Final
Fanatic
Chapter 9: Ayame's Costume Shop
Our heroes have been traveling through the Forest of the Undead, which had been cleared out thanks to Mona and Sephiroth. Mona now sported a giant Band-Aid on her head (with Choco trying to comfort her) and Sephiroth was still fuming with little angry-anime-veins floating above his head.
Kris, who was now walking beside Chaos-2, kept looking around cautiously. She hated the undead (except vampires, they were cool) they were rotten, smelly, and they moaned a lot.
"Oohhh aaaahh…" something moaned as it crawled out of the bushes next to Kris.
"AAAAHHHHH! Undead!" she grabbed Sephiroth's Masamune Sword and started bashing the thing with the blunt side of the sword. "DIE! DIE! DIE!"
"Now that's an oxymoron…" Chaos-2 sweat-dropped.
"How come everyone enjoys stealing my sword?" Sephiroth grumbled as he face-palmed himself.
"Uh Kris… Kris...? KRIS!" Mona tried to get her friends attention.
"Huh?" Kris momentarily stopped her bashing.
"That's not an undead… it's a drunk," Mona pointed.
Kris looked down at the thing on the ground. It was in fact a drunk, not an undead. "Woopsies… Sorry!"
"Oohhh ahhhh…." The drunk moaned, now having the worst hangover of his life.
As they continued through the forest they stopped by a sign that pointed down the left road, reading: Ayame's Costume Shop: For All Your Cosplay and RPG Needs!
"Wow…this is…interesting…since when was Fruits Basket in a video game? I thought it was an anime!" Mona turned to her traveling companions. "Shall we go in?"
"Well…it couldn't hurt to look…" Kris replied before they walked in. There were some people there but they were standing motionless in front of the clothes. A bit confused, and wanting to experiment on the citizens to see if they would react like any RPG person, Mona walked towards what seemed to be a young girl.
"Um, excuse me…do you know about the Chaos Emeralds?"
"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The 8-bit girl whined. Mona stared.
"That's a bit irrelevant to the question, don't you think…?"
"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The girl whined.
"…" Mona paused before speaking up. "You know, it's quite odd that you seem to be saying the same thing over and over again. Don't you think it's because you have a lack of vocabulary and because the creators of this game were too lazy to add additional phrases to your head?"
"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The girl (yes, again) whined before Mona face-palmed herself.
"Argh…I knew it…"
"I know…my daughter whines all the time…" The mother groaned.
"You can say that again…" Mona commented.
"I know…my daughter whines all the time…" The mother groaned before Mona slowly backed away with a nervous expression plastered on her face.
"Wow! Lookit all the phat outfits!" Kris squealed.
"Phat…?" Sephiroth sweat dropped.
"I'm so going to try these on!" Kris picked up an armful of outfits and dashed for the changing room, knocking aside several of the non-playable-characters.
"What was that about?" Mona wondered while in the background Choco pecked at a feathered hat that looked like him.
Then out of nowhere, a man with long silver hair and a red outfit burst through the employee entrance door with a dramatic flare. "My goodness, new customers!"
"Huh?" Chaos-2 looked between Sephiroth and the new man (only his head could fit through the door since he's now too big). "Mona, you see what I see?"
"Yeah, a guy in dire need of a haircut," said Mona as she tried to pry Choco away from the feathered hat that he became emotionally attached to (pink hearts floated above the black bird's head).
"I'm seeing double: two Sephiroths!" Chaos said after turning into a puddle and reforming so he was inside.
"What!" Sephiroth got angry. "I look nothing like him!"
"I totally agree," the man flipped his long hair over his shoulder. "I'm so much more handsome."
"WHAT?" Sephiroth was even angrier, "Who do you think you are!"
"I..." the man struck a dramatic pose, flowery backdrop and sparkles and all, "am Ayame Sohma! The handsomest and most charming of the Sohma family! And I own this store."
"Oh GAWD MY EYES!" Mona grabbed a few random outfits during her blind dash (she got blinded by the sprinkles flying off Ayame) to the changing rooms and knocked over several of the non playable characters like dominos.
"I found the perfect outfit!" Kris yelled from the fitting room. She pranced out, wearing a skimpy warrior-princess outfit. Sephiroth blushed, and threw his cloak over her to cover her up.
"You get back in there and find a less revealing outfit!" said Sephiroth, blushing madly.
"Okay-okay!" Kris said, muffled under the cloak as Mona skulked out wearing a familiar outfit consisting of a dress and some pink. Her hair was in a familiar braid that had Sephiroth twitch like a madman.
"What the hell! How the crap did I get in this stinking Aerith (looks at Sephiroth) …outfit…?" Mona stared wide-eyed at Sephiroth. There seemed to be a horrid resemblance between the brunettes (despite the eye color and facial features) and Mona had just realized it when she saw the murderous expression shot directly at her.
"Y-Y-YOOOU!" The silver-haired bishounen roared, his face resembling an angry Gyarados', as Mona gained a stone-face.
"Ooh…"
"Odd…a blonde boy who had a huge sword went into a seizure when he saw another brunette wearing that…" Ayame commented.
"…SCHNEIDER!" (Yes, that's German for a certain "S" word we all use most of the time.) Mona panicked before diving back into the fitting room as Sephiroth drew his sword.
"DIE!" The bishounen flew after Mona…into the girls fitting room.
A gigantic amount of screams (some close to "PERVEEEEERT!") were heard along with pummeling noises before Sephiroth was thrown out and landed on his face.
"Ow…"
"Honestly Sephiroth…you should know better than to run in a room meant for the opposite sex…how unbelievable…" Chaos rolled its invisible white pupils which weren't seen under the glossy green color.
"Indeed…how unbelievable…" Ayame commented as he rested his chin on his hand.
"Oh shut up…" The soldier growled as Choco warbled in hysterics after a clothes hanger struck him square in the head.
"Wark-WAAARK! (HA-HAAAA!)"
"Sephie, you know it's not nice to try and kill people, it leaves a bad impression," Kris patted him on the head.
Sephiroth blushed, seeing she was still in the revealing warrior outfit. "I thought I told you to change!"
"I'm going!" Kris dashed into the changing room.
Ayame then waltzed over to Sephiroth as he got up. "My dear sir, I couldn't help but notice you have a marvelous body,"
"SAY WHA--!" Sephiroth was shocked.
Choco (with his new hat-friend) and Chaos-2 were on the floor laughing.
"Yes indeed, a man such as you would make an excellent model for my line of clothing," Ayame smiled.
"What line of clothing is that?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed.
"MEN'S ROMANCE!" Ayame shouted in a theatrical fashion, with another flowery backdrop and glitter sparkles.
"How in the world do you do that anyway?" Chaos-2 wondered before falling back into hysterics
"Oh this should be good…" Mona sniggered with a wide grin on her face, sneaking out to snag a handful of outfits (she was wearing her original outfit) before darting back into the fitting room before Sephiroth could attack again. Of course…she had poked her head out and commented with a bold air: "Do you sell birthday suits?" before the Masamune Sword struck the wall next to her head. Mona let out a panicked yelp "YIKES!" before making herself scarce.
"You must be kidding me…" Sephiroth glowered as he tugged the sword out of the wall and sheathed it.
"C'mon Sephiroth…it couldn't hurt…" Chaos-2 commented before turning to Ayame. "I think he'd change his mind if he actually got in one…"
"Ohh no! Forget it!" The FF7 character retorted before he got shoved into the men's fitting room after Chaos-2 swatted him in there with one of his huge claws. "YAAAAH-"
CRAAASH!
"Do your worst…" Chaos-2 whispered to Ayame as Mona dashed out in a costume that resembled that of Kyo Sohma's, holding onto a folded article of clothing.
"Make him try this first. PLEASE Mr. Ayame Sohma?" She asked (trying to be polite than she was earlier despite that grin on her face), putting it in his hands, before darting a safe distance away. Ayame slightly unfolded it.
"I think your brunette friend had the idea you had in mind." Ayame commented before walking into the men's fitting room.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Sephiroth exclaimed.
"Just hold still," replied Ayame
"Hey-hey-wait-a-minute! I don't need help!" Sephiroth panicked.
"Ooh nice body," Ayame winked.
"HELP!" Sephiroth yelled from the dressing room. "GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"
Meanwhile outside of the fitting rooms, Mona, Choco, and Chaos-2 were laughing their asses off. Kris scampered out of the women's fitting room wearing a blue sifuku (Japanese school uniform) with a pink bow in front. "What'd I miss?"
"Oh just Sephie-kins getting the humiliation of a lifetime." Mona joked before looking at her friend. "Oh, nice outfit…"
Ayame then walked out of the men's fitting room with a smile. "May I present … my masterpiece…!"
"I'm not coming out!" Sephiroth yelled from the dressing room.
Ayame casually walked back into the men's fitting room then booted Sephiroth out of the room.
"OW!" Sephie flew out. He got up and looked at himself. He was indeed, wearing a yellow frilly dress, the kind that a five-year-old would be embarrassed to wear. He looked up and noticed his companions with puffed up red cheeks as they attempted not to laugh in front of him. "If you laugh…"
(SOUNDS OF BALLOONS DEFLATING ALONG WITH SNIGGERING)
Needless to say, Sephiroth's threat went unheard and everyone fell onto the ground, doubling over in laughter.
"Oh-oh my gawd, he-he-he looks…he looks-WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Mona pounded at the ground, wheezed, and then resumed laughing in hysterics.
"Sephiroth…" Chaos-2 attempted to speak up although chuckling.
"What is it?" The silver-haired bishounen glared at him with his mako green eyes.
"That's…that's a-ha-ha-ha good look for you…ha-ha-ha!" Then he fell into a rippling energy puddle of hysterics.
"Kris!" Sephiroth glanced over at Kris who was in a ball of hysterics and laughing. He didn't find much help there.
"That-that was…haw-haw-he-he-he…the evilest…-air intake-…thing you did!" Kris said to Mona between laughs. Sephiroth immediately drew his sword again and Mona's laughter was reduced to whimpering before she ran into the safety of the women's fitting room. Sephiroth, apparently not learnt his lesson, ran in as well.
"DIIIIEEE-ah… Oh not again…"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAN-IN-A-DRESS! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET HIM OUT! PERRVERRRT! HENTAIIIII!" All the girls screamed at once.
"Now ladies…this can be exp-PUT THAT DOWN! AAAAAAAH! NOT THE FACE!"
Several loud and painful noises were heard before Sephiroth (still in a dress) bolted out as several things were thrown at him ranging from Materia, Pokeballs, Rocks, Radishes (courtesy of Princess Peach), Crystal Stars, Eggs, Shoes, Coat-Hangers, a few sharp knives, kunai, shuriken, scrolls, laser blasts (from Samus Aran), a Chocobo (how'd that get in there?), and finally a bomb-omb.
KROOOOM!
Well…the shop was alright but Sephiroth was another story. The bishounen was flattened against the wall on the men's side and he was covered in scorch-marks.
"Hey guys, the outfits come with their own accessories!" Mona shouted as she jumped out in a very-familiar costume, which was from the Pokemon anime, and struck a pose after pulling out a red and white ball. "I'm gonna be a Pokemon Master!"
"Uh…" Everyone (except Sephiroth who was currently unconscious) stared.
"I'm getting this!" The brunette grinned before running into the fitting room.
"PER-!" The female characters screeched.
"HEY! I'M A GIRL!" Mona took off the red, white, and green hat and let her mid-back length hair drop. "SEE!"
"Oh…false alarm girls! Put down those weapons of mass destruction." Samus put her gun away.
"Why do you have those anyway?" Mona asked as she went back into her room.
"We're going to make sure the game companies give us proper attacks in future games AND be sure to stop making us LOVE INTRESTS!" A VERY-Familiar White Mage replied. "Some just want to be loners and not be watched! (Darn that Black Mage…)"
"Oh…eh…I'd rather not be caught up in those things…good luck!" Mona dashed back out in her original outfit and the Ash Ketchum uniform. "They're mad…MAD!"
"Oh my poor bishie!" Kris whimpered as she embraced the scorched Sephiroth.
"OW-OW-OW-OW!" Sephiroth whimpered, in pain from burns.
Then Ayame waltzed over Kris, calculator in hand, "Lets see, your outfits plus taxes, tariffs, shipping and handling, required assembly, batteries included and surcharges, your total is…" he keyed it in and showed Kris.
Upon seeing the number, her eyes bugged out, her jaw dropped, and turned white. "Um, you know, Mona is the one that handles expenses." She picked up Sephiroth, who was dazed and still donned a yellow dress, "See ya!" She dashed out the door (right through Chaos), carrying the new outfits with her.
SPLASH!
"Traitor!" Mona yelled. A few dozen pock-marks formed on her head before she glanced at Ayame. "How much is that in…"
"RINGS! HOW THE CRAP DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON 1 MILLION RINGS!" Sephiroth yelled once he was back in his normal outfit.
"Well…when you ditched me, Choco, and Chaos-2; I had gotten Chaos here to activate Chaos Control (or Chaos Bind) and we swiped several from a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehog-Sprite-Edits (thanks to the one-ring rule that's mandatory in the games)! Thus our currency supply is fine!" Mona replied. "Plus we have several left over in about oh…1,700 Gil…added up with the 200,000 Gil prize is: 201,700 Gil…"
"How cunning of you…" Sephiroth replied, a bit impressed, but swearing he would slash her apart for the dress joke.
"I dare not mention what else she did…" Chaos-2 face-palmed itself as it recalled the events.
"What do you mean…?" Kris asked.
"Um, you just ruined a perfect transition…"
"Oops…carry on then…"
"Mona, what are you doing!" Chaos-2 almost shrieked when it noticed the teenager placing thousands upon thousands of dynamite (which she stole from a Hyrule based store) next to a frozen and inactivated Omochao. Choco had a confused expression on its face while it still had the Chocobo hat on.
"Getting revenge for when we first met…" Mona replied with a sadistic grin before lighting the last fuse and bolting for safety with Choco. Chaos-2 stored the last of the 1 million rings into its storage before bolting after them as the time-halt came to a stop.
"Hello…I'm Omochao, I'm here to-
GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!
"HEEEELLLLLP…!" The robotic Chao screamed as it jetted into the atmosphere (leaving a small light and a TING) after Chaos-2 had face-palmed itself.
Kris smiled "Well, now that we have new outfits and our money problems are solved, we can now… uh… now what can we do?" Suddenly there was a loud growl.
GROOWL!
Everyone except Kris got into battle position at the cat-like snarl. "What in the world was that!" Sephiroth drew his sword and looked around.
"Oh, that was my stomach," Kris said, causing everyone else to anime faint. Then she fell over and curled up and wailed, "WAAHH! I'm hungry! Need food!"
"Oh, you're always hungry!" Sephiroth sighed. "Maybe we can have some roast chicken." He eyed Choco and imagined him on a grill with marinade before Mona shot him a fiery glare that seemed to match that of an evil beast and was enough for the Jenova clone to hear the infamous and deafening roar of Godzilla echoing in the background. Sephiroth blanched and became whiter than his silver tresses while Chaos sank into a frightened puddle.
"Or we could scour for forest mushrooms and berries." The bishounen corrected himself as he tried not to imagine what monstrosity was using a façade to appear like a young teenage girl.
"Good!" The brunette then went on hugging the petrified Chocobo in a protective manner, glaring at Sephiroth from the side of her eye before crooning gently towards her 'baby'. "The evil-nasty-man wasn't looking at you like a roast chicken, my little Choco…oh-no-no-no…"
"W-waaark…" Choco shuddered.
Kris faced the audience with half-lidded eye-lids. "Am I the only one who notices she's got an evil side resembling or possibly being ten-times worse than Haru Sohma's?"
Chaos-2's eyes narrowed as he faced the audience as well. "If I knew who this 'Haru Sohma' is, I'd agree…"
Meanwhile, a purple weasel-like character was standing at the end of the long table. At the other end was the same figure sitting down in his giant chair. Next to his right was a dark figure that was leaning against the wall and giving off a dangerous and mysterious aura. His eyes continued gazing heartlessly at the weasel. Another figure, which was on the left, had bright and robotic eyes while a dark cloak draped over his shoulders.
The weasel adjusted his hat slightly. "So…let me get dis straight. Ya want me help you get rid of a group consisting of three humans (one being Jenova based), a Chaos Creature, and a Chocobo?"
"Indeed." The Deep Voice replied. "I will pay you handsomely in return."
"How much…?" The weasel inquired, tugging on the end of one of his dark-tanned gloves. He got his answer when Deep Voice gripped a lever with one of his white gloved hands and gave it a sharp and powerful tug. Abruptly a giant bag of gold fell on top of the purple weasel, possibly flattening him.
The bounty hunter squirmed out from underneath the giant bag and turned towards it, eyeing it with wide and greedy black eyes.
"This is half of what I'm giving you…you get the rest once the job is done but if you don't the consequences will be dire." Deep Voice explained as the weasel salivated. "I'll hold it here so it'll be safe. Fine with you?"
"Yep dat's fine…" Fang the Sniper (aka Nack the Weasel) grinned. "So…where should I search?"
To Be Continued…
Imperfection07: After an entire summer that involved me going on vacation/helping around the house/getting back to school (getting sick and currently recovering) and QotSF at work/college, we finally got this chapter done and we are currently progressing with the next one. In case you're wondering why I'm being Ten Times formal here, it's because I'm worried about going too far with the humor in the commentaries (an example being in DS2 when I did something to Mona and Hiro –shudders- which I'm going to fix) and I'm just going to give out information about the chapters in case there's confusion.
For instance: Deep Voice isn't the real name for the mystery villain. We're going to replace it with something but not saying what… The two 'bodyguards' (which are on our lists of favorite characters) are a secret and they'll have a purpose in the future chapters. Not saying what since it'll ruin the humor of the story. With that said and done, I'm gone…
(Returns)
….and please review…it's really-really dull and boring without hearing creative criticism and how much the story was enjoyed so far…except flaming…that we can do without…
(Leaves again)
(Loud sneeze sounds off in background)