Once outside, he struggled to concentrate enough to stay hidden. But he did, just barely. The thought of the lack of darkness kept his focus going. Suddenly exhausted, he sat awkwardly on the bench and breathed deeply. Tension had invaded his joints and he felt stiff, unable to move. He cautiously moved his hand to stroke his fronds.
Rather abruptly, he heard a recognizable voice coming towards his direction. Worthington. Shit. He'd forgotten this was one of the frats usual spots. He froze in his fear again. He'd been so ready before. So full of confidence to tell him it wasn't his fault. But now he knew he'd just do a piss poor job of explaining himself whilst feeling and looking so drained, instead he just listened as the Roars came closer.
"Johnny forget about him, he's history!" Chip shouted, getting annoyed.
"HE was the top prize. The image this fraternity needed. NEEDS, after that bastard Boggs shat on it." Worthington sneered. He puffed his chest out. "As my father always said, you cannot be the best without the best."
"That Wazowksi only held him back in the end!" Chet reminded him. "If he couldn't beat a beachball in a scare exam, he'd never have amounted to anything in the frat!"
"Or he would have only weakened our image." Javier inputted, his usual look of contempt still plastered to his face. Randall was rather surprised to hear him speak.
"No you're wrong. His performance in the scare games was proof enough that I had been right all along!" Worthington turned on his frat brothers, eyes in rage at their opposition to him. "He was elitist. For fuck sake, I kept his damn jacket!" He sighed, still enraged.
"That bastard lizard. I never saw that coming!"
"None of us did!" Javier retorted. "You think we thought a disposable would damage us that badly?"
"We ALWAYS knew you wanted Sullivan back Johnny!" Chet erupted. "Boggs was just a bit of fun. I honestly thought he'd join us again straight away."
"Well that FUN cost us our RESPECT!" Johnny brought his face intimidatingly close to Chet. Chet backed down.
Randall chastised himself, feeling degraded and broken. They hadn't chosen out of any appreciation at all. He realized Johnny wouldn't give a shit what he had to say, regardless of whether he'd had his little incident in the scare games or not. He'd been doomed from the start. Still blended, he looked down through himself. Hollow, nothing of worth. He began to despise Worthington for taking his value away from himself.
"Well…" Johnny sighed. "Least we won't have to see him and that Wazowski again."
'What?' Randall's fronds perked at his words. 'What the hell is he talking about?' All of the Oks were in the scare programme now. Weren't they?
He waited until they had left before re-appearing in the nearly deserted quad. Wiped out, he just wanted to go back to his hotel room. But first, he was determined to find out exactly what they had meant. Glancing around, Randall noticed the blue newspaper dispensers that house the university newspaper, 'The Campus Roar'.
"Hmm…" Everything about everything was in those pages. Nothing was story proof on this campus. Even the Roars prank on the Oozma's made the front page.
In a swift motion, he reached the box and gasped at the front page in shock. 'Freshmen Expelled'. A huge picture of Sullivan and Mike being escorted by several CDA agents out of the door tech lab plastered a wide portion of the paper. Sullivan had cheated. Mike hadn't won. Randall had been right about him and Sullivan all along. Mike was a destined failure. Sullivan had gotten his come-uppance. Although realizing this gave him no pleasure at all. The Roars may have technically won the game, but he was still trash to them. He only felt worse. Hatred at Sullivan. Hatred at Mike. They had escaped. He was still here, empty, alone.
Randall ripped the paper in half before sprinting to the hotel.
That evening, Randall felt like he had hit rock bottom. Proverbially trapped. He was the laughing stock of the entire university and an insult to the rest of the scarers in the programme. The Roars had treated him as dirt, mocked him, made him their scapegoat and used him until he no longer fit or was required for their purposes. Sullivan had destroyed his reputation. Mike had betrayed him. He had nothing left there.
No longer did he feel like he should be a student at Monsters University. Neither did he want to be. He had realized that morning in the lecture theatre, that this mockery could very well carry on throughout the rest of his time there. He'd always be the 'cute lizard', the one with a 'love for hearts'. This could absolutely ruin the point of even obtaining a scarers major. How could he call himself a monster who could strike fear into the hearts of children with this noose hanging around his neck?
Hardscrabble's words echoed in his mind… 'If you're not scary, what kind of a monster are you?'
Sat hung over the bed, he closed his eyes in misery. He knew what needed to be done; wash his hands of this place, this lifestyle. Change his career, life purpose, surroundings. An engineer? He'd need a new major for that… no he had to completely forget it.
Out of options, he would do it. He was going to drop out of Monsters University.
He thought of his original daydream. Him, in Monsters Incorporated, the best scream company in the world, being somebody who everyone would look up to. Who everyone would want to be. The thought of this slipping away into darkness from his grasp saddened him immensely.
'You couldn't take the pressure anyway' the voice told him. He narrowed his eyes and sniffed, the tears appearing for the third time that day.
"NO!" He screamed, twisting and pounding his fist on the wall. "MONSTER UP! You weedy pathetic bastard." He bashed his head against the wall, ignoring the radiating hot pain from his skull. Panting, despite not using much effort, he dropped to the bed. He hugged himself with his limbs and tail. The pillow underneath him became damp from his tears. Finally, exhaustion overcame him and he slipped into a deep slumber.
Repeating yesterday morning's procedure, he stared into the mirror at the unrecognizable lizard monsters staring back at him. His eyes flared an even deeper red than before, almost streaking into his emerald iris.
Randall cursed his naivety. How he thought that he'd be accepted into the cliques so easily with just a couple of smiles and cupcakes. Maybe he'd been doomed from the start. He looked towards the bedroom quarters of the room. At least he was already packed.
Anxiety seized him, constricting his throat. Although he now believed he had no other choice other than to just give up on his scaring major, the disappointment of his parents, the mess of the paperwork and the look of the Dean as she heard him make his decision was an over-brewing torment to his otherwise heavy relief. There were fewer times than he could count on his hands when he had disappointed anybody and even then, they were trivial issues. The severity of this decision however terrified him.
His parents were nice enough, however after his sister decided to abandon university plans and go straight into work instead, they were intent on at least one Boggs gaining a higher education. His father was currently a partner in a mildly successful engineering business whilst his mother was a regional manager for a monster superstore. When he told them of his thoughts to attend Monsters University and major in scaring, they were thrilled, said for once it was a "relief to have more ambition in the family." Randall had felt pride hearing this, a grin lighting his face that was rather akin to a Christmas tree. However he also felt slight dismay.
Him and his sister had been rather close until she had been forced to move out by their parents. She was three years older than him; not too far apart to be 'friends'. Because of this, Randall had preferred to stay by her side throughout high school and not venture into unknown territory. Not too many friends came to mind when he thought about his high school days. Then, when she had left, he'd been vastly lonely. He became more withdrawn to the library instead of seeking more social contact. When he came to university, he promised himself he would be more outgoing.
'Look where that got you' he seethed at himself.
All he wanted right now was to leave and hide away from the disapproving looks of the world. The reflection staring back at him reminded him it was much more complicated than that.