I'm the only person who's ever going to love you, Peyton

Her eyes flew open, her hand pressed up against her pounding heart. A week off of school, a week away from him, and she was still having the same nightmare.

Over, and over, and over again.

"Peyton?"

Nathan raised an eye brow, lowering the book that had previously been occupying his attention. He stood up, only to drop down beside her on the bed. He still had twenty minutes, at least, before Brooke came to stay with her.

They were in a rotating shift, it had taken forever and a day to convince Lucas that they were all in it together, that he wasn't the only one who was trying to protect Peyton.

"You okay?" He asked, resting a hand on her shoulder. A doctor had prescribed her a medication for her pain, but it knocked her out for a few hours at a time. She couldn't take it again for another good two hours.

"Fine." Peyton replied shortly.

She was tired, and sore, and she felt like a kid for having a babysitter every second of every day. Haley was there in the morning, making her breakfast, Karen and Deb popped in during the day while the others were at school. Lucas had skipped practice three times that week to spend time with her, Nathan was coming in after practice, pretending to do homework while he played bodyguard, and Brooke stayed with her every single night.

"Peyton." Nathan laughed quietly and pulled her into a hug. "You know we're just looking out for you, right?"

She rolled her eyes, but returned the hug. It was nice, knowing that people still cared even when she'd tried to push them away.

"I'm the loner cheerleader, Nate. Remember?" Peyton told him, pulling back. She winced, and he was immediate on his feet, helping her ease back to lean against her pillows into a more comfortable position.

You've got some ugly toes, girl.

No, I don't.

Yeah, you do. They're practically like fingers.

Well, then just focus on the middle one.

"Peyton?"

"Hmm?" She smiled at him as he reached behind her to fluff her pillows. "What's wrong, Nathan? Are you okay?"

Nathan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Can I ask you something? I swear, I'm not judging you, but..."

He really slammed you.

I don't care what he thinks.

Neither do I.

Oh yeah? Then why are you drinking?

Peyton sighed too. She would have been lying if she said that his opinion didn't matter to her, they had dated, and they'd been friends long enough for her to care about what he thought.

"Shoot."

"Why did you stay with him?" He asked quietly, his gaze fixed on the floor. "You're so much smarter than that, Peyton. How could you just stay with someone who treats you like you're nothing."

Peyton knew that he didn't mean to be so harsh with his questions, but they were coming across as such. They had an honest relationship now, they were the type of friends who could say things to one another without apologizing, because they were only looking out for each other.

Did you really hate me that much?

No! I didn't hate you! I... I just didn't care about anybody but myself

"Well, I stayed with you." Peyton pointed out. "I stayed with you when you kissed other girls, I stayed with you after you made a sex tape with my best friend... Of course, I didn't find out about that until last year..."

Nathan shot her an apologetic look. It had been a mistake, and she had found it in her heart to forgive them both,

Look, I hooked up with Brooke, because she was drunk, and I was a bastard. It didn't mean anything. It was just a mistake we both wanted to forger.

"I never hit you, Peyton."

That explains why you taped it.

"No." She agreed, looking thoughtful. "But you didn't always treat me like I was important to you either, Nathan..."

Nathan let out another long, held-in sigh. He knew she was right, and he hated the person he used to be, the person who had treated her like a doormat. But he was going to make it up to her, every single mistake, because she was his friend, and he loved her.

I just don't care. I'm you, two years ago.

No you're not. You never were. Why do you think you stayed with me when I treated you so bad?

I'm a masochist.

Because you cared. That's who you are. You care about Lucas, because you know he loves you, and you probably still care about me and Brooke, because you know we love you too. Just face it, Peyton. You care.

"Nate?"

He slowly raised his head to meet her eyes. She reached out and squeezed his hand. He'd been right, of course, despite everything, she had never stopped caring about either one of them.

"I stayed with him..." Peyton paused, searching for the right words. "Because, I really wanted to believe that he loved me, and that he'd change if I didn't say, or do the wrong thing. And I had just gotten Brooke back, Jake was gone, and Lucas and I were finally in a good place as friends... I needed to move on."

"You still had feelings for Lucas when you started dating Ricky?" Nathan demanded. His older brother had never stopped loving Peyton, no matter how many times he'd tried to deny it.

"Well... Yeah." Peyton admitted, blushing.

She would always have feelings for Lucas, it wasn't something she could just bury, and act like nothing had ever happened. She'd tried before, it didn't work.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

She shrugged. "Like I said, I had just gotten Brooke back, I didn't want to risk losing her again over the same boy. You know, no third time's the charm, or anything. Luke and I will always be just friends, Nate, and I can learn to live with that."

Peyton heard someone take a sharp breath. They both looked up in alarm as their brown haired friend entered the room.