A/N Merry Christmas everybody!

I don't own Glee, although spookily some of my predictions about what will happen in future episodes do come to pass...

Chapter Eight

Blaine smiled up at his boyfriend widely as the tall blonde lent against the lockers in front of Blaine's freely, his head only inches away from Blaine's. Gazing into the sky blue eyes of Sam made a faint flush appear on his cheeks. It was undeniable that Sam was handsome and Blaine found it hard to concentrate when Sam was so close to him. At the same time he felt so at ease and relaxed. He was safe. At home. Where he belonged. The small niggling doubts of whether Sam truly loved him always seemed to float around the back of his mind but Blaine always ignored them. Sam wouldn't be with him if he didn't love him. Right? Sam had to love more than his looks. It was deeper than that, he knew it, he had seen it when he had sang to him last. Blaine felt he was just being silly and tried to forget these stupid thoughts running in his mind.

"Hey gorgeous, want to come over later?" Sam whispered, placing a kiss on Blaine's forehead. Sam had been getting more adventurous in his physical affections since Blaine had gotten back from New York and he wasn't sure what to make of it. On the one hand Blaine had dreamt of being with Sam in that way many times, but in those dreams he had always been a boy. Was sex different for a girl? Blaine didn't know but he certainly felt more insecure with the idea of having that kind of relationship with Sam. He was still getting used to being a girl himself and although he felt a lot more comfortable than he used to, he still felt like he had a long way to go. He was facing a dilemma and it seemed as though it was getting bigger by the minute.

"Sure." Blaine smiled up at his boyfriend coyly, blushing at the thoughts that had been running through his head.

"Awesome." Sam leant down to give him a deep, passionate kiss that left Blaine feeling breathless, light and in a happy daze, unable to think of anything but the pounding heart deep inside of him and how the merest touch of Sam's lips against his own made it beat hard in his chest. He sighed in a dream like stupor as he watched his tall, muscular man walk to his first class of that afternoon. Thoughts of strong arms and muscular thighs flew through into his head. So much so that Tina managed to sidle up to him without him even noticing and made him jump with a start at the sound of her voice, Blaine's hand on his heart as he tried to calm his nerves from the surprise sound beside him.

"So, you and Sam are looking very serious these days..." Tina nudged him in the ribs with her elbow playfully and a deep frown came over his face.

"What does that mean?" He inquired, although he knew the answer. How many of his friends were assuming that they were having sex? His mind became a mish mash of confusion as the butterflies in his stomach roiled inside. Panic started ebbing up to his throat and he tried to push it down. He definitely wasn't ready for that. Not yet. The thought did excite him, but it terrified him more. He needed to know for sure that Sam really did love him before he could give himself completely to him.

"You know." Tina playfully shoulder bumped into her friend and Blaine tried not to let anger and frustration creep in. It was one part of glee club he really detested. The gossip. What Sam and he did was nobody else's business. "You know, Brit always told me that Sam was the best guy she had ever been with." Tina wiggled her eyebrows knowingly. "Apparently he's a stallion." She whispered and Blaine felt his eyes widen as his face grew hot.

"What! No! Sam's not, I mean we aren't, I mean we... I... We haven't done that yet." He spluttered out, his thoughts now full of what Sam looked like in all his glory. Blaine had a feeling that Brittany had not been exaggerating. He bit his bottom lip as scenes entered his head of Sam making love to him. A stallion...

The bubble burst as Tina turned to face him, looking mildly concerned. "Are you scared? I mean you haven't been with a guy before right?" That stopped him short. As a girl Blaine hadn't been with anyone. Did that make him a virgin? Again? He remembered being told distant tales of girls first times with boys. None of it sounded all that great. But then it had been people like Santana and Quinn. Probably not the best people to ask... Could Tina be more help? Blaine wasn't quite sure how to venture into that topic, it was an awkward one and he didn't even like to think of Tina as a sexual being. In his mind she was pure as freshly laid snow.

"Er..Um.. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be with Sam in that way yet..." He bumbled out. You idiot Blaine, what are you even saying? Ok so it's true, you're freaking out at the thought of even being with Sam in that way but... at the same time... you know you really want to.

"Well if you aren't sure B you should wait. I waited till I was ready with Mike and it was wonderful." Tina smiled gently at him, putting him at ease as she laid her hand on his arm. The bell suddenly rang out to state that the next class was about to begin and his heart dropped as he realised the conversation was at an end and just when Tina was beginning to be helpful. She turned her head towards the sound of the bell and sighed loudly. "I'll see you later ok? Try not to worry! Turn that frown upside down Blainey days."

He watched her jog round the corner to her class and pondered what she had said. He made a mental note to ask Tina more about her and Mike later, maybe she would be more help than he first thought. After all it was the female perspective and that was something he really needed right about now. "...Sure." He mumbled long after Tina was gone, closing his locker and slowly making his way to class, deep in thought.

Blaine sighed in contentedness as he lay next to Sam on his bed, their tongues massaging one another lustfully as they kissed one another deeply, drinking each other in. A little breathless, but deeply aroused Blaine wound his arms tighter around Sam's neck, drawing him ever closer. Blaine could feel the pressure of Sam's length against his thigh and moaned blissfully at the feeling of Sam's excitement so close to his skin. His skirts had been hitched up slightly as he wound his other leg around Sam's calf. There was literally only Sam's jeans between their skin. He felt Sam's hands wander up his stomach, lifting his top up and sliding underneath, snaking to undo his bra and cupping his breasts in his large, strong hands. Blaine groaned aloud as Sam's thumbs brushed against his nipples, which quickly became erect from the gentle touch and he pulled the blonde boy further against him. When Sam squeezed his right breast, panic erupted into Blaine's heart suddenly, his eyes flinging open as the realisation of what they were doing flooded his mind and he pushed Sam away from him hastily. Pulling his top down to cover his breasts he clenched the fabric tightly over his heart, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry Sam. I... I can't."

Puzzled, Sam sat up looking intensely at Blaine with his baby blues. "Why not? It's not like you're a virgin or anything." He shrugged but looked confused nonetheless.

"Because... because I'm not ready to have sex yet." Blaine whispered out quietly. His mind riddled with so many conflicting thoughts, ones that told him to be with Sam, others not. He didn't know what to do. But Tina had been right, he couldn't do anything till he was sure of what he wanted.

"But why? We really like each other right, so why not?"

"Sam I need to know that you love me. Me, and not what I look like right now, but the me on the inside and I'm scared that you don't..." Tears began to fall down his cheek and Sam sat looking aghast at him. He hadn't even contemplated how he felt about Blaine. Sam was a simple creature Blaine knew, he would have just been ruled by his desires and not his emotions. Until now that was. He watched as the cogs turned in his boyfriends mind and they sat in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like forever. Blaine wiping his flowing tears away. Finally Sam slid across to sit beside Blaine on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around Blaine and sweetly kissing his forehead.

"But I think you're awesome Blaine, isn't that enough?" He murmured into Blaine's dark curls.

"Oh Sammy. I care about you a great deal, I do, but don't you remember that I used to be a boy on the outside? I still feel like a boy inside Sam. Could you seriously love me if I turned back into a guy? Be honest. Please..." Blaine looked up at Sam, pleading with his eyes for Sam to say that he loved him no matter what, but when Sam couldn't look directly back at him Blaine knew that he wasn't going to get the answer he was longing to hear.

"I... I don't know..." His heart felt like it had ripped in two and he clenched the fabric over his chest tighter. Sam didn't truly love him. It was over.

"I should go." He stood, not even looking back, picking his bag up off the floor and shuffling towards Sam's bedroom door, his eyes downcast as he tried in vain to keep the tears from spilling over.

"Blaine wait!" His head whipped around, hope blossoming in his chest. "I do really like you B. Maybe we should wait a while till we...you know. Let me catch up to where you're at in here." Sam pointed to his chest, his eyes red rimmed and looking more unsure of himself than Blaine had ever seen. Those few words lifted Blaine's spirits and mended his heart. He wanted to love Blaine. He wanted to be with him. It was at that moment that Blaine knew once and for all that he loved Sam more than anyone else on this planet. More than his parents. More than his brother. More than Kurt.

"Thank you Sammy." He smiled softly at his boyfriend and went over to kiss him chastely on the lips before making his way down to his car and home.

Sam lay on his bed processing what had just happened. Everything had been so great, they had been kissing and touching each other intimately and it had been wonderful. But where had that all come from on Blaine's part? It was as though a sudden change had come over her and a surprising one at that. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes at Blaine's rejection. It had hurt more than he cared to admit. His heart had squeezed inside his chest and the look on Blaine's face. It had been like a dagger to the heart.

Sam was beginning to realise there was a hell of a lot more to Blaine than meets the eye and if he wanted to keep her he was going to have to find out about all these hidden parts of her. Of him. Sam had begun to forget that Blaine had ever even been a boy, his 'bro' and best friend. The transition had occurred so naturally to him that it had been a shock when Blaine had said that she still felt like a boy. Sam knew that Blaine had had a crush on him when she had been a boy but could her feelings have been deeper? His feelings?

Confusion bloomed in his mind. Was Blaine a boy or a girl? Sam wasn't sure any more. All he knew was that he had deep feelings for Blaine. Feelings he was going to have to sort through. Would he still have these feelings if Blaine were a boy now? Sam didn't know but he had seen the pain and hurt on Blaine's face when he had hesitated over the answer. Blaine was his rock, she kept him grounded and safe. Feeling like he was home. He didn't want to lose that. He wouldn't...

Sylvia Anderson looked in her daughters bedroom to see a prone figure lying on the bed in silence and watched her daughter with concern. Blaine had been so up and down lately, one minute jubilant, another more miserable then she had ever known her daughter to be. She had a feeling it was all to do with Sam. Everything was always about Sam when it came to her little girl. She loved him deeply, had done from the moment that they had first met. She sighed tiredly and made her way over to the bed, perching herself on the edge of it so not to disturb Blaine too much. Her daughter curled her body up, burying her face even deeper into the pillow it was already buried in.

"Hi sweetheart." Sylvia stroked her daughters back gently, hoping to coax her out of the ball she had made with her body. "Are you alright my love?" She asked, worry building inside her mind. Maybe she had had an argument with the boy. It would be unusual but their relationship seemed to have shifted recently and Sylvia wondered if they had had sex, either that or Sam was pressuring Blaine into it.

"I love him mum, I love him so much, but I don't know if he loves me or just likes how I look..." Blaine hiccuped into the pillow and Sylvia's frown vanished as she began to understand her daughters dilemma. Blaine wanted to know that it wasn't just a physical thing on Sam's part. Having seen them together for a long time now Sylvia knew that that wasn't true. Sam loved her daughter too, he just wasn't very good at being deep, talking about his emotions. Her daughter on the other hand was all about being deep. That was probably why they were so good for one another. Sam lightened Blaine up, helped her to stop thinking so much and Blaine helped Sam to actually think about the important things in life. She felt her daughter shift on the bed and she snaked her arms around Sylvia's waist, laying her head on her mothers chest. Starting to stroke her daughters beautiful curls she soothed her as any mother would her little girl.

"Shh, there there honey. It's ok. I'm sure that he feels very deeply for you. I've seen him with you honey, no one can dispute that he cares for you. That he loves you darling."

"But..." Blaine started, looking up to her mother, searching for answers. Blaine was still so young and yet she was so grown up already. It was only times like this when Sylvia saw just how young Blaine still was. Her beautiful little girl with the honey eyes.

"Blaine my darling, you are a very attractive young lady. Of course Sam's going to notice. But I'm certain he sees what lies underneath." She pointed to her daughters heart and then lifted her chin up with her finger, cupping her little girls cheek and brushing it with her thumb before kissing her forehead. "In here."

"You think so?" Blaine looked up, hope filling her large eyes, her long eyelashes fluttering as she blinked away her tears.

"I do my love." She squeezed her daughter, pulling her further into her arms and watched with a glad heart as Blaine smiled widely. It was like a wondrous gift watching her daughter smile. The most precious gift that she could ever be given. When Blaine's smile faded Sylvia wondered what more there could be to this.

"I think he wants more..." Blaine murmured, looking down, not meeting her mothers gaze. Ah so they haven't had sex yet, but Sam wants to and Blaine isn't ready. I guess the talk is about to happen after all...

"And how do you feel about that my dear?" She tentatively asked. She didn't want to push her daughter, but at the same time she needed to know what was going on in her head. Sex was a serious thing for a girl, especially the first time. She didn't want her to do anything she wasn't ready for.

"I...I don't know. I mean I want to but..." Blaine trailed off, biting her lip as though she had said something wrong and was waiting for her punishment. Sylvia smiled and brushed Blaine's curls from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"But you're scared hmm?" Blaine nodded, looking relieved that she could talk to someone about this problem. Sylvia was glad. She wanted Blaine to think that she could talk to her mother about anything and everything.

"Well, the first time is always scary my love and girls have a lot more that they have to think about then boys what with pregnancy and all that. If you have any doubts then my suggestion is not to do anything till you are sure sweetheart, and if he really cares he'll accept that and wait."

Blaine nodded, it made sense to her. She curled further into Sylvia's arms and she couldn't help but let a smile erupt into her face. "Feeling a little better now?"

"Yeah.." Blaine looked a lot happier that was for certain. Her fears had been subdued at least for know.

"You know you can talk to me about anything don't you darling. And I mean anything." Blaine opened her mouth as if to say something, but promptly shut it again, smiling sheepishly at her mother. Sylvia couldn't help but wonder what other secrets her daughter held from her. Whatever it was Blaine didn't want to say and she wasn't about to push her. That was what her mother had done and it had caused Sylvia to run in the other direction. She wasn't going to be like that with Blaine. She would let her daughter come to her in her own time.

"Fancy popping some chick flicks on and eating junk food with your old mother?" She asked, changing the subject.

Blaine giggled, her trilling like a songbird. "You're not old mum." She told her directly, hugging her tightly. "I'd love to."