What if? That is a question that usually hunts a person, especially if that person doubts the choices he or she made. For me, that question has been haunting me for the past six years. No one could have expected it, nobody could have known. That a simple refusal to help, could lead to somebody's greatest loss.
It was a dark and stormy night, and the trees were trying very hard to fight the storm; the roads were getting flooded, and the highway was very deserted. As I drive along the main road towards the intersection, I spotted a red car parked at the side of the road. As I neared the intersection, I saw a woman which I assumed was either black or brunette haired color get out of the car and waved her arms toward me. I drove beside the car and let my windshield dropped. I can vaguely make out what the woman was saying because of the storm.
"Can you please, help me? My tires are flat and I don't know how to change them. I also tried calling for the nearest car repair shop here but my call wouldn't get through ," the woman said for the second time.
I looked at her then at her car, and the prospect of getting muddy after a hectic day at work made me look up to her and smiled apologetically before saying,
"I'm sorry Miss, but I have an appointment to go to, so I won't be able to help you."
The woman looked disappointed and said her thanks before going back to her car, I almost asked her if she wanted a ride to the nearest hotel but was scared that she would take it the wrong way so I just left it at that. As I drove away, I had a nagging feeling that I just made a huge mistake.
The next day I woke up to the sound of my phone receiving a message, I blindly reached for it and read the message with my eyes half closed. It was a message from my best friend's sister, Aoi, asking me where I was, I replied saying that I was at home. The next message that Aoi sent, made me jump out of my bed, and rush to where she was.
I arrived at Natsume's house 30 minutes later, and was let in by Aoi.
"What happened!?" I asked Aoi as she closed the door, I turned towards her and was shocked to see her tear streaked face.
"It's oniichan; he received a call earlier from the General Hospital," Aoi took a deep breath and continued, "Its Mikan, oniichan's girlfriend she apparently came back yesterday and got into an accident."
I tried to steady my breathing as I listened to Aoi explain what had happen. I heard of Natsume's girlfriend but I never had the chance to meet her before. I heard that she left the country to further her studies, before Natsume could have the chance to introduce her to me after I returned back from my overseas trip, and Natsume never showed me any of her pictures because he thinks that the pictures he has could not give justice to what Mikan really looks like. My thoughts were interrupted by Aoi's next words.
"The tires of her car got flat last night at the main road near the intersection; she was stranded inside her car, and there was this truck-" Aoi stopped mid-way, trying to control her sobbing, "The driver lost control and the road was too slippery, the truck crashed straight to Mikan's car. The ambulance came, but she was pronounced dead on arrival"
It took me a few minutes before I could ask where Natsume was, Aoi pointed upwards, a sign meaning that he was upstairs in his room.
As I climbed the stairs, I was filled with fear. Fear that the woman that I refused to help, just because of my selfishness, might be the most important woman in my best friend's life. I reached Natsume's bedroom door, and I hesitated before I knocked, and opened the door.
My fears became a reality as I saw the woman's photo scattered all over the floor, and my friend sitting blankly in the middle of it all, his pain clearly visible in his crimson eyes. I felt my tears slide down my cheeks as I approached him, and all I could ask myself was,
"What if I helped her last night? Would she have survived? Would it have prevented the pain and guilt that I'm feeling now?"
However, as I crouched down in front of Natsume and squeezed his shoulder, all I could say was.
"I'm sorry"
