(A/N: This chapter helps explain a lot about Sherlock's "different" behavior, why he is the way he is in this story. I hope that it makes sense and clarifies his logic behind what might seem a bit OOC for him at times with Victoria and their relationship. In other news, I finished writing chapter 13 today. Since I'm also very busy with my second book edits for my published works, it might be a while before I get chapter 14 or further written. So long as there is an interested audience here, I'll continue to work on this story in as much of my free time as I can though. Please leave reviews on this chapter plus let me know if you'd like me to go ahead and post chapter 13 ASAP or wait a little bit since you know I won't be able to get out another update for a bit with my publication deadlines. I'll leave it up to you readers since I do this for fun and for your benefit. :-) I look forward to your reviews and input. As always, your feedback is what keeps me writing fanfic for fun, so reviews are the best thing you can give back!)

Chapter 12 – Be Like This

"Molly, could you hand me the skin tissue slide?" She did so without a word, and I studied it carefully under the microscope, barely noticing the buzzing in the room.

"Sherlock?"

"Hm?"

"Isn't that your phone?"

Adjusting the magnification on the microscope, I heard the buzz again, definitely coming from my pocket. "Yes. Indeed it is. Could you get that?"

"It's in your pocket."

I sighed. "Yes, but I'm quite busy at the moment, Molly. This case won't solve itself, and certainly no one else can do it."

She pulled my phone from my pocket and looked at it rather quizzically. "It's a series of texts."

Rolling my eyes, I went back to studying the sample. "Read them."

"The first one says, 'Had some free time. Moving a few things over now.' The next says, 'Second bedroom isn't very big. Mind if I put an extra dresser in your bedroom?' Then, 'I'll need some closet space too.' The last one says, 'Is that a no or have you disappeared on a case again?' Sherlock, what's going on?"

"Text back, and say, 'Move your things into my room, and put extras in the second room. Logical order of progression dictates this will save time later.' Oh, and add three small x at the end before sending. Thank you, Molly. That should suffice." Noticing she didn't move to type the text I dictated, I turned away from my work, and found her staring at me. "What's the matter?"

Molly's mouth frustratingly fell open then closed a few more times before she found words. "Nothing. I just… That… That sounded an awful lot like… Well, that sounded like what someone would say to their girlfriend moving in, so it was just a bit odd."

"Did you even look at my contact ID for the text before reading them? Honestly, Molly." I shook my head, rather disappointed she missed Victoria's name and the hearts she'd added in my contacts for herself, hearts I'd only left in because I wasn't at all embarrassed she was my girlfriend. I was actually quite proud of the fact.

"Oh. Well, that's sweet you did that."

"She did it. I simply left it. I don't mind." But I smiled, taking my phone back from Molly, entering the text she still hadn't sent, and then turned the screen to show Molly the photo of me with Victoria. It was that photo, the one from the past weekend, the night I knew I loved her, the night I asked her to move in with me, nearly a week ago.

"Still…" She brushed her hand across her face, fingers swiping at her eye as she turned her head, and that's when I noticed.

I should have noticed earlier. I'd been in the lab for hours. However, my mind remained preoccupied with solving the case of the moment and returning home to continue preparing for Victoria taking permanent residence at Baker Street.

"He's a bloody idiot."

"What?" Molly appeared confused by the change of subject.

"Tom. He's a right bloody git for cheating on you. I know I've said quite terrible things in the past, but I was wrong, Molly Hooper. I'm sorry to see your engagement broken off because, truth be told, if someone as arrogant an arse as myself can find love, then certainly someone as kind and loyal such as you is even more deserved of such a thing. Given all the possible infinities in the universe, one must hold a lifetime of happiness belonging to you."

Quite unexpectedly, I found myself with my arms full of a crying pathologist, tears dampening the shoulder of my suit jacket, her fingers with a death grip on my upper arms. At first, I did nothing, didn't move, too stunned at what events were taking place. Molly was crying on me. I'd deduced her broken engagement, said appropriately nice things, and she began crying on me.

It occurred to me that I was her friend. Molly was grieving the loss of what she had perceived to be 'the one' and needed comfort. She was looking to me to provide some form of solace and support in this situation, to sympathize with her pain.

Sympathy? I had never been good with sympathy.

But my mind quickly ventured to the dark thoughts of Victoria and Lucas. What if he had been more than her best friend? What if he had turned out to be her lover after I'd placed so much trust in her sincerity and faithfulness?

I would have been devastated, inconsolable.

And I wrapped my arms around Molly, holding her until her crying subsided, saying nothing, yet being there as her friend.

After a bit, she pushed herself away, still sniffling, yet her expression wore something other than sadness, something I couldn't quite deduce in Molly. "Why? Why couldn't you be this way before?"

Anger.

However, her question left me utterly confused. "Before what?"

"Are you honestly that daft, Sherlock?" She dabbed the last of the tears from her eyes, far too angry to cry anymore. "Why couldn't you be like this for me before Tom, before you found another girlfriend?"

"Another girlfriend? Molly, I've never had a girlfriend other than Victoria, so she hardly qualifies as another girlfriend."

Then she stopped, the anger slipping from her features as we both realized what she meant.

A girlfriend other than Molly. The girlfriend Molly had always wanted to be in my life.

"Molly, it would be best for all involved if I clarify that I never considered the potential for any forms of personal relationships and certainly did not venture into the development of such purposefully. John was only ever intended to be my flatmate, nothing more, never someone I cared about, most definitely not a friend. I honestly believed in what my brother taught me, that sentiment was a chemical defect found on the losing side and to hold sentiment for anyone would be a weakness. Never did I consider that the people who would stand beside me through the best and worst of times would be so strong that they themselves would be strengths of mine when I was found to be weak in some way. Their sentiment for me, and in return, mine for them, would be what prevented me from being found on the losing side in more than one situation, most importantly, everything involving Moriarty."

"Sherlock—"

"Don't interrupt me, Molly. I'm not finished." At that, she took a seat, though she looked rather less than patient, and allowed me to continue. "Since I've returned after my fake suicide, it has grown ever clearer how important the relationships I'd unintentionally developed are to me, how deeply I wanted them and missed them whilst away. However, things have changed. Everyone has moved on with their lives … without me. John has Mary, and together, they have a child coming. I came to the harsh realization at their wedding that I would be more alone than not, that the flat I'd once shared with John would feel cavernous and empty, as would my life, though it never had before. And so, along with that realization, I also realized I too wanted someone to love the way John loves Mary and someone to love me the way Mary loves John. I have friends. I see that now, but I want more."

I turned back to the microscope, hoping that sufficed in answering her questions.

"Why couldn't I be more? Clearly, you deduced everything wrong with Tom, so why not me, Sherlock? You know how I've always felt about you." Her voice was soft, yet the point concisely made.

Remaining silent for a moment, I finished examining the slide then faced her again. "That reason precisely. I knew how you felt about me. You've long been in love with the idea of me, the fantasy of whom or what you think I'd be as a romantic partner; therefore, a romantic relationship was the last thing I wanted to enter into with you. Should I not be what you expected, fail to live up to those fantasies you've long held, it would not simply be a matter of a failed romantic dalliance, Molly. I would be risking ruining one of my few friendships, one I hold dearest next to John. I meant it when I said you matter. You matter far too much for me to take that risk, particularly because I know I am not the man you think you're in love with, and I never have been."

A lone tear slid down her cheek, and I considered wiping it away, but I thought better of it. I did cause it, and it was better if I left it alone.

"How do you know?"

"Because we've been friends for too long. You expect that I'd change if I were to fall in love with you, but I wouldn't. I've grown too used to taking you for granted at times and taking advantage of your good graces and using all the little tricks I've learnt to get what I want from you. Perhaps I'd do it less, but we both know bad habits are hard to break, and I wouldn't stop. It certainly wouldn't be right of me," I admitted. "Everything with Victoria is new and has happened the old-fashioned way, falling into place naturally. Yes, at first, I tried to deduce her and treat the matter of dating like a case, but after our first kiss, it felt wrong to do so. I don't treat her the way I've treated anyone else in my life. Ever. And because of that, I'm genuinely happy and in love with her the way I don't think I could be with anyone else."

Molly nodded, seeming to understand better. "Because she doesn't bear the scars of knowing the 'before' Sherlock that the rest of us do…"

I grimaced, her words all-too true.

"Yes. Not yet anyway, and I hope those ways have softened enough that she doesn't become hurt by them anytime soon."

Though I wasn't foolish to think I'd never hurt Victoria in any way, I never wanted to intentionally, and I vowed to try my hardest to make it right when I inevitably did.