hello my lovely readers! I don't have much to say apart from my thanks to yous for reviewing, favouriting and following my story it means so much! :) thankyou FictionalSalvation your an amazing beta-author.

disclaimer I do not own anything apart from plot.

chapter songsbroken~ Lifehouse the man who can't be moved~ the script clocks~ coldplay

Clary awoke to four loud knocks to Magnus's bedroom door. She groaned and pulled the black-and-blue very sparkly and somehow bright blanket over her head, not wanting to face the world today. "Clary?" Magnus's soft but demanding tone asked. "Are you decent?" Before clary had the chance to reply, the door to the bedroom burst open to a very energetic-looking Magnus, causing a shriek to burst through Clary's lips. Dear god, that warlock will be the death of me.

"Magnus! I could have been… well, you know, indecent!" her voice squeaked out, still a little bit dazed from shock.

"Oh, pish posh, biscuit. I'm gay- it wouldn't have mattered." As if she wouldn't understand, Magnus threw his hands into the air and pink and purple glitter started raining down around him.

"I hardly think the glitter rain was necessary to put your point across. Besides, I already knew you were gay," replied Clary with a shake of her head, causing her auburn curls to bounce.

"Oh, now I'm offended." Magnus put a hand to his heart and pouted. "Glitter is always necessary- speaking of glitter, I made up this new song." Magnus started jumping up and down enthusiastically whilst clapping his hands together- he reminded her of a little child that just got a new toy.

"And that would be?" Clary pressed.

"Okay Clary, wait a second: I've just got to get into character." Emphasizing this, Magnus turned around and began to make funny noises with his mouth, shaking his legs and arms. Boys will be boys, and Magnus—well, Magnus will be Magnus, Clary thought with a light chuckle.

She looked up at Magnus just as he started to turn around. It was so hard to not laugh: somehow, he had managed to change his clothes from a singlet and sweats to a very sparkly rainbow suite and bright blue ravens and a tie-dye top hat with more sparkles. He looked like a rainbow disco ball- scratch that, he looked like a disco. Magnus bane was the very definition of disco.

To top it off, he had a very serious face on and started throwing glitter into the air. Then came his very off-tune singing. "It's going down, I'm throwing glitter you, better sparkle-e and wear no pants!" Then he abruptly stopped, clicked his fingers so everything went back to the way it was and bowed.

Too late to stop herself, Clary bursts into fits of laughter, "Can't b-b-breathe s-o-o-o-o-o f-un-n-n-y," Clary wheezed out through her fit of giggles. "Hey! That wasn't funny, that was my master piece. Clary, learn to respect greatness!" Magnus said dead serious, causing Clary to erupt into another fit of uncontrollable laughter, to the point of tears streaking down her face.

Magnus, now obviously very annoyed, got a bucket full to the brim of rainbow glitter -from where, Clary had no clue- and proceeded to dump the lot of it onto her, successfully halting her abusive laughing. "You did not just do that, Clary glared, clearly pissed about her new look.

"Oh my—Clary, you should really wear glitter more often- it really brings out that sparkle in you," Magnus mocked.

"Anyway, why did you wake me up? I swear to god that's the last thing I wanted to do, especially when you only get 1 hour of sleep," Clary asked, her voice taking a more serious edge.

This seemed to remind Magnus of what he really came in to talk about, his smile faltering only a little. "Clary, I'm sure you know. Now get dressed and meet me in the living room in 20 minutes." Magnus went to make a fast escape, snickering about something, only confusing Clary more. Magnus turned back to Clary just before the door closed and said, "I burnt your clothes, there are some new ones in the drawers". Oh great, this cannot be good, Clary thought.

She made her way over to the drawers and opened the top one hesitantly. By the angel, Magnus," Clary muttered, her eyes bulging at the assortment of lingerie in front of her. "What on earth does that warlock think he's doing?" Reluctantly, Clary pulled out a simple black lace push-up bra and matching lace panties.

Clary opened and peaked into the next drawer, hoping for something decent to actually wear. But no: no sweats for her to wear, only high-waisted jeans, skirts, and high-waisted shorts. Oh, boy was she going to kill him. He couldn't have let her get off with her usual sweats and a singlet. Clearly irritated with Magnus's choice of clothing, Clary yanked out a pair of high-wasted leather skinny jeans, and boy were they tight.

Exasperated, Clary pulled out a skin-tight black t-shirt. Of course it had to be skin-tight- nothing better to have your cleavage popping out like dogs balls. And finally, Clary pulled out a very comfortable and good-looking leather jacket. Finally something I can agree on.

Exiting her bedroom, Clary made her way to the bathroom to examine herself in the mirror. Her eyes bulged at the person looking back at her. She actually looked quite good. Never in a million year would clary ever wear this. Curves she never even knew existed were highly noticeable the black, complimenting her fiery red locks and her emerald green eyes nicely.

Clay squinted at her reflection and screamed- she was so flustered about the clothing she hadn't realised she was still covered from head to toe in glitter and, although most of her skin was covered. the parts that were showing looked like she bathed in glitter glue.

"MAGNUS!" she screamed. Clary exited the bathroom and stomped down the very short hallway into the living room, fuming. She had already had a bad couple of days- she didn't need this.

"Why, clary what seems to be the problem?" Magnus smirked.

"First the goddamn undergarments, then the skin-tight clothes, then the glitter! MAGNUS, WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT!"

Feeling bad for the prank, Magnus clicked his fingers and the glitter disappeared- he should have known better that she's not in the mood to joke around. Clary's posture immediately softened at having the glitter disposed of. "Thank you." More like never, ever, do that again, Magnus- not cool, Clary said to herself.

"Sorry biscuit, but back to business: we really do need to talk about what's going to happen, because whatever we do it has to be accomplished by tonight. The others will start looking for you and it will be only a matter of time before they find you," Magnus said. Clary thought she heard a note of sadness in his voice, but it changed too quickly for her to be sure.

"Well, my memories, to start off with, erase them of Jace, Izzy, Alec- of everyone that's ever known me, and do the same for them. Including my mother and Luke and Simon and yourse-"

"But-"

"No buts Magnus, just hear me out." Magnus rolled his eyes and huffed out aq "fine."

Clapping her hands together, Clary continued; "As I was saying, I will also be breaking my parabatai bond with Isabelle: I created a new rune that will allow me to do so. As for my belongings I'm sure you'd enjoy doing that thing where you click your fingers and get everything you want-"

"Summoning spell," Magnus butted in.

Clary rolled her eyes an amused expression taking hold of her face "Right, what you just said. And burn them-"

"On one condition: you let me pack your bags for you."

"Fine, but only if you let me finish speaking-"

"I-" Clary gave Magnus a death glare, successfully stopping the words from coming out of his mouth.

"I was thinking you could send me to London institute- Ov'e heard that there is another couple (James Carstairs and Tessa Gray, am I right?) who are expecting a child, and William Herondale, Jace's cousin, so I know for sure that one day in the near future me and Jace and everyone else might cross paths again."

"But you won't remember him or them-"

"Shut up Magnus! And if you'd let me finish speaking, I would get to that. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted again, I want the spell to be so I will forget and they will forget me, though if Jace and myself ever meet again all memories will be restored," Clary finished, nervously twisting a piece of hair around her fingers.

Magnus was silent for a few moments, trying to process everything she had said to him and although it hurt him immensely, he would do this for her, with no promise of ever seeing or remembering her again. "Alright, biscuit. Well, I will get everything sorted out. In the meantime, go get some rest: you have a big night ahead of you."

Gee, Clary thought. This was it. She was really going through with this no backing out now.

Following Magnus's orders, Clary made her way to the bedroom. She walked around trying to etch every single curve and corner in the walls and the colour of the painting. She knew it was useless- she was going to forget because it was all that could be done. All that needed to be done.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep easily, Clary grabbed her stele, pushing the tip into her skin and relishing in the burning sensation that came with it. She slowly and very carefully carved an intricate design of a sleeping rune and when the tip of the stele finished the pattern; her eyes had already started drooping.

She placed her stele back to where it came from and made her way to her bed, slowly lowering herself down and, when her small head of red curls hit the pillow, she let sleep take her.

….

They'd been searching all day for their little redhead. Night had fallen over, New York City forcing them to meet back up at the institute.

Earlier today, after receiving their letters from Clary, they each had only half an hour to wrap their heads around what was going on and, instead of being alone, they spent it in each other's arms. They really were a sight to see 4 people lying down on the floor, sobbing into one another's shoulders. By the time they all had gotten out of their little moment half an hour had passed, so they each went their separate ways and started searching high and low on the streets of New York.

By the time Jace had gotten back to the institute, Izzy, Simon and Alec were already waiting for him. "Any luck Jace?" with a strained voice Izzy said. Jace shook his head, afraid that if he spoke he would lose control of his body and break down.

There was a very tense and depressing silence that filled the air before Simon broke it. His voice was wavering; "M-may-b-be w-e we cou-l-l-d tr-y trackin-g h-er agai-n," his voice cracked towards the end and a few tears spilt down his cheeks.

"We don't have time!" Jace yelled. "It didn't work the last three times so why should it work now?"

"It's better than doing nothing! I don't see you coming up with any ideas golden boy!" Simon yelled back as equally loud.

"That's because there's nothing we can do rat-boy—she's gone and there's nothing we can do!"

This time it was Izzy's turn to yell: "Both of you shut it! And Jace, stop speaking like that. We can't lose hope- not yet, not ever. We will find her whether it's the last thing we do." She started mumbling to herself: "we will, we have to, we will find her," but doubt was getting the better of her. "But what if we don't? What will we do then?"

"Izzy," Alec's soft voice whispered in her ear. "Izzy," Alec said, slightly louder and firmer, breaking her out of her thoughts. "You're crying again—it's okay, everything will be okay."

"You don't know that, Alec," Izzy sobbed. "For what she said to us she's going to make us forget about her, somehow, it would be torture. I would have a parabatai rune on me without the faintest idea who belongs to it." Izzy turned around and collapsed in her brothers arms.

"Shhh, shhhh you're okay. Things will turn out okay, whether it is tomorrow or in ten years, but one things for sure: everything will all be okay in the end."

Alec looked up to see Jace and Simon now over their fight, sitting down slumped against the wall, together sharing a beer. Jace's face was so different from his usual. All his protective barriers were down and all you could see was raw emotion etched across every line of his face, sadness taking domination over all the rest.

Alec felt the weight of the world on his shoulders: he was the only one with any hope left, and even though he still had hope he could feel it burning away by the second. He wasn't going to give up, not yet at least. There was still time, precious time they could be using to find Clary instead of moping around and letting it slip between their fingers. If they were to act, they were to act now. Because it was now or never.

"Get up now everyone!" Alec demanded "You all want to find clary, yet you are wasting time we don't have on moping around. Don't lose hope yet! Hope is the only thing that could even bring us close to finding Clary, and without it we will achieve nothing."

Alec let his sister go; only to see her sit down and slouch back against the wall, he tried pulling her wrist to get her up. "Get up, get up, get up! Just get up Izzy!" Alec yelled; "Please." He could feel his hoping slipping away but he couldn't let go—not now.

He marched over to Jace and Simon and slapped the bottle of beer out of their hands. They looked up at him with distant and sad eyes "It's only been a day and you are ready to give up! You can't! There is still hope—we need to go out and find her. We should try Magnus's; we should have went there first," Alec's voice dropped a few octaves. In return Jace and Simon just stared back at him. "Why won't you listen? Please, just listen. I'm begging you: it's not too late. If we act now, we can get her back. I bet you she's at Magnus's—why didn't we think of that at the start? That's the only person who can erase her memories, hide her from tracking spells, and is like her brother." Alec started to fill up with hope: she was at Magnus's. He knew she was.

But after a minute passed and no one bothered to reply but instead stare blankly up at him, he felt his hope splinter. "Please," he all but cried; "we have to go look there," he went around trying to pull them up to no avail. "Izzy, Jace, Simon: we have to; it's not too late. It's our only hope," his voice sounding more hoarse then before.

His hope was burning away into ashes now, but he willed the fire to just keep burning just for a little while longer. "Please," came his strangled voice, he knew he was losing.

"Just give up, Alec! She's not coming back! She's gone and we won't ever be able to find her! Why can't you just give up already?" Izzy screamed, tears pouring down her face with each word. "Stop trying to fill us up with hope when it could be so easily crushed and with it us."

"No, Izzy, she's there, I promise you she's at Magnus's;" came Alec's reply but he wasn't so sure he believed himself anymore.

"Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! How do you know that?!

"I-"

"You don't know that! For all we know she's not there! Just give up already, Alec. She's gone and she's not coming back." Another burst of sobs tore through Izzy's body.

Alec could feel the hope in him fighting to be released. "She is there! It makes perfect sense!" Alec tried to yell but failed.

"Just give up Alec!" Izzy yelled again.

Alec started to let go but he couldn't; he needed it! "We have nothing to lose, let's just go and check! Please, I'm sure she will be there."

"Just give it up man, we do have something to lose, you know? Our hearts! Forever! If we go there and she's not there it's only going to confirm that looking for her is useless; she can create runes for anything for god's sake! So what's stopping her from creating one that makes people forget about you, huh!? She's gone. Just let go," Jace said, his voice hollow.

Then came Simon's empty voice. "Just give up already. I can see you struggling to hold on, just give up, before your hope crushes you."

"B-bu-t I ca-n-n-n-t," Alec said just above a whisper.

Then Izzy's strangled and deteriorating voice ripped him to shreds "Just give up, please," she begged in a mix full of tears.

All hope Alec had left him in a gust, leaving his body to a very hollow and empty feeling, and then tears slowly started falling down his cheeks. He let his gaze fall to the ground and slowly he made his way to his bedroom. First he lost Magnus and now his baby doll, what was the use of hope if it only ever crushed you?

…..

Alec awoke to loud screams of terror tearing through the institute—he faintly recognized it was Izzy's voice so he began running down the hall to her bedroom with what little energy he had left. He briefly looked over towards the clock to see it was 11.00 pm. When his eyes locked onto Izzy's trembling frame, he saw the shape of her parabatai ruin bleed through her white pyjama top. He stopped dead on his tracks: that could only mean one thing—Clary was dead.

Jace and Simon came bounding up behind him, both going wide eyed and shocked. "No, no no no no no." Jace started backing up against the wall. "No! She can't be: she can't! NO!" He turned around and punched a hole in the wall and then another and another until his hand was bloody and bruised. "I should have listened to you, Alec. We all should have, maybe if we did she would still be alive and my child would, too."

With that being said, Jace stormed out of the room, but he was trembling. Simon crumpled to the floor and Alec stood there, staring at Isabelle in pure disbelief and sadness, while she sat their rocking her quivering frame back and forth while chanting, "Clary's gone, Clary's gone, Clary's gone."

Alec gently picked up his sister's stele off the bedside table and walked over to her. He gently took her hand and started carving a sleeping rune into her palm—she barely even noticed. Her eyes drooped slightly and then her head fell back against the pillow; in a matter of just seconds she was deeply asleep.

He then made his way over to Simon, and because he was now a shadowhunter, he repeated the same thing he had done to Isabelle. Simon fell asleep on her floor almost instantly, after having the ruin applied. Just before he left the room he turned back and took in his sister's pale skin, rosy red cheeks, and her hair plastered to her face from sweat.

Shockingly, he noticed that the blood had disappeared of her night gown. He passed it off as a trick of the eye and made his way to the training room where he was sure Jace would be.

He was right, of course: Jace was punching the hell out of a punching bag in the corner of the room. Slowly, Alec walked up to him and started tracing a rune on his bare back, surprised by the fact that Jace didn't feel it. Jace then fell backwards into Alec's arms. Slowly, Alec lowered Jace down onto the floor and traced two healing runes on each of Jace's wrists. As Alec was walking out of the training room, he heard Jace's soft snores follow him.

Once Alec was back in his own bed, he drew a sleeping room on himself and, slowly, cautiously yet carelessly, he let the darkness take him away from his life.

chapter quotes~

it feels right. but it's emotional. saying goodbye to anything you done that long is hard. ~angela ruggierro

"The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye...until we meet again" ~jimi Hendrix

chapter 6 done and finished. review what you thought? until next time -em