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-=June 22nd - Caged=-

"Erik…" Lucy let out a breathy moan. She was loving the attention he was giving her neck, but a woman needs more than that, doesn't she?

She forcefully took Cobra's chin and brought his lips to hers, pausing for a moment, then wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

"Lu– hmmm…" Lucy silenced him with her lips, the opened door becoming unnoticeable to him.

Seconds later, hyperventilated gasping could be heard along with a…fangirl squeal?

"KYYYAAAA! IT'S COBRA AND LUCY! Uh mi gersh…EVERYBODY LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! IT'S FUCKING," Mirajane literally added two lines in the air with her blue-light pen. "COBRA AND LUCY!"

Just as everybody gathered around the door, the two mages slowly cocked their heads towards the large group pouring out of the door. "Holy fuuu–"

Lucy was interrupted by, "YOU DARE DEFILE MY PRECIOUS LUCY-CHAN! FUCKING DIE YOU LITTLE SHIT-HEAD!" (courtesy of Erza Scarlet) and, "COOOOBRAAAA! THAT'S MY GODDAMN PARTNER! FIGHT MEEEE!" As well as, "Oh my god…Hey sis, just remember to wear protection, 'kay?" Gray wiggled his brows.

"Holy shit!" Cobra read Lucy's soul, who was begging him to 'FUCKING RUN OR ELSE I'LL CASTRATE YOU SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY AS WELL AS FEED YOU TO THE ERZA~!'

He let Lucy down gently to bow down multiple times, pick her up princess-style, and fucking run for his (their) life.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Cobra kept chanting as he ran towards the nearest exit which, just so happened to be, where Master fucking Makarov was standing with a perverted grin, simply begging to be slapped clean off of his face.

"Quit fucking cussing you goddamn fuck-tard!" She hissed, earning a deadpan expression from him.

"Light's out brats!" Was the last thing they heard before becoming unconscious by Master's titan-formed hand.

Lucy was awoken by the shaking of her shoulders which was –of course– Cobra's doing.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP LU!"

Her eyes snapped open as she slapped him upside the head. "CALM THE FUCK DOWN CO…" She looked around and saw that she was literally in a goddamn cage. "…bra?"

She was met with the eyes of their captors. "What the holy and infinite–?" Lucy was interrupted by the animalistic glint in Erza's eyes as she smiled suggestively at her prey. "DAMMIT COBRA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"MY FAULT?!" He snapped his neck towards her with a murderous gleam in his death-glare. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FUCKING WANTED TO FUCK! LITERALLY!"

The blonde gasped. "NU-UH! YOU COULD'VE ATLEAST CHOSEN A BETTER PLACE THAN THE DAMN GUILD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WE HAVE DRAGON SLAYERS! FUCKING DRAGON SLAYERS, BITCH!"

"I LIVE WITH YOU AND PRACTICALLY YOUR TEAMMATES AS WELL WITH HOW MANY TIMES THEY BARGE IN!"

"SO?! YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN A HOTEL ROOM!"

"I AIN'T SPENDING MY MOTHER FUCKING MONEY ON YOU BITCH!"

The two growled before pouncing on each other, grabbing one another's cheek, pulling hair, ripping clothes, making sure the other cries out in pain.

It. Was. Mayhem.

And their guild mates did nothing but sit back and watch the two animals' attempt at killing each other.

⁀⊙﹏⊙⁀

*Tell me again, why did I write this?!*

I'm sorry that this was more of a drabble than a one-shot, but!

Tomorrow shall pay off for you all~! Anyways~, thanks for

following, reading, favoriting, and/or reviewing this Fic

of mine. Just know that I love you all from the tip of

my toes to the top of my heart ('Cause bottom is

too sad and mainstream)!

Thanks Again! ~ Light