Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit
Bilbo knew it was real. He also knew Thorin was trying his best to help. Bilbo just wished Thorin would stop trying to help. He wanted to be left alone. He wanted to forget. He wanted to leave fear behind. But every time Thorin looked at him, trying to reassure him, Bilbo only saw pain. Bilbo didn't want to cause Thorin pain. He was trying his hardest to make things to go back to normal but every time anyone came too near him he would wince terribly. Whenever they tried to put their hand on his shoulder to reassure him he would flinch so much they would rescind with fearful looks. Bilbo walked at the back of the pack with Kili and Fili usually, trying to avoid Thorin as much as he could. Somehow, the kind's never ending attempts to make Bilbo feel better only made it worse. Kili and Fili acted normally around him and it felt so much better than the others who walked on unseen eggshells around him. They no longer tried to get Bilbo away from the rest of the group but they chatted with him casually. They no longer gave him friendly hair ruffles or ear tweaks but they were normal and for that Bilbo was eternally thankful. Sleeping became a distant memory; the nightmares would wake him if he ever got to sleep. He stayed safely tucked between Kili and Fili for a long time, trying to feel better, trying to act like he was okay.
"You trust us Uncle, yes?" Fili asked looking curiously at Bilbo.
"Yes." Bilbo said suspiciously.
"If you ever want to talk to us about anything, we are here for you." Kili said solemnly.
"I try to pretend it never happened." Bilbo said looking at the dirt ground ahead of them.
"The nightmares that wake you in the middle of the night indicate that that is not working." Fili said.
"It hurts." Bilbo said. He hadn't meant to say it. It just slipped out. He was unaware that there were tears leaking out of his eyes followed by words he hadn't know he was holding in. "I want to be held. I want someone to hold me in their arms and make me feel better but I'm too scared. I'm too scared that the arms will turn into scarred pale arms and I'll wake up back in that horrible place." Bilbo muttered.
"Oh uncle." Fili's face looked so pained and broken. It mirrored that of his brother's.
"Bilbo." Thorin's voice cracked as he very slowly and hesitantly gathered Bilbo into his arms. "I'll never let that happen. You're safe."
"I'm so sorry!" Bilbo sobbed desperately onto Thorin's shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice was so broken and scared.
"It was never your fault." Kili said as tears welled up in his own eyes.
"We love you." Fili said as tears dripped off his nose.
"We will never stop loving you Uncle." Kili said.
"We will never let anything happen to you ever again." Thorin vowed. Bilbo sobbed endlessly.