Um. . . more stuff?

*dodges tomatoes*

I'M SORRY!

*dodges oranges*

REALLY! I'M SERIOUS! I'M ACTUALLY SORRY!

*pause*

*dodges a banana*

Okay. I guess I deserved that. Still, really? With the fruit, and the throwing, and the stuff?

*dodges Oreo*

. . . Let's just move on, shall we?

Disclaimer: Not mine, pals. No la mia, mis amigos. Spanish. Yeah.

Read, please!

*dodges the farm*

I SAID I WAS SORRY, OKAY?!

Winry (Oh dear Lordy, we're all gonna die. . .)

Ed. . . Ed. . . Ed. . .

He's gone. I know he's gone. I can feel it. His absence, his loss. It's tangible, and I know that he'd gone.

It's been months. If he was okay, if he was fine, if he was alive, he would come back. He wouldn't just leave us like this. I know he wouldn't. I know him better than that. At least, I thought I did.

But. . . he's too stubborn to just die. I do know him well enough to know how damn stubborn he can be, and he wouldn't just give in to death. He wouldn't just leave Central and let his bloodied clothes turn up in the South, or the West, or wherever the hell they showed up, without a fight. Something is missing in this equation.

A threat to his life? No, he wouldn't care if it was someone threatening to hurt him. He'd either beat them up or make them swear to leave his friends alone before beating them to bloody pul-

Oh. Oh. Oh.

So that's what I was missing. I see.

It's a threat to Al, or to me, or to Granny, or even to other defenseless friends of Ed's. That could be it. No, that has to be it. What else could it possibly be?

Now that this has occurred to me, a whole new realm of possibilities open up. He was. . . taken hostage? Yeah! And told that if he didn't cooperate, one of his friends or even his brother would be killed! That could be it. . .

Or he was told to fake his own death, and if he tried to reveal that plot, Al would be slaughtered. . . Al, or Granny, or even me. . .

I have to be on guard, then. If I see anyone watching me, it means I'm right. If not. . . well, maybe they were only threatening Al. Al would be enough to get Ed to do pretty much anything, even fake his own death!

If I was wrong, though. . . No. I wasn't wrong. Ed could come back to us. Ed would come back to us. Ed would come back to me. . . and Al, and Granny, and everybody. He would.

If he didn't, I would find him myself and smash his head in with a wrench. Multiple times. Until he wished he was dead.

Then I'd hug the ever-loving crap out of him until he nearly died a second time.

Then I'd hit him with the wrench again. (What can I say? It's therapeutic. Besides, it's Ed. Nothing that hits his head does any damage. Sometimes it seems like his head is harder than his automail!)

I stand up and head into the kitchen, towards the phone. I dial Miss Riza's number.

"Hello, who is this?"

"Hi Miss Riza."

"Winry? Is that you?"

"Yes. Listen, I have a theory. . . about Ed's disappearance."

A pause on the other end of the line. Then, in a sharper tone, "Please continue, Winry."

I was slightly surprised, so I stuttered slightly as I responded. "R-right. Um, I think that if Ed isn't. . . you know. . . dead, the only possibility is that his friends and family are being threatened."

"Really?" I could hear the shadow of doubt in Miss Riza's voice.

"Yes. A threat on his life wouldn't do much, but threaten his friends and Ed turns into someone completely different. You must know how far he'd go to protect Al."

". . . Of course. Everyone at headquarters knows. Scratch that, most of the country- ah. I see."

"Exactly." I took a deep breath. "Everyone in the country has heard of the Elric brothers. They know how fiercely protective the Fullmetal Alchemist is. Besides that, they know how far he'll go to protect people he's never met. It's not hard to figure out that he'd probably do anything for his friends. And if that meant running away and pretending to be dead-"

"He'd do it." Miss Riza sighed wearily. "It's an excellent theory, and I think you're probably right, but that doesn't get us any closer to finding him."

"Well, maybe just make everyone who knows Ed personally, and who Ed cares about, keep an eye out for suspicious characters. Even you and Mr. Mustang's team. Everyone. Especially Al. I'll keep watch here for Granny and I, and when I go to Rush Valley, I'll stay vigilant. How's that for a plan? If we eliminate the threat to our lives, maybe. . ." I swallowed back tears, choking on my next words. ". . . M-maybe Ed will come b-back."

I could almost see Miss Riza nodding in agreement. "You're right, Winry. I'll inform the Colonel of your insight. Is that all right?"

"Yes, Miss Riza. Thank you."

"It's not a problem. Thank you for sharing this with me." I could hear the hint of a smile in her next words. "Goodbye, Winry."

"Goodbye, Miss Riza."

I hung up the phone and had to grab onto the table to avoid collapsing on my shaking legs. Choked laughter forced it's way out of my throat, sounding twisted and mangled, but musical and melodic to my befuddled brain.

Maybe. . . Maybe Ed will be able to come home at last.

A smile tugged at the sides of my mouth as I straightened up. On my way out of the room, I glanced at the cork board that Granny had covered in pictures of Ed, Al, and I as children. Three innocent, laughing faces stared back.

With a slight shock, I realized that I hardly recognized them.

Disturbed, I left the room holding my past self and the past selves of my friends and climbed the stairs to my study. I pulled out a certain set of blueprints and got to work. No doubt by the time Ed returned, he'd need new automail.

I'd be ready for him no matter what.

End of Chapter 3

YES! FINALLY! I DID IT AT LAST!

*random epic moment music and confetti raining down*

*waves hand in elegantly modest gesture of acceptance* Yes, thank you, thank you, I do appreciate that.

Random audience member (RAM): *throws rotten cabbage at me*

Me: *stares in horror at the rotted remains of my favorite veggie* Dead cabbage? That's just cruel!

RAM: We're still pissed off at you!

Audience: *mumbles agreement*

Me: *nervous laugh* Well, I did it now! So. . . less pissed off please?

Audience: *launches cow at me w/ catapult*

Me: *dodges cow* Okay, I'm calling a halt to this! That was a Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail reference right there! BLASPHEMY!

Audience: *(please read with an awful fake French accent) farts in my general direction*

Me: . . . Okay, I'm calling the reference cops on you lot.

Audience: *launches huge, hollow wooden rabbit at me w/ catapult*

Me: . . . I have discovered that my quest is hopeless. Oh well. . .

The word of the day is ZAIBATSU! It's something Japanese, so don't look at me! Why this is the word of the day on Merriam-Webster, I have no idea. People are strange. Maybe they wanted to establish good relations with their Japanese counterparts? *shrug* Go figure. *snort* Grown-up people, am I right?

Love ya! lulu

P.S. Sorry for the super long A/N! I had stuff to say to peeps. . . Yeah.