A/N: So, that was more like an eternal hiatus than my usual 'slight' delay! Personal issues - I am so sorry. I wouldn't be surprised if there was nobody at all still interested in reading this…
However, if you are indeed hanging in there - THANK YOU! If you have time, it may help to re-familiarise yourself with Chapters 1 and 2…and we're good to go!
My aim is to complete this over the weekend so that it's out of the way in time for Monday. (Not that we are getting the show in the UK yet, but I know the majority of you will be in Major Crimes heaven come Monday night!) 2 more chapters remain - and comments will certainly encourage me to finish up (she pleads longingly) ;)
CHAPTER THREE :: One Heart Can Mend Another
Sharon was only a few blocks from the hotel, staring somewhat miserably through the window of the taxi, when her cell phone finally rang. She answered immediately, relief flooding through her at the sound of his voice.
"Sharon?"
"Where are you, Andy? Are you okay?"
"I'm at the hotel." He was silent for a long while then and for a moment Sharon wondered whether he had hung up. She was about to end the call when he spoke again, his voice small. "I'm in the bar, Sharon."
Sharon's stomach dropped. He was where? What the hell happened? Her blood ran cold as an icy knot formed in the pit of her belly. She fought to keep her voice steady as she answered him, even as the first tendrils of fear caused her heart to race and tears begin to prick her eyes.
"It's alright," she reassured him softly. "I'm almost there, Andy. It's going to be alright."
"Sharon…" His voice had dropped almost to a whisper now and she was fairly certain he was crying.
"Yes, honey?"
"Please hurry."
Dread clutched at Sharon's heart as she raced through the entrance hall of the hotel, heading straight for the room to her left. The bar was almost empty this early in the afternoon and she spotted him as soon as she entered. She stopped short, her hand covering her mouth as she tried to push her fear back down inside. Andy needed her to be calm now, she couldn't show him just how scared the mere sight of him in this place had made her.
He was seated at the bar, lost and alone, a full tumbler of what must surely be bourbon in front of him. Sharon approached slowly, a heavy feeling of trepidation settling over her. As she drew nearer, she realised that he was almost physically fighting with himself, frantically trying to resist the urge to take that first drink.
Andy's hand shook as it hovered in the air over the glass, before picking it up - only to put it straight back down again, his fist clenching as his mind tried desperately to overrule his base instinct. His jaw twitched as he ground his teeth together furiously, his other hand rubbing back and forth over his hair in a vain attempt at mustering what little self-control he had left - which, at this point, was hardly any at all.
He was so very ready to give in.
"Andy."
He turned towards her at the sound of his name and Sharon was completely unprepared for his visceral reaction to her presence. Pushing the tumbler violently away from him along the counter he spun around on his stool, his arms going immediately around her waist and tugging her towards him. A strangled sob escaped him as he clung to her, burying his face in her neck as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in response, holding him tight. She placed a cool hand at the back of his neck, her fingers stroking his skin gently as she rocked him slightly in her embrace.
"It's alright, honey." Her voice cracked, the tears she was fighting now pushing their way to the surface. "It's alright," she repeated softly. "I'm right here. I've got you, honey, you're safe."
They stayed like that for several minutes, before Sharon gathered the strength to face what needed to be done next. Pulling back from him slightly, she rested her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs carefully wiping the tears from his cheeks. Andy looked up at her sadly, his dark eyes exhausted.
"We're going to go upstairs now, okay?" Sharon's voice was firm, if a little wobbly. Andy nodded solemnly at her words. "And you are going to tell me what's going on, honey." He dropped his gaze but nodded once more, his arms squeezing her just a little tighter before releasing her completely.
He didn't speak until they were in the lobby, waiting for the elevator that would take them upstairs.
"You shouldn't be here, Sharon," he muttered softly. Her eyes widened at his words and she stared at him in confusion. "I'm no good for you," he continued, a guilty expression now clouding his features. "I'm just as bad as Jack."
Sharon reacted instantly - and fiercely. Pulling him around to face her, she placed her hands back against his cheeks, compelling him to look at her.
"You listen to me, Andrew Flynn - and listen good. You are nothing like Jack. Nothing!" He blinked at her, disbelieving, but when he tried to turn his face away she refused to release her hold on him. He needed to hear this and so she continued forcefully. "When your addiction threatened to consume you, you fought - hard. You called for help. When shutting me out would have been the easiest thing in the world, you are trying so very hard to let me in. You spend your whole life trying to be better, Andy."
He lowered his gaze to the floor then, but she wasn't going to allow him to hide from her any more. "Andy, look at me." Slowly, he lifted his gaze to meet hers. "You couldn't be more different from Jack if you tried." They were both crying now, silent sobs shaking Andy as he listened to her words. "Don't you ever - ever - think that you're not good enough. Do you hear me?" He nodded slowly, his breath coming in shuddering gasps. Her thumbs stroked his cheeks as tears slipped down her own face. As the elevator finally arrived with a soft 'ding', she leaned her forehead against his and sighed quietly. "You are the best man I know," she whispered, looking into his tortured eyes. "And I love you."
It wasn't until they were back in the hotel room, Andy seated defeatedly on the bed, that Sharon noticed a bloody scrape across the knuckles of his right hand. Touching it lightly with her thumb, she looked at him, concerned.
"What happened here?" she asked quietly.
Andy scrunched his face up, casting his mind back over the day's events.
"I think I hit the wall at the hospital," he admitted after a moment's thought. "I don't really remember…I was so angry…"
Angry? What on earth for? This had to be about more than the imminent death of a friend, surely. Sharon frowned and swallowed hard. As much as she longed to question him about the events of today, she didn't want to push him too hard. If he was finally going to open up to her, it had to be on his terms - and he was so nearly there already.
Instead, she took a deep breath and headed into the bathroom, returning a minute later with a bowl of warm water and some cotton balls. As she sat on the bed beside him and reached for his injured hand, she felt him shift his position slightly to face her. His free hand came to rest on her knee, his thumb caressing her as she carefully tended to his wound. It was a small gesture on his part, but in this moment it felt huge. She smiled up at him, earning a watery half-smile in return.
"I'm so sorry, Sharon." His voice was soft as he watched her continue her task, his dark eyes following her every movement. "You must have been through this a thousand times with Jack - you don't need it from me now."
Sharon dropped his hand to her lap immediately, an unbidden and unmistakably impatient hum passing her lips.
"Stop it," she ordered, looking up at him sharply. "Stop comparing yourself to that man. I mean it." Andy lowered his gaze sheepishly as she continued to speak, her tone softening as she did so. "And actually, you're wrong. I never went through this with Jack." Sharon smiled slightly at his puzzled expression before returning to cleaning his wound. "If Jack wanted a drink, he had one," she continued, head bowed. "If he wanted to place a bet, he did that, too. And as for the other women…" She sighed heavily. "Let's just say that he certainly never called me so that I could talk him out of any of it. I always found out after the fact." She looked at him again then, her green eyes clear and sparkling vehemently. "I never once saw him fight to take control of his addictions the way that you did today. I never once saw him fight for me."
She gave Andy a wry smile as she finished her task and stood before he had the chance to respond, clearing away the makeshift first aid equipment and returning the bowl to the bathroom. When she re-entered the room, Andy's cell was in his hand. As she climbed onto the bed beside him, he stared up at her with a resigned expression.
"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" she prompted gently, running a hand through his hair as she settled herself next to him. Nodding silently, his trembling fingers found the media app on his phone.
"I need you to listen to something, okay?"
She nodded solemnly and he placed the phone on the bed beside them, turned up the volume, and pressed play.
Sharon sat absolutely still, as though frozen in place at Andy's side. Slowly, she turned her head to look at him, an expression of utter horror playing across her pretty features.
"That was your friend? The one in the hospital?"
"Danny," Andy confirmed flatly.
"And Abby - she was…your girlfriend."
He could only nod this time, the tears that were stinging his eyes made it impossible to see and the lump stuck in his throat prevented speech. Tears pricked at Sharon's own eyes once again as she silently watched him. As she realised just how much he had cared for this girl.
"She was your first love." It was a statement, not a question and he nodded slowly in response, although his lips pressed together in a firm line. "You can talk about it, Andy."
He shook his head violently.
"You don't want me to do that," he bit out.
"I do," she insisted softly. Her fingers stroked his arm, feeling the tension that was coiled throughout his whole body. "Tell me about her."
Finally, he looked up at her, his expression shattered.
"She was beautiful." His eyes lost their focus as he searched his memory for the images he had buried so many years ago. "She was funny, and kind, and super smart." He smiled as a brief recollection of Abby beating him hands-down at poker entered his head. "She was far too good for me." Sharon was about to admonish him for that remark, until she spotted the playful glint in his eyes. "I was a bit of a rebel."
"What a shocker," Sharon drawled, offering him a small smile, which he returned. She ran her hand along his arm until it reached his upturned palm, where she linked her fingers with his. He held on tightly, amazed she would let him talk like this about a girl he had once cared so deeply for.
"She made me a better person," he added sadly. "And when she was gone…" His voice broke as he struggled to find the words to say what he meant. "When she was gone," he tried again, "the better part of me was gone, too. That's why I left - I couldn't be here without her. As soon as I graduated high school I headed west. I ended up in LA, met and married the kids' mom, joined the LAPD - and the rest is history."
Sharon's thumb caressed the back of his hand as she listened intently to his story, silently encouraging him to continue.
"My ex didn't like me to talk about Abby. She said it was disrespectful to her to talk about a previous girlfriend."
Sharon's eyebrows raised incredulously.
"Did she realise the circumstances? That Abby wasn't just some failed romance?"
"She knew Abby died - and even that was more than she wanted to know." Andy let out a bitter laugh. "She didn't want to hear it, so eventually I stopped trying to talk about it. I buried it." He turned to her, his eyes filled with pain. "I buried it so deep, Sharon. I didn't think I'd ever have to dig it all up again."
"I know, honey." She tilted her head to the side as her free hand traced the line of his jaw. He was still so tense, so angry - but most of all, so very hurt. It was killing her to see him like this.
"We should never have married - we weren't compatible and I was running away from everything that happened in New York. She was the first girl I met and she was about as different from Abby as it was possible to be." Andy lifted his gaze to meet Sharon's, his expression sheepish. "But then she got pregnant with Nicole…"
"Ah." Sharon smiled and nodded in understanding. "So you married her."
"I did."
They sat in silence for a moment as Sharon absorbed all of this new information about the man she loved. She understood why he had been afraid to talk to her. Many women would have fled at the mere idea of dealing with something like this - a fact reinforced for Andy by the horrendous reaction of his ex-wife - and that was without the dying-best-friend-turned-murderer being thrown into the mix.
"Maybe you should talk to her about this sometime, once everything else has been dealt with" Sharon ventured. "Your ex," she clarified, when Andy's expression turned puzzled. He snorted in disgust at the suggestion, but Sharon persevered. "She's not the same person she was thirty years ago. She might be ready to hear it now. It might help her to understand why things went so terribly wrong between you."
"Is that what you'd want, if you were her?"
Sharon huffed. She couldn't help it. She would never have behaved in such an appalling manner in the first place - and the tiny smirk pulling at Andy's mouth told her that he knew it, too. She decided to choose a more diplomatic approach with her words, though - despite what she was thinking.
"I always knew what happened between Jack and I - I just never knew why it happened, what the trigger was. I think that's the thing that bothers me the most. It's why I couldn't move on for such a very long time." She looked up at him and smiled rather forlornly. Her explanation was true. That lack of understanding had kept the sores open and festering for far longer than had been necessary for any of them. "Maybe being honest with Nicole's mother would finally heal some wounds."
"Maybe," he nodded, although he wasn't altogether convinced. Besides, he had a rather more pressing problem to deal with than his ex-wife's attitude.
Sharon saw the shadow as soon as it crossed his face.
"What is it?"
"I'm not sure what to do with the recording," he admitted. "I know you probably think I should just hand it over to the NYPD and be done with it - and believe me, a big part of me thinks that, too. Danny deserves whatever is coming to him for what he did." He paused, obviously struggling with his decision. "The thing is, Sharon - he's never going to face justice for this. He'll be dead before it ever gets to trial." Andy took hold of her hand again as he searched her face earnestly. "He's got two daughters. Finding out something like this about him…it would destroy them. I don't know that I can be responsible for that."
"You wouldn't be responsible, Andy." She squeezed his hand supportively. "You didn't do anything wrong here and you never asked for any of this."
"You think I should turn it in," he said again, continuing before she had the chance to actually answer him. "I know it's what I'm supposed to do. It's the right thing to do." He shook his head sadly. "I'm just not sure it's something I can do."
Compassion for this man that she loved tugged painfully at her chest as she watched him wrestling with himself. Reaching over to him, she ran a hand down his face, her fingers trailing soft caresses along his jawbone. He closed his eyes in response to her touch, his own hand covering hers and bringing it to his lips to drop feather-light kisses across her palm.
"I'm not a police officer here, Andy. I'm not Captain Raydor. I'm just someone who loves you - I'm just Sharon." She moved her hand up from his lips to brush her fingertips through his hair affectionately. "Don't make up your mind now. Sleep on it. Whatever decision you make, I know it will be the right one."
Andy smiled - a genuine, beautiful smile - as he brought his face nearer to hers, close enough to drop a kiss onto her forehead.
"You're wrong, you know," he murmured as his lips journeyed downwards to caress the curve of her cheek lightly. A quizzical hum was her only response as she leaned in to his touch, her hand resting at the back of his neck, keeping him close. "You know me inside out and yet you still love me," he continued, mouth grazing her ear now as he breathed the words. "You're not 'just' anything, Sharon." Suddenly, he pulled back slightly, piercing brown eyes that shone with sincerity locked onto her face as he studied her. "You're everything."