Title: Reptilian Romance
Summary: "FROSTING IS NOT A LUBRICANT! USE THE BUTTER INSTEAD!" A collection of OneShots featuring various slash pairings and a healthy dose of humor.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership ties to TMNT or anything I might reference.
Author's Note: Here there be slight Raph/Don, mentioned Mikey/Leo, past OT3, and pending OT4.
...
Raph/Don [GAMES]
Leo was the leader for a reason. His knowledge of teamwork and strategy was on par. After one too many close calls on a roof-turned-battlefield, he declared that it was necessary for them gain a new understanding and appreciation for one another while he meditated with their sensei.
True to his rebellious nature, Raphael had offered a rude hand gesture before verbally refusing, but Donatello and Michelangelo were more compliant and had decided to humor the idea.
Thus, Mikey found himself in Don's room with a book in his lap and a bored expression on his face as he flipped through the pages.
"Worst... Thing... Ever," he whined dramatically, slamming a book closed and tossing it aside, uncaring as it landed on the floor. He dropped back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow. He sighed heavily, bored out of his shell. "This might as well be punishment. Donnie could've at least let me play in the lab. There's nothing to do in here!" He rolled his eyes, gaining a dramatic view of the room as it appeared to spin. He sat up once his vision came to rest on his genius brother's laptop. "Hellooooo, entertainment," he drew out, mouth forming a wide grin.
He sat up and flung himself comically out of the bed and darted over to the laptop.
He flipped it open and was greeted with a lockscreen.
His grin widened. "Time to show Mr. Einstein that he's not the only genius," he said slyly, eyes narrowing in mischievous glee. A few taps on the keyboard and the open desktop welcomed him.
...
Meanwhile, Donatello frowned in discomfort. His hands felt strange as they held the PS2 controller.
His attempt to understand his youngest brother would be ventured through a short gaming marathon- which would be perfectly fine... if he had any desire to play.
He'd been at it for almost an hour, and all he'd managed to do was clear a tutorial and die twelve different ways, four of which had been accidental suicide- because, apparently, you can collect damage on recoil, and it's surprisingly easy to blow yourself up, and- Oh, that one time he'd hit the wrong button and detonated a bomb...
Don didn't see the value in such recreational activity.
He sighed heavily, dropped the controller in his lap, and pressed his fingers to his temples to massage away an oncoming migraine.
As the purple-masked ninja stressed over the trivial vice, he couldn't be bothered to notice the watchful eyes of a certain emerald-skinned turtle. At least, he didn't notice until the familiarly gruff voice reached his ear slits, stating simply: "You ain't gonna like a game like that."
Blinking in surprise, Don turned to look over his shoulder at his red-masked sibling. "Raph? I was just-"
"Yeah, I know. Kissin' up ta Fearless, blah, blah, blah. But... you're doin' it all wrong."
Don rolled his eyes in repose and turned his attention back to the tv, where red painted the screen and tattled his demise once more. He clicked 'CONTINUE,' and tried again.
Raphael walked closer, his stride purposeful as he lessened the gap between himself and Donatello. He hopped over the back of the couch and landed next to his intelligent brother. Cracking his neck and leaning back, he stretched his arms over the back of the couch; his hand casually brushed against Don's shoulder, causing the other turtle to instinctively shy away.
"Y'know, Donnie, I meant what I said. You're doin' this all wrong. Games are fun, but ya gotta play the right ones," Raph said, spreading his legs so that his knee touched his brother's. "You ain't the violent type, so you ain't gonna like a 1st person shooter. Too much blood. Not good fer ya."
Don stole a glance at his own knee, where Raph's kneepad brushed against it. The slight distraction afforded his character to be gunned down once more. With a nervous huff, Don turned to make eye contact with his red-masked brother. "Then, what do you propose would be a more fitting game? As far as I can tell from the choices I had, this one appeared to be the most realistic, and-"
"Ya can't judge a game solely on graphics, Brainiac. Geez. Ya think anyone would bother playing the Donkey Kong if it had real chimps? Fuck no, because that's stupid as shit. Monkeys collectin' bananas. Might as well watch a documentary. Tch. Nah, ya wanna play somethin' with good gameplay and a plot that fits yer interests." Tapping Don lightly on the shoulder and then getting up, Raph moved to the stack of games and bent over to look through them. His ass and toned muscular thighs presented and on display, his tail peaked out from under his shell and wiggled enticingly. Like a worm baiting a hook.
Don's breath hitched at the view of the exposed appendage, and he quickly averted his gaze.
"Ah, there we go. Perfect game fer a genius," Raph said suddenly, erecting his posture and procuring a game case. Not allowing Don a clear view of said case, he proceeded to remove the game his brother had been playing in favor of replacing it with his finding. Once finished, he reclaimed his seat next to Don.
Audio came a fraction of a second before the visual, and the screen was filled with a blue sky and clouds before an aircraft cut through and proceeded to approach a large city.
Don found himself marveling the pixilated architectural designs of the larger buildings before his knee was bumped again by Raphael's, followed by the instruction of: "Hey, this is where ya press the 'NEW GAME' option. Just hit X."
Blushing at his failure to notice the option- having been too caught up in observation- he clicked X and then redirected his focus as a noble voice began to speak of pending war and a wedding that would unite two fronts.
Then... a cutscene. A wedding. A beautiful young woman and a dashingly handsome young man, both in unique attire that spoke of royalty.
Then... destruction.
Don watched in horror as the scenes unfolded and a war broke out without prompt. The would-be groom immediately set off for battle, declaring proudly that he would defend his land and his bride.
... While the saying goes 'Love conquers all,' that battle proved otherwise.
The would-be prince, stabbed. The princess, heartbroken... but not broken. Because she would one day rise again and control a resistance army.
Thoroughly captivated, Don almost jumped in surprise as he felt Raph's arm slip around him and pull him close. Too close. Close enough that he could feel his brother's breath ghosting across his face and down his neck, giving him chills.
"Tragic, ain't it? But it gets better," Raph said with a small, knowing smile, pulling Don just a bit closer and deepening his voice in the most alluring way. "Everythin's gonna be ruined fer a while. Vicious tyrant takes over- all that shit. But then ya got this hero... A little no-name bastard who steals and exterminates rats fer a livin'. He gets himself a quick job- your first quest- and ya get inta all kinds of trouble. Ya make all kinds of friends. And ya help people. Ya do quests. Get rewards. And- now this is the part you'll like- you get to track your stats."
Unable to conceal tremble that racked his body, Don perked and turned to look at Raph after hearing the last word. "Stats?" he queried, genuinely intrigued.
Raph withdrew his arm from around Don and smirked, amused that he had so raptly captured his intelligent brother's attention. "Yeah, ya like statistics, right? Numbers? Well, any time you open your menu- with the Triangle button- you can check yer stats. There's numbers for your Attack, Defense, Dexterity, and-" he rattled it off from memory, not noticing the way Don's eyes watched him with an excitable gleam.
And Don couldn't help watching, staring, ogling. Because, yes, Raphael was his brother, but they'd always been close. And Raph had always been attractive, borderline obsessed with his own physique. And... now... Raphael had just used the word Dexterity, shortly followed by Vitality. And then talk of Percentages. And Upgrades and Levels.
Sure, it was all game-related talk, but when Raph spoke, there was a natural lilt in the already captivating accent. There was passion in his voice as he prattled on about 'spawning treasures' and- 'What was he talking about again?'
Don's eyes glazed over and he found himself nodding along almost absentmindedly, lost in his brother's voice and unable to focus on much more, let alone comprehend what was being said.
Until- "And that's when ya gotta pay attention, because the damn thing's fuckin' invisible! But there's a trick that can make it visible. Ya gotta cast a magick on yourself while ya got the 'reflect' status. Then, the magick bounces off and hits the damn thing. Then it becomes visible, and... Don? Donnie? Are you even listening?"
Blinking rapidly, Don took a moment to collect and compose himself. "I..." he trailed off, embarrassed. "I stopped listening after you mentioned the Random Number Generator," he confessed softly, lowering his head, gaze dropping. His feet suddenly looked so much more interesting than he remembered.
But Raph only chuckled in repose. "Maybe this game's too sophisticated fer ya. Maybe I should think of another one?"
Insulted at the implication of his own ignorance, Don's head shot up and he glared fiercely at his hotheaded sibling. "I'll play. And I'll beat it. I'll do all the quests, and-" his words were cut off as Raph's beak pressed against his own in a gentle semblance of a kiss.
It was brief, chaste, and Raphael pulled away entirely too soon for Don's liking.
"I'm just givin' you a hard time, Donnie," he said. "You're too stressed. Games are supposed ta be relaxin', but if it ain't, you should do somethin' else."
In response, Don mumbled something under his breath.
"What's that? Didn't hear ya."
And Don repeated, louder. "I said... I really don't care for games of this sort, but... I'd be willing to play something else."
To that, Raph grinned, eyes lighting up as if he'd hit the lottery. "Good, 'cause you've been playin' hard to get, and it's frustratin' as hell. I've been puttin' the moves on ya all week." Getting to his feet and stretching languidly, feeling his joints pop pleasantly, he turned to walk towards the kitchen; then, almost as an afterthought, Raph halted mid-way and called back: "Wait here and look pretty. I'll get Mikey. And Leo. And a bottle."
"Bottle?" Don parroted uncertainly.
"Fer Spin-the-Bottle! It's a great game. Easy. Simple. And it can lead ta some interesting situations. You like numbers? Well, crunch these numbers, Einstein. 3 out of 4 turtles play this game weekly. 90% of the time, I'm thinkin' of you when I'm suckin' face with the others. Mikey and Leo are practically an item, and it's about time you stop givin' me the cold shoulder."
...
[There we go. The content is mild, but I eventually want to work my way into an M-rated chapter. XD]