A/N: Hello everyone, and welcome to the eighth chapter of Project Freelancer Plays Cards Against Humanity. After careful thought (and many hours of playing the damn game online with friends), I have decided that this will likely be one of the final three chapters. To those who are disappointed: I'm sorry. But look for more shenanigans in the future.

*Grandma's Guilty Pleasure*

York was handed the deck of black cards, which by now was starting to dwindle quite a bit. 'Guys, we have a problem. We're running out of black cards." The pile was little more than just three remaining cards. Time sure does fly by when you're doing absolutely nothing productive and you and a bunch of your mates are just sitting around playing a really offensive card game.

Maine loomed over the table, and the big man's shoulder slumped as he saw the remaining three. He let out a small grumble of seemingly disappointment; he sure did enjoy this game.

York patted him on the back. "Don't worry big guy. We'll make these remaining three count." He flipped the next black card over, raising an eyebrow. "What would Grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Guys, make this one as good as you fucking can; I need a good laugh."

North slapped a card from his hand down quickly, the sudden movement startling Wash and York. "Grandma would find Sean Connery disturbing yet oddly charming."

This name caught a certain British Freelancer's attention. "Wasn't he James Bond at one point? What was the third movie called? The really good one."

"Goldfinger, I think," Carolina answered, running a hand through her hair. "Speaking of which…Grandma would find Shane Dawson disturbing yet oddly charming." Her green eyes twitched slightly. "Maybe if he stopped making abortion jokes, he'd be a bit sexier."

"But isn't that what he thrives on? Just saying awful shit that he either makes up as he goes along or already has planned?" South pointed out, motioning for Wyoming to go in front of her. And the British man's card was…ironic in a sense. "Grandma would find picking up girls at the abortion clinic disturbing yet oddly charming."

Wash and Florida each exchanged a wince, shaking their heads. "Aw man…that's good, but pretty fucked up."

"You don't say."

The black/gold Freelancer chuckled, throwing out his. "Grandma would find tasteful sideboob disturbing yet oddly charming." Several Freelancers stared at him, with North trying hard to control his laughter. "Grandma, you saucy minx…oh man, Wash has had a couple of decent ones as of late." It seems his confidence was beginning to rise.

But, as Tex went, it got completely shot down. "Grandma would find DEEZ NUTS disturbing yet oddly charming." North slapped his hands, laughing and starting up the sequence. "HA!"

York finished the punchline, the three of them having memorized that Vine video by heart. "GOT EM!" The tan Freelancer tried to ignore an audible groan that they all heard from the hallway, most likely a passing soldier who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Wyoming chuckled, stroking his mustache. "There was an audible groan from back there." Tex looked outside to see who it could have been. "I think it was Burns." The poor guy really hated stupid Vine videos as much as everyone hated Wyoming's knock-knock jokes.

Tex wiped her eyes, shaking her head. "I think the Director would be ashamed of us if he came in. We're supposed to be badasses stopping the Insurrection, and yet here we are, spending our time playing a card game." Good thing he wasn't around then.

South went, slightly confused at the name of the person who was on her card. "Grandma would find the Arbiter disturbing yet oddly charming. Who the fuck is the Arbiter!?"

Carolina shrugged, not really caring. "Dunno. Sounds like some stupid alien name. You know, like the Prophet of Abiding Truth or some shit. Seriously, who comes up with half of the names? It's like a really shitty fanfiction."

Warning: VERY OFFENSIVE CARD APPROACHING! Don't like it, then skip to the next one

Florida was next, and the older man seemed to be amused at something. "I think you'll like this one…Grandma would find the big league of being a giant faggot disturbing yet oddly charming."

Many of the Freelancers gasped, for that was the most fucked up card ever. Of all time. "FLORIDA! You can't put that one down!"

The older Freelancer curiously raised an eyebrow. "And why is that? It's called Cards Against Humanity; not Cards For Humanity." Wyoming simply shrugged. "He does have a point…"

North sighed and shook his head. "I don't know, man. There's no way in hell the author of this is gonna be able to get away with this one."

South looked at her twin, incredulous. "Wait, there's someone making a fanfiction out of this? What's his name?" North pulled out his laptop, searching. "I think he's called…Little Dragon-kun. Yeah, that's it."

Tex scoffed, shaking her head. "What kind of name is that?" North shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. He considered changing it to 'Sexy Blonde Hockey Stud' as a joke, but I doubt he would've gotten away with it. Besides, his girlfriend talked him out of it, so no harm done."

"Well, if he's a Swede, then he is automatically hot…" Carolina began to water at the mouth, making York slam his head onto the desk. "I regret letting her watch Pewdiepie…"

You're safe now…

Maine went with a slight grumble, maybe having finally run out of decent cards. Yet, as York leaned over to read it, that was not the case. The massive white Freelancer may have just won himself another round of this awfulness. "Grandma would find bitches disturbing yet oddly charming."

There was a loud chorus of laughter, mainly from the Three Stooges (York, North, and Wash). The three all patted Maine on the back, applauding him. "Holy shit man! Where did you get all of these good cards!? We want your hand, now."

Maine stood up and performed a fake bow, a deep rumble coming from his throat. York looked over each selection, thinking carefully. "I think the last one to go is CT."

The brown Freelancer looked up from her book to place a card down. "Grandma would find a gaybot disturbing yet oddly charming."

"What the hell is a gaybot?" South asked. CT shrugged, going back to her book (which everyone could see was Fifty Shades of Grey). "Dunno. Maybe it's a gay robot?"

Blood Gulch

"Achoo!" Church sneezed loudly.

"Now someone's talking about you, dude," Tucker laughed at his patrol companion. Church responded by giving him the middle finger, making Tucker shake his head. "No thanks. Unlike you, I'm not a gay robot."

To le Freelancers

York pondered over the choices, having difficulty. "I don't know which one to choose…some of these are quite good!"

"Then you can get rid of Florida's," North muttered. Florida jumped out of his seat, protesting. "Aw come on! It is not that big of a deal!"

A series of glares from Tex and South made him sit back down. "Shut up, Granddad. That card was offensive as fuck. You automatically lose." The older blue agent sat down, hanging his head. "Okay."

York shook his head before deciding on a winner. "This round's winner is…Tex." The black Freelancer smiled smugly at Carolina's reddening face. "Thank you, York. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone to do dominate senseless~. South, get over here."

The lavender Freelancer's face turned red from embarrassment as she obediently followed Tex out into the hallway, shutting the door.

As several loud moans of "TEEEEEX!" filled everyone's ears, York shook his head, trying his best to ignore the moans. "Um…next round?"

A/N: I know. That one card was beyond fucked up. Let me make this clear before you decide to send me hate mail: I don't have any problems with homosexuality, alright? I really don't. So, if you got offended, then you are reading the wrong fanfic. I warned in the beginning: this fanfic will contain awful themes. Anyway…what I don't want to find in my Kung Pao chicken is next.

Ja'ne