A/N: Hello, and welcome to another chapter of Project Freelancer Plays Cards Against Humanity! This one includes reasons why Mommy is crying, and be warned from some awful themes as usual.

*The REAL Reason Why Mommy is Crying*

South handed the deck of black cards to North, who let out a sigh and flipped over the next card to start round 3. When he began to read it, he face-palmed. "Oh for fuck's sake, you have got to be kidding me."

"Why? What is it?" York asked, leaning over the table. Unfortunately, this made Tex and Carolina glare at him intensely. "York, if you want your baby makers to be functioning, I recommend sitting the fuck down."

The tan Freelancer took Tex's threat seriously and sat down, taking the black card from North so he could read it aloud. "Daddy, why is Mommy crying? Wow, we could have a lot of material for this one. Why are you bitching about it, North?"

The purple Freelancer rubbed his temples in slight frustration. "Because Florida is going to give another shitty one. Again." The blue Freelancer stood up in protest, but glares from Tex and South made him sit back down, muttering something that sounded a lot like "Asshole."

York made to place his white card down, but Tex cleared her throat. "Ahem. York, it's ladies first, you know. South, will you go?"

The lavender Freelancer nodded and placed her card down with an amused smile. "Mommy is crying from the Chinese gymnastics team." York and Florida both spat out some coffee. "That's racist as fuck!"

Wyoming rolled his eyes and held up the box. "Guys, it's called the world's most offensive game for a reason, so stop bitching about it and just play." Carolina nodded and placed her card down. "Mommy is crying from getting your penis caught in a mousetrap." For probably the umpteenth time, the male Freelancers cringed and held their crotches protectively. "Please don't…"

Maine set his card down with a small hiss of annoyance, prompting York to read it out loud. "Mommy is crying from sex on ice skates." Wyoming smirked as he nudged CT. "That sounds very fun. CT, you wanna try that?"

CT glared at him, her fist clenched. "I will rip your spine out and use it as a coathanger." She slammed her hand down, making many of the Freelancers jump. "Mommy is crying from erectile dysfunction." (A/N: AuroraBlix!)

Florida and Maine let out amused grumbles, with Wyoming still trying to play off the fact that CT had probably just beaten him. "Not bad CT. Not bad at all."

Florida groaned and threw a card out, feeling slightly annoyed. "Mommy is crying from that annoying teeny bopper Doctor Who fan who's butthurt that the new Doctor isn't in his twenties." Wyoming and South laughed, for they had watched that show many times with everyone. "Oh man, that is so true…"

North slapped the older Freelancer on the back. "For once, that one wasn't shitty. Good job mate."

Wyoming placed his card down, leaning back. "Mommy is crying from getting sodomized by a toilet plunger dildo." York and Maine winced. "Ouch…that has got to hurt Wy." The massive Freelancer let out a small growl. "Grr."

"Maine, was that you saying 'I know' or 'You're an asshole'?"

"Grr."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, I agree with you. I hope that isn't a real thing either."

Wyoming held up a picture of one on his datapad, a sad smile on his face. "Sorry chaps, but it really is. They need a real job."

Wash was next, and his card sucked again. "Mommy is crying from my humps." CT and Florida exchanged glances, confused as fuck. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I know, it doesn't even make sense!"

CT glared at Wash, who was stunned by the horrible reactions. "Wash, you suck harder than Kim Kardashian. And that is saying something." Wyoming and York laughed at the insult. "Ooooh, burn!"

Wash put his head down in defeat. "I fucking give up at this…" Tex slapped him as she threw a card down on the table. "Don't. my card might suck more than yours for this round. Mommy is crying from a Weeping Angel giving the finger."

Wyoming shook his head in slight amusement. "Nah, yours was better Tex. Wash's was worse." Tex sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. "I can see it now…a Weeping Angel is giving North the finger as I pin South under the mistletoe…"

"TEX!"

"What's wrong with that? what did you think we were doing in the shower last week?"

"I regret asking," North groaned, letting his head fall on the table. He sat up to announce the winner. "The winner of this round is CT. Sorry, but that one was deemed the best."

So, Mommy is crying from erectile dysfunction. Well, that explains last night in a nutshell…

A/N: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Next up is how they lost their virginity! Any suggestions are welcome!

Ja'ne!