Chapter 5: One Night at Killer's Curios

Thunk!

"There we go!"

As Charlie placed the wooden crate down on the floor of David's room, Agent 9 gave a whoop and a holler, hopping over to it excitedly.

"Wahoo! Hoo-hah! Yippee!"

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on there, jumpy."

The Shepherd mix opened the lid of the crate, and reached inside. When his paws came back out a few seconds later, they were holding a pair of binoculars, two communicator headsets, a flashlight, and a lock-pick. He passed all of these to the suited simian, except for the remaining headset; this was intended for Itchy.

"Cooool..." said Agent 9, putting the headset on over his helmet, and placing the strap of the binoculars around his wrist.

"All right," said Charlie. "Now we just have to wait for..."

Knock kno-kno-knock knock, knock-knock!

"Oh, of course. Speak of the Angel, and he shall appear! Or, at least, I think that's him..."

With that, the Shepherd stepped out of the room, before walking downstairs to the front door.

Charlie undid the latch, and pulled open the door. Just as he had been expecting, his Dachshund friend was stood in the doorway, with a red-and-yellow Cocker Spaniel by his side.

"Hi, Itch! Hello to you too, Bess."

"Good afternoon, Charlie," the couple said simultaneously, as they stepped into the hallway. Itchy was now wearing his blue jacket and grey shorts, with Bess sporting a stylish blue dress and a white fascinator. To further enhance her appearance, her face had been embellished with blue eye-paint (to match the dress), and rose-coloured blusher.

"My gosh," said Charlie. "I really hope you're fine with this, Itch."

"Huh? Fine with what?"

"... You know. Remember that time when we tried to get your collar back from Carface?"

"Remind me."

"I let my jealousy get the better of me... you know, with Sasha dancing with him, and all that..."

"Oh, yeah - that time... but I wouldn't worry, Charlie. Once Killer's out of the house, Bess here will be least of my problems."

"Ah!" said the Spaniel. "I guess you won't want me taking Killy-boy to the Italian restaurant, huh? Mmm... spaghetti!"

"Bess..." the Dachshund replied. "As long as you don't get into baseball territory, I will have no qualms about it. I'm not going to move from my hiding spot until you and Killer are at a safe distance."

Once Charlie had been assured about the 'jealousy problem', he passed over to Itchy the headset he'd been keeping for him.

Using your girlfriend as a distraction, eh? he thought. It only works, if you've got good willpower.

After that, all they had to do was to wait...

Later on, surely enough, the sun began to set. Charlie, Itchy, Bess, and Agent 9 were all stood in the lounge, with the largest of the three dogs delivering one final briefing.

"All right?" he said, in a rather informal conclusion. "Are you all ready, guys?"

"Yes, sir!" the Dachshund, the Cocker Spaniel, and the monkey all called out in unison.

"Then Godspeed, I say!"

With that, the party of three marched out of the house, beginning their heroic stroll over to the curio shop.

At nightfall, the shop finally came into view. As Bess made her way up to the front door, Itchy and Agent 9 looked for places to hide. The Dachshund took cover behind a low wall, outside of earshot, while the monkey moved in behind an alleyway dumpster.

Plucking up her courage, the Spaniel pressed her paw against the buzzer, and waited. She soon heard the sound of metallic feet clunking against the wooden floor...

Creeeaaak.

"Bess?" the dastardly Schnoodle said. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Killer... Umm, what are you doing this evening?"

"Hmm?" Killer perked up his ears. "I'm... not doing much... waaait. Why are you so interested in what I'm doing, anyway? I thought you were with Itchy."

"Well, nah..." Bess made sure to choose her words carefully, unsure as to whether Itchy could still hear her. "We've kinda been... how should I say this? ... Losing interest for a while now."

"Ah... well, I'll be getting ready to go to sleep anytime soon. If we're going to go anywhere, then it'll have to be quick. Tell you what - I'll let you sit on the couch while I go upstairs and get dressed."

All right, Bess thought. Let's do this.

Once the two of them were inside, Bess laid herself down on the green sofa. As her eyes surveyed the room, Killer climbed the stairs up to his bedroom.

When he came back down a few minutes later, the Schnoodle's artificial legs were obscured by a pair of baggy grey trousers and red sneakers, and on his top half, he wore a white T-shirt, which had Maxwell's equations printed on its front.

"I know these clothes might be way too casual," he said, "but it's the best that I've got."

"Oh, don't worry, Killer," the Spaniel commented. "I think it looks fine." Of course, however, this was a little white lie.

"Hmph, all right. So, where d'you wanna go - the beach? That Indian place? Oh, I know - how about Chinatown?"

"The Chinatown? Oh, yes - that'll be great!"

With that, the two dogs made their way out of the shop, with Bess taking Killer by the paw.

Once they were at a safe distance, Agent 9, who had been watching the scene at the doorway through his binoculars, pressed the switch on the headset, and spoke to Itchy:

"Alpha Niner to Checkpoint India. Bravo and Kilo have flown the Red Nest. Repeat, Bravo and Kilo have flown - over."

"Copy that, Niner. Moving in - over and out."

With that, the monkey and the Dachshund approached the back door of the shop. Looking up, Itchy noticed the to-be-expected CCTV camera, which was watching over the doorway. Fortunately, a well-aimed throw of his wakizashi left the camera in a mangle, disabling it.

Next, A-9 stepped over to the air vent which neighboured the door, and picked it open, before beginning to crawl through it.

"India?" he said, looking back over his shoulder. "Are you able to fit through?"

"Negative," came the reply. "Argh! I knew we should've brought that margarine..."

Upon hearing this, the simian clapped a palm against his face.

"All right, time for the backup strategy. Wait there, India - I'm going to go around and open the back door from the inside."

"Huh... Then, why didn't you just pick the door in the first place?"

"Don't be stupid, dog. Everyone rigs their back doors with tripwires these days..."

After making this rather over-generalised claim, Agent 9 crawled the rest of the way through the vent. At the other end, he fell out on to the hard floor, performing an ukemi to soften the landing.

Now that he was on his feet again, he unclipped the flashlight from his belt. Switching it on, the monkey looked to his right...

... And there it was! Just as he and Itchy had been hoping, the Mask was there - resting on top of a solid, black, cuboidal display stand, protected by a cube of glass. However, a wall of slightly thicker glass stood before it, and next to the stand, there was also a large, blue capsule, which rested diagonally against the wall behind.

"... India," he said into the headset. "... The Prize has been sighted."

Upon hearing this, the Dachshund's ears flipped upwards, as he tried not to lose his composure.

"Then, whatever you do," he replied, "do not approach it yet. Make sure you let me in first, okay?"

"Roger that."

As the monkey turned back towards the door, he could see that it was at the end of a short corridor. It took only a few careless steps, before a sharp pain triggered in his foot.

"Tttthhhh!" he seethed. Ouch! A caltrop!

In fact, the whole corridor was littered with the things. Carefully, letting the torch light the way, he sneaked his way back to the rear entrance.

Just as he was almost at the door, his eyes caught sight of something at the bottom of the doorframe - a grey, pillow-shaped box. On the wall opposite it, Agent 9 could see a tiny, red dot.

"Well, fancy that - the door's rigged with a tripwire mine," he said to Itchy, as he sneaked back across the matrix of caltrops. "I'm going to try to set it off with the binoculars - stand back!"

"Niner, no! What the heck do you think you're doing?"

"It's going to have to go off, either way. Unless you want to be turned into sausage-meat... then, stand back."

"Argggh..."

Once Agent 9 was as far away from the door as he could get, he raised the pair of binoculars again, and, holding the flashlight in his other hand, aimed for the door.

Three, two, one... Toss!

The binoculars flew through the air, landed on the other side of the caltrops, and slid into the path of the tripwire...

Bee-bee-beep! Ka-BLAM!

The door was torn from its hinges by the violent explosion which ensued. Agent 9 dove to the side, as the spiky hazards were blown towards his side of the room - some of them embedding themselves in the wall. Meanwhile, outside, Itchy jumped back in shock - even though he had made sure to stand well away, as the monkey had urged him, the boom took him by surprise, as he had no prediction of exactly when it was going to occur.

However, the vibrations from the detonation had spread widely through the ceiling of the back room. The glass wall resonated strongly, before shattering into a thousand pieces, at which point, the room was suddenly illuminated by bright lights.

As Agent 9 shielded his eyes from the brightness, Itchy made his way in.

"Agent 9! Agent 9!" he yelled, once he was at his side. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah..." the simian replied. "Just a little shaken, that's all."

But, then, the Dachshund looked up, and saw that the front panel of the capsule had now slid open.

"Ah!" he said. "Look!"

Vapour began to billow out from the opening, and the sound of creaking metal could be heard coming from within. Before long, the machine inside had completely emerged, and once the vapour had cleared, the Dachshund and the monkey could see exactly what it was.

The metallic being was a robotic dog, clad in an orangey-red exoskeleton, formed from a multitude of sharp-edged polygons. Its underbelly and face were tan in colour, and its eyes were ringed with bright green LEDs.

"It's the Sasha robot!" said Agent 9, pulling his blaster out of the holster as he assumed a kneeling position. Itchy, also preparing to fight, unsheathed the pair of wakizashi from his back.

The robot raised its right arm, such that the upper arm was level, and the forearm was at a half-right angle. Its - or perhaps, her - hand, retracted back into the wrist, and out came a long, thin blade, at least a couple of inches longer than that of the wakizashi.

Agent 9 opened fire. However, the laser blasts only appeared to bounce off, doing barely any damage at all.

"No, don't!" said Itchy. "Hold your fire. I'll handle this!"

He then advanced towards the robot, his swords crossed in front of his face. But, when he jumped up to strike, the robot gave a forceful slash sideways, and as it clashed with the shortswords, the Dachshund was sent tumbling to the side.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Bess and Killer were exploring Chinatown. As they stepped among the many stalls and stands, the Spaniel tried to hold Killer's attention by making small-talk with him.

"Wow," she said, using a pair of chopsticks to pull up some noodles from a small white bowl. "This wonton is delicious - you really should have picked some up for yourself. Mmm!"

Urrrgh, Killer growled in his mind. She's only trying to waste my time.

Before long, the Schnoodle had started to quicken his pace, gradually widening the distance between himself and Bess. He slipped into a clearing in the Chinatown, which was crawling with pedestrians and dog-walkers.

"Killer! Wait!" Bess called after him. "Where are you going?"

Going into the clearing after him, she tried to get him back in her sights. Frantically looking around, it took several vital seconds for her to recognise his trousers and shirt in the crowd.

"Hey, you! You can't go yet!"

She then ran over to the one who wore the grey and white... and upon catching up to him, she used her jaws to grab him by the ankle...

"Hey!"

"Huh?"

Looking up, the Spaniel saw that she'd been mistaken. This was not a dog, but a human! Though his trousers were grey and baggy, his sneakers were blue rather than red, and his T-shirt was completely plain.

"Oh, sorry!" she barked, letting the man go.

"Ha, ha!" Killer sneered, taking a quick look back. "Lost you now, sucker. Those twerps think they can have a little dig through my stuff whilst I'm gone, eh? Well, I'm gonna catch them red-handed!"

Back at the curio shop, the fight between Itchy, Agent 9, and the robotic Sasha had progressed out of the back room, and into the main living space. As the Dachshund and the metallic Irish Setter continued to clash swords, the monkey jumped up from behind the robot, and grabbed on to her neck.

In response, she spun around wildly, trying to throw him off, but his gloves still held firm.

"Go on!" said Itchy, the metallic dog's attention now having been taken from him. Once she had stopped spinning, and was facing away from him, the Dachshund rushed forward, with one sword pointing forward.

However, the robot had very acute reflexes. Reaching her left arm over her shoulder, the hand retracted to reveal a grey nozzle with holes, a small pilot light burning at the end.

Flammmmm!

A stream of fire spewed forth from the nozzle. The heat repelled the two heroes, leaving Agent 9's suit and gloves badly singed.

After initially jumping back, the Dachshund resumed his advance, despite the fact that the robot was now facing him. Their swords clashed together once again, as Agent 9 lay injured on the floor.

Even though the blades were matched two-to-one, the robotic Sasha could parry every one of Itchy's attempted sword-swings. Eventually, the wiener-dog raised the swords in a cross, preparing to perform a cross-chop, but the robot knew exactly how to counter this: by swiping her blade upwards from below, she caught the wakizashi while they were still crossed. Itchy was carried up off the ground, and, just as the handles were wrested from his grasp, he was sent flying.

After that, the robot turned back to Agent 9, and advanced toward him. Just as his shaking hand raised up the laser-blaster, her blade swiped it effortlessly from him, smashing the gun and tossing it through the air at the same time.

"No! Mr. Laser Blaster!"

After that, the metallic Setter raised her blade up high, her left hand now having come back out to support her right wrist. Her voicebox produced a sound resembling crackly, down-sampled cackling, before the sword began to drop...

Shink!

Fortunately, Itchy had quickly recovered from the fall from his brief flight. He had crawled back to collect his swords, and, in this most dire moment, thrown one of them towards the back of robo-Sasha's neck. The cold blade of the wakizashi had penetrated the exoskeleton, and cut through a stand of vital wiring - the robot's spinal cord, so to speak. As the metallic dog fell to the ground, Agent 9 had managed to roll out of the way just in time.

"Hoo... hoo..." the monkey panted. "Whoa, Itch. That was a close one."

"Heh," the Dachshund replied. "You all right, Niner?"

"... Yeah. Just a little... you know... burned out!"

Itchy allowed himself a slight giggle from this.

"Killer! Killer! Get back here!"

But it was too late. the dastardly Schnoodle had already made it to the front door, leaving Bess only able to watch helplessly from a distance.

"Ah-ha!" he yelled, as the doors burst open. "Not so fast, you twerpish pricks!"

Itchy stood himself back up. As he stepped over to retrieve his second sword, Killer dashed towards a gun-rack which was positioned just by the door. From it, he took out a sawn-off shotgun, and pointed it at the Dachshund.

"Niner, go," said Itchy, as he poised himself. As he had instructed, Agent 9 got back on his feet, before limping his way to the back room.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Killer yelled, pulling the trigger. However, Itchy had jumped to defend the monkey, crossing the swords in front of himself. The metal of the blades had deflected some of the pellets, but not all of them...

"Eeyargh!"

As Agent 9 made it into the back room, he turned to face the Mask again. Stepping up, still with a limp, he smashed the glass with his fist, before taking the object away.

But, as he continued, his head began to feel very light indeed. His eyes caught a glimpse of the open door, and read the first sticker...

"No..." he panted. "Radiation hazard? Ohhh..."

Despite this, he still soldiered on, stepping through the caltrop-littered exit path.

But, just as he reached the blown-out doorway...

Boom!

The second shot had been fired from the sawn-off. As the vast array of flying pellets tore through his back, the monkey fell to the cold, hard ground.

"Noooooooo!" Itchy yelled, still seething from the agony of having half a shot's worth of pellets embedded in his torso. "Agent Niiiiine!"

As Killer stepped up to the monkey's fallen body, he reached down to take back the Mask of Belladonna.

"Ha, ha, ha! My preciousss!"

Outside, a downpour of rain began to fall from the dark sky above. Bess, realising the failure of the mission, started to make her way back to David's house, the precipitation leaving her dress sopping wet as she went...

Author's Note: Fun fact - I was watching The Fellowship of the Ring when I was writing the last part of this chapter. (That's why Killer says, 'my precious'.)