Author's Note: Hello people! I'm happy to say that we've reached the ending of this story! I'm glad that I was able to put it into four chapters after all. As a side note, this chapter has a bunch of time skips and even a change in perspective which was necessary to answer everything so it may be confusing... Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this just as much as I had writing it!
Thank you TheAnime4Fan, CloudyLightning, and Project AE Hachi-Roku for your continued support! As well as to you silent readers!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Tales of Xillia.
Chapter 4
Eleven years ago…
Milla woke abruptly from a loud thud that came from the room adjacent to her own. She stretched briefly and shifted her body so that her legs were dangling off the edge of the bed with her feet nearly touching the floor. She contemplated confronting her neighbor about the rude awakening, but then put that idea on hold as she quickly discovered her urge to urinate.
The new knight rose and crossed the hall outside her room. "Ugh, again? I peed three times last night." Milla grunted in frustration as she opened the bathroom stall door and sat down to pee. As she relaxed into the action, she allowed her eyes to wander. She grimaced in disgust at the sight of the used feminine product on the tiled floor. Milla thought nothing of it at first when she rose abruptly and flushed the toilet. She placed her hand on her head when the sudden movement made her feel nauseous.
The blonde looked down at the product on the floor again and was reminded of how annoying her monthly really was. "Wait. Wasn't mine due last week?" Milla gazed down at her lady parts and wondered how she could forget about that.
Milla suddenly felt another wave of nausea and she grabbed the stall walls again for support. Milla gulped as her heart dropped. This was weird behavior even for her, and the possibilities of what her condition could be were scaring her. She burst out of the stall and walked up to the mirror. The knight combed her hand through her hair and stared at her tired reflection.
She thought back to her night of thrills a couple of weeks ago and was mentally punching herself. She and her instructor didn't use a condom nor did she take pills; it was quite stupid on her part. She left the bathroom, got dressed into casual clothing, and made her way toward the Talim Medical School. They saw patients who just walked in so perhaps they could take care of her.
As Milla walked there she felt as if she was in complete turmoil. If she really was going to have a baby there were too many problems that would arise. First, her having a baby would force her to continue her contact with her instructor whom she didn't want anything to do with at all. Second, if the other knights found out about her baby she would undoubtedly lose her job as a result. Third, and the most obvious problem, she would not be able to properly care for the child.
Sure the pay for her job was not bad, but it was definitely not enough to support two people. Not to mention, since she was newly knighted, she would have to work out in the fields and away from her baby. She couldn't possibly leave her child by himself.
Milla pushed this thought to the back of her head as she approached the school. She questioned if she really wanted to confirm her suspicions as she walked in, but then realized that if she didn't she could possibly be harming her baby in the process of her denial. Her feet seemed to move by themselves and she soon found herself sitting on the bed in a patient room, awaiting the results of the pregnancy test she took.
The knight closed her bright red eyes briefly, but then opened them again at the sound of the door opening. The doctor strode in with a broad smile on her face. "Good news! You're pregnant!"
Milla sighed and held her head dejectedly.
This expression caught the doctor off guard. "Is something wrong?" the older woman asked with a trepid tone.
The blonde shook her head slowly. "Nothing is wrong. I was just concerned about how I will continue my job."
The doctor took a seat from the desk of the examination room and sat close to Milla with a look of concern. "What is your occupation?"
Milla gulped. "I'm a knight."
"I see," the doctor commented slowly. "That is indeed a problem. It's not safe for the child if you continue to exhaust your body in that way. Perhaps it may be wise to take a leave from your duties. If not, it could result in a miscarriage."
Milla closed her eyes. "It's cruel, but I've gotten this far; I can't back out now. If I do, then there's no way I'd be able to take care of my baby. Perhaps it's better to take the chance. And maybe if this does end in a miscarriage, it would –" The knight squeezed her eyes tight to eradicate the dark thoughts. "I understand. Thank you, doctor."
The woman with greying hairs gave Milla a warm smile and patted her back. "You're welcome. Make sure you come and visit me regularly so I can see how your pregnancy is progressing."
With that said, the doctor hastily rose and left the room to attend to her other patients. Once the door closed behind her, Milla covered her hands over her eyes and sighed deeply. She knew she was being stupid, but she couldn't seem to find a way out of the hole she had dug herself into. She could reach out to her instructor, if he knew that she was pregnant he could help her. However, Milla knew that it was wise to stay away from the older man. He, for sure, would not believe her. Even if he did, that would mean she would have to deal with him for the rest of her life. It was selfish, but she had no intention of getting back together with him, and possibly be forced into having a relationship with him because of the kid.
Milla gritted her teeth and damned her child for putting her in a difficult situation. She knew she was being selfish, but in this moment of her anger, her calculation of fair judgment was lacking. Milla rose from the bed and walked out onto the streets with full intention of returning to her full knight duties despite the risk it posed.
8 months later…
"Fireball!" Milla yelled out the spell to attack the Sol Cat in front of her. The monster growled in pain before it fell to the ground to its death. Milla nodded at her handy work and then left the Laforte Research Institute. On her way out, she turned to the researchers waiting patiently at the entrance. "Those pests have been dealt with. The institute should be safe now."
All four researchers sighed in relief in unison. "Thank you, miss!" one of them said.
Another researcher nodded graciously. "Yes! Now we don't have to worry about being eaten while we do our experiments!"
"There's no need to thank me so profusely. This is my job of course," Milla stated simply with a small smile as she unconsciously placed her hand on her stomach.
"But still, we wish to show you our appreciation nonetheless!"
Milla nodded to the four of them and then spun on her heel to leave the premises. She hastily made her way toward the Talim Medical School as today was one of her scheduled appointments with her doctor.
Against the doctor's better judgment, Milla had decided to continue to perform her duties as a knight. She successfully concealed her baby bump from the other knights by hiding it under her armor. As she got bigger, her armor grew as well. This came as extremely suspicious to the people around her, but she just brushed it off as a rapid weight gain. Due to the size of her belly and the oversized armor, her mobility had decreased tremendously, and as a result she began to use magic artes instead of her sword. She surprisingly had an innate talent for it, and it proved most useful recently.
Milla was just about to enter the medical school when she felt some pressure augmenting inside of her. "What? No." Milla almost mouthed the words she was thinking as she was receiving her first contractions. "It's way too early."
Milla managed to enter the building, but then fell to her knees as the sheer pain of labor was too strong for her legs to keep her upright. This caught the attention of many onlookers who quickly brought her into one of the rooms. After many minutes, her doctor was by her side as she was stripped from below her waist.
"A month early? This is worrisome. But it's time when the baby says it's time." The woman looked at Milla's nether regions and nodded. "Your cervix has not dilated fully. I'm sorry to say, Milla, but looks like we need to preform C-section," the lady said with a sad smile.
Milla thumped her head against her pillow and grunted in pain.
The doctor patted Milla's head. "Don't worry, dear. I'll be back once everything is prepared." Milla half-heartedly nodded as the doctor left the room.
Eight hours later…
"Hey. Wake up," the doctor giggled at her patient. When Milla opened her eyes a crack she caught sight of a little bundle of blanket in the elder woman's arms wrapping the face of a newborn baby crying horridly like a banshee. "See? This is your little boy." Milla outstretched her arms and held her new baby as she felt more awake than she ever did before.
The blonde cradled the baby in her arms and patted the boy's black tuft of hair. Milla cried as she was quickly forgetting how birthing this creature in her arms was the most agonizing battle she had ever fought. "Hi, Jude." Milla smiled feeling as if she were in euphoria. "I'm your mom."
After several days of recovering, for both the mother and son, the doctor sent the duo home with careful instructions as to how Milla would care for a baby born prematurely. The new mother absorbed all information carefully as she wanted to be the best mom in the world.
Milla carried Jude out of the medical school and thought of how she was going to hide her little boy from her superiors. However, that was a fleeting thought when she saw a familiar face walking quite a bit away from her. Milla squinted and noticed that this was Queen Muzét walking with her personal guard looking very upset.
Milla shrugged and walked off with full intention of ignoring her, but from the corner of her eye she could see that Muzét still caught sight of her and was walking in her direction. Once the woman was close enough, Milla could see her reddened eyes and puffy nose as she smiled at the blonde. The knight flinched at her smile. It was obviously forced, and one couldn't dismiss how creepy it came off as.
"Hello, Milla," Muzét sang the blonde's name with a shaky voice.
"Good morning, Muzét," Milla said warily. "Are you alright?"
"Am I alright?" Muzét laughed manically. "Of course I'm not. I've never been farther from that in my entire life!" she yelled as she balled up her fists.
Milla took a step back from the nutcase. "I'm sorry for asking when it wasn't my place. I'll be taking my leave now." Milla spun around to leave, but then stopped when the blue-haired woman sang her name again.
"Milla? What is that you are holding?"
"It's nothing that you should be concerned with," Milla said too quickly. She silently reprimanded herself for coming off as suspicious. This heightened Muzét's curiosity.
"Show me. Now," the queen demanded.
Milla shivered. Without looking at the woman she could tell she was smiling; she could hear it in her voice.
Milla turned around, despite her brain screaming at her to stop. Muzét walked up in front of her to see Jude wrapped up in her arms.
"A baby? Spirits above, he's beautiful!" Muzét placed her hand on the boy's head to which Milla instinctively pulled him away and defensively covered him with her body. The queen glared at the knight dangerously.
"I'm sorry, but he's very fragile. He was born a month prematurely and he can get sick easily," she explained.
The blue-haired woman placed her hand over her chest with a not so convincing hurt expression on her face. "Come now, Milla. Won't you let me hold him? I'm not sick."
"No," Milla said quietly but sternly at the same time.
"Is that disobedience I hear?" Muzét raised an eyebrow. "I am your queen. Hand him over."
When Milla didn't move, Muzét nodded to her guard who stepped forward and unsheathed his sword. Milla was clearly upset with the sharp object being waved so close to her baby that she begrudgingly complied.
Muzét held the sleeping youth in her arms. "What's his name?" she asked softly.
"Jude."
"Jude? Ah. What a lovely name." The woman was visibly getting attached to him which Milla didn't enjoy viewing at all. The queen rocked him back and forth, and then suddenly continued her journey towards Orda Palace.
The blonde stood in front of the blue-haired woman, effectively blocking her path. "Wait. What are you doing?"
Muzét didn't lift her gaze from the boy as she responded. "I'm just going to take Jude home with me. I hope you don't mind."
"Of course I mind! He's my son, not yours. You are not taking him anywhere," Milla growled at Muzét. She lifted arms to get physical with the lady, but the guard pointed his sword at the female knight to which Milla halted.
"I'm sorry, but there seems to be nothing you can do about it." Muzét's creepy smile grew indefinitely as she said these words. Milla narrowed her eyes at the beautiful woman as if she was challenging her. "I don't even need to resort to violence to get what I want this time." Muzét winked at Milla. "He's your son? Hmm… This must meant that you got pregnant while still in training. That's a big no-no am I right?"
Milla's jaw hung slack, "You wouldn't."
The blue-haired woman giggled. "Oh, but I would. That is if you try to stop me."
The blonde grew desperate at the realization that the queen was not joking around. "How can you do this? Take a child from his mother."
"Calm down, Milla. You're acting like this is the worst possible thing that could happen to him. Do you honestly think that you could provide a better home for him than me?"
Milla gazed down at the ground as the truth of the statement stabbed needles in her heart.
Seeing Milla falter fired up Muzét even more. "You can't give him the world like I can." Red clashed with green as the two women shared a hard stare with each other.
Milla nodded her blonde head in understanding as her feet seemed to have a mind of their own. She took a step back to which Muzét continued in carrying Jude back to Orda Palace.
"Excuse me, miss." Milla heard the husky tones of the guard and gazed up at him dejectedly. "I believe you need some sort of explanation. You see, her majesty recently gave birth as well. Sadly, the child was a stillborn. She's clearly grieving which is evident of how she acted with your child."
"Does that justify her actions?"
The man shook his head. "No, but I felt bad for you, and thought that you needed to know where this behavior is coming from. And perhaps you will find some sympathy for her."
"I don't care where it's coming from. She's despicable," Milla spat her hate filled words out.
"I'm sorry for your loss," the man said genuinely. He then hastily followed his queen and new prince to the Palace.
As soon as the male knight left, Milla dropped her façade and brought her hands to her face and cried hard. "This is for the best," Milla thought to herself. "He deserves better than what I can give him."
Mila shakily wiped her tears away with her hand. "It's for the best, yet why does it feel so wrong? Why do I feel torn from someone I have only known for a couple of days?"
Orda Palace
Throne Room
Nachtigal sighed on his throne and covered half of his face with his left hand. He turned off the artificial lighting in the room and the large windows were the only source of light. The shadows created appeared as daggers on the floor. With the minimal light hitting the back of the throne, Nachtigal was left in darkness.
The king threw his hand off of his face and left it hanging off of the edge of the arm rest. He leaned backward in a relaxed pose, however, his face remained fatigued. He was broken out of his reverie when a figure presented itself in front of him. It was one that he'd known too well. "Gilland."
"Your majesty," Gilland bowed briefly. "What troubles you?"
"This is just work related stress. Nothing more." The lion-like man waved his arm to dismiss his second in command.
"Is it that difficult for you to confide in me?" Gilland walked slowly over to Nachtigal's side. "Whatever it is, you should be proud. You're lovely wife has presented you with a son. That in itself should spread a smile on your face." Gilland chose his words carefully to provoke the King as much as possible.
Nachtigal sighed again, "That's precisely what has compromised me to this state. Gilland, he is not my son."
"How can you be so certain?"
"Have you seen him? His black hair does not run in my family nor Muzét's. And he's way too small to be an offspring of a Fenn." Nachtigal growled in irritation, "That stupid woman. I have been married to her for less than a year and already she's been with other men. I will not give Rashugal to someone who is not of Royal blood."
Gilland placed his hand on his chin. "Hmm, might I suggest killing the little problem?"
"You think that hasn't crossed my mind yet? Muzét seems to be quite attached to Jude. It would be difficult to kill him without her knowing."
"Perhaps two murders need to take place?" Gilland chuckled at his devious plan.
"Perhaps, but she is my wife. It'd be too annoying to find another one," Nachtigal groaned, "No doubt the death of her and my 'son' would be a scare to the people."
"This is quite the dilemma, your majesty."
"Indeed, in the end there's nothing that I can do about it except wait for the perfect time to get rid of that bastard child." Nachtigal stroked the scars on his face as he said this.
"Yes, I'm sure that time will come soon. However, it's appalling that you must give that adulterer her way."
Nachtigal grunted in affirmation of Gilland's statement and leaned his head back. "I will thoroughly enjoy the day he dies, but it is not optimal to fantasize about that now."
Gilland nodded his head, then he hesitated, knowing that Nachtigal was only half listening. "Very well then. I will take my leave then."
The king hummed in recognition that Gilland had said something but didn't make any motions outside of closing his tired eyes.
Three years later…
Milla walked through the commercial district in Fennmont, keeping a clear eye for anything out of the ordinary as she was handling her guard duty post on the streets. Although this type of job was considered the most boring by many, Milla found it to be quite easy as her presence was enough to strike fear into anyone who intended to commit a crime.
Milla hummed to herself and continued to pace around the stores without incident. That was until she heard an all too familiar voice approaching the store she was standing next to. Milla peered at the entrance and almost jumped out of her armor when she realized that the voice belonged to Muzét. The woman was wearing a long green dress that was so low cut it was a mystery how her boobs did not fall out.
"Now, I want to make the best peach pie for your father. So will you go and find me the biggest, juiciest peaches, Jude?" Muzét said sweetly.
Milla flinched at that name that pulled at her heart strings. She craned her neck around to see a little boy clinging on to Muzét's hand. His hair was dark and his eyes were brown. Without a doubt, Milla knew that the boy resembled her and her instructor. Another thing that was without a doubt was that Milla was still very much in love with the boy. It was probably maternal instinct, but regardless the blonde found it difficult to not be drawn to the boy.
Muzét directed Jude to the peaches and picked him up he could look at them. The blue-haired woman felt eyes on her so she turned around to find, to her amusement, an indignant looking Milla. Muzét smiled, relishing the jealous expression that her mundane act elicited from the blonde.
"Mommy, I want this one!" Jude all but screamed at Muzét. To which the woman replied by hushing at her child.
"Please be quiet, dear. We are in a shop. This one you said? It's lovely." Muzét placed the peaches in the bag and turned to gather other ingredients for peach pie. Before she left the produce section of the store, she turned and winked at the visibly fuming knight.
Milla stood there in fury with her arms shaking at her sides. She wondered if it would be in bad taste to snatch the boy from her arms, but she wouldn't bring herself to do it. This all was a result of her poor decisions after all. She needed to confront them head on.
Without realizing her actions, Milla followed the pair discretely around the mazes of aisles. Muzét didn't notice her, but the three-year-old did. Milla ceased her breathing and smiled at the boy to which he smiled back. The blonde was not sure why she felt warm and fuzzy, but all she knew was that she was enamored with the cute kid that was hers.
In that moment, Milla realized that perhaps she couldn't watch over and protect him like a normal mother could, but she would fight to make Fennmont a safe place for him. She would be a better knight and if fate was kind, maybe she could meet the prince personally. That would be when she would feel the most accomplished. He was the world for her now, and she wanted to protect him.
Milla waved at the boy and then walked out of the grocery store with her new found confidence in one pocket and hope for the future in the other one.
Present Day…
Jude said nothing but stared in disbelief at Milla with his jaw hanging slack. She recalled her memories of the incident to him to which he listened with his undivided attention. After hearing the truth and Milla's personal story, Jude bit his lower lip. "I don't believe you," he said bluntly. "My real mother died last month, and she was always so sweet to me. It's difficult to believe she would be that cruel."
Milla nodded. "I knew you wouldn't." She then went through the motions of removing her armor to which Jude blushed and adverted his eyes.
"W-what are you doing?" he said uncomfortably.
Milla ignored him and continued to remove her armor until she had only a thin shirt over her upper body. She lifted her shirt over her stomach to reveal her scar when she gave birth to Jude. She looked up at Jude and knew that from his disturbed expression that he was not convinced. "This is my only proof," she whispered. "I'm sorry that I don't have a picture or any hard evidence, and I know it's hard to believe my story. But please believe that I'm your mother, if not anything else."
Jude continued to stare at Milla without being convinced, but seeing his strong guard break under these circumstances moved him. His face began to soften. Milla calmed from Jude's change in expression, and she knew that her minimal proof sufficed.
"You're really my mom?" Jude hiccupped. Milla nodded slowly with downcast eyes. Jude swiftly wiped his tears and smiled beautifully. "What about my real father? What was he like?"
Milla gave the boy a dumbfounded expression. "What do you want to know about him?"
"Anything."
"Umm," Milla hesitated. She really didn't want to tell him about that man, but Jude's hopeful eyes forced her to comply. "Well, he was an instructor in the knights. His job was to train new recruits who wanted to be knighted."
"Is that how you met him?" Jude asked excitedly.
Milla gave him one solitary nod.
The black-haired boy's attention peaked at this. "So, both of my parents are knights…" Jude trailed off looking towards the distance in thought, perhaps pride at having strong parents.
Milla never let her gaze leave the younger one. "You have no idea how it felt to work so closely with you. I felt like it was the first time that I could truly be there for you. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to raise you."
Jude began to look sad again. "It wasn't too bad I guess. My parents were nice." Jude's mind trailed to Nachtigal and he began to shiver. "Although, I can't go back home now I suppose." He wrapped his arms around his legs that were tucked close to his chest.
"You won't need to. They're after my head too it seems." Milla grabbed Jude's shoulders and kneeled in front of him. "Jude, listen to me. I will keep you safe from him. We will leave Rashugal and stay in Auj Oule where he can't hurt you."
Jude's eyes widened and sighed dejectedly. He then nodded sadly. "I understand. But once he realizes that I'm not dead, he'll continue to send knights to find me." Jude shivered harder than before.
"If that happens, I'll cut them all down."
Jude gave a slight pout; he was clearly unconvinced and concerned at Milla's proposal.
"I may have the solution you seek." A voice said behind the two.
Jude and Milla directed their attention to Rowen who smiled. The action caused crow's feet to appear around his eyeballs. Milla narrowed her eyes and stood in front of Jude protectively. "Whatever it is that you want, we are not interested."
Jude rose from his seated position and placed his hand on Milla's shoulder. "Milla, wait. Maybe we should hear him out."
Milla put a finger on her chin, remembering how the old man spared her in their earlier battle. Although her mind was reeling, it didn't hurt to hear the man's answer. Milla sighed. "Proceed."
"It's quite simple actually. I could convince King Nachtigal of the boy's and your own deaths. If you two are truly leaving the country, then he would never learn the truth if you two are not spotted Rashugal again," the old man said while stroking his beard.
Milla narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "How do we know you won't tell King Nachtigal of our escape to Auj Oule?"
Rowen placed his hands behind his back and nodded, understanding that her concern was entirely founded. "I can give you my word, but that is obviously not enough."
"You're right. It's not. Perhaps I should kill you right now to keep your mouth shut."
"Milla, stop!" Jude yelled while pulling at her arm. "Don't kill Rowen. He was the most merciful of my kidnappers. You may not trust him about this, but I do."
The blonde widened her eyes at the boy. "You do?" Jude nodded curtly.
Milla gazed at Rowen and frowned. "Fine. If Jude trusts you, I will do the same."
This brought a sincere smile to Rowen's wrinkled face. "I will not disappoint either of you." Rowen bowed slightly and then turned back toward Fennmont, walking over the corpses of once breathing knights.
"I hope we didn't make a mistake," Milla grumbled.
"I know we didn't." Jude nodded knowingly. He then looked at the mud between his feet. "Umm, Milla?"
"Yes, my prince?" the knight said on impulse.
Jude flinched at her utterance. "Please don't call me that anymore. I'm not royalty."
"Oh, I'm sorry." The woman hated herself for bringing their conversation to an awkward halt. "What were you going to ask me?"
"Things aren't going to be the same anymore, are they?" Jude asked sadly.
"No they're not. But I hope that you are not bothered by the differences. I take care of you just as well as Muzét had." Milla ran her hand through Jude's soft locks, and this time Jude didn't pull away.
The boy smiled briefly. "Thank you."
The female knight chuckled. "Don't thank me just yet. I hadn't begun doing anything."
"I know. I just think that I wanted to thank you for fighting for me even though it's not your job anymore. It just made me feel like I mattered to someone," Jude admitted.
"I feel the same way," Milla replied softly.
"Huh?"
Milla ruffled Jude's black hair. "It's nothing. Forget about it." She then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away.
"Wha–? Hey! I want to know!" Jude said indignantly.
Milla smiled, knowing that Jude was slowly becoming lively again. She grasped his arm tighter and fantasized about their future together as mother and son. It was bound to be difficult at first, but she had to take charge for bringing Jude into this world. And she was more than happy to fulfill that responsibility.
The End