A/N: As a reminder, this weird version of Star Trek is based on my life, so there's no telling what will happen because life is unpredictable.
Ode to A Starship by Lina Shay
Chapter Thirty-Three: Cherish What We Had
The time was near at hand. I watched day by day at my astrometrics station as Earth got closer. Suddenly, the time was upon us. We docked into Utopia Planetia. I had so much to do before my family arrived to take me back to Bajor. I had so much to do. As much as I needed to do other things, I couldn't help but seek out my friends. I went to Sisma and B'Liz's quarters.
"Guess what I got!" Sisma exclaimed and pointed at a box with data screen on it.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's a television," Sisma giggled. "Earth people used to use them for entertainment. What was once really popular among them was moving drawings from Japan? It's kind of like a holonovel, but you just watch."
"Weird," I muttered.
"Come, watch with us," Sisma insisted.
I agreed to it. Who knows how it happened, but we watched that television for ten hours. I was surprised by how addicting the thing was. When there was an action-packed scene, we screamed and jumped up and down. When something sad or romantic would happen in the story, Sisma and I would hold onto each other. At one point, I spent some time brushing out Sisma's long, silver hair.
Jala joined us a couple time, leaving and then coming back. At the end of the show, Sisma turned off the television and we all stood in the darkness, still staring at the screen. It was passed zero-three-hundred hours and I still had so much to accomplish.
"I can't believe you aren't going to be around anymore," Jala said to me.
I glanced down at the floor.
"You've always been here, even when there was leave," she went on.
She started crying, and I noticed that Sisma's eyes were teary too. I pasted an awkward smile on my face. It was the one I used when I didn't know how to react, or I wanted to fight off an emotion.
"Well, keep in contact, right?" I asked.
"Yes, but you had better come to see me before you disembark tomorrow," Sisma demanded. "Even if I'm asleep. Come and wake me up."
I nodded, glad that they cared so much. Jala and I said our goodnights, and then headed to our own quarters.
"I'm going to miss you," Jala told me.
I half-smiled. It's what I do. I thought it better not to admit to my emotions. It wasn't to hide them from people. It was just to protect myself from those feelings. It isn't often that I let out my emotions in front of people. I sometimes feel insensitive because of it. I do feel those feelings, even if I don't always show it.
I told Jala goodnight and then ducked into my quarters. When I was finally alone, I felt this cholking in my chest and my stomach got ill.
I couldn't sleep. I wasn't tired. I don't know quite why. When I was a child, I used to think that if I never went to bed, I would never wake up. And if I didn't wake up, the next day couldn't begin. So if I just stayed awake, that night could last forever. It was silly and it caused problems in school. Now, I am older and wiser. But I wonder if deep down, I still believe it.
I took the time to pack some of my things that I hadn't be abel to pack before. I had so much to do. I wished I could stay up all night and do it, but I couldn't risk it. I didn't know what would happen. I had never gone on zero sleep before and the next day was going to be very hectic.
As I layed alone in my bed, I started to cry. This ship had been my home for so long. I had really felt like I belonged here. I just couldn't believe it was being decommissioned and that I was actually leaving Starfleet. I couldn't believe that these friends who had become practically family to me were no longer going to be around everyday. It didn't seem quite fair that we had to go our separate ways. I could no longer punch B'Liz when I felt playful. I could no longer talk to Sisma when I was feeling sad so she can cheer me with her silliness. I could no longer flirt with Darren when I was bored. I could no longer embarrass Hannah by acting totally crazy in the mess hall. All these things and people who I have come to love so dearly were no longer going to be within reach. Those friends have given my life meaning this semester. They have cheered and guided me. They have tolerated and understood me. They have hugged and fed me. They have pulled me through the hardest thing I have ever gone through and have helped me make the biggest decision of my life thus far. I have not found accomplishment. I have not found the man of my dreams. I have not found great treasures of knowledge. I have not even found myself. But I have found some of the truest friends I will ever have. They were always there for me, and I will always love them for it. They have meant more to me than they will ever know. I hope the prophets smile upon them and lead them into pathes of greatest happiness.
A/N: The chapter is short, but I figured this was a good place to end it. Don't worry. This isn't the real end of the story. I will try to continue to write chapters until I go on my mission. Thank you guys so much for everything!