A/N OKAY I know, I know, I know I was supposed to update like a million years ago. I've had so much schoolwork lately and between that and other things I honestly just haven't had the time so please don't hate me :) Now, moving on from that, I really appreciate feedback but I noticed I'm only getting like 3 or 4 reviews per chapter so I'm going to need just a smiiiddgeee more than that. So if you read this story (and I know there are a relatively largish amount of you who do) then pleasee review, or I'll cry. And then I won't update and that won't be good. Also I've added a little Eggy into this chapter (I hate their ship name because it sounds like a breakfast meal for toddlers but they're cute together) just because I'm a good person.
Get ready for some major Fax within the next couple chapters ;)
Max's POV
Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep.
Ugh, what the hell is that noise? I thought my alarm clock made a different sound? Is it time for school already? Last time I checked it was Friday night.
Why can't I move? Can I even open my eyes? I don't remember anything...
Suddenly I'm choking, what the hell is down my throat? I still can't open my eyes.
"Help! Help! Someone get in here!" I hear... Ella? My sister, now I remember... Ella's my sister. Why is Ella calling for help?
I hear several muffled voices and soon whatever was down my throat is gone and I'm coughing, shit, my ribs hurt like hell.
"Wh-wha" I try to speak but can't seem to remember how, my tongue feels like lead.
"Shh Max it's okay, just calm down" I hear Ella's voice next to me, she's stroking my hair.
I force myself to slowly open my eyes, inch by inch and soon I'm blinded by a bright white light. Am I dying? Or am I already dead?
My eyes are watering but I can finally distinguish shapes and lines as apposed to the blinding white I had been looking at. I'm looking up at ceiling tiles with long rectangular lights in each panel.
"Ella? W-what's going on?" for some reason, I can't seem to keep my voice steady.
"Max, you were in a car accident, you're in the hospital. You've been asleep for six days, it's Wednesday. They were afraid you wouldn't wake up" I hear Ella sniffle beside me as I continue to stare up at the ceiling.
"Don't cry Ella I... um, I'm here" I'm having a really hard time speaking.
"Can, can I have some water?" I croak out, my throat is as dry as sandpaper.
"Sure" Ella tilts my head up and lightly presses a cup to my lips, I gulp down a few sips of water and then find myself incredibly tired.
"She's awake?" I hear a boy's voice come from somewhere within the room, "Yeah, I'm gonna go get my mom so you should stay with her. She just woke up so call the nurses if anything goes wrong" Ella's shaky voice replies to the boy.
I can hear the opening and closing of doors and soon I feel a familiar presence beside me, I smell laundry detergent and spearmint.
"Fang?" I ask, trying to move my head to look at him.
"Hey Maxie, don't try and sit up by yourself. Let me help you" his voice is soothing, but I can hear the fear in it, something's wrong.
Fang put's his arms around me and slowly helps me lean up against my bed so that I'm sitting up.
I look at the room around me, The walls are a light yellow colour and there's a large open window on one side of the room. I look down and see my favourite blanket draped across my legs.
It's my old dark blue quilt my mom had made for me when I was younger. I used to be able to wrap it around my entire body and cocoon myself but as I grew older it felt like my blanket got smaller, I just got bigger.
On my right is a small table with flowers and various cards from different people and on my left, was Fang.
I smiled, I hadn't even noticed I was crying until I looked at him.
"What happened to me?" I sniffled, a pain expression made it's way across Fang's face as he took my left hand in both of his, "You got into a car accident Max. You were drunk" Fang choked out.
I could practically feel my eyes bulge out of my head, "Did I hurt anyone?" I asked Fang, I couldn't live with myself if I'd taken someone's life.
"Max... you ran head on into a pickup truck, the driver only received minor injuries but you... oh god Max I was so worried, we were all worried. They didn't think you'd make it but, I knew you would. And you did" Fang gave me a sad smile.
I open my mouth to speak but my throat is dry again, I want to cry but I can't. This is all my fault, I got behind the wheel when I was drunk, I'm the reason I almost died.
Who knows? I could be dying right now and everyone's just too afraid to tell me.
"I'm sorry." I finally manage to say, although I can barely look at Fang's face when I say it.
"Sorry? Max what do you have to be sorry about-" I cut Fang off, "I'm sorry because this is all my fault. I'm the reason you and Ella and everyone else have probably been worried sick for the past six days. I'm sorry because I could've killed someone".
"Max, I could've stopped you from getting into your car, if I had just tried harder you'd be okay right now" Fang's hair has fallen into his eyes, but I don't see him make any attempt to move it out of the way.
"No. Fang's that's... What's the word? Um.. anyways. That's total crap. You tried to take my keys away, I remember that much. If I hand't been so stupid and dealt with my problems by drinking I could've prevented all of this. Don't you dare blame yourself" I warn him, gripping hid hand tighter so he'll look up at me.
I try to move my right hand to push my hair out of my face but then notice there's an IV in my arm and my fingers are bandaged up.
"Can you tell me what's wrong with me? I-I mean... what... am I dying?" I ask pleadingly.
"No Max you're not dying you jus-" Fang is cut off when my mother rushes through the doors.
"My baby" my mom cries as she rushes to my bedside and cradles my head in her arms, my mom isn't even trying to hide the fact that she's bawling her eyes out. I hate seeing her this way because it's my fault.
I hate that I did this to everyone I care about.
A couple hours after I wake up my mom and my doctor sit down with me and get me up to speed on what whas going on. Everything went by in a blur, this still felt like a dream to me.
They said I needed surgery to repair the nerve damage in my fingers or I might never be able to use them again. And that I'm going to have a hard time remembering simple things, which explains why I could barely remember my own sister's name just a couple hours earlier.
I felt broken, like a china doll that had just been carelessly thrown aside and forgotten, but I know this is all my fault.
Before I knew it, I was sitting in my hospital bed waiting to be taken to surgery. If this didn't work, I'd never be able to play the piano, or play guitar. I'd have to learn how to write with my left hand.
I was scared and I knew better than to try and deny that at this point. Throughout the day, different people had come to visit me, Iggy, Nudge, Angel and Gazzy, Lissa, even Dylan whom Fang seemed reluctant to leave alone in a room with me.
Fang and Dylan both felt like what happened was their fault, everyone keeps blaming themselves but I think it's just because they don't want me to feel bad, they don't want me to think that I did this to myself. But I did and I guess in a way, that's sort of better than being oblivious to the truth.
I'd made my mom and Ella go home and get some rest, they wanted to be here when I got taken away to surgery but I insisted that they leave, I have Fang and that's enough.
"You know, were both going to have a hell of a lot of school work to catch up on when you go back" Fang chuckled, "You haven't been to school since my accident? Seriously?" I ask Fang.
"Would you have left me?" Fang asks, raising an eyebrow. I look down at my lap sheepishly, "No..." I grumble.
"Max, there's something I need to talk to you about and, I don't want to upset you. You've been through so much so if I'm out of line just tell me to shut up but... the night you got into your accident, Dylan came to check on you. He said that you were drinking because of me. Because you were in love with me but I was with Lissa" I think that's the most Fag's ever spoken at one time in his entire life.
"Fang I-"
"Alright Max, it's time for your surgery. Are you ready?" my doctor cuts in as he walks through the door, walking towards my hospital bed surrounded by various different nurses in green scrubs.
"I guess" no. I'm not ready at all. As they unlock the wheels on my bed I reach out and grab Fang's head, "I'm scared" I whisper, my eyes glistening with tears. Jesus Christ. I've never felt to weak.
At first, Fang doesn't say anything and I can feel one of the nurses stick a needle into my arm, probably a sedative.
I start to feel sleepy and I see Fang's eyebrows furrow, instead of trying to comfort me or tell me not to be afraid he utters three simple words. Three simple words and suddenly I'm not so afraid.
"I love you" Fang kisses my hand and then gently sets it back down on the bed beside me.
"I-" I start to say but then realize that I'm too wonked out on drugs to talk anymore, I just want to go to sleep, and a couple seconds later, I get my wish.
Ella's POV
I rush out of my sisters room at the hospital, I couldn't look at her face anymore. She was so confused, she looked so helpless I just... I needed to get out of there.
I run down the hallway, wiping at my eyes and not paying attention to where I'm going when suddenly I run into a wall, a living, breathing, red-headed wall.
"Oh um... hi Iggy" I sniffle and wipe at my eyes again, I don't want him to see me cry anymore, he'd already had to deal with that this week.
Iggy doesn't say anything, he just wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest. I lean my head on his shoulder and he rests his chin on the top of my head.
This only makes me sob harder, which makes Iggy wrap his arms around me even tighter. Before I know it I've uncurled my hands from his chest and wrapped them around his torso.
"I-I'm sorry" I burst out in between sobs, "You have nothing to be sorry for Ells" Iggy whispers softly into my ear. He strokes my hair and we stay like that, for who knows how long, just standing in the hallway with our arms wrapped around each other.
Eventually I run out of tears and I'm just standing there sniffling. I pull away from Iggy and he reaches a hand up to to cheek.
I close my eyes and hold his hand "Iggy I-" but I can't even finish my train of thought, because then Iggy kisses me and suddenly everything feels like it'll be alright.
Iggy and I have always had a thing for each other I guess, but it never really turned into much of anything. Everyone else knew it too, and we would never really admit it even though we knew it was true. But right now, I knew that everything would change.
When we pull apart we smile at each other, "I wasn't sure if I got my timing right but clearly I did" Iggy chuckles and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Yeah, I guess you did" I whisper.
I feel his hand grasp mine, "Ella... you know I like you right?" he asks me with a sheepish look on his face.
"You like me?" I reply sarcastically, I guess I got that from Max.
Iggy just chuckles, "You're definitely Max's sister". We start walking down the hallway back towards the waiting room.
"Listen, I know now might not be the greatest time to ask you this but... Ella I'm sick of us pretending like we don't have something." Iggy chokes out.
"And?" I ask, raising my eyebrows, he wasn't getting off that easy.
"Will you do me the great honour of being my girlfriend?" Iggy asks me while rolling his eyes.
"I'll think about it" I say.
Iggy just laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder, I swear this hospital has the AC cranked up as high as it'll go, it's winter for god's sake.
Fang's POV
"Hey Maxie" I smile as I walk into her hospital room, there's a fresh set of bandages on her right hand from her surgery.
"Hey Fangy" Max replies, smiling back at me. Max asked her mom not to let me in until I'd gone home and gotten some sleep, so I haven't seen her in a day, since she was wheeled off for surgery.
She was wearing a light blue hospital gown and her cheeks were slightly pink, she looked like she was getting better. Her hair was a tangled mess but I didn't care.
I 've loved her at her best and even at her worst I still think she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
"Fang? You're staring" Max says, chuckling, "I know I look like crap but it can't be that bad, can it?" she asks me.
"What? No Max, you look beautiful" I say, sitting down next to her. I take a deep breath, I know we need to talk about us, about everything I said before her surgery. But right now I just want to sit here with her.
It's going to be a long time before things go back to normal, before Max is healed and she's back at school. But I know she can do it, she's the strongest person I know.
"Fang"
"Max"
We both say each others names at the exact same time.
"Before I went into surgery you um... you said some things and I just, I-" Max stops talking, I know she's been having a hard time remembering things.
"Max, it's okay, just take it slow. I know it's hard but you'll get there." I say reassuringly, taking her hand.
"Fang, you said Dylan told you I was drinking because of you. He was right but... it wasn't your fault okay? I didn't have to drink and I don't want you thinking that any of this is because of you. I could've dealt with all my shit in a different way but I didn't" Max said.
I could tell she wasn't done, so I just stayed silent.
"And, before I went into surgery you said you loved me" Max looked up at me, waiting for a response.
"Yes" I simply said.
"I'm scared alright? I spent so long feeling like crap because I thought you loved Lissa, so long wishing that you were with me instead and now that I can be... I mean... if you still want me, I don't know what to do. I'm afriad I'll mess things up, I'm afraid that I-that I'll-" I can see tears making their way to her eyes.
"Max I-" she cuts me off, "No Fang. I'm afraid I'll lose you. Just like I lost Sam but-but worse. What if, what if things don't work out between us? What if they don't work out and then were just not in each others lives anymore? I couldn't go through that Fang. I can't lose another person I care about."
Tears are pouring out of Max's eyes, I just want to kiss her and make everything better. I know I'm only in my junior year of high school but I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
And no, I'm not about to ask her to marry me or anything ridiculous like that but I do know that I can't let her go, not again.
"Max, listen to me. I love you. I've loved you for so long, I loved you when we were five years old but was too young to realize it. I know you're scared and I know that what happened with Sam is always going to stay with you. But I'm not Sam. Okay? I'm not him, Max I don't care what happens, no matter what happens between us, I don't care. You are never going to get rid of me okay? You're stuck with me, I'll always be here." I take in a breath and lean my forehead against hers.
"You need to let me break down your walls" I say, lifting a hand up to her cheek.
"Go for it" Max said.
And then I was doing what I'd wanted to do for so long, I was kissing her. I was holding her like if I let go I'd lose her.
We were pulling each other as close as we could, I could feel Max's left hand getting tangled in my hair.
This would be a whole lot more romantic if Max wasn't wrapped up in a million bandages.
When we let go, tears are still running down Max's cheeks, "What'd I do?" I ask, afraid I'd hurt her.
"Nothing" Max says.
"But you're cryi-"
"I love you, you big idiot" Max says cutting me off.
I'll never get tired of hearing her say that.