A/N Biowares sandbox, I just enjoy playtime. Dedicated to my muse and editor Emily to whom words cannot do justice. Also FINAL CHAPTER can't believe I finally finished it, it only took three years!
Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed you all made my days a little brighter and I love you all :)
"Shepard, your hands?" Kasumi hissed as they stood outside the cherry tree garden below the council chambers.
"Right, right. Thanks." Shepard repositioned her hands around her bouquet such that her left lay under her right, obscuring the ring that now sat there. As she traced the ring with the tips of her fingers, she felt an impossible smile bloom on her face. She was a married woman.
The garden was absolutely packed with an array of finely dressed people. Shepard wasn't really able to distinguish any individuals before the various cameras and holoimagers started going off in her face.
Kaidan, when her eyes finally adjusted enough that she could actually see him, was standing at a cool parade rest up by the Asari priestess. As she got closer, she noticed that unusually his right hand was closed over his left, presumably in order to hide his own ring. He smiled at her once she'd reached him but otherwise didn't move.
"Hi," she said in a parody of their earlier greeting under similar circumstances.
"Hey," he replied in turn. "And still wow."
"Shall I begin?" the Asari priestess asked and then, after their nods to the affirmative, she launched into her speech. Their ceremony had been created by mixing the traditions of all council races. It had been deemed politically expedient at the time. Shepard didn't pay too much attention to the ceremony itself. Mostly, because she was too busy staring at her new husband while her brain continually screamed HOLY FUCK WE'RE MARRIED.
There were some words she had to say, which were flowery and poetic and way over the top, and for some reason, Kaidan had to drive a wicked looking serrated blade into some sort of special stand. She had no idea why and didn't really care.
When it came to the ring exchange, the 'human' part of the ceremony, they clasped left hands and Joker stepped forward with the empty ring bag held very visibly in his hand. Joker positioned himself in such a way as to block their hands from the camera and holoimagers and they both mumbled 'with this ring, I thee wed' again to make it look convincing. If the Asari priestess thought it was odd, she thankfully didn't say anything.
After, there were pictures, so many pictures that Shepard's cheeks soon started to ache from all the smiling. Someone pushed a drink into her hand. She drank it. It was fruity. There were a seemingly endless number of diplomats to talk to. Now and then, Shepard caught a glimpse of Asha herding people around in accordance to some plan or algorithm or something that Shepard wasn't privy to and didn't particularly want to be. Kaidan and the rest of her crew had long since been pulled from her side and into the throng, but every now and then her eyes would find his, and she couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face when they did.
Eventually, they were pushed together and sat at the table. It wasn't until the smell of food reached her nostrils that she realised just how hungry she was. Sadly for her stomach, the food was of the posh variety. As in, aesthetically pleasing, but with little in the way of substance. It was delicious, but gone in seconds.
Then they were herded onto the dance floor to perform the dance routine that Asha had drilled into Shepard during the many many many rehearsals she had insisted upon. It would have been a nice opportunity to talk, or at least time to enjoy being in his arms, were it not for a) the thousands of cameras and spectators and b) the fact that the only way Shepard managed to perform the dance was by reading his physical cues.
It was like being in combat. In a hot zone she could tell, by the movement of his body, the tension in particular limbs, where he was moving to or what his plan was. The dance was no different, using the same skills she could tell by the way he moved, by the tension in particular limbs where he expected her to be or where she should be moving to. Problem was it required some kind of concentration, so no time for talking or enjoyment.
After the dance, there were more diplomats, more photos as the music volume and alcohol consumption increased exponentially.
Then, quite suddenly, Shepard looked up and it was just them.
Well, not quite just. Kaidan was still talking to some old lady who seemed intent on addressing him only as 'dear boy', and the various clean-up crews were picking their way across the debris while giving the crew those particular nervous, shifty looks. The particular kind of look that indicated that they didn't want to tell the legendary Normandy crew what to do, but at the same time were not happy about what said crew were doing.
Taking the hint Shepard stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply as soon as Kaidan had escorted the old lady to the door.
"So, good day everyone?" Shepard said brightly, as soon as they had assembled around her.
"Not enough fist fighting," Wrex grumbled.
"And too many rich fuckers," Jack added. "One of those old biddies threatened to knit me a sweater!"
"I think she was offering, not threatening, Jack," Miranda replied.
"Don't fucking start, cheerleader."
"What was with all the photos and holoimagers?" Tali piped up. "Your wedding will be broadcast from virtually every angle!"
"And there was no cake," Garrus whined. "I saw cake. It was huge. But I didn't get any. I thought there'd be cake."
"And not enough romance," Kasumi insisted.
"And definitely not enough food," Kaidan interjected, appearing at Shepard's side and wrapping an arm around her waist.
"I agree with you there, Maj," Vega said.
"I could eat," Traynor added.
"I know a good burger joint around the corner," Jack suggested.
"Dextro friendly?" Garrus queried.
"Sure."
"A burger sounds really good," Miranda added.
There were general nods of agreement and then, as one they turned to Shepard.
"I'm game." She shrugged. "Let's go!"
And that was how they came to take over the small burger joint around the corner. Heedless of the other patrons, they re-arranged the tables such that they made one large table in the centre around which they could all sit.
Kaidan headed back from the counter and dropped the tray containing her double bacon cheeseburger in front of her. She was sure nothing had ever smelled so good in all her life. Both of her lives. She immediately popped the container open, took the burger in both hands and took a giant bite.
And the barbeque sauce promptly splattered down her dress.
Kaidan burst out laughing. Across the table, Garrus looked up at the sound, saw Shepard trying desperately to scoop the sauce up with her fingers and began laughing in turn. Pretty soon, the entire table was laughing at their sauce-splattered leader.
"Oh, shut up all of you," she snapped good-naturedly, accepting the napkin from Kaidan's outstretched hand.
"Frankly, I'm surprised you kept it clean for as long as you did, Shepard," Miranda drawled, stifling her laughter.
"Yeah, and there hasn't been an emergency or an explosion all day," Joker added, taking another bite of his burger. "Fancy that!"
Shepard froze, her hand instantly gravitating towards the pistol hidden on her hip. In her peripheral vision, she caught Kaidan reaching into his jacket to retrieve his own pistol. The entire table went complete silent, sharing panicked looks.
"There's no reports of any criminal activity," Tali said, omni-tool active.
"Nothing on the C-Sec comms either," Garrus added, mirroring Tali's pose. Shepard nodded, accepting and trusting the information but her hand didn't move from her pistol.
"Husband, dearest, I think it's time we left for our honeymoon. Like, right now" she said.
"Good idea," he agreed. They made a hasty exit from the burger joint and more or less ran to the transport hub, certain that they were operating on borrowed time.
"Take care of yourselves," Shepard said once they reached the hub, giving out hugs, handshakes and high fives as appropriate.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't," Kasumi trilled, hugging Shepard back.
As Shepard boarded the shuttle and turned to wave one last goodbye to the crew, the inevitable explosion hit.
Kaidan sighed heavily. "Well, we had a good run," he said, mechanically checking his pistol.
"And at least my dress is already ruined," she added, doing the same.
Together they jumped back off the shuttle.
"All right everyone," Shepard began. "Split into your teams and move out!"
The crew obeyed immediately, checking weapons and falling into line.
"We're going on honeymoon after this right?" Kaidan murmured as they jogged along the walkway. She shot him a smile over her shoulder.
"Oh, definitely."