"Hey, Masterrrr! Are we there yettttt?!"

"Will you shut up, Mittelt? We're trying to not let the Occult Research Club find out about us following them, remember?"

"But I'm so tireddddd!"

"Tell that to someone who slept last night," I grumble under my breath.

"Heh? Was Kurotani-san that excited that two girls were sleeping next to him?" The other one of our group, Raynare, gives a mischievous smirk, trying to see how I'd react. "Perr~vert!"

"Hah, it just so happens that you, Ray-chan, take up way too much space and practically kicked me off the bed."

The black-haired loli blushes bright crimson at the humiliating remark. "That's not true!"

"Actually, Master's right. You some how kicked me off as well," chimes in Mittelt helpfully. I reward her with a slight pat on the head and her pet name, which she laps up. She is frankly way too easily pleased.

After a few minutes of light-hearted bickering, the little blonde former angel poses a question. "Hey, Master! I didn't see you when Ray-chan kicked me off, and you were supposed to be between us. Where did you go?"

"Ah, yes, well, I couldn't sleep, so I got on my computer… You see, this week isn't just a vacation, right? I needed ideas on training and what-not."

"Wait, this week is really to train us? I thought you were only joking about that!"

For the next few minutes, the two little girls complain in a loud whisper about all the unfairness of being forced to be ninja, not having a life, not progressing in their relationship with me (Mittelt especially focused on that topic), etc. etc. I secretly sigh in relief, glad that the two hadn't noticed my little white lie.

Now, it might seem suspicious that a teenaged boy like me would be on my computer at night while my two roommates were asleep. I mean that is the hour girlfriend-less boys spend time with Mrs. Palmer and her five sisters enjoying a late night show. Unless, of course, you're Hyoudou Issei - in his case any hour of the day is fair game for that date. Fortunately, I am not Hyoudou-san; I'm not even someone who watches porn. Never really saw the point of it, to be perfectly honest. I mean, I've known Yasaka-sama, whose beauty rivals any goddess, my entire life, so very few women could ever amount to anything close to her. And besides, watching someone else have sex to get yourself excited is just pathetic.

So no, I was not watching porn in the middle of the night. Instead, I was "training." You see, after I got the mission, an email was sent my way, telling me that a package would arrive that night. I was to complete whatever was in the package before I left to keep an eye on the Gremory group. Arriving home, I found said package - a tiny little box holding a flash drive, with a note attached saying I was to train using the flash drive without anyone around. This was the reasoning of why I found myself in front of a computer screen in the middle of the night.

Now, these flash drives aren't that uncommon. Often times ninjas are informed of their missions through them. Once you're done viewing the contents, it is very easy to destroy. Plus, Kyoto likes to code the ninja's DNA into the drive itself, so that only the shinobi can load it up - that way, if it ever gets in someone else's hands, it would be perfectly useless. I honestly think a simple message sent through magical means is just as reliable and less expensive, but the elders stand by their belief that, since they run the magical world of Japan, the magical side should embrace whatever technology its non-magical brethren think up and expound upon it. Hence the magically-empowered flash drives being sent through magical means.

In the past, I've gotten various facts about missions I was a part of. Everything from height and weight of the target to the last time the target's fifth cousin twice removed ate out at a restaurant. Okay, maybe not that detailed, but most of the time I get information that ensures my success in my mission. So, naturally I was expecting various charts, statistical analysis, patterns and such on each and every member of Rias Gremory's peerage. The least I was expecting was a letter confirming my orders from some high-ranking official.

What I was not expecting was an eroge.

For those of you who are unaware of what an eroge is, allow me to explain. You see, for some girlfriend-less perverts like Hyoudou Issei, watching porn isn't enough to satisfy Mrs. Palmer. So, in order to really get his mind into whatever state he needs, said girlfriend-less pervert resorts to living out his fantasies through the means of a computer game. Most of the time the main character is some nobody at a high school - in other words, Hyoudou-san before he was introduced into the world of devils and angels. That character usually has a crush on some girl who is completely out of his league. So, the player levels up his character and continually talks to his crush until he finally wins the girl's heart. Of course, since this is a game for perverts, "winning the girl's heart" means "using a computer avatar to bang some cartoon girl senseless." And, to top it off, other unattainable-in-real-life girls make their way into the character's life and create a potential romance/have computer sex.

It's basically playable porn.

And the elders of Kyoto sent this to me.

As training.

…

To top it off, a warning immediately flashed on the screen when I plugged the flash drive in, saying that the second I try to remove the drive or in any way impede any progress within the game, a siren would announce to the world that Kurotani Rokudou was playing an eroge. I knew enough about my superiors to know this was no idle threat. So I was forced to complete the "harem route" of the game, which mysteriously mirrored my life, what with having a way-too-young fiancee; a child-like, white-haired love interest; and two maids that looked like they were half the main character's age. One was a big-boobed blonde and the other was a raven-haired pettanko.

… I swear, once I became the nine-tails' husband, I will make sure every single one of the elders will be punished in the most horrible ways imaginable. And then I'll make sure they die very painfully and slowly as images of this loli eroge flash before their eyes, making that the last thing they see before I bury the hatchet… in the back of their skulls.

"Um, Master, why are you smirking rather evilly at nothing in particular?" The two girls look at me with somewhat adorable eyes. Odd, the two maids in last night's game actually had the same exact look~ No me! Forget about it! Forget about that shitty game!

"Ah, nothing. By the way, Raynare?"

"Hmmm?"

"Since when did you get a maid uniform?"

"You just realized now?"

"No, I knew you were wearing one since the moment you stepped out completely changed this morning. I've just been trying to reject the image this entire time."

The girl pouts cutely with blushing with embarrassment. "I~ I thought it looked good on Micchan, so I ordered one too…"

Mittelt grins proudly, patting her friend on the back. "Don't worry, Ray-chan! You look positively adorable!"

… Oh kami, this is exactly what happens in that blasted game! Ignore them, Rokkun! I know you can ignore them!

"Do you like it, Kurotani-san?"

IGNORE! IGNORE!

"Now, now, Ray-chan, a maid must never call Master by his nam~"

"REJECTED! RAYNARE, NEVER CALL ME 'MASTER'! AND MITTELT! STOP CALLING ME THAT AS WELL!" Ah, my self-discipline fails me yet again. I cough quietly into my hand before reverting back to my dead-pan look. "Anyways, why did you two decide to wear your maid cosplay when we're going on a training trip?"

"Because we're Master's maids!" Mittelt enthusiastically replies, completely ignoring my loud request. Raynare just stands there, nodding in agreement. "And besides, Master is training us to become ninja. Why can't we be ninja maids?"

"... I can't really answer that…" Great, the blonde pervert actually brought up a good point. I mean, having two girls around is somewhat difficult to explain - I've somehow passed it off to my neighbors as Raynare is my half-sister (she inexplicably looks Japanese; don't ask me how) and Mittelt is her half-American cousin. Then again all of my neighbors are partiers who stay out late and are too tired once they get home to even care what I'm saying most of the time. There's always the chance that someone who isn't exhausted and dumb enough to believe such obvious lies stumbles upon them. Saying my dad is pretty rich (it would explain how I got the apartment and is, in fact, not a lie, though I'm sure nobody would like to hear how my father is so wealthy) and sent me two maids-in-training would be a lot more believable than these two being related to me.

"Fine, but do either of you even know the first thing about being a maid?" The two give me completely blank stares. "... Right, I guess we'll focus on the ninja half now and figure out the maid half later." A certain gray-haired goddes~ err, devil comes to mind, but getting her to help would take a miracle. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure the devils are all getting ready to train. Let's set up camp over here…"

BONNG!

Huh? How the hell does a tree make a gong sound when it's hit? I mean, it's wood, and a gong is a round metal~ ah, nevermind! I'm a ninja who can literally hide in shadows. Some tree making a metal-sounding noise isn't the weirdest thing I've ever experienced.

No, instead seeing a path of pulverized and uprooted trees behind a midget of a girl may be.

CRREEEAAAK!

Oh, another tree gets blown away. The white-haired girl agilely leaps away as the roots disentangle themselves from the earth, flipping through the air and landing casually on her two feet a good five meters away. Typical cat. And I'm supposed to make this girl that can punch trees into the air fall in love with me… I really hate my life.

Yes, I am here in the woods, practically stalking a girl who looks ten and trying to figure out how to mate with her. Yeah, I'm tempted to call the cops on myself.

That said, I've actually been doing my job of "observing" her while Koneko uses trees like normal people use punching bags. For being such a small girl (and small as in all-around size, not bust - I learned that the hard way), she has a ton of power. Where did it all come from? I mean, I know she's the rook for Rias Gremory, which makes her powerfully equipped in both offense and defence, but this is just insane. I mean, I'm not necessarily the biggest guy in the world, but I'm at least twice Koneko-chan's size and have some amount of power, but I doubt I could punch a dent into a tree, let alone smash it into splinters and sawdust.

I can just imagine what she could do if she ever got in touch with her natural senjutsu. Most people believe it's a learned ability, but for nekomata, it's inherited. And that's the one major red flag waving - the girl is actively trying to ignore who she is, which is seriously bad news. A nekoshou who's avoiding her true power is a danger to herself and anyone around her. Her lack of control could easily cause someone to wither and die, no matter how much she doesn't want it to happen. Uncontrolled senjutsu can even envelope a yokai in touki so strong, whoever touches it will immediately have all channels of ki in their body shut. In other words, instant death. I'm guessing that, since she hasn't seen her sister in over five years, she never met anyone who could properly explain why repressing her powers will only bring more problems.

Judging from her current condition, this little white-haired nekoshou still has some time before she blows. That's the good news. I have plenty of time to try and convince her that senjutsu isn't as horrible as she believes, thanks to her sister. Of course, if her sister hadn't done what she had, who knows what horrible things this little Koneko-chan would have had to suffer. If only that sister had actually thought about telling her that - this entire issue with the senjutsu would never have happened.

Just as I'm thinking on how to break the news that her sister isn't as horrible as Koneko-chan thinks, the little nekoshou speaks up. "... How long are you going to be there, Roku-senpai?"

I smirk, amused at being caught. Using the shadows I pop up in front of her. "Oh, have I been discovered? Looks like someone was subconsciously using ki."

"... What are you doing here, senpai?" Koneko cutely pouts, obviously displeased I'm here and what I might have implied.

"Well, we in Kyoto have to look after our own, right?"

"... I don't know anything about Kyoto."

"Ah, true. I understand you've lived most of your life among the devils, correct?"

"... Why do you know so much about me? I've never met you before the other day." Crap. This is not going well. Even with her emotionless expression, I can tell she's somewhat afraid.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm just a simple guy here to protect a cute girl." Koneko seems to be taken aback by that, and I can even tell a light blush appearing on her cheeks. Holy shit, the eroge bull actually works!

"... That still doesn't explain why you know about me."

"Let's just say we've watched you for a while." And when I say "watch" what I mean is followed her entire life. We know what food she eats, what her hobbies are, what she likes to study in school. Hell, we know that she used to have a crush on her fellow servant under Rias Gremory, Kiba Yuuto. But, since Kiba seemed like he had absolutely no interest in girls at the time (actually, that probably hasn't changed), that crush ended quickly.

But most importantly, and most unfortunately, we know her past. Frankly, her past is just too cruel. No one should ever have to go through what she had to. And she was only a nine-year-old little girl.

The girl's eyes grow cold. Perhaps she realizes that Kyoto may have been able to save her? I wouldn't blame her if she held my people responsible for her childhood. But luckily, I'm young enough that I can just brush that aside and act like she can rely on me. I just have to play my cards right…

"I'm sorry for what you went through. You needed someone that could save you from that ordeal, and your fellow yokai were not there for you. I only wish I could have been there to ease your pain."

Koneko looks up at me again. I can tell she hasn't given up her anger and distrust, but I can see that she accepts my apology a bit. There also faint traces of a blush. Huh, maybe I should try more of those eroge, just without the "ero" in it. That would be dating sims, right?

I watch as she continues to pummel trees into submission. "Preparing for your fight with the Phenex?"

"... Yes. I must be strong to help Buchou."

"I could help you, you know."

"... I'm fine, Roku-senpai."

"Ah, come on. I might not look like it, but I know quite a bit of hand-to-hand combat. My most basic weapons are knives and kunais, so I have to know how to get in close. For instance," I suddenly appear right in front of her, too close for her to really throw her (very little) weight around, "how would you get away if someone got this close."

"... Knee you in the crotch."

Well, that would certainly be effective. "... Okay, and if that someone wasn't me or any other guy?" The girl frowns at that. It's something to consider, especially since she will only be facing women in the upcoming Rating Game. "Meet me here once you get through your little lesson with Hyoudou-san, and then I can give you some pointers. And no worries - I won't teach you any senjutsu."

"... You seem to know a lot about me, Roku-senpai."

"Hey, just be glad I don't know your three sizes. Oh, by the way, the Perverted Trio do. I beat the crap out of them because of that, but I thought you'd like to know." The nekoshou instantly scowls at that. I have a feeling poor Hyoudou Issei was soon to be in line of some massive punishment. He deserves it, of course.

"... And senpai?"

"Huh? Oh, whether I remember what they said?" A nod. "Nah. I find beauty cannot be measured in numbers…" This just make her look at me suspiciously. I smirk. "You have good instincts, Koneko. It's something that many nekomata have, and since you're the best of them, I would venture to say that whatever your gut says is probably true."

"... Thank you." The little girl blushes a bit at my compliment before she turns away to meet up with the Pervert King. Well, if this is one step closer to having her fall for me, all the better. Still, it would help if she actually had breasts. 67 centimeters is way too small for a fifteen-year-old girl.

Suddenly, a log is shot at me at incredibly high speeds. I just barely dodge it. I glance up and notice Koneko walk off, slightly upset. Oops, she probably read my ki again. Gotta keep track of that.

With that, I slip back into the shadows. Her tips that she gives Hyoudou-san will prove useful to what I can teach her.

"EEEKKK! Master, I'm going to be killed!"

I hum in response, enough to let Mittelt know I was listening, and get back to reading my book. The girl shrieks again and dives to avoid another blow from her short challenger.

"Um, Master?" Raynare looks up to me with skeptical eyes. "Explain to me why you're allowing the devil cat to try and kill us."

Hearing this, I sigh tiredly. "Raynare, don't call me 'Master.'" I then glance up to see Koneko-chan victimize a poor tree again, the splinters shooting off in all directions. "As to why I've ordered you and Mittelt to dodge everything my new pupil throws, the reason is twofold. One, as ninja you are supposed to be quick. I've had you two running a lot lately to build up your endurance so that you can be ready for the drills that will increase your short-distance quickness. I was going to be the one attacking you, but Koneko-chan here needed training, so I felt she could do the pummeling."

"And the second reason?"

I watch over the top of my book as the nekoshou destroys a boulder the size of a small car. "Koneko-chan has to learn that a straight punch hardly ever hits."

After another five minutes, the two combatants lie on the ground, panting heavily. I close my book and walk casually up to them. "You know, some pervert may actually be moved at seeing you two with your chests moving up and down and sweat glistening down."

"Oh, does Master have a fetish for seeing girls tire themselves out?"

"... Pervert."

"Mittelt, shut up. And Koneko-chan, I said 'some pervert.' I, for one, prefer my girls to not be out of breath after ten minutes."

"Is that so, Master? Then I will train as hard as possible in order to gain your love!"

"... Anyways, Koneko-chan - what did you learn about today?"

"... I am too slow."

"Hmmm. I can see why you would say that, seeing as you didn't hit Mittelt once. But I don't think that's the reason. Mittelt, why was she not able to hit you?"

"Well, Master, the cat kept doing the same move. When I saw what it could do earlier, I knew it would hurt a lot and make it so Master wouldn't want to see my fac~"

"Thank you, Mittelt, for your observations," I cut her off quickly, knowing she'll go on and on about trying to impress me. "As you can see, Koneko-chan, you telegraph your punch. Now, it might work on someone who hasn't seen what damage that punch can do, but anybody who doesn't underestimate your small body won't fall for it."

"... So, what should I do?"

"Do exactly the opposite of what you told Hyoudou-san earlier."

"... Huh?"

"What I mean is aim for something other than 'the center.' The human body is a large target, and there are multiple areas to inflict pain. Also, don't try to throw a punch with all of your power at one time - it wastes too much energy, especially if you miss. If you had conserved your energy, you would have been able to keep fighting for a lot longer. As it is, I'm impressed you lasted a full ten minutes - it shows that you have tremendous endurance."

"Ah, Master is impressed that I lasted ten minutes!"

I scoff at Mittelt's comment. "Actually, it should be far less tiring to dodge rather than to throw a punch. The fact that you fell at the same time as someone throwing her entire weight around for ten minutes is kind of pathetic." That quiets my blonde maid.

"... So, what will you teach me, Roku-senpai?"

"Glad you asked, Koneko-chan. I'm going to point out several parts of the body that might not seem like they would do much, but in fact cause major damage. Your foe will not expect it, meaning you can knock them down much quicker than you can now. I will tell you, though, those points are really easy to find using senjutsu. However," I continue, stopping the nekoshou from interrupting me, "since I know you're against senjutsu, I will merely point out a few that are easy to hit and wide-spread among most humanoid beings. For the next ten days, you will continue to spar with Mittelt and Raynare, aiming to hit at these particular spots, until you have it down pat. I will also be giving you various advice on tactics a shinobi will often use if they find themselves in a fight."

"... I still don't trust them. They smell like Grigori."

"And I told you before, since they lost their wings, they're no more than superhuman. They can only achieve the smallest of light spears, which will prove useful as weapons for a ninja. Still, a nekomata will wipe the floor clean with them in a fight, let alone a nekoshou." I glance at my watch, realizing how late it is. "Hmmm, it's probably best I get going."

The nekoshou nods in understanding. "...What happens if I need you again?"

"Eh, just call out. I'll be around."

"... Thank you, sempai." She starts heading back to the mansion the Occult Research Club is staying at, but before she leaves, she turns around. "... Oh, senpai? Can you make sure Issei-senpai doesn't peek on us while we bathe tonight?"

"Ah? Aren't you afraid that I might as well?"

Koneko merely shakes her head. Seeing my eyebrow lift in question, she just says, "... I trust Senpai," and turns around, walking back to camp. My two maid ninjas-in-training glance at me appraisingly.

"I must say, Master, you work quickly when it come to girls around our size."

"Oooh, I'm getting jealous! Master, I know you have to make the cat fall for you, but please share some time with me!"

"Shut up, you two. I've already told you I'm not into lolis. And besides," I note with a sad smile. "You both know that girl is going to hate me in the end." Both maids nod sympathetically, fully aware of what I'm doing against my will. I may not like it, but we three have gradually grown on each other in the past few weeks. I still have my doubts about the two, but both of them have sworn loyalty to me. I can understand Mittelt, but Raynare switching her allegiance from her idol Azazel to me was surprising, to say the least. And as untrustworthy as Fallen Angels are (I mean, their entire existence originates from betraying heaven), I truly feel that these two are mine, in a manner of speaking. Now, it's up to me to get them to an acceptable level to be my followers.

"Now, time for more training," I grin sadistically, enjoying the slight tremble the two ex-Fallen Angels share. I'm not sure how loyal they'll be once I'm finished with them. And if I can get someone in mind to train them on being true maids, then I know they'll start to curse my name. … I am so going to enjoy this.

Nine days later

"Aaaahhhh. This is heaven."

Steam rises through the air all around me as I soak in a hot spring that was discovered just today. It's a perfect temperature, there's nothing around me that can interrupt my relaxation, and … yeah, like I moaned out earlier, this is heaven.

Then again, it would be a better heaven if Yasaka-sama and/or Grayfia Lucifrage-sama joined me. I start getting a lewd grin as I imagine the two enjoying this hot spring with me. All three of us, soaking, no clothes or towels separating our naked bodies from each other. The two of them start teasing me a bit, a little bit of naughty flirting, and then…

"... Lewd thoughts are prohibited."

I glance over to the other end of the hot springs where Koneko-chan is wrapped up in a towel, trying to figure out if she wanted to get into the pool or not. "Oh? And what if those lewd thoughts concerned a certain white-haired yokai, Koneko-chan?"

"... If Ise-senpai doesn't even think of me that way, then Roku-senpai would never think of me that way," I hear a soft mutter from that end, full of disappointment. Wait, she said something about Hyoudou-san… is she perhaps jealous that he doesn't see her in the same way as the other girls of the ORC? … Nah, it's probably the fact that all of the other girls have way too curvy of figures for high school students, and what with Koneko-chan basically being a loli.

Wait a minute, there was a scene like this in that erog~ errr, dating sim I used as training. I had to make the girl feel special and wanted… Ironically enough, this situation is probably going to be much more erotic than in the game itself.

"Umm, are you just going to … stand there, giving me a spectacular view… ahem … or are you … going to get in…" Oh my kami, this is embarrassing! I'm actually trying to hit on an elementary-student-look-a-like girl. Police! There is a pervert here! Please, take me away!

The elementary-student-look-a-like girl blushes a very deep shade of red that, even with the steam and the dimming light of the day, I can see very clearly. Obviously, not very many guys have even attempted to flirt with her, so this is extremely foreign territory for her. Not to mention this hot spring that Hyoudou-san unearthed after he blew the top off the mountain I and my ninja maids-in-training had been staying on wasn't relatively large in size. At max, four people could fit in it, so for Koneko-chan, this was most likely the first time she had ever been in such proximity with a near-naked guy. Still, she breathes in and, with a little hint of trepidation, she steps into the hot spring. The perfection of the water quickly engulfs her, and she lets out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

"... Yes."

After that, we just sit awkwardly in the hot spring, actively trying not to look at each other, which is pretty hard since our feet are practically touching each others. Minutes tick by, each more awkward than the last, until I, with a tired sigh, give up and decide to talk to the girl. "So, enjoyed your week?"

"... Yes. Buchou had us working hard, and Roku-senpai taught me… well enough."

I chuckle. "I'm guessing you didn't really like what I taught you."

The little white-haired girl frowns slightly and thinks carefully about her answer. "... I understand why you taught me what you did, but it all seems… dirty."

"Well, hate to break it to you, kitty, but fighting… fighting is supposed to be dirty."

The girl looks at me for a minute, trying to keep herself from blurting out what I know she wants to say. I would have figured she knew I didn't care what she said after the past week we've spent with each other. Finally she relents. "... But you're a ninja. That's how you're taught."

That does it. I burst out laughing, gasping for breath, while Koneko-chan just stares at me, confused. "Ha… sorry about that. It's just that what you said is exactly what martial artists say all the time. Then they'll go and do exactly what I've taught you for the past week - break your elbows, shatter your knees, etc." The little girl looks slightly repulsed and looks like she wants to argue back at that, but I continue. "All that honor bullshit that samurai and knights sprout is just that: bullshit. Tell me, what are you trying to do in a fight?"

"... Defeat the foe."

"And how?" The girl looks at me incredulously, because the answer is pretty obvious. "By injuring them or knocking them out, correct? So, beating the crap out of people is suddenly an honorable thing? Punching them hard enough that it breaks bones and disfigures a face is good? Of course, if you keep going, you could easily kill the person. Kill. Do you seriously want me to believe that taking somebody's life in battle is seen as chivalrous? In the end, it's the same result as stabbing the person in the back: the victim is dead, and no matter how 'honorable' you were, that doesn't change."

Koneko-chan stares at me, eyes opening in comprehension. "... But, it seems so cruel. Hurting people like that."

"That's why I was teaching Mittelt and Raynare to do that to you as well: so that all three of you knew the pain you were causing. And by thinking it is cruel, then you have proven to me that it was right to teach you that."

"... Why?"

"It shows that you're not a monster."

As those words sink in, I notice a few tears in her eyes. It looks like I hit my mark. Okay, it might have been a cruel way to get to it, but I had to get it into Koneko-chan's head that power doesn't make the monster. The girl believes that, if she were to delve into using senjutsu, she would become like her sister: so consumed by power that she would attack and kill her own King. In her eyes, a monster. And to the King who has treated her like a little sister since they first met, Koneko-chan could never even consider doing that. It might still take a while. But this… knowing that she can choose to be a monster or not will help her learn to use senjutsu - it will ultimately save her life and the lives of her precious friends.

As this realization hits, the girl jumps onto my lap, crying into my chest. Okay, this is beyond my expectations. Still, I should allow her to cry. I mean, the girl probably bottles up all of her emotions, so letting her do this will only help. I pat her back, humming a soothing song, and wait until she starts to calm down a bit, giving out a few whimpers. "Hey, you alright?"

"... Yes." Koneko-chan leans back, blushing. "... Sorry about that, Roku-senp~"

Now, I know how unlucky in love I am. The type of women I'm interested in and prefer above all others - onee-samas - don't really look at guys who hide in the shadows and do a bunch of dirty work. Girls my age don't interest me. I'm engaged to an elementary school student and ordered to woo another girl who looks like one. I also have two loli maids, one of which is actively trying to lose her virginity to me and the other, I feel, wouldn't mind going along. So I sometimes think that I'm seriously cursed by whatever gods and goddesses of love there are.

Of course, that was before now. Now… now, I'm sure that I'm cursed. There's no other way to say it. I mean, how is it that, of all the things that could have happened, Koneko-chan's towel - that was tightly wrapped around her, by the way - should happen to come loose just as she is sitting on my lap?

And how, of all the time they could have come, do my two ninja maids-in-training decide to come to the hot springs at this precise minute?

… I seriously hate my life.

Mittelt acts like she normally does - she instantly rips off her towel and jumps in, eager to get in with whatever she imagines Koneko-chan and I were doing. I can't help but stare at her breasts that failed to shrink along with the rest of her body when she reverted back to the size of a cherub. For someone so small, those boobs sure are enticing. Like a forbidden fruit, just waiting to be taken hold of an~ STOP THINKING LIKE THAT, ROKUDOU!

Raynare, on the other hand, casually lets her towel fall to the ground, which I have to admit is pretty sexy on her part. Oddly enough, Raynare seems much more mature than when she had her wings. She seems more reserved, more considerate, more innocent - which, when combined with the fact that she willingly shows her naked body to me, makes a very… intoxicating gap~ ROKUDOU, I SWEAR I WILL KILL MYSELF IF YOU KEEP THINKING STUFF LIKE THAT!

And then there's the naked girl on my lap. Her body is completely frozen in shock and embarrassment. That's understandable. She's never been in a situation like this before. It probably doesn't help that she feels something getting bigger underneath her. Ugh, hormones, how I hate you so! Still, her face getting redder and redder just make me want to tease her~ THAT'S IT! I AM NOT A LOLICON!

"Um, Koneko-chan, I need you to do something for me," I calmly tell the nekoshou. She doesn't stop blushing, but she cocks her head, confused at my lack of nerves or excitement in my voice. "Please hit me in the face as hard as you can."

"... What?"

"Knock me out and, if you can, make sure I can't remember anything that has happened in the last ninety seconds. I think that is best."

Kuoh's mascot nods in understanding before she winds up. I smile in relief as the fist of divine punishment descends to deliver its judgment upon me. Ah, unconsciousness, I welcome thee with open arms...