Seems that I'm on a roll and as I really liked your reactions after that revelation, here's the new chapter!

Also, some people said that I should have warned you that this story had a genderbent Harry. But then, could I really say that it's a plot twist when everyone know that it's going to happen?

And concerning the final pairing, Zetsu is going to have to fight if he wants Harry. Because he won't be the only one who wants a bit of the tree boy/Survivor... Also, didn't I say (multiple times too) that this was a crackfic? All crackfics have crackpairings, right?

Death leaned on her rod and rubbed pensively her chin. Well, this hadn't been planned.

She mused briefly on her next actions. The jinchūriki woman was now dead, killed by Kurama the Nine Tailed Beast while she protected her baby. And all of that in front of the Harry Potter lad.

This wasn't going to end well, Death thought quite grimly. She was going to have to do some extra hours now. And here she was, wishing of a good lemon tea...

She felt the jinchūriki woman's soul appear by her side and Death cocked her head to glance at her. She was a young woman with fire red hair and sparkling green eyes. Didn't she look a bit like the Potter lad's own mother? That meant seriously bad news.

Death sighed heavily and made a brief hand sign to the now deceased woman to follow her.

"Let's talk elsewhere, my dear," she crooned. "Things will get frisky in a matter of seconds..."

The soul frowned and glared at Death who was slightly miffed by that act. Wasn't she respected anymore?

Well, she still had that Hidan lad who was making daily sacrifices for her. Maybe she should give him some recompense.

And then, the lad who had dared lose her Hallows snapped.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Harry glanced at the pierced bodies and then at the crying baby. If he strained his ears, he could hear what the redhead kunoichi was whispering to her child. He didn't want to as it was a strictly family only moment.

Harry wasn't that cute baby's family. He was more of a plantlike carnivorous boy's family. Even if they hated each other guts like Weasley and Malfoy hated each other.

Nonetheless, the scene that he was seeing didn't please him. At all.

When Tobi had told him that he intended to release the Bijuu from the pregnant jinchūriki, Harry had already had some remorse. But now that he was seeing that woman, whose he hadn't even had a word with, sacrificing herself to save her son, it didn't sit well with him.

He gritted his teeth and felt the Beast's chakra invade him and give him more strength. More than he'd ever need.

His mission was achieved, the Bijuu was free and the parents were back to their son's side. Nothing tied him in Konoha anymore.

Nonetheless...

Harry glanced once again at the two bodies that were pierced by the Bijuu's sharp talon and he frowned. He could already see Death and her old mug just above the two dying parents.

The blond guy who had freed his hand from the tree earlier suddenly turned his head and glared at Death before turning his surprisingly still sharp blue eyes at the wizard. Harry blinked slowly when he met the intense look of the ninja and he felt his whole body freeze when the blonde articulated silently something.

'Can I trust you?'

The former wizard curtly nodded and felt his chest tighten when he noticed how the blonde stranger was coughing blood.

'Remember your promise...'

The Bijuu's chakra suddenly spiralled towards the blonde and the crying child and Harry widened his eyes in surprise. He could feel how the chakra was diminishing and his body didn't appreciate it one bit. It seemed that it liked being in its adult form...

So Harry used the attack that his darling mummy had taught him and that he hated using. Mostly because it reminded him every time he used it that he wasn't a human anymore. Thus, spores came out of his body and floated gently in the air before fusing with the Bijuu's hide. The Nine Tailed Fox screamed as it felt how its chakra was swiftly vanishing, eaten by those two seals and by that unknown menace. Harry gritted his teeth as he felt his skin creak under all that chakra pressure that was steadily increasing and he swiftly cut the connexion with his spores when he knew that he had had enough. However, he let the spores keep sucking the Bijuu's chakra, weakening the beast further so the blonde's dying wish could be realised.

"I... Leave Naru...to in your hands... Tree boy," the blond ninja whispered weakly as the Bijuu disappeared in the baby's seal.

Harry nodded silently and watched the man's life flicker before he looked at the snivelling baby.

"So..." the former survivor said when the silence of the aftermath came upon the desolated place and it became unbearable to his ears, "it's only you and me now... What do you think of it, Naruto?"

The baby sniffed softly and began to wail loudly while cascade of tears ran on his pudgy face. The other boy took him in his arms and rocked him softly.

"Same here," Harry accorded while he ran his hand through his hair. "Huh?"

He slowly moved his hand down and looked at it with a puzzled face. His eyes sparkled with curiosity and he flexed his fingers while he observed the flowers that were slowly growing in place of his nails. Then, he ran that same hand through his unruffled hair and his eyes widened in horror when he clearly felt flowers wither under his fingers. The wizard plucked one of them and took it in front of his eyes to observe it.

"Holy sweet Merlin," he muttered with a frown while Naruto tried to take a hold on the withering flower. It was a tiny flower with an intense color, not that it mattered to Harry, but the strangest was that it had grown from his hair. From his fucking hair that wasn't supposed to be a plant.

His vague notions of Herbology came to his mind and Harry felt himself sick when he remembered that the flowers, besides being pretty and useful for some potions and poisons were something along the reproductive system for plants. Like the place where the future fruit was waiting to be impregnated...

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," the plant boy shook vividly his head and began to laugh almost hysterically. "That's just your imagination, Potter! I'm sure that even that bastard Zetsu has flowers! Nothing to worry about!"

But it was.

Nonetheless, Harry put those matters aside and decided to worry about something as important, if not more than his sexuality.

Naruto. What the hell was he supposed to do with a baby jinchūriki when he was a plantlike wizard who ate Bijuu's chakra? Use him as his snackfest? (He was pretty sure that the blonde ninja would came back from his grave to kill him if he dared do that...)

Raise him like his son? He had already some practice with Teddy so Harry was pretty sure that he could manage it. Except that he didn't want to go through another teenager crisis when he had enough in his plate. (He still wanted his Harry Junior back, damn it!)

Abandon him and let those Konoha ninjas raise him? Technically, he had realised that promise. The parents had come back to Naruto's side (and had died right away) so he didn't have any connection to the baby... But still... Whenever he remembered the face of the blonde shinobi right before he vanished from existence, Harry felt his chest tighten and he didn't want to feel like shit like this everyday...

Decisions, decisions everywhere.

Harry felt the ground shiver slightly and he quickly jumped on a fallen rock while he watched his little brother's head come out of the ground. Zetsu smirked at him, his sharp teeth gleaming in the light that came out of the fire (Harry still hadn't put the fire out of the place) and both of Madara's creation looked at each other in silence.

"I see that you have the new jinchūriki," Zetsu drawled as his whole body came out of the earth.

Harry narrowed his eyes and tightened unconsciously his hold on the baby. Naruto whimpered softly and the wizard rubbed his cheek against the blonde's to soothe him. The baby took a hold on one of Harry's tresses and began playing with some of the flowers that hadn't withered yet.

"I'm thinking of keeping it," Harry retorted as calmly.

Zetsu narrowed his yellow eyes and the other plantlike being tensed. As they had lived together for decades, they knew how the other thought and fought so they both knew that they were about to exchange blows.

"You can't betray us," Zetsu said after a while. "Remember our birth... You're to be with us..."

Harry growled.

"I see that you still remember it," Zetsu commented while his smirk developed in a full snarl. His teeth gleamed once again before disappearing behind his bicolored lips. "Enjoy your freedom, whelp, it won't last long..."

Harry snarled and used his grown body to attack his bastard of a brother while carefully shielding Naruto with some of his vines/roots. His left arm pierced Zetsu's chest and the wizard made a feral grin while his brother's blood splattered him. He felt some of White Zetsu's spore try to invade him but he countered them with his own spores.

"We aren't brothers for nothing," Zetsu said with his raspy voice. "For every attack that you have, I have the perfect defence..."

"I could say the same," Harry retorted as he extirpated the man's heart.

Zetsu dissolved in mud and the green eyed boy frowned.

"A clone," he muttered grimly. "Someday, I'll kill him..."

"I take it as you're finally free to explain what happened here..." an unknown voice suddenly said.

Harry swiftly turned and put his left hand in front of him while he made sure with his right arm that Naruto was safe against his chest. Then, he looked at the older man that was standing tall in front of him, shielded by two masked persons.

"Who at you?" Harry asked sternly. His narrowed eyes took notice of the strange weapons that the elder wielded and his body tensed, if they fought it wouldn't end well. Mostly for Naruto as Harry could now endure anything as his body was full of Bijuu chakra.

"Sarutobi Hiruzen," the elder answered curtly. "And who might you be?"

"Mori Yurushi," the wizard quickly invented. He then took a deep breath and slowly put his hand down before showing the baby that he held in his arms. "A blond shinobi asked me to take care of him. His name is Naruto. What do you intend to do to him?"

Hiruzen held his breath and Harry widened briefly his eyes. So the elder knew about Naruto's name. That meant that he had knew the parents. The plantlike boy relaxed slightly and his eyes softened when he glanced at the still whimpering baby. Poor thing hadn't even had something to eat in his first day on earth... Maybe some sap could help?

Harry closed briefly his eyes and drew the chakra around him as the Bijuu's chakra that now coated his whole body. Then, he made a vine (or was it a root? He didn't want to know) come out of his left hand and presented it to his mouth. He quickly bit off the extremity and tasted the sap before scowling. That wouldn't work. At all. And using vines (root?) to feed a baby would seem pretty perverted now that he thought about it... So help from the village it was...

Harry sighed heavily and met the elder's dark eyes.

"Hiruzen was it?" he asked with a tired voice. "I have something to ask you..."

Sarutobi Hiruzen, former Third Hokage and by the look of things here now current Hokage, felt his blood turn to ice when he met those serious green eyes.

He had never seen that man before (and he was pretty sure that flowery hair like that would have marked him) but Hiruzen could feel the power that the stranger emitted. As he could see how the air vibrated around him from the strenuous chakra he possessed. If the Sage of the Six Paths had really existed, he would have looked like that the Third Hokage mused silently.

"Help me raise Naruto," the stranger implored as he bowed humbly his head. "I know that he has the Nine Tailed Bijuu in him and that it destroyed your Village just now but... Don't abandon him."

Hiruzen rubbed his eyelids and sighed wearily.

'Minato,' he thought while he eyed discreetly the stranger with the Fourth's baby. 'You always had the knack to find the most disparate allies...'

"Fine," he relented. "But you'll have to tell us your real name. And why you were here tonight, mister..."

"Haruichi," Harry said with a small smile. "Mori no Haruichi. But I prefer going by the name Harry."

"Morino?" Hiruzen repeated pensively. "Are you perhaps tied to Morino Ibiki?"

"Am not," the wizard shook his head and glanced at the wailing Naruto. "Could we talk somewhere else? I don't want Naruto to get sick. And I need some powder milk. A lot."

Hiruzen chuckled and quickly sobered when he remembered how much he still had to do that night. He still had to grieve Biwako. And the whole village had to be under repairs...

"A cup of tea sounds nice," he admitted.

But first, he had to find out if that stranger with flowery hair was a danger for Konoha.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Hoshigaki Kisame frowned and downed his canteen of water. However, it didn't stop his thirst and his glare increased tenfolds when Suikazan Fuguki, his teacher, told him that the next stop would be at Sunagakure. And that was at two days of travel.

"Damn that brat," Kisame muttered darkly while he palmed briefly his former injury.

When he had fought against that strange boy made of wood, the bastard had succeeded in slashing his chest and Kisame now arbored a bright new scar in the lovely form of a heart. How the brat had done it, he still couldn't picture it but he now had that damned scar. A heart shaped scar above his heart... How ironic.

So the fact that Kisame was seething in anger was pretty understandable. And when he was ordered by the Mizukage to go straight to Suna and look for Sasori of the Red Sand, Kisame had never been that happy to be sent to kill someone. If that Sasori was the one who created the brat, Kisame would be the one to kill the puppet master. Mostly because creating a brat as annoying as that one was a crime against humanity.

His shark like senses felt something shifting under the sand and Kisame quickly jumped while the sand erupted like something had exploded. The shinobi glanced briefly at the other Swordmen of the mist and nodded to himself when he noticed that only two had been taken by the explosion. It didn't really matter, they were strong and they could survive something like that.

Fuguki came next to his spot and they stood in the shifting sand as they watched a being emerge from the sand.

"What is this?" Fuguki muttered as he took out Samehada.

Kisame felt the sword hiss in his master's hand and frowned. Since some days ago, Samehada had acted strange, almost like it wanted to kill its master. But Fuguki wasn't one to be killed by his own weapon so nothing had happened.

"Seeing your quick reactions," a raspy male voice drawled. "I assume that you are ninjas. Maybe from the Mist?"

"Kisame," Fuguki said sternly as he wielded Samehada and made sure that the moving sand didn't take him away from his pupil. "Stay back. We have finally found him..."

"And you're looking for me," the man jumped out of the moving sands and touched down right in front of the Swordman. "It seems that news of my deserting came out fast..."

"I don't care about that," Kisame suddenly exclaimed as he pushed his master so the latter could avoid a wave of senbon. Knowing Sasori, it was safer to avoid any weapons than to be sorry later when you were poisoned to death... Still, Fuguki fell on the sand with a pained grunt as a senbon had grazed his shoulder. "Are you the one who created that damned brat?!"

The man named Sasori halted his shower of senbon and tilted his head. "Damned brat?" he mused slowly. "I don't have children amongst my puppets..."

"He can grow old in a matter of seconds," Kisame succinctly explained as he had noticed the nuke-nin's curiosity. "Entirely made of wood and his blood's green. Doesn't sound familiar?"

"A... Living puppet?" Sasori muttered. He raised a hand and a form, similar to a colossal human-like scorpion, came out of the moving sand. The sand quieted down and the redhead rubbed pensively his chin. "You met a living puppet?"

"So you don't have any connection to that brat," Kisame grumbled. "Damn..."

"This brat that you talk about," the master puppeteer said. "Where was he last sighted?"

"Who knows," the sharklike young man shrugged. "He seemed pretty air-headed , like even he doesn't know where to go next... Maybe he'll go after you."

"What is its name?"

"Dunno," Kisame was beginning to grow annoyed. He had walked under that scorching sun for nothing and sharks didn't like being that far from the water.

Samehada hissed in the sand and Kisame smirked. It seemed that they shared the same opinion about the weather in Suna.

"Those news were pretty interesting," Sasori commented as he turned and walked towards his scorpion puppet. "In thanks, I won't kill you today."

Kisame frowned and made a move to attack the puppeteer. However, Fuguki's grunt of pain stopped him and he quickly turned to tend to his master's injuries.

Meanwhile, Sasori rubbed pensively his chin and smirked to himself.

'A living puppet,' he thought as his smirk widened. 'I need to see it...'

⊂((・x・))⊃

As someone who was half plant, half human, Harry had some problems to notice how the time passed. To him, days and nights passed and were all the same and remembering a precise moment was pretty impossible. Sometimes, he even wondered how Zetsu could be a good spy if they shared the same problem.

So when he noticed that Naruto was now big enough to crawl in the dingy apartment that the Third Hokage had given him, Harry flipped. He hadn't even realised that Naruto could crawl and the baby was now doing it just in front of him! How could he call himself a good father if he didn't even notice those kind of things?

(Yes, he had finally decided to be Naruto's father as the baby's parents return was pretty much impossible right now...)

Thus Harry decided to write down each and every move from the happy baby. Specifically when the latter was playing outside.

"Are you ready, Naruto?" Harry asked and he smiled when he saw the baby nod energetically while raising his hands.

The green eyed male took the baby in his arms and they both sighed in happiness as Naruto was now in his favourite person's hold and Harry was simply happy because the Bijuu's chakra that Naruto arbored was feeding him. And that it was easier like this to conserve his teenager body. People suspected less a teenager so Harry had decided to take that appearance. He now looked like that Yurushi guy from Yugakure but had kept his eyes. Naruto seemed to enjoy theit colour so it wasn't that bad.

They got out of their dingy but sunny apartment and Harry went down the stairs while Naruto played happily with his adoptive father's hair. The flowers had vanished since long ago but there still were buds amongst his raven tresses. Harry tried to not think about it as even Zetsu hadn't hair like that. (Well, he had grass in place of hair so... Harry wasn't sure who was to pity more between them)

They got out of the building and Harry greeted Teuchi who was opening his store and Naruto gave a scream of pure happiness when he noticed the cooker. Since he had ate some of Teuchi's ramen, Naruto had been adamant at showing that he loved ramen. It didn't really annoy Harry but the baby was no more than five months old... Eating ramen wasn't supposed to be in a baby's diet.

"Morning, Haruichi!" Ayame, Teuchi's daughter, said with a bright smile and a slight blush.

The teenager greeted her with a smile and Naruto waved happily before they left to go to the playground. Harry was half plant so he needed to go out at least two times per day while Naruto simply loved being with him and moving around so playground it was.

They arrived in the playground and Harry went to the sandbox where he carefully put Naruto and sat by the baby's side. Making sure that nobody saw it, the wizard made some roots come out of his legs and hid them in the sand where they dug until they found earth. Once his roots were in the earth, Harry let out a sigh of happiness and flopped down while Naruto began to play with the sand and tried to make sandcastles on the former wizard. Not that the latter cared as he was now basking in the sunlight and eating some of the residual Bijuu's chakra that seemed to seep from time to time from Naruto's navel.

Was this what peace felt like?

Harry sighed softly and let the sound of Naruto's laughter lull him while the crickets began to sing around them.

If this was peace, Harry loved it.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Hiruzen frowned and crossed his hands on his desk while he eyed his advisors. While Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura were sitting with straight faces and their eyes decided in front of his desk, Shimura Danzō was standing behind them with arms folded on his chest.

"What is the reason of such a reunion?" Hiruzen inquired while he sipped quietly his cup of lemon tea. Harry had introduced him to that kind of tea and since that day, the Hokage hadn't stopped drinking it. It did wonders whenever something went wrong. Like now.

"We can't trust that Mori no Haruichi," Koharu said sternly. "We know nothing about him."

"Except that he attacked without any reason the Mizukage and killed the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist," Homura added calmly.

Danzō didn't add anything else but his only eye showed that he approved what the two other advisors had said.

"And you are here because Haruichi is taking care of Naruto?" Hiruzen pondered while he took another sip of his tea. He would soon need another one as it seemed that this little reunion wouldn't been as short as he had previously thought.

"Why are we even letting that danger stay next to the boy?" Koharu exclaimed with a frown. "He shouldn't be in Konoha! He isn't one of our shinobis."

"Haruichi isn't a shinobi," the Hokage stated with a shrug. "But if he didn't take care of Naruto, who would?"

Koharu and Homura exchanged a glance and they both shrugged slightly while Danzō coughed politely.

"Well," the latter said calmly. "I could take him with me. Root is always ready to welcome a jinchūriki..."

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes and the two other advisors tensed when they felt the surge of chakra coming from the two former rivals.

"What if Haruichi proved his loyalty to Konoha?" the Third Hokage proposed as if Danzō hadn't said anything.

Nobody commented it and the seconds passed in a heavy silence while Hiruzen and Danzō glared at each other.

"If Mori no Haruichi did pass by the Torture and Information and came out clean," Homura finally piped as he rubbed pensively his chin. "I assume that we all would feel reassured about him..."

"He'd never come out clean," Danzō scoffed and Hiruzen couldn't help but agree. "But I'm curious to know what Inoichi would find in his mind..."

"He'd find nothing at all," the Third Hokage muttered while he kneaded his forehead. He had finished his lemon tea and was already feeling withdrawal... "Inoichi already tried to read his mind the first day we met Haruichi..."

"He's dangerous," Homura said grimly. "Should we execute him?"

"Mori no Haruichi had a civilian status," Hiruzen exclaimed loudly while he hit his desk with his palm. "You can't be saying that you're ready to kill a civilian when the only thing he did was defending himself and raising an orphan!"

"Then make him a shinobi," Koharu added her two cents and everyone froze.

Make Mori no Haruichi a ninja? That teenager wearing disguises all the time and raising the jinchūriki of the infamous Nine Tails?

"Well," Danzō drawled as he chuckled darkly. "He seems ready to be a tokubetsu jonin... If he makes it, I'll take him in my squadron."

"No," Hiruzen shook his head and stood so he could loom over his advisors. "If Mori no Haruichi can pass the genin and jonin tests, he'll go in ANBU. I already know where to put him."

Hearing the finality in his words, the three advisors bowed briefly their heads and left the room. Once he was sure to be alone, Hiruzen called his secretary and ordered lemon tea. A lot of lemon tea.

Now, if only Harry didn't flip when he heard about his incoming tests...

⊂((・x・))⊃

It took them three years before they even contested his presence in Konoha. All in all, Harry was pretty proud of himself.

He had raised Naruto the best he could, giving him ramen whenever the baby did something really good (yes, like one would do with an animal...) and tried to give him a balanced diet. Key word being tried.

Because Naruto had the best puppy eyes in the whole Konoha. Seriously, they were even better than Harry's and that was something as Harry's had succeeded in making THE Uchiha Madara bow. (He had bought a gallon of ice cream that day. Harry still cackled whenever he thought of his mummy's horrified face)

But still, they had come to that.

"Mori no Haruichi," a shinobi wearing a boar mask said as he appeared right in front of the plant boy. "Follow us."

Harry raised a brow and carefully put Naruto in his arms while he eyed the other ninja, a kunoichi this time, who was idly sitting on a shop roof.

"I can't travel on the roofs," Harry said calmly when he saw the Boar mask jump to join the kunoichi.

The woman tsk-ed and threw a kunai. Harry raised a hand and caught it swiftly while he held Naruto in his other arm. The baby cooed happily and the teenager narrowed his eyes.

"Careful," he hissed.

The kunoichi barked a mocking laugh and jumped so she could come in front of the plantlike teen.

"So you're the civilian who adopted the jinchūriki?" she said as her brown eyes twinkled with amusement. "You don't look that strong..."

"Maybe because I'm not," Harry retorted as he shrugged.

If mummy had heard him, he would have had a stroke. What a pity that the old man was already dead.

"Follow us, twig boy!" the kunoichi laughed mockingly before vanishing in a whirlpool of leaves.

Harry sighed and glanced briefly at the masked shinobi.

"Am I forced to follow her?" he inquired as he felt his skin crawl.

It seemed that those three years of peace and inactivity had been enough for his body and core.

Naruto clapped happily and Harry sighed again while roots came out of his back and moved themselves until they formed a bundle on his back. The wizard put the baby in it and, once he was sure that Naruto wouldn't fall, he cracked his articulations and smirked when he felt the Glamor on him shiver and vanish briefly. The shinobi didn't seem that surprised when he saw the normal looking teenager change and become a younger boy, somewhere in his earlier teens, with skin that looked like bark and long hair covered in dark bulbs.

"Haruichi huh?" the masked ninja commented. "That name fits you to a tee..."

"That's what Mummy said before dying," Harry chirped before he vanished with a startling crack.

The ninja blinked slowly behind his mask and gulped when he realised what had just happened.

'That boy can use the Flying Thunder God Jutsu!' he thought with alarm.

The Hokage needed to know it.

⊂((・x・))⊃

"So, what did you want to do with me, Hiruzen?" Harry asked once he apparated in the room where the Hokage was seating with two young males in front of him and a scarred adult between the two youngsters.

"Hello to you too, Harry," Hiruzen sighed before brightening when he caught a glimpse of Naruto's hair. "And to you too, Naruto!"

"Jiji!" the young boy squealed happily.

The shinobi behind the two unknown youngsters shifted slightly and Harry glanced at him briefly before looking once again at the Hokage.

"I don't suppose it's our day of enjoying tea and talking about Naruto's cuteness," Harry stated calmly while he took Naruto out of his bundle of wood and made the roots come back in his back. "Why did you call me here?"

"Coming here with Naruto being unscratched was your test," the elder explained patiently. "Congratulations on passing your genin test, Harry!"

The teenager narrowed his eyes and he scowled when he felt the chakra around him tense. Hiruzen was nervous. Almost like he feared his reaction (mostly because he knew how Harry could be rancorous). If Naruto was going to be like Harry when he reached his teens, Hiruzen needed to brace himself. Konoha wouldn't survive against those two pranksters...

"What?" he simply said as he couldn't grasp what the hell was going on.

"Your test was to get to the Hokage's tower without being touched by Anko's attack and my genjutsus," the masked shinobi appeared suddenly by the Third's side and Harry blinked.

What was with those ninjas that always appeared from nowhere in silence? At least, the wizards made sound when apparating! That wasn't fair!

"And you passed with flying colours," Hiruzen completed sternly. "You didn't go after Anko and used your own powers to make sure that Naruto was safe with you... We could almost say that you passed the test too well."

Harry's scowl deepened.

"What?" he repeated. "What the hel..."

"No curses, Dad!" Naruto chirped from Harry's arms.

The wizard was startled and stopped short from blowing his fuse.

"Thus," Hiruzen added while the teenager tried to regain his bearings. "This is your genin squad, Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Itachi. And don't forget about your teacher, Morino Ibiki."

"What?" Harry was now like a broken disk.

Why was he always saddled with the Uchiha?! It was like a damn curse!

⊂((・x・))⊃

"So this is the last place where he was sighted?" a redhead muttered from the interior of his puppet.

They didn't even have puppets here... Nor a decent hidden village.

But Sasori wasn't worried. Sometimes, you could find diamonds amongst the scoria...

He entered the Hidden Village of the Hot Waters with Hiruko and frowned when he noticed how lax the security was and how many civilians and tourist were there.

"Fucking pathetic shit!"

Sasori raised an intrigued brow and moved Hiruko towards the circle of people that was just in front of a big onsen. That voice had sounded pretty young. And annoyed.

The master puppeteer's aura was enough to fray his way trough the population and Sasori's curiosity only increased when he saw what had caused all that commotion.

It was a young boy, nearing his thirteens maybe, who was wielding a strange scythe with two blades. Also, the teen had traced a strange mark on the ground and was standing his ground against a group of angry men. Amongst those annoyed as hell men, there was one whose neck was heavily bleeding, almost as much as the teen's and Sasori presumed that they both were nearing their death. However, when the man fell dead and the teen continued cussing at the men, the puppeteer felt his curiosity increase tenfolds.

Maybe that undying boy was connected to that strange living puppet?

⊂((・x・))⊃

"You seemed pretty calm during those last three years," Tobi commented as he appeared by Zetsu's side.

The carnivorous shinobi ignored him and continued looking at the tall grass of the land of Grass.

"Making all of those White Zetsu cost us more without Harry being next to us," he finally said.

"Ah... Harry," the Uchiha muttered as he rubbed his chin. "You still haven't explained why he had those..."

"Female appendages," Zetsu cut the chase right there. "They are there so we can produce our offspring. Not that we want to touch that whelp..."

Tobi shivered (be it in disgust or horror) and shook vividly his head.

"But there were just flowers!" he stated while frowning under his orange mask.

"Of course they are flowers," Zetsu said as if he couldn't believe Tobi's stupidity. "What were you expecting? Breasts? We don't have any use of that... And the whelp would have killed Madara-sama if he had given him breasts..."

Tobi sighed, talking about Harry always gave him headaches.

"So," he tried to resume. "Harry isn't a girl?"

"Being a girl doesn't matter... But we were made so producing offsprings would be easier with his help..."

"In term of mammals," Tobi interrupted Zetsu as he had once again been disrupted by strange mental pictures. "Who's the girl and who's the boy?"

Zetsu stayed silent for some minutes and Tobi's jitters didn't end there. He wanted to know what was Harry precisely. Maybe that would help him discover more about the boy/girl's real identity. And powers.

Because even Madara didn't know them fully.

"I'd say," White Zetsu began and was that hesitation in his voice? "Harry has the flowers waiting to be pollinated... Isn't that something along female's impregnation? But this one is the one who bears the offsprings..."

"Isn't that like the seahorses?" Tobi commented idly.

So Harry was genetically female then?

Gods, that was so messed up...

What about a little preview of the insanity that will come in the next chapter?

"What are you doing?"

"It's called 'groping someone's assets'!"

"Why are you doing it?"

"Because Uchiha have the best butts!"

"Don't come closer!"

"Awww... He's shy~"

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