It took five weeks for Rin to break the silence.
I've been hooking up with makoto for two weeks now, I have to get drunk every time, and when I close my eyes I think of Rin.
I feel so guilty.
Partly for abusing Makoto, I can tell he wants more from me than drunken sex.
And for being unfaithful to Rin. But if he wanted fidelity he shouldn't have left so many times.
Besides, I see the way he looks at Sosuke, I'm not the only boy in his playbook.

(More like Sos-gayyy)

But back to the silence. Rin texted me 20 minutes ago asking if I could come over.
I want to go to him so bad.
To feel his skin against my own, his warm strong arms around me.
I want him to numb the pain and make me feel alive.
But if I go to him he will only hurt me.
But I do need to talk to him...
Fuck it I'm doing it.

*in Rin's bedroom approximately 20 minutes later*

I sit on his bed with my legs crossed and he sits on a desk chair across from me.
"Thank you for coming over," he says, "I need to talk to you… about, things…"
Something is wrong. He won't look me in the eye, and there is nothing reassuring in his words.
"...I've been hearing… rumors about you Haru..." He stumbles over his words a bit,
"you know Makoto can't keep his mouth shut. I know I don't treat you the way that I should, and we never said we were exclusive, I sure as hell can't say I've been one hundred percent faithful, but god this hurts. What are you doing with him Haru?" Are those tears in his eyes?

"R-rin… you know I… I care about you…" No I can't just give him what he wants.
"Makoto cares about me. I know I'm the only one he's with and he always returns my calls. I want to be with you Rin but it hurts. I can never tell how you feel about me and you're never here when I need you." I stare at my toes. I'm nervous for him to react but this feels so good, "Sosuke may not mind but I can't share." I look up. He stares me dead in the eye,
"And yet you want me to?" He walks over and sits close to me on the bed and leans in,
"I won't share you, Haru. If that means I have to break it off with Sosuke then so be it. I'm willing to change for you. I want you Haru." I can feel his words brush against my neck and I crumble.

I slide my arms around his waist,
"You promise?" I whisper.
"I swear." He smiles and pushes me into his mattress.
His kisses are like drugs to me. It's an addiction, so powerful it can crush me if I'm not careful.
Tonight they start soft, pulling me in before crashing down on me. Its like theres a prize at the back of my mouth that we fight over.
He pulls back and stares at me with a deviant look in his eyes.
"Close your eyes" He whispers to me.
I do as I'm told and cover them with my hands. His weight shifts and when it returns he lifts my wrists above my head. I hear a click and feel cold metal on my skin. I open my eyes and when I pull on my wrists they don't budge.

I arch my back and see shiny handcuffs confining my wrists to the headboard.
My heart is beating so fast, I can't tell if I'm scared or excited.
Both. Let's go with both.
Rin is definitely excited.
He leans down to bite and kiss my neck while pushing his hips into mine.
I squirm in my bonds and feel my stomach drop.
"I hate you." I mumble, though my words are soaked in lust.

"Prove it." He smirks and kisses from my collar bones all the way down to the edge of my pants.
As he undresses me I feel a pang of guilt for Makoto.
But my mind clears when I feel Rin's teeth, tugging down my swimsuit.
I watch him undress next.
God it's hot in here.
I want to touch him, but I'm confined. I tug again. Nothing.
He reaches into his dresser and pulls out a bottle of Lubricant.

Three rules of Gay Sex:
Lot's of lube
Go slow
Communication

Part one is done. His hands are caring and the lube is cold.
I squirm at the familiar, yet still off putting feeling and he laughs. A small gasp escapes me when I feel him inside of me.
I get lost in the moment. The way he touches me, the way his skin feels against my own, it's.. it's infatuating.
He moans into my ear and a strain at my bonds, I feel so helpless. He bites down on my ear and… Fuck... I ruin his sheets.
A hot throbbing warmth is sent over my body. My body is paralyzed from the ecstasy of having sensations spread through my body. I can feel the pain from the handcuffs as I pull on them, but it feels really good. The warm tingling feeling fades and I come back to reality.

Rin moans loudly.
He roll of me and lays next to me, catching his breath.
I guess he came to. Cool.
He uncuffs me and as a rub my wrists he examines the damage.
I am covered in, hickeys, bruises, bite marks, and deep scratches.
He kisses my forehead, and wraps me up in his arms and legs.
"I love you." He says.
My whole body is filled with warmth, "I love you to."
I smile and drift into a blissful sleep.