Krem de la crème

Cremisius Aclassi considered himself a great many things, but blind wasn't one of them. In fact, he considered himself rather adept at spotting most people's intentions, most of it taught to him by theirs truly, the Iron Bull. Which made the situation Krem now witnessed all the more bizarre.

When the Chargers had first arrived at Haven, it was plain as day that the supposed Herald was infatuated with their charismatic leader, which wasn't anything unusual. Many people were drawn to Bull, so Krem wasn't surprised the petite little elf had become one of the many admirers the chief often got.

Admirers he often, and most enthusiastically, responded to. Yet there he stood, completely oblivious to the way their poor boss hopelessly tried to get him to open up, even throwing in some horrible attempts at seeming flirty. At first, she had just seemed generally curious to get to know the guy which she would fight beside with out in the field. But after a short couple of weeks, involving both battles and long nights in the Hinterlands, her generic questions had slowly started to lean more towards the direction Krem knew all too well. And someone, please bury him, was it painful to watch.

To be fair, the first time wasn't that bad, if maybe a bit awkward. The boss asked a generally valid question, which the chief chose to answer with a...less generally valid response. Krem could swear that the Herald went on her way that day a couple of shades darker than usual.

After that, it seemed she tried all the harder to get some sort of response, which the chief seemed to throw aside as soon as they were out. And Krem, couldn't for the world of it, understand why. The Herald was a pretty little thing, dark and luscious, efficient in battle and concerned for those around her. For suddenly being thrown into this position she didn't want, she took her role extremely well. So why this sudden disregard to her advances, or perhaps even blindness to it? It could be as simple as that the chief actually weren't interested, but that seemed terribly out of character, not to mention that Krem had heard a few people, one of them an actual sister from the Chantry, talking about having spent time with the captain of the Chargers.

And from the looks of it, the Herald had heard as well, seeing as she had been taking a walk with Krem, asking about the company and such, just as the sister had shared her activities to her companion. To say that she looked surprised was an understatement, and the walk back to the tent was a silent, awkward one.

She stopped flirting after that.

oOo

Then Haven was attacked, and the Herald believed lost in the avalanche. Commander Cullen together with a few soldiers had ventured out into the storm, desperately looking for her. And found her they did, almost frozen to death. Krem could swear he saw the chief looking considerably more at ease once they found out she was going to be alright.

oOo

After they had found Skyhold and settled in, Krem was surprised when Bull had decided to invite the boss, now Inquisitor, to have a drink with them. But not at all unwelcome, as Krem had talked with her before, and knew she was pleasant company. The chief had introduced everyone, and the evening had passed by smoothly and quick. The Inquisitor seemed giddy and energetic when she left, though that could simply have been the mead's doing.

"She didn't even lift an eyebrow." Krem mumbled through the tipsy haze. "Just nodded and went on wi' it."

"That she did." Bull mused beside him, resting on his arms against the table. "Sure is something, our boss."

oOo

When the Chargers hear the horn that tells them to pull back, Krem gets an uneasy feeling in his gut. And when he finds out that their leader's Tal-Vashoth cover no longer is just a cover, that uneasy feeling turns a hundred times worse.

Bull doesn't seem to mind though. For once, he seems more eager to discuss his current situation with the boss, which ends up with two assassins falling from the wall and down the mountain. The Inquisitor walked with him back to the tavern after that little encounter, and Krem can't believe his eyes. He actually can't believe he's hearing it. The boss was flirting with the chief. Again. And it's still as terrible as the first times. Krem can't handle it anymore. Something has to be done.

When the Inquisitor had left the tavern, going her usual round among the grounds, Krem got up from his usual spot and walked over to Bull with determined steps and stops in front of him. The chief actually looks surprised, maybe because of Krem's stern expression.

"Chief..." He began, and folded his arms. "I know you only have one eye left, but you can't possibly be this blind. You do know the Inquisitor is trying her absolute damnedest to flirt with you, right?"

Bull stared at him for a long time, before bending over, roaring with laughter. Krem only stared back, confusion most likely showing up on his face. After some time, the laughter finally dies down, and Bull looked up at him again, a huge grin on his lips.

"Oh, I know the boss is flirting with me." He chuckled and folded his arms as well.

Krem frowned at him and rubbed his forehead.

"Well, you better do something about it then!" He muttered. "Because my insides literally hurt every time I watch her try and fail."

Bull only chuckled again, and tilted his head to the side.

"Who said she was failing?" He asked, before standing up again, and without waiting for a reply, left the tavern.

oOo

Cremisius Aclassi considered himself a great many things, apparently being blind one of them, as he walked around the tavern, looking to train on one of the techniques Bull had shown him, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the chief himself and the Inquisitor passionately kissing against the stonewall, the latter moaning so loudly that Krem had to turn around immediately, and as quickly as possible make it back to the tavern. He needed a drink. A really strong one.