats around in her brain.
River is flushed from exertion and excitement. She is panting, trying to catch her breath. "You are Alpha Male. I am Alpha Female." She says when she's breathing almost normally.
"Aw, hell, Crazy. Couldn't ya have just said that at tha beginning? You'd a' saved us both a whole lotta time an' energy."
"Couldn't. Mal wouldn't have liked it. He knows what that means better than you."
"So? What does it mean?"
She's smiling at him in a way that is making him nervous and he's not liking it. Angry, because that's his default emotion when nervous, and growling, he asks her again, "What does it mean?"
"Traditionally, the Alpha Male and Alpha Female are..." her smile grows wider, "mates."
The rusty cogs of his brain are turning now more than they have in a long time, and all he can manage is a, "Huh?" as he tries to work out if she's saying what he thinks she's saying. He doesn't have to think on it long because out of nowhere, she's kissing him. It's a chaste and innocent little kiss just on the corner of his mouth, but he throws himself back from her as if she'd tried to cut him again, simultaneously checking to make sure nobody saw.
"You're it!" she exclaims cheerily as she pulls herself off the floor and runs out of the bridge. He can only watch her retreat with wide, dazed eyes, silently mourning the friendship he didn't realize he'd had, and in no way earned, as it starts to become something else entirely.