"Yo, I'm home!"

"Welcome back, Master!"

…. Okay, that was not the response back I was expecting. Slowly my head straightens from looking at my shoes to finding a cute, blonde twelve-year-old girl smiling at me. That I expect to see. What I don't expect to see is a very provocative maid outfit on her petite body. The black and white costume accentuates the girl's surprisingly large bust and modest hips, its skirt short enough to reveal attractive thighs. Knee-high white socks continue down the slender legs. In all, the sight before me of a blonde loli maid would send numerous lolicons into cardiac arrest.

"... What the hell are you doing, Mittelt?" Fortunately, I'm not one of them.

"Mou, Master, there is no need to be rude. Allow Micchan to service you personally !"

"You say that so confidently, but we both know that you become incredibly shy when someone else makes the first move," I deadpan, having experienced it in person. Of course, that was when the girl looked fifteen instead of twelve, so I don't feel quite as guilty as I should. "And what's with referring yourself in the third-person as 'Micchan'?"

The blonde drops her charade, her cheeks puffing out in irritation. "You called me that before!"

"Yes, I did, and I felt it was quite cute at that time. However, you lost that privilege after continually climbing into my bed without any clothes on and without my permission. As such, you will not be called 'Micchan' until you have earned the pet name back."

"... By earning, does that include merits on performances in the bedroom?"

My response is throwing her outside and locking the door behind me. After a few minutes of the poor blonde pounding away to get back in, I deign to help her … by opening the door, dropping her shoes on the front step, and closing the door before she can get in again. Okay, that may seem mean, but the girl is incredibly perverted. This is simply a learning opportunity for her, and the lesson is simple: I have no interest in lolis.

"Ah, Kurotani-san. How was Kyoto?" A voice greets me from my living room.

"Not too bad, Raynare. All they wanted to find out was about the entire episode two weeks ago. They're fairly excited about the Sekiryuutei being Japanese this round, so they felt my actions were appropriate. They also know I took you two in as apprentices - if you and Mittelt are any good, then there's potential in recruiting ex-Fallen Angels. It's basically a no-lose situation for them," I reply before I open my refrigerator, which should hold enough for a small snack before I have to go shopping tomorrow morning. Except I find nothing. "... Say, Raynare? What happened to all of my food?"

"Oh, we ate it all," comes the reply after a second of suspicious hesitation.

"All? I know it wasn't really full when I left, but it should have been more than enough for you two!"

"... Fallen angels have faster metabolisms."

"Faster metabolisms? Since when? … This isn't one of those 'time of the month' things female angels have to deal with, right?"

"Boys should never ask girls about that!" The former Grigori member cries out indignantly.

"So how the hell did all the food disappear? Didn't you go out to eat like I told you too?"

"Well, we didn't want to go to a restaurant or fast-food."

"... Neither of you can cook."

"... We were out of money?"

"Out of money? I left you my credit ca~" It's at this moment that I finally walk into my living room. Or what was my living room. "What the hell happened?!"

Raynare, sitting in a very comfy-looking beanbag, tries a cute, disarming smile to mellow me out a bit. "We may have refurbished your apartment," she shyly bows her head, trying to look as innocent as possible to avoid my wrath.

Needless to say, she failed.

Okay, I admit it, the two girls did a fabulous job updating my apartment. The couch feels a little like heaven, the bean bag almost hugs you in pure comfort, and the big-screen TV that takes up the entire wall makes me feel like I'm actually in the show. It's A-grade material, too, so I know that the two weren't scammed and cheated.

That said, I'm not going to go and applaud their work. To go behind my back and use my money without my permission seems like a breach of privacy. It also doesn't explain too much about how they maxed out my card. Sure, the couch and TV seem top-level, but I'm still pretty rich for a kid living in a single apartment, and I don't even beg my father for something extra cash. It would take quite a bit to run me dry.

Of course, after searching the rest of my home, I figured out why the two couldn't afford anything to eat. "Okay, why is my bed so much bigger than before?"

"Well, you're a growing boy, plus it gives me and Raynare some more space after some fun in the bed!" I had let Mittelt back in so that she and Ray-chan could both explain themselves. At least the dark-haired former angel looked somewhat downtrodden and guilty - Mittelt looked downright smug.

"I've told you you're not allowed in my bed! And Raynare doesn't even sleep in it!"

"No, you forbade me to go in your bed naked. From now on, I'm going to wear pajamas. And as for Raynare, after seeing the bed, she decided to share as well."

… I really have nothing to say on that subject anymore. It's just too ridiculous. Luckily, two machines in the hallway give me more of an opportunity to complain. "Why is there a full washer and dryer set?"

"To wash our clothes, dummy!"

"You don't have any! You've been using mine! In fact, Raynare is using my long-sleeve shirt that I was planning to wear to school tomorrow! … Wait, are you wearing any underwear under that?"

"You know I don't wear underwear."

"AAGHHH! Okay, calm down Rokudou. It's only a shirt. Granted, it's the only school shirt you have, but it's still only a shirt."

"I thought guys loved girls that wear only button-down shirts with nothing underneath?"

"Shut up, Mittelt! Now, what else did you spend my money on? A toilet with a bidet built in?"

""..."" Both girls casually avoid my eyes. I again scream in anger. I march into the bathroom to find a state-of-the-art toilet with a button-pad to the side. But that's not the only thing I find in the bathroom.

"What… is…. that?" I seethe.

Raynare shyly pitches in the answer. "A new bathtub."

"And why does it seem to be three times the size of what it was originally?"

"... Because it is…"

"... How?"

"Well, we needed construction to knock down a wall," chimed in Mittelt.

"... You two got the owner's approval on this at least." The two girls look confused after I say this. "Wait, you two know that I actually rent this out, right?"

"Oh dear."

"Oops."

"... Please give me a good reason why I should not just throw you two out."

"Um, because we're your sex slaves?"

"That isn't helping, Mittelt!" Raynare screams before slapping her friend with a fan from who knows where. "I apologize profusely for not informing you of this earlier, Kurotani-sama. Please forgive us," she practically cries out, her head bowed and holding the other girl's head down. "We've got nowhere else to go."

"... Fine. I guess I needed a makeover my place anyways. And my dad should be more than willing to help. Just one question," I glare silently for a moment at the blonde maid. "Exactly how did you get that costume?"

"... Kurotani-sama, would you like a nice bath? The bath is equipped with jets that will make your relaxing experience all the more enjoyable! It can ease your mind and allow you to overcome the fact that Micchan may have spent the last of your money on a loli-maid cosplay !"

"Mittelt!"