Final
Fanatic
Chapter
7: "NOT THE FACE!"
We last left our heroes/heroines running away from Knuckles the Echidna. The red mobian was still yelling out threats and trying to launch several special attacks at them.
"WE SAID WE WERE SORRY!" Kris yelled.
"He's really not listening!" Mona shouted as they continued running before spotting a city that conveniently had a huge colloseum in the middle.
Sephiroth's eyes suddenly narrowed before glancing at the echidna. "Okay…I am SICK and TIRED of running so…" He immediately came to a halt and forced one of his hands forwards. "DECEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!"
KA-BOOOM!
Of course after the huge explosion, Knuckles was hurtled a far distance over the horizon, disappearing like the Piranha Plant had earlier. The four characters behind the silver haired bishounen stared bug eyed.
"Wow…I've heard of him doing that in Kingdom Hearts…" Mona commented. "Never thought I'd see him do that."
"That…was…SO COOL!" Kris squealed before glomping Sephiroth.
"Let…go!" Sephiroth growled, his face oddly turning a shade of pink. The brunette slunk in closer and smiled.
"Aw…is the big and mighty Sephie-kins BLUSHING!" Mona grinned causing Sephiroth to twitch and shoot her a glare with his icy blue eyes.
"DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!"
(Another huge explosion and Mona getting flung into the air saying: "I REGRET NOTHING!" before crashing onto the ground)
It was dusk by the time Chaos-0 had absorbed the green chaos emerald to temporarily evolve into Chaos-1 (his larger form) so he could carry around the half-conscious teenager who was twitching every now and then. Choco walked next to him, keeping a wary eye on its 'mom'.
"You really didn't have to do that Sephiroth…" Chaos-1 muttered aloud.
"She was asking for it…" Sephiroth retorted as Kris walked in front. "The only reason why I was traveling with these two morons is…"
"…because you care about her?" The guardian commented. "Well…Mona did see you blushing when Kris hugged you…"
"Oh shut up water-fiend…" Sephiroth grumbled, turning a bit reddish as he faced forwards.
"Alright…fine…" Chaos-1 merely shook his head before muttering to himself. "…jerk's in denial…"
"I HEARD THAT!" Sephiroth shouted before the Green Chaos Emerald in Chaos-1's right arm started glowing. "What's with your arm?"
Mona, somehow regaining her senses, leaped off Chaos-1 and grabbed the Emerald. "There's a Chaos Emerald nearby!" She announced with glee.
"Uh…maybe you should've left it in there." Chaos-1, now Chaos-0, said worriedly.
Kris walked back towards the group in order to see the situation better. "Another Chaos Emerald?"
"Indeed my friend!" Mona grinned. "It's so close I could feel it-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Everyone stared as they watched Mona keeping a good grip on the Chaos Emerald as it flew in a direction.
"Okay…that was just weird…" Kris said aloud before Choco frantically ran after Mona.
"WARK-WARK-WARK…!" The Chocobo continued crying out before it went out of earshot.
The remaining three stood in place a bit stunned before running after the brunette and Chocobo. The chase after Mona and the flying Chaos Emerald lasted at least a few minutes before the brunette crashed headfirst into the Colusseum wall, still clutching the Chaos Emerald.
WHAM!
"Ow…"
Kris ran over to Mona and tried to peel her friend off the wall with little success.
"Are you okay Mona!" Kris asked worriedly.
"It depends on what you call 'okay'." The brunette replied with her voice slightly muffled before Sephiroth successfully tugged her off like a sticker.
"Hey, don't say I didn't warn you." Chaos-0 muttered before picking up the Chaos Emerald and reforming back into Chaos-1. Kris suddenly looked up to see the poster which Mona had collided with earlier.
"Interesting… it's a tournament to see who the best fighter is." Kris said aloud. "And the grand prize for surviving all the rounds is the Navy Chaos Emerald."
"AWESOME! WE'VE GOT TO ENTER!" Mona shouted, a bit ecstatic.
"Um…weren't you writhing in pain earlier?" Sephiroth asked.
"Does that matter right now…?" The brunette muttered before seeing that Kris was staring at the poster. "Uh…Kris, are you okay!"
"Vega…" Kris droned.
"Ve-wha!" Mona stared at the poster to see a whole bunch of the Street Fighter 2 characters. Exasperated, she narrowed her eyes. "Oh…him."
"Who's Vega?" Chaos-1 asked as Kris was droning 'Vega' over and over again.
"Another video game character that Kris is obsessed with." Mona replied before seeing Sephiroth glowering at the image of Vega. "Uh…you're not jealous are you?"
Sephiroth snapped out of his killer trance and shook his head before standing up proudly. "Me! Jealous! Ha! What makes you think THAT?"
"Never mind…" Mona sighed before walking to the poster and pulling it down. "The tournament is supposed to start tomorrow…which means we can stay here until it opens and register you two in."
"US?" Sephiroth and Chaos-1 yelped.
"No…the other silver haired bishounen and water monster. YES YOU TWO!" Mona said with sarcasm in her voice.
"Why don't you two enter?" Sephiroth asked.
"Because you promised to travel with us until we get out of this video game." The brunette grinned. "And you guys have something we don't: POWERS!"
"Crap." Both characters muttered simultaneously before Mona saw Kris was staring at the poster she was holding up. Pausing, she moved the poster in a direction only to have Kris' eyes follow. Eyes narrowing, she pulled it away and rolled it up so Vega's image was concealed and Kris snapped out of her daze.
"Whoa! What! What just happened!" Kris held her head like a Psyduck's and tried to get her head clear.
"You were drooling over Vega." Mona glared, stuffing the relatively small poster in her pocket before realization hit her yet again. "I didn't say that…"
"Vega…Vega…Vega…Vega…" Kris smiled, dazed again. Mona's eye twitched before she promptly imitated a Samurai failure rite by smacking the rolled up poster into her face and falling over.
The next morning…
"Alright…how the heck can there be a huge line when we were in front at the counter to begin with!" Mona yelled. "This game is RIGGED!"
Indeed, the group was at the back of the line which consisted of 100 challengers and spectators. Kris was back to her normal self and was trying to calm the teenager down.
"C'mon Mona...you can wait…"
"WAIT Who's at the front of this stupid line anyway!" She yelled. "Okay…hold my spot, I'll be right back!"
Well…it took her a while before seeing it was a Slowpoke which was taking its time raising its hand up to receive its ticket.
"Oh…hell…" Mona's teeth clenched before storming back to her place which she saw was occupied by bodybuilder Zook (from Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness). "Hey! That's my spot!" She protested angrily.
"Not anymore!" Zook grinned before releasing his Shadow Zangoose. "I welcome you to try and take it."
That was when Mona fully snapped under pressure and one could see her eyes turning a deadly white as they twitched. "Okay…that's does it!"
WHAM!
Zook and his Shadow Zangoose were immediately sent flying into the horizon before Mona retook her spot and started breathing in and out trying to calm herself down enough to think reasonably.
"Uh…are you going to be okay?" Kris asked nervously.
"There's…a SLOWPOKE…at the front of the line…" She hissed.
"Um…that's a bit of a rude name to call someone." Chaos-1 said aloud.
"No…there's a Slowpoke as in the pre-evolution of Slowbro and Slowking in front of the line." Mona glared.
"Oh…"
"Is that why it's taking so long!" Sephiroth growled. "You know…we've been in line for at least three hours and my patience is wearing thin so…"
The group, understanding where this was going, ducked behind the bishounen.
"DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!"
(Another huge explosion and the spectators in front, including the Slowpoke are sent flying)
"Well…we could've done THAT in the first place." Mona grumbled before they walked towards the entrance past the injured and unconscious game characters Sephiroth had blown up.
The group walked up to the registration desk where a bored-looking woman sat leisurely chewing on a large wad of purple gum which kept making snapping sounds. She didn't give a second look to either Chaos or Sephiroth.
"Hello, our friends would like to sign up for the tournament." Kris said, gesturing to the bishie and water monster.
Snap went the girl's gum as she handed them two clipboards with papers attached. "Fill these out and sign the legal papers underneath."
"Legal papers?" Sephiroth asked.
Snap
The silver-haired bishounen twitched at the sound, and then read the legal paper, "… I the undersigned hereby enter this tournament of my own free will and comprehend all the risks I will take upon entry and waiver responsibility of my life from the Tournament Committee and the Game Company whether I am killed, maimed, destroyed, have my soul sucked into another dimension for all eternity, etcetera, or have my weapons broken, set against me, destroyed beyond repair, etcetera, or receive any injuries that will result in permanent disabilities, deformations, or fatal illnesses, etcetera, caused by physical weapons, mental kinesis, or magic, etcetera…"
Snap (Sephiroth twitches) "You get hurt, you can't sue us."
"Oh, okay!" Chaos naively signs.
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this!" Mona grumbled to herself.
"Come on Sephie sign it! You can't lose." Kris hugged his muscular arm.
Snap
"That's it… DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!"
(Another huge explosion and the girl at the desk was sent flying, gum and all.)
"Was that really necessary?" Chaos asked.
"Yes," Sephiroth grabbed their tickets from behind the desk and entered the Collusseum.
"Holy Miltank!" exclaimed Mona. Hundreds of fighters, warriors, even Pokemon, and Digimon were gathered at the massive Collusseum, training and practicing for the coming event. "Well, hopefully there'll be a preliminary round to eliminate the light-weights, right Kris? ... Kris?"
Mona's friend turned out to be staring at one of the fighters with little hearts floating above her head (which Choco pecked at curiously). Following the blonde's gaze, Mona found a lithe but muscular fighter who wore only blue and gold tights with a red sash tied around his waist. He also had long braided blonde hair, a white mask, a claw on his right hand, and a purple snake tattoo that wrapped around his chest. The masked fighter did a couple of fancy back flips, followed by a leap in the air for an aerial attack. SLASH! His opponent was down. His chest glistening with sweat, the victorious fighter removed his mask, revealing the beautiful face of Vega.
"Show off." mumbled Sephiroth.
Of course the sight of a sweaty, half-naked bishie was too much for Kris to handle, Thud!
"She fainted!" said Chaos.
"She didn't even do that with me!" Sephiroth suddenly wailed. Mona, Chaos, and Choco stared at the silver haired bishie with wide eyes. Sephiroth coughed, "Uh, not that I care…"
"Riiiiight…" Mona looked over her friend, "Kris? You okay?"
"Bishie overload." Kris mumbled in a monotone voice. "Total shutdown, preparing to reboot…" and Choco still pecked at the little floating hearts above her head.
"Kristen, would you please…" Mona grimaced before getting Kris back into a standing position and suddenly shaking her like a bottle of chocolate milk. All they could see of Kris was a blur of colored pixels (remember it's a video game they're in) going up-down, left-right, or something of a combination of the four. "SNAPOUT OF IT!"
"AH-Mona-stop-shaking-me-I'm-FINE!" Kris yelled before Mona stopped shaking her and placed her down (note: tall for a 14 year old). Wobbling, the blonde tried to stand up straight. "You didn't have to do that you know…"
"Well…I'm going to have to do it again if you continue going through that 'Bishie-overload'-thing…" Mona replied indifferently before footsteps caught their attention and the group spotted Vega walking towards them.
Sephiroth glowered at the other bishounen feeling slightly envious of how hearts were floating above Kris's head once Vega stood in front of them.
"Welcome fellow travelers," Vega turned to Kris. "And hello beautiful young lady…"
Kristen almost swooned before Mona discreetly stomped on the nearest foot.
"Hi…" Kris said once she overcame the sudden pain.
Vega glanced at Sephiroth (completely ignoring Chaos-1) and smirked. "How strange how an angel like herself wound up with a clone." Sephiroth restrained the urge to draw his Masamune as Vega turned back to Kris and Mona. Mona, due to her knowing Vega was a villain in the anime, held firm.
"That stupid blonde pussy…who's he calling a clone?" Sephiroth twitched.
"So…I take it you're competing as well." Mona said out loud.
"Indeed," Vega smiled. "I see you're the two users that got brought here."
"News travels quickly in game world does it?" The brunette asked as Chaos-1 stepped up next to her. Vega glanced at the green chaos emerald in the right arm only to hear a low growl from the water beast.
"I don't trust him…" Chaos-1 muttered to the human as Vega turned towards Kris and went in front of her.
"I don't either, Chaos." Mona replied under her breath before glancing at Sephiroth who had a demonic background behind him with lightning bolts that caused many competitors to shudder. Choco crowed loudly in fear before ducking behind Mona.
"W-w-wark…"
"It's okay Choco…" Mona whispered, petting it. "Mr. Dark and Demonic is just…err…jealous…"
"I'M NOT JEALOUS!" Sephiroth roared causing Mona and Choco to yelp and dive behind Chaos-1.
"Shutting up…"
"Wark…"
"Beautiful young maiden…for you I shall win this tournament…" He said seductively as the hearts floated above Kristen's head once again.
"Oh…Vega…" She droned before Mona's eye twitched and side-glanced Sephiroth's Masamune.
Sephiroth suddenly noticed that his sword was gone from his sheath and that Mona had raised the blunt end over the blonde's head.
BONG!
Kristen fell backwards, unconscious, before Mona shoved the sword back to Sephiroth and waved him and Chaos-1 off.
"Okay you two, good luck!" She said as she dragged her friend along the ground with Choco following close behind.
"Wookie-woo…"
Sephiroth switched his attention back to Vega and gave the Street Fighter a sharp glare with his blue eyes. Vega had an evil smirk before he walked off, his back towards the FF7/KH character as well as the Chaos Monster. Chaos-1 glanced at Sephiroth and paused for a moment before saying one question out loud: "Are you sure you're not jealous?"
"I'M PERFECTLY SURE YOU IDIOT!" Sephiroth snapped before heading towards one of the benches which he and Chaos were assigned to (along with the others).
"Sheesh, I was just asking…" Chaos-1 muttered.
Meanwhile, as Sephiroth was fuming and Mona was trying to snap Kristen out of her Bishie-Overload, Vega had gone into a secluded area near the back entrance. Looking left and right, he drew out a cell-phone and dialed a number.
"Yes…what is it Vega?" The dark and booming voice answered from the other end.
"The two humans and their three allies have arrived at the Tournament."
"Ah, very good…you know what to do…"
"Indeed…I'll be sure to grab that-…"
Before Vega could finish his sentence, the light was switched on showing a very confused janitor which meant the blonde Spaniard was having a private call in the Janitor's Closet.
"¡Salga aquí de usted del idiota¡Estoy haciendo una llamada telefónica privada!(1)" Vega shouted in not-so-fluent Spanish (clamping his hand over the receiver) before the Janitor bolted out and shut the light off in the process. Vega shook his head in disgust before resuming his call. "Sorry about that sir, as I was saying: I'll be sure to grab that Chaos Emerald before the Tournament ends, as well as the prize Chaos Emerald…"
"You're being repetitive…at any rate, I shall be there shortly to provide assistance if you fail…" The booming voice muttered before the line clicked off.
Vega shrugged to himself before putting his mask back on and went to open the door…
Of course it had accidentally locked when the janitor left…
"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!"
---
Meanwhile, Chaos-1 was the first to walk onto the battle platform. It immediately heard the cheers from both fan girls (Kris had gotten back into focus) and the Chocobo.
Pausing, it faced its opponent…
Apparently Zook and Zangoose were up first, and they weren't too happy.
"Alright, I got kicked by a girl…and I'm going to make sure you're nothing but a puddle when I'm done with you!" Zook snarled before he sent out Shadow Zangoose. It hissed and arched its back fiercely while the Chaos Monster did nothing but stand in place. "NOW SHADOW ZANGOOSE, SHADOW RUSH!"
The Zangoose began to glow a dangerous purple color before lunging at Chaos-1 with one of its claws outstretched.
SPLAH-!
Everyone stared with blank looks on their faces when they saw Zangoose immobilized inside Chaos-1. Chaos-1 looked down at the Pokemon with half-lidded eyes before literally spitting it out…directly at Zook…
WHAM!
"AND ZANGOOSE IS DOWN!" The game announcer cheered as Zook grimaced and forced Zangoose back into its Pokéball.
"Alright…that's it…" He growled before throwing out four Pokemon: Doduo, Relicanth, Carvanha, and Seviper. "I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH FOUR POKEMON AT ONCE!" At once, all four of the pocket monsters charged.
"You have GOT to be kidding me…" Chaos-1 muttered before bouncing them directly at the Cipher Grunt…
CRASH!
…which meant Zook was in a lot of pain…
The entire crowd in the stadium cheered as Zook was carried off in a stretcher by two Chansey and Chaos-1 lumbered back to his seat.
Back in the stands, Mona had finished cheering on Chaos-1 "Well, that didn't take long, did it Kris… Kris?" Mona looked around. "Where'd she go?"
"Wark?" Choco cocked his head to the side, pointing in the direction where Kris went, the concession stand.
Mona glanced over. "Oh, no…"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF CHEEZY PRETZELS!" Kris yelled at the snack bar guy, who was cowering under the crazy-girl's twitching glare.
Mona ran over, grabbed the girl and dragged her away, "I can't go anywhere with you,"
"I WANT CHEEZY PRETZELS!" Kris yelled as she was dragged back to her seat.
"Forget pretzels, your Sephie is about to fight," Mona sat her friend next to Choco.
"Sephie!" Kris immediately perked up and stared lovingly at the battle platform.
Down on the battle platform, Sephiroth was ready for battle, his Materia ready and sword in hand. There was only one problem… he had no opponent. 'Looks like Blondie couldn't make it,' Sephiroth thought.
Back in the secluded area near the back entrance, loud bangs and Spanish cursing could be heard coming from behind the locked janitor's closet door. "LET ME OUT! I HAVE A FIGHT TO GET TO!"
"Now this is an interesting turn of events," said the game announcer, which was loud enough for Vega to hear. "It appears that one of our most popular fighters, Vega, is late for his own fight. If he doesn't appear soon, he'll automatically forfeit the match."
"Not in this lifetime," Vega growled, he wasn't going to allow a clone get in his way of the championship, even one that was hot… sexy… not to mention having a nice as— "AUGH! Yaoi thoughts! Get them out! Get them out!" Vega banged his head repeatedly (he had his mask on, so no injuries to his face) on the door, which unexpectedly broke off its hinges from his head-banging's, making him fall forward.
"AHH!"
CRASH
"…I'm okay…" he said in a dazed voice.
Vega did eventually make it to the battle platform with only one second to spare after overcoming some rather ridiculous obstacles after escaping the janitor's closet, such as other fighters, pokemon, fan-girls, fan-boys (shudders), reporters, cops (something about deporting him to Spain).
"So, you come to meet your demise?" Sephiroth stood in his battle stance.
"On the contrary clone," Vega struck a pose, all the reporters and fans took snapshots, "I only gave you enough time to say farewell to your friends before I destroyed you,"
"Enough talk and fight already!" someone in the stands yelled.
"Shut-up!" Vega and Sephiroth yelled at the man.
"Sorry…"
The referee then blew the whistle to start the battle and leaped off the platform to evade any injuries. The clash of the bishounen began! Vega dashed forward, attempting his Sky High Claw technique. Sephiroth leaped up, his black wings appeared and flew upward. Vega followed using his Izuna Drop to try and grab the dark winged angel. Sephiroth then raised his sword high above his head.
Then Vega's eyes widened, "AH! Not the face! Not the face!" he squealed like a little girl.
WANG! CRASH!
Vega was on the ground, his mask cracked, his face bruised, and his eyes swirling and twitching. All the Vega fan-girls swooned and fainted (well…Mona dumped ice-cubes on Kris to prevent her from doing so) at seeing his face battered.
"Well…didn't expect you to scream like a little girl…" Sephiroth muttered, flicking the blade of the sword as Vega got up, furious.
"You…hit…my…FACE!" The Spaniard flew at Sephiroth with his clawed arm outstretched. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed as he blocked the swings with his Masamune.
"Oh c'mon…what kind of Street Fighter gets worked up about his face…?" Sephiroth commented as he flew a safe distance away. "…Spanish Pussy…"
Meanwhile a tall dark…and fat figure was walking towards the Colusseum.
"Vega's taking too long…I knew I should've done this myself instead of sending HIM." The figure grumbled before stepping out of the shadows. Bison continued walking towards the entrance where the same girl (still snapping her bubble-gum) was sitting.
"Do you have registration sir?" She asked.
"I'm the patron for this event…" Bison replied.
Snap "Fine, go ahead…" The girl waved him off. "…fatso…"
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
And the girl was sent flying once again…
To be continued...
Translation of Vega's yell via Babelfish: Get out of here you idiot! I am making a private phone call!
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