So here I am with another chapter. It's still completely crack. There isn't a plot and I'm pretty much writing garbage. Whatever, it seems to be funny for some people so I'll keep writing.

What else? This story isn't to be taken seriously. Even I don't do it. Everyone is stupid in it too. Also, funny thing is that I wrote a story based on 'Something clearly went wrong' where there is a plot and it's way more serious. Also, Harry isn't there so it helps. But the plot is pretty much the same, funny as it may seem.

Now, let's answer the anons:

Mya Uzo: I like to think that Harry is the more pitiable character in this story and yet doesn't realise it.

Guest: I guess that he's just humouring them. That or he's really a moron.

Annabelle: Actually, the Akatsuki will be way different from canon. Like Hidan being a cute fanboy. Way different.

Mystery Reviewer: Harry is actually the gayest gay having ever gayed. And yes, that sentence didn't make any sense.

Pyrokitty: I know, this story kinds of doesn't make sense. And the plantlike Harry idea came from my ignorant mind when I didn't even know about Naruto's plot. Because, like an idiot, I wrote the first chapters of this story without even having watched or read Naruto... As for Harry's "mates", there will so many that it won't be funny.

Guest: What is a fanfic if you can't change from canon, right? Also, it's a crack story, I'll change way more things. Here, Shisui is one year older than Itachi.

Guest: Never. I'll never update. This isn't a chapter, it's just a long author note.

And that's it. Enjoy this piece of... Whatever this can be.

Thus, Harry was saddled with a pair of Uchiha and a man who was so scarred that sometimes, Harry liked to observe his scars and joint them with a pen like one would do with the stars or moles. But that wasn't what mattered.

No, what mattered was what Hiruzen, that damned fool, had dared tell him.

Until he became a full fledged shinobi of Konoha, Naruto wouldn't live with him.

It was obvious that Harry didn't take the news well. At all.

As did Naruto by the way.

When the little boy, who was soon having his fourth birthday, learned that he was going to live in an orphanage while his "dad" worked his butt off somewhere, the blond terror had showed them that he was indeed the Fourth and the Red Hot Habanero's son. Meaning that he had cried while throwing a tantrum. And destroyed the Hokage's Tower at the same time.

Harry had never been so proud of someone.

But then, Hiruzen had told him that his first mission as a genin was to repair everything. The sigh from the Uchiha pair had been a clear sign of how much of a hassle that was going to be...

The sun wasn't even rising when Harry opened his eyes and grumbled under his breath. He didn't know precisely since when he had last seen Naruto but he was slowly finishing his last reserves of Bijuu's chakra and had resorted on taking the chakra around him to feed his illusion of being a teenager. The wizard sighed and creaked every articulation like he always did and winced when he noticed that his feet had rooted themselves during the night. He made the roots disappears and shivered in disgust at the sensation.

"I need a scythe," he muttered gloomily before glancing at the hitai-ite with the Konoha symbol on it.

Harry gritted his teeth and put the hitai-ite in his pocket before jumping by the window and running in the roofs. The training with Madara was a bit rusty in his head but he was slowly remembering everything about those ninja tricks and Harry liked seeing how his teacher of sorts, a man named Morino Ibiki who seemed to be the head torturer, made a puzzled face every time Harry succeeded on doing something that was supposed to be hard.

Even the two young Uchiha had seemed a bit peeved by the apparent ease that the tree boy showed every time they both had to learn jutsus.

Harry jumped and stopped in the orphanage roof. There, he glanced briefly at the creaked open window and smirked to himself. He then produced a tiny bud on his hand and promptly cut it before throwing through the window.

In the orphanage room, Naruto awoke and blinked wearily before rushing at the window that he had opened the previous night and where vines were slowly growing and setting themselves into a message. Like everyday, the blonde's smile widened and he quickly uprooted the vines before hiding them under his bed with all of Harry's messages.

「You can do it! Show to that brat that you're my son and make sure that he has the worst day ever!」

「Yesterday, I saw a cat almost gouge one of the Uchiha's eyes. I almost peed myself」

「I'm thinking of changing my name... How about Awesomest of Awesome?」

「Thinking of you everyday. I'll try my best today too!」

Naruto smiled softly and went back to his bed. He pushed the tacks that some of the children in the orphanage had put inside it during his sleep and sighed briefly. He really hoped that his father would end those missions and would come back to their dingy apartment.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Harry swiftly appeared by one of the Uchiha's side and scowled briefly when he noticed that the boy didn't flinch anymore at his apparitions. It seemed that he couldn't traumatise him further and make him die from a early heart attack. What a pity.

"Where's the other?" he asked when he noticed that the other Uchiha wasn't there.

"..." the Uchiha's dark eyes looked at him seriously before the boy frowned and pursed briefly his lips. "Itachi had an important family reunion this morning."

"Then why are you here?" Harry tilted his head and almost gritted his teeth when he felt the chakra around him diminish and his body creak.

If he kept moving around like he did and didn't feed from Naruto's residual and bestial chakra, the former wizard would go back to his five years old body. And he didn't want to. At all.

Because, for once, he was taller than his genins comrades. (He wasn't going to call them friends when the only things they said to each others were grunts and some cusses when their teacher couldn't hear them. Or at least, Harry did. The Uchiha were so polite to him that it unnerved him. At lot)

But well, all the Uchiha were like that. Harry sighed heavily and tilted his head, wincing slightly when the bark like skin of his neck creaked loudly, and furrowed his eyebrows.

"So it's just you and me, uh?" he commented lightly while the Uchiha scowled and took a step back. "How nice~ it's just like a date!"

The Uchiha gagged discreetly and Harry huffed. Of course, the brat didn't know what was good for him. The plantlike boy shrugged and glanced around him, looking for their teacher and scowling when he didn't found the scarred man.

What a pity, he had even thought of taking a permanent marker to trace some nice lines on Morino's face.

"Ladies, what a pleasure to see that you're taking your time today," their teacher suddenly came out of nowhere and Harry cocked his head on the other side, his neck cracking once again.

"Hiya, Ibiki," he greeted with a warm smile. His eyes were creased and the Uchiha took another step back. "Grumpy Pants and I were just talking about your absolutely ravaging looks!"

"Shut up, Haruichi," Morino swiftly swatted the back of Harry's head and huffed with contentment when he saw the teenager tumble over the sudden swat.

Uchiha Shisui didn't even react from the sudden attack and Ibiki pondered briefly over the incoming mission. With only the two of them and with the mediator Itachi gone, would they be able to deal with the quirky teen's ways? It was a question of which Ibiki feared the answer. But well, he wouldn't be alone in this shit.

"Ladies," the head of the Torture and Investigation said loudly while he straightened his back. "Because Itachi will be absent for our next mission, I appointed someone else for his place. Please, give her a warm welcome."

Ibiki ended his announcement and glared pointedly at Harry. He was after all the one who was going to give them hell. Like he always did with their missions. It was clear as day that the boy didn't want to be a shinobi. Yet, he was excellent at it, even the genius Itachi couldn't beat him.

"Oh, believe me, I welcome her just right," Harry commented with a smirk while Shisui rolled his eyes.

The Uchiha was slowly getting annoyed with the teen's bullshit, Ibiki noted in his mind and he nodded to himself. Shisui wasn't as famous as Itachi but he still was an incredible genin. And he was also shrewd and extremely observative. All this time, the Uchiha has stayed put whenever Harry had tried to annoy him and Ibiki had observed it with cold eyes. He could see that Shisui was near his breaking point now that the Uchiha heir wasn't there to calm him.

Morino sighed heavily, sometimes he truly wondered why he had accepted the Hokage's demand of watching over the strange boy. And the fake team that he had been given was even worse. Uchiha Itachi and Shisui had both the level of seasoned Chuunin. Or even Tokubetsu Jonins. It was simply ridiculous to give them genin based missions.

But what the Hokage asked, the Hokage got.

He suddenly felt another problem approach him.

"Please to meet you, I'm Mitarashi Anko!" a kunoichi exclaimed happily.

Harry snorted loudly and Ibiki wondered if he could drop out from this nonsensical mission.

"Right back at you, Anko," the boy smiled widely at Anko and Shisui took another step back. (If he kept acting like that, he would soon fall from the roof).

"Well, well," the kunoichi didn't let the teen disturb her facade and she waved at the Uchiha. "Seems like I caught quite the jackpot, you're an Uchiha, right?"

Shisui nodded reluctantly and Harry smirked with mirth while he kept glancing from the kunoichi at his partner.

"Ooooh?" He cooed while a devilish smile tugged at his lips. "What is it that I see~ are you actually acting shy, Shisui-boy?"

The Uchiha frowned heavily and scoffed.

"As if," he retorted before glaring at Ibiki.

The poor man was already considering into an early pension. He hadn't become a ninja to deal with teenager's drama. And Harry's bullshit.

"Ladies!" he barked and was immediately rewarded by three young ninjas straightening their backs and stopping bickering. "I picked the mission this morning and it already began. So get moving!"

The Uchiha and Anko promptly jumped of the roof and Ibiki nodded in appreciation. They were indeed a fine kind of shinobi. Harry on the other side...

"Why aren't you moving!" Ibiki asked with his booming voice.

The teen rolled his eyes and Ibiki could have sworn that they actually turned briefly into two orbs made of leaves. He shuddered, the boy was even stranger than he had thought at the beginning.

"Duh," Harry deadpanned without moving from his spot on the roof. In fact, he hadn't moved from where he had fell from Ibiki's swat. "Why should I when I don't even know the mission?"

Ibiki sighed heavily. Again. If he kept at it like that, by the end of this mission, he'd age a century.

"We must watch over a group of merchants until they get to Kusagakure," the poor head of the Torture and Investigation muttered. He was slowly getting to the same point as Uchiha.

Meanwhile, Harry masterfully hid his smirk. If he was forced to be a shinobi, he didn't see why he shouldn't give hell to his genin squad and teacher. After all, they impeded him from seeing Naruto. And Harry needed to see regularly his son.

He liked his teenager body after all.

"Eeeh?" He drawled with a bored pout. "It sounds like a drag..."

Ibiki's eyes twitched. Harry smirked even more when he saw that his teacher (or whatever the scarred man really was to him) had almost thrown a kunai at him. Seems like he was still the best at annoying prissy ninjas. The wizard beamed at this confirmation and he felt the mag-chakra rumble around him while Morino scowled harshly at him.

"No complains," the teacher barked unhappily. "It's your mission and you're going to do it with a smile, am I understood?"

Harry blinked and slowly stretched his lips into a pleasant smile.

"Yessir," he slurred calmly. "So watch over some merchants, got it."

His green eyes glinted ominously and Morino Ibiki feared for the outcome of their mission.

That boy, Mori no Haruichi, was planning something. And Ibiki was sure that it wasn't going to please him at all.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Uchiha Shisui blinked owlishly and had to take a retake of what was happening around him.

In front of him, there was the caravan of merchants talking excitedly with their children running around and laughing happily.

At his right, Mitarashi Anko, the infamous apprentice of the fugitive Oroshimaru, was chitchatting happily with his mentor, Morino Ibiki, while the latter was scowling unhappily. Shisui could see why, the kunoichi was a bundle of pure energy and from the empty sticks dangling between her spidery fingers, she was probably on a sugar rush. The Uchiha promptly took note that she was to be avoided when she was like that. Her voice was as shrilly as the Anomaly.

And then, at his left, there was that. The Anomaly.

The boy was walking leisurely with some of the merchants' children around him. They were all looking at him with star filled eyes while he simply told then some tales about a mummy with spots that lived in old trees and collected strange things. (Shisui couldn't see why that tale could be so fascinating for those children)

The young Uchiha narrowed his eyes as he felt something akin to curiosity prickle him. The children were now surrounding the Anomaly, all of them.

Suddenly, just as Shisui was considering sharing his suspicions with their squad captain, the Anomaly sharply turned his head towards him and the Uchiha sucked a breath between his gritted teeth when he saw those inhuman green eyes stare at him without blinking. The Anomaly was holding one of the children in his arms, a faint smile tugging at his lips while he coldly stared down at Shisui. The latter felt his heartbeat quicken and he decided to look somewhere else. His cheeks reddened while he considered what had just happened.

Did the Anomaly know that he was suspecting him? Was he now in a dire situation? Would he lose his life by the Anomaly's hands?

Shisui gulped discreetly and carefully slowed his pace until he was walking next to one of the merchants. The man, a big and bulky merchant who was used to his life on the roads, didn't even glance at him and Shisui made sure that he was situated between him and the Anomaly.

The boy's mocking snicker burned through his sensible ears.

Shisui scowled.

⊂((・x・))⊃

'Merlin,' Harry thought as he observed the blushing Uchiha hiding behind a gruff looking man. 'Kid has got a bad case of crush...'

The former wizard grinned happily.

"Well," he drawled while jousting around the kid in his arms. "At least he had a great taste!"

"A great taste!" the kid chirped in his arms before laughing happily.

Harry cooed and blowed some raspberries on his tummy.

⊂((・x・))⊃

As expected whenever one asked for a Harry's help, the mission got worse. Or rather, the merchants got suddenly attacked and the contracted ninjas were asked to protect them. But, as always when it concerned Harry, the plant boy merely blinked and held against his chest one of the children while he eyed critically the men who were attacking them.

They were thieves, wearing masks and weapons while screaming some insults to make them seem more threatening. (Harry yawned loudly as he avoided a knife that almost cut his throat. He had seen way better in threats. Those thieves were almost ridiculous...)

"PLEASE, SAVE ME!" a woman screeched as she was brutally pushed on the dirty ground by one of those inepts.

Harry put the kid that had always been next to him on his shoulders and made a small smile when he felt his body thrum with all the chakra that was flowing around him. The woman's screeches finally receded and he hummed lightly. The young looking plant boy jumped on a branch and observed calmly the massacre.

While the thieves were clearly idiots (who the hell tried to attack a whole caravan in plain day when they could do it at night? See? Idiots), they were still good enough to kill the merchants. Not that Harry cared.

All the children that had played with him the very same day were huddling in one of the chariots, just under his tree, and none of the thieves were approaching it so... Harry didn't see why he should care.

"Haruichi!" Morino Ibiki called him sternly and Harry blinked.

"Yes?" he answered politely while he tilted his head. "Is something the matter?"

Ibiki rolled his eyes and flared his nostrils while he singlehandedly slashed some of the thieves' throats.

"Whatever," the adult muttered loud enough to Harry's ears. "Just make sure to not get between the mission and us."

"Alrighty, then!" Harry beamed happily and he swiftly jumped in the chariot.

The children looked at him with scared eyes and he merely smiled brighter while the kid on his shoulders giggled happily.

"You know what?" he whispered to the kid with a conspirator like smile. "I'm beginning to think that missions are actually kind of fun!"

⊂((・x・))⊃

Of course, it took two hours and a very angry Ibiki to change Harry's mind.

Mostly because, as Ibiki had told him again and again, when one was asked to watch over someone, he was actually asked to protect that very someone with his life.

How boring, right?

"Well," Harry retorted with a childish pout. "They should have worded it differently. How could I have understood it like that? I really thought that I had to watch them suffer and whatnot, you know!"

Ibiki opened his mouth to correct him and frowned, no words coming out. Then, with a really tired and 'I'm so tired of this shit, why is it always me' kind of sigh, he just shook his head and left their room (they had just gotten to some remote village and had booked a room in a hotel) while muttered something about retirement. The jounin sensei had a tired expression on his scarred face and promptly ignored his other students as he exited the hotel. Shisui and Anko glanced at Harry's beaming face and they both looked at each other with slight panick.

'We're all alone with Him,' Anko's eyes conveyed while she smiled tightly at the Uchiha.

'If we ever have to fight against him, I'm not against pushing you towards him,' Shisui's dark eyes retorted calmly.

Anko growled lightly and she tightened her fists while the Uchiha, who was clearly more accustomed to Mori no Haruichi's strange ways, just narrowed his eyes. But that small growl was enough to attract Harry's attention and the boy suddenly jumped between the two ninjas with a wide smile.

"Well, well, well," the genin (who was genin only in name after all his actions during the mission) tutted happily. "I guess that this calls for some team-bonding time, don't you think so?"

Uchiha Shisui, as his name called for, just followed the flow and tilted his head with a dim smile.

"I guess so," he agreed in a murmur. "What are you thinking of?"

Harry widened his eyes, genuinely surprised by the Uchiha's approval. This was the first time that the Uchiha had actually talked to him and not grunted or hn-ed.

"Sweet Merlin," the former wizard exclaimed happily. "There is still hope for you!"

Shisui blinked, not really understanding what the boy was trying to convey with those words and decided to not even try understanding it. Haruichi was strange as it was. Better not get a headache over him.

"Weeeeell," Harry drawled and the two others subtly tensed. They had heard that kind of voice from the boy before.

Or rather, they had heard about the times where he had used it. Mostly whenever he caused chaos and destruction in Konoha. And that time with the Swordsmen from Kiri. Anko cleared her throat loudly and glued a wide smile on her face while she cackled mirthfully.

"I'm in!" she said loudly. "As long as there are dango!"

Harry smiled even more and snickered briefly.

"Believe me," he said oh so sweetly. "There will be. That and okonomiyaki."

Startled, Shisui straightened his back and narrowed his eyes.

"Please, do tell," he said with a tight voice.

Harry's smile widened.

⊂((・x・))⊃

"You know what?" Morino Ibiki muttered as he took in the sights of the recent catastrophe in the normally calm Kusagakure. "I don't even want to know what happened..."

Anko smiled nervously and glanced at her two compagnons. While Shisui was looking every part of the guilty yet professional and stern faced looking shinobi (how the hell had the Uchiha succeeded in doing that, she had no idea...), Harry was looking at the clouds with a happy smile. Sometimes, the kunoichi really wondered why she had agreed in taking the extremely special and secret mission of supervising Konoha's Rogue Shinobi in his first mission out of the Hidden Village. Mostly whenever she caught the boy's green eyes and he smiled at her like he knew everything that she was thinking.

Like now.

Harry smirked at her and his lips creaked a bit when he did that. That was also something that creeped her. Whenever he moved, there always was that strange sound of wood moving. She hated it, it made her think of her former master's ways of moving.

Anko narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. She didn't have to think of Him. She was already suspected enough of treachery. So she decided to listen to Ibiki's mutters and comments on the effects of their team-bonding in Kusagakure.

A hen covered in green flames flew past her nose and Anko snorted loudly before she could even realise it. Ibiki was immediately on her, his dark eyes glaring daggers at her while the poor kunoichi tried to not laugh out loud at the confused looking shinobi covered in glitter.

From what she could remember, it had been Shisui who had had the idea of adding some glitter to their night.

Say what you want, for tight-assed that he could look like, Uchiha Shisui was a bloody genius at pranking people.

"Is there something funny, Anko?" Ibiki growled threateningly.

Anko gulped discreetly and tried to ignore the very prominent vein on the team captain's face as well as the still running hen. That had been one of Harry's ideas. The boy seemed to have some kind of ability to make a fire that couldn't burn. Thus, the flailing hen running around and scaring the all powerful shinobi. Anko snorted as she remembered when they had thrown a batch of glitter at the slumbering shinobi and then set the flaming hens on them. The screams had been the most beautiful thing that she had ever heard. And from the Uchiha's dim smile, it had been the same thing for him.

"No, sir!" Anko answered promptly while she fought to stop the laughter bubbling in her chest.

Yet, when she saw the stern looking Ibiki's pink Mohawk, she couldn't repress it further and exploded in a loud laughter, rolling on the floor while cackling hysterically. Shisui's lips quivered slightly and he immediately covered his face with a shaky hand while he faked a cough.

Harry was less polite and laughed loudly in front of Ibiki, pointing at the shinobi's new hairstyle while the children from the merchants' caravan came over him and looked with innocent eyes at the flashy pink Mohawk.

"It's so pretty!" one of them said with a beaming grin.

"Yes, it is!" Harry agreed happily while he took the kid in his arms. "And it's permanent too! Isn't that great!"

Ibiki growled ominously and closed his eyes.

'Don't kill him,' he reminded himself. 'It would be nothing and there will be too much paperwork. Don't do it, Ibiki.'

"But who would have thought that pink was your colour," Harry coyly added.

That was enough to make Ibiki snap.

⊂((・x・))⊃

Two months had already passed since they had been forced into this strange alliance. And, really, it was strange.

A zealot that only wanted to convert or kill whoever crossed his path. And a puppet-man. Yet, they strangely worked well together. Mostly because Sasori didn't really listen to Hidan's endless rants about his god and because the zealot could understand the puppet's interest in the only thing that tied them. Since then, they had traveled together, avoiding the Fire Country and killing pretty much everyone that crossed their ways.

"You seem happy," Sasori dryly commented as he observed from the corner of his wooden eyes Hidan's smirking face.

"You bet I fucking am," the zealot retorted loudly as he rotated lazily his scythe. "I'm getting closer and closer to my master!"

"Master," the redhead stated plainly. He stopped talking and glanced at the smoke that he could see somewhere faraway. "We're getting closer to Kusagakure."

"Good," Hidan smirked even more. "I didn't offer any of those idiots to Jashin today."

Sasori didn't comment on that.

⊂((・x・))⊃

You know that thing about worrying over his team's communication and trust? Ibiki was ready to take it back. He really wished to go back to those days where the worst that he could hope for was to see Shisui try to strangle Harry with his bare hands.

Really, now that his team had had their little escapade in the streets of Kusagakure, Ibiki kind of feared what would happen when they would go back to Konoha.

Yes, they were that bad when they worked together. (And he really feared the day where Itachi would join them...)

"Alright, ladies," Ibiki sighed heavily as he barged into the genin's room. They were all there, sitting quietly.

Something wasn't right with that sentence. Those little devils couldn't sit quietly. They just couldn't now that they had tasted the pure madness that was Harry's mischievousness. (No, Ibiki wasn't exaggerating.)

"It's time to go home," he added with a stern voice (mostly because he had seen Harry yawning). The boy blinked in surprise and tried to conceal it. "The merchants have finished their deals and want to go back to Konoha. So, this time, guard them from whatever threat that comes our way. Is that clear?"

"Crystal clear!" Harry chirped happily and Ibiki facepalmed while muttered grimly about an early retirement to the Village of Hot Waters.

"That's too bad," Anko said once their instructor left the room. "I'll miss this."

She glanced around her, noticing all the little reminders of all their heists and pranks and giggled softly. It had been fun.

A lot of fun.

"Well," Harry drawled while he put an arm around both of his teammates' necks. "We can always do that every time we to in a mission outside of Konoha..."

"If there is okonomiyaki," Shisui whispered wistfully.

"I don't see why not," the other boy retorted while grinning brightly.

"It's a deal, then!" Anko hugged the two boys and nodded vividly. "Whenever we are on the same mission, we'll prank the hell out of whoever is with us!"

"Deal!" Harry said loudly.

"... deal," Shisui nodded softly.

They didn't know it but that promise would seal Konoha's future.

Not that Harry cared about it, honestly.

⊂((・x・))⊃

When they came back home, it was a tight lipped Itachi who greeted them back. Shisui went to meet his cousin with a small frown while Harry stayed with the merchants' children, saying his goodbyes with a lot of waves and big smiles. Yet, the child who had always been around him during the whole mission didn't leave his arms.

Anko had already left, saying that she had other obligations to do before giving her report and they had parted ways at the village's doors.

"Itachi," Shisui greeted calmly.

"Shisui," the Uchiha's heir retorted quietly with a small nod. "How was your mission?"

"Strangely pleasing," the other answered honestly before straightening his back and schooling his features into an emotionless mask. "What is it?"

"I have bad news," Itachi announced grimly. His eyes flickered briefly to Harry's lithe frame and Shisui tensed.

"What?" he said between his gritted teeth. He didn't want the green eyed boy to hear them.

Itachi just shook his head and glanced at Harry. The latter seemed to notice it because he suddenly stopped talking to the children and walked towards the two Uchiha.

"Hey, if it isn't Mummy's wannabe!" he greeted with a wide smile.

Itachi blinked and glanced at his cousin. Shisui just shrugged and the heir sighed softly.

"I have a message from the Hokage," he said calmly.

"Merlin, he can talk!" Harry gasped fakery while the child in his arms giggled happily.

Itachi looked briefly at the kid, noticing those bright eyes as well as the dark and ruffled hair. He looked like pretty much every kid in the street, without any distinctive feature.

"He has something to tell you," Itachi added.

Harry suddenly stopped smiling and cocked his head.

"I know," he said with a cold voice.

The two Uchiha shivered.

"It concerns Naruto, right?" Harry added lightly. "He disappeared or was kidnapped, right?"

Itachi didn't answer and the former wizard snorted softly.

"I'm always right," he huffed lightly before vanishing in a startling crack. "Tell him, Shisui!"

The said Uchiha cleared his throat once the plantlike boy vanished and looked at his cousin.

"Sooo," he drawled quietly. "Anything else to say?"

Itachi blinked.

"He calls you by your name," he stated calmly.

"Yes," Shisui nodded while he licked nervously his lips. "We kind of became friends..."

"I see," Itachi drawled quietly. "I'd have liked to see that..."

"Maybe on the next mission," Shisui grinned.

"I hope not."

⊂((・x・))⊃

"Come on, Ibiki, aren't you exaggerating it a bit?" Sarutobi Hiruzen tried to convince his best jounin to see the light.

Yet it seemed pretty much impossible.

"No," the poor man was looking ravaged and had bloodshot eyes as well as a telltale shivering that only deeply traumatised people had. And a pink Mohawk. "I'm sorry, Hokage, but I resign from my post. I don't want anything else to do with those monsters..."

"I always can..." Danzō commented with a light cough.

"Not now, Danzō," Hiruzen cut him rather rudely before grunting softly. "Can you at least report what happened during that mission?"

Ibiki's eyes became glassy and he shuddered.

"It was hell, Hokage, hell," he muttered darkly. "I've seen things, things that could make a sane man shudder before, things that didn't even make me blink. Yet..." Ibiki stopped talking and gulped loudly. "Those things... Those blazing hens flying around me, that glitter in the night... I can't, Hokage, I just can't..."

"I see," the Hokage interlaced his fingers before he leaned his chin on them and closed his eyes. He just couldn't figure what could have happened to make the brilliant Ibiki snap like that.

"But that was just the beginning," Ibiki giggled madly and passed his hand on his face. "On the travel back... The things they did... God, the things they did..."

Danzō cleared his throat loudly and, once he had everyone's attention, raised his hand.

"I could always take his team," he proposed.

Ibiki downright cackled at him.

"Do it if you want, you wouldn't last a day," he told him.

"So, no more Anko with Harry, I guess?" Hiruzen resumed calmly.

Ibiki's shudder was enough to answer him.

⊂((・dx・))⊃

Danzō actually lasted two days and four hours. But the fourth hour doesn't really matter because he was pretty much unconscious when it passed. (Thanks to one pissed off Harry who decided that he wanted to see if old shinobi were able to fly if one was to push them from a cliff. The answer is still no)

Thus, because the Hokage really didn't want to deal anymore wi Harry's problematic team, it was decided that they didn't need a teacher (because they were all genius in their genius-like way) and were promptly pushed towards the Chuunin exams.

"This..." Itachi drawled when the first days of the exam was around the corner and they were announced that they had to travel to Suna to pass it there. "Wasn't planned at all. Do we even have what is required for it?"

"Meh," Harry shrugged. "Even if we don't, the Hokage still owes me a favour so it's okay."

"A favour?" Itachi repeated with a small frown. He had slowly gotten to the point where he didn't contest Harry's strange ways and the boy wouldn't try to annoy him (voluntarily).

"Yeah," the boy nodded with a smile. "Remember that mission in Kusagakure? Seems like they didn't watch enough over Naruto and he escaped from Konoha during the whole mission. So he owes me. I could have gotten really mad, you know?"

"Hn," Itachi nodded.

He could understand it.

"So Suna, uh?" Harry commented as if they hadn't been discussing over how he could have destroyed Konoha. "Strangely enough, I planned to go there before I met Naruto... Funny how small the world can be..."

"Hn," Itachi said noncommittally.

Shisui was still in the Uchiha compound and they were waiting for him at Konoha's doors before they left the village for their Chuunin exams. Thus, waiting it was.

"Harry?" a familiar female voice called and the boy smiled brightly at the kunoichi.

"Anko!" he exclaimed loudly before jumping in her arms. "I missed you! And your dangos!"

The kunoichi laughed and patted the plantlike boy (who hadn't changed at all since their mission, strangely enough).

"It's good that I got to see you just before you leave," she said happily. "I wanted to give you a goodluck charm."

"Awww," Harry cooed while he hugged her even more. "That's too nice of you! Remember to watch over Naruto."

"Of course," Anko shrugged. "I still have to make him realise that dango is way better than ramen!"

"True, true," Harry nodded while Itachi cocked his head.

He could smell the godly smell of dango and could also feel his mouth water at the delicious smell. This was torture.

"Hello!" Anko suddenly exclaimed as she jumped on the Uchiha's heir. And proceeded on groping rather forcefully his butt.

Itachi immediately froze and it took him some seconds to restart his brain.

"What are you doing?" he hissed icily at the kunoichi who was still fondling happily his bottom.

"It's called 'groping someone's assets'," Harry added his two cents happily just before he put his face just in front of Itachi's slowly blushing one. "So, is it pleasing? Uncomfortable? Anko has the best technique, you know!"

"Why are you doing it?!" Itachi said coldly while he tried to get out of Anko's hold. Yet it seemed to be impossible as the girl's hands were pretty much glued to his bottom.

"Because Uchiha have the best butts!" Harry, once again, explained everything. "Like, for all the Uchiha that I've met, they all had booties to die for! Except for one mummy but that doesn't matter..." He shuddered and his face turned green.

Seems like those words had triggered bad memories.

But Itachi didn't really care about that as he was still being groped by a girl. Seriously, this was beginning to get uncomfortable. And really embarrassing.

"Awwww..." Anko cooed happily. "He's shy~"

And suddenly, Uchiha Itachi understood why Morino Ibiki had resigned from his teaching post.

It was just impossible to deal with Harry whenever Anko was around.

So... Where was really Naruto during Harry's mission?

By the next chapter, we'll see chibi Gaara, the Chuunin catastrophe, Itachi's OOC and a lot of atrocious things. You can always review, I like those things.

Also, I almost forgot to tell you this: As I writing a lot of fanfictions at the moment, sometimes I don't know which fanfiction update first. So I'm going to put a poll on my author page and you just have to vote there, ok? The anons just have to tell it in the reviews. That's all for tonight.