A/N: Well…here's the second to last chapter of Project Freelancer Plays Cards Against Humanity. It's been a very amusing ride (can't thank you enough), and I can't begin to express how happy I am to know this is an inspiration to others who want to do one of these. You're all great!

*Not in My Kung Pao Chicken!*

York looked over at CT, the brown Freelancer still quietly reading Fifty Shades of Gray. When she didn't look up, York cleared his throat loudly to get her attention. "CT, if you could be so kind as to stop reading your smut and take the role as the judge, we'd be ever so grateful."

CT looked up, a hint of red (either from anger or embarrassment) on her cheeks. "It's not smut! It's…a work of literature." Basically…smut.

North chuckled and looked around the table, seeing they were missing a few people. "Wait, is Tex STILL dominating my sister?" Not something the everyday soldier hears often. But on the MoI, that was a very common occurrence that happened perhaps too much for North's pleasure.

Wyoming opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, Tex and South appeared, both back at the table. Both Freelancers seemed…a little heated. Wash raised an eyebrow as he observed the two. "Busy?"

Tex nodded, smirking as she leaned backwards in her chair. "Yep. Someone sure enjoyed themselves. Right, South~?" The lavender Freelancer looked away, blushing. "Dammit Tex…"

CT rolled her eyes, putting her smut down to flip over the second to last black card, her eyebrow twitching. "What would I not want to find in my Kung Pao Chicken? Great, now this game is starting to make me hungry."

Wash laughed as he placed his card down. "I wouldn't want to find a tentacle porn monster with 9 dicks in my Kung Pao chicken. Or anywhere else, for that matter." North let out a slightly exasperated sigh as he shook his head. "Dude, didn't we tell you to stop watching that damn hentai? Called 'Urisakadoji' or some fucked up shit?"

"Speaking of some fucked up shit," York placed his card down with an amused smile. "I would not want to find the product of some really fucked up shit in my Kung Pao Chicken." Maine hissed in agreement with the tan Freelancer, throwing out his own card with a grumble.

With the silent and massive man somehow getting all of the good cards, everyone was quite eager to find out exactly what he put down. York read it out loud, trying his best to keep a straight face (and failing quite spectacularly). "I would not want to find…the smallest, whitest dick in my Kung Pao Chicken. Dammit Maine. We're stealing your hand after this is done." Yet another seemingly unbeatable one for the big man.

Tex ran a hand through her hair, looking backwards at the door. "Don't count him as the winner yet. I wouldn't want to find a tiny Chinese micropenis in my Kung Pao chicken. Or anywhere, as I don't like dick."

"I came out of my mother," Wash returned, letting his head crash on the table. Tex gave him a confused look. "What the fuck?"

The black/gold Freelancer lifted his head up, unamused. "I thought we were stating things that were obvious." His snark earned him quite the few laughs (and furious glares courtesy of Tex and South). The black Freelancer pointed to the far corner of the room. "WASH! GO TO YOUR CORNER!"

Wash let out a groan, but he went to the Corner of Shame to serve his punishment. He didn't like the corner.

Wyoming chuckled, placing his card down. "I'm not sure if this is really offensive, but whatever. I wouldn't want to find a doughnut with less cream than Justin Bieber's asshole in my Kung Pao chicken." He was met by several high-fives, for they ALL hated the annoying teenage singer, who still sounded like a six year old girl with no pubes. "Fuck it. We're ending this round. That's our winner. Everyone, please congratulate Mr. Agent Wyoming of Project Freelancer for winning Round 9 of Cards Against Humanity."

The British man was pleasantly surprised by the praise. "Really? It was that good?" Tex nodded, amused. "Yeah. And praise isn't something you hear from me very often. Unless it's me telling South that she's good with her tongue." North let out another groan of frustration, muttering under his breath. His sister turned redder than Carolina's hair, which was quite a good feat. "Tex!"

The black Freelancer smiled innocently, prompting Carolina to go next. "I wouldn't want to find…a gouged out eyeball in my Kung Pao chicken. How about not finding that anywhere? I haven't forgotten all those shitty horror movies you guys are obsessed with." Yet another guilty pleasure of the Freelancers (apart from playing horrible card games when they're bored) was watching very terrible horror movies. Some of them were very funny, including Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland. But plenty of others were just AWFUL. (A/N: I think the 'Paranormal Activity' movies just suck…no offense)

South went next, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. "I wouldn't want to find the chopped off piece of Vincent Van Gogh's ear in my Kung Pao chicken." North closed his eyes, snickering. "Sis, do you even know who that is?" The lavender Freelancer thought about it for a few minutes. "Wasn't he an old painter? One who wasn't famous until well after he died?" (A/N: Sorry…I just happened to be watching that one Doctor Who episode with Van Gogh in it)

North let out another sigh, realizing he was the second to last person to go. "I wouldn't want to find Darth Vader in my Kung Pao chicken." Even from the Corner of Shame, Wash and York still managed to laugh at their friend's card. "Dude, I knew this one was going to pop up some time or another."

"Not too bad, North. Not bad at all," Wash agreed, looking over at Tex pleadingly. "Can I please come out of the Corner of Shame? It's getting hot…"

The black Freelancer responded by 'borrowing' (*cough* stealing *cough*) Carolina's grappling gun thing and shooting at Wash's crotch. The black/gold Freelancer dodged the attack, holding his crotch. "I take that as a no…"

Tex threw the device back to its owner, who wasn't pleased. "I know I missed. I don't care. Florida, you're the last one. But so help me if you put another offensive card down."

The blue Freelancer snorted, throwing a card from his dwindling hand. "Whatever. I wouldn't want to find an Italian plumber who looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black guy, grabs coins like a Jew, and is created by Japanese people in my Kung Pao chicken." (A/N: Again, no offense.)

Tex let out a growl, about to hit him when South cleared her throat. "Tex, calm down. All he did was describe Mario." Now that everyone thought about it, it wasn't too bad like the last card the older Freelancer placed down the previous round.

CT put her smut down to announce a winner, and for once all the Freelancers agreed on her choice. "The winner is Wyoming." The quiet Freelancer went back to reading her Fifty Shades of Grey, leaving the others to the game.

"One round left. We better make it count."

"WASH! STAY IN YOUR CORNER!"

A/N: I'm almost sad that this is coming to an end…but the last round will hopefully be good. The final round will be…What is a girl's best friend? See you then!