Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. The characters of '24' are property of FOX and all that googley-goop, and other characters are made up, any similarities from any characters, names, or events are completely coincidental. No giant vats of Nickelodeon slime were harmed during the filming of this episode. Disclaimer over!
The 24 Parody Project
Episode 24
6:00am – 7:00am 'Toxic Sunrise'
AT THE FOX EXECUTIVE HEADQUARTERS!
Fred, Paul, and Sam are sitting around a table with party hats on.
Fred (holding up champagne): Well guys, here's to making it to the Season Finale of 24! Great job!
The guys clink their glasses together.
All: Cheers!
Fred: Yup! And I've already sent in the draft of the last episode, and it was the correct one.
Paul and Sam look at each other.
Paul: What are you talking about?
Fred: I sent in the actual Season Finale episode that actually pertained to the plot. Not one of the disasters you two come up with on a weekly basis.
Fred reaches over and grabs an envelope.
Fred: This was yours, and you thought I wouldn't catch it.
He pulls out the script and reads over it.
Fred: Ha, ha…..I can't believe I almost let this one go through…..wait…………..(Reads it)……..AHHHH! I sent the wrong one in!!!!!
Fred hops out of his chair and runs out of the room screaming.
Sam: I don't remember writing an episode this week.
Paul: Neither do I, Sam…….Neither do I……..
Sam: Oh well. More Champagne for us!
Paul: Woo hoo!
Beep……beep……beep……beep……bepbebpebepbepbepbpepbepbepbepbe……….24!!!!!
Jack: Previously on 24……
-SWOOSH-
Michelle: Tony, Karen, Bill, Morris and Baxter are doing really terribly out there. We should probably do something.
Chloe: Laugh at their expense?
Michelle: Okay!
Michelle sits next to Chloe and they both start horfing down popcorn. –SNARF!-
Chloe: 'Horfing' isn't a word, jerk! (MICHELLE DESSLER AND FRIENDS)
-SWOOSH-
Jack: Those people have found Harry Love at some house, I think it would be crucial if you'd come with us!
Logan: Why?
Jack: Because…..
Logan: Is that all you got?
Jack: Yeah, it's late and I'm tired.
Doyle: He can only scream and get his way a certain number of times in one 24 hour period.
Jack: I'll kill you!
They start slapping each other. –SLAPPITY!-
Logan: Can't I just stay here?!
Jack: No. (JACK BAUER)
-SWOOSH-
Jack's picture prints out of the fax machine.
George: I don't have a choice this must be done I have to kill Jack Bauer.
George opens the restroom.
Woman on the toilet: AIIIIIIIEEEE!
George: Oh! Sorry!
George opens the next door; he gets hit in the head with a roll of toilet paper. –BONK!-
George: Ow…
Woman: GET OUT! You fiend!
George: Okay, we'll go with door number 3…. (GEORGE MASON)
George touches Jack's shoulder; he falls dead to the ground. –KLUMP!-
George dusts his hands off.
-SWOOSH-
Tom: Nadia. I just found this video recording between David Palmer and Karen Hayes!
Karen: That's me! (KAREN HAYES)
Tom: Ugh…..anyway, bad stuff is a brewin.
Nadia: I stopped listening after 'Nadia'.
Tom: Oh good grief. (THE WHITE HOUSE STAFF)
Nadia listening on the phone while Tom continues to talk.
Tom: The code to bypass the toxin releasing is in a chip inside Sherry Palmer's body.
Nadia: That's……not good…….nor does it make sense…..but not good nonetheless…. (COUNTER TERRORIST UNIT)
-SWOOSH-
David Palmer: And don't forget that Allstate Car Insurance offers 'Accident Forgiveness'. Which means for every 6 months you go without having a wreck….you get a cookie!
Karen (screams): YES!
Fred: Will you get on with it?! And get David Palmer out of there! Yeesh!
Kim: The following takes place between 6:00am and 7:00am……
Dawn is starting to break across the wonderful city of Los Angeles. Meanwhile, at the Open House Halloween Party, Agent Mike Doyle and Ex-President Sorta Terrorist Convict Charles Logan are walking quickly down the hall. Doyle pounds on the bathroom door. –BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!-
Doyle: Jack! Are you in there! Jack!
Doyle kicks down the door to see Jack in the bathtub taking a bubble bath with his rubber ducky!
Jack (singing): Rubber Ducky! You're the one! (Squeek! Squeek!) oh……crap I don't know the rest of the words!
Doyle: What the hell were you thinking!? You just killed The President of Australia. Good going, Schmuck!
Jack: What in tartar sauce are you talking about!
Doyle: Logan and I just saw you on the roof, you shot President Love!
Logan: Well, in all actuality I saw him; you just arrived a little late.
Jack: I didn't shoot anybody; I just came in here to take a bath!
Doyle: A likely story. Well, you didn't have to kill him; we could've detained him and found out where Callahan is!
Logan: Well, he did look like he was pulling out a gun, but I could've been wrong.
Jack: You guys are nuts. I'm telling you I didn't shoot anybody.
Logan: Um…..Jack….can you like……reposition your bubbles, you're showing off your business to everybody.
Jack: I'm in the privacy of this bathroom. So I can have as many bubbles as I want!
The ground gives out and the bathtub crashes to the first floor. People start screaming.
Jack: Oh shut up, you guys are so immature!
Doyle sighs, shaking his head. Him and Logan head out.
Somewhere else, Rolando Callahan is sitting out in his car still. He gets on his phone.
Rolando: Hello?
Guard: Yes sir?
Rolando: I need you to go ahead and do me a favor….
Guard: What's that sir?
Rolando: I need you…….to go ahead……..and activate the device!
Guard: ……
Rolando: …..
Guard: …..What device sir?
Rolando: Are you freaking kidding me!? The 'Release Toxic Crap Into The City's Water Supply' Device. Geez, is it your first day or something!
Guard: Actually it is!
Rolando: Oh….well, put guard number 2 on there then.
Guard (in the background): Here, Callahan wishes to speak with you.
Guard 2: Hola?
Rolando: Yes, I need you to……What did you just say?
Guard 2: Que?
Rolando: Uh…….What…..did you say?
Guard 2: Que?
Rolando: Oh crap, put someone else on the phone!
Guard 2: Que?
Rolando: Numbero Uno!
Guard 1 takes the phone back.
Rolando: Can I talk to someone who can speak English and has worked there for more than a day.
Guard: Sure.
Guard 3: Hello, Mr. Callahan!
Rolando: Hello, I need you to….
Guard 3 (sobbing): I really needed to talk to you! You see my girlfriend left me and I thought it was going somewhere and….
Rolando: PUT 1 BACK ON THE PHONE!
Guard: Yes sir?
Rolando: Someone who isn't depressed about their recent breakup either.
Guard 4: Hello sir.
Rolando: Hello, I…..
-KABOOOOOOM!-
Guard 1: Hello, sir.
Rolando: What the hell was that?!
Guard: The last guard blew up, sir.
Rolando: Oh geez, I'm going to be here all day. Okay, go in the big building next to you.
Guard: Okay………..okay, I'm there!
Rolando: Now, do you see the Big Blue Box!?
Guard: Yes.
Rolando: There should be a level, flip the lever!
Guard: It's flipped sir, this thing has been running for some time now.
Rolando: Oh…..that was unexpected. Okay, there should be a timer. How much time are we looking at until the machine releases?
Guard: About 45 minutes, sir.
Rolando: Wonderful, that is all!
He hangs up.
Rolando: Geez Louise!
AT CTU.
Marilyn stuff's Audrey's unconscious body in a garbage bag and drags her down the stairs through the main hall.
Nadia: Hey Marilyn, you have a lot of trash there.
Milo: Yeah, do you need help with that?
Marilyn: No thanks, I got it. –DRAG!...DRAG!-
Nadia: What a nice woman.
Milo and Sherry nod in agreement.
Marilyn continues to drag the sack through the parking lot. She grabs Audrey's keys and unlocks the trunk. After tossing her body in there and slamming the truck door, she proceeds to the driver's seat and turns on the vehicle. It backs out of it's space and drives off into the almost sunrise.
Back inside….
Sherry: So….what do you mean this override code is in me?
Nadia: Exactly how it's said, I don't know how we get it though.
The phone rings, Sherry picks it up.
Sherry: CTU Palmer.
George: Sherry, its George Mason.
Sherry: Oh hell…..
George: I've done it……Jack Bauer is dead.
Sherry: WHAT?! You killed him! But….we didn't get a chance to find out if this whole mess is dealt with yet….
The other line starts to ring; 'Jack Bauer Cell' is displayed on the caller ID.
Sherry, confused, takes a closer look.
Sherry: Uh….George? Are you sure you killed Jack Bauer?
George: Of course I did!
Sherry: Well….that's special. Good for you! See you when you get here, toodles!
She switches to the other line.
Sherry: Jack?
Jack: Jack, its Sherry Palmer! I'm giving you an update on the situation.
Sherry: Huh? What? But you're….oh screw it. What is it, Jack?
Jack: We just left the building. Oh that and Harry Love is dead….
Sherry: WHAT?!
Doyle (in the background): Because Jack shot him!
Jack: Did not!
Sherry: Jack, you killed the Australian President! Do you know how much trouble you can get into!
Jack: I didn't kill anybody!
Sherry: Well, where are you guys now?
Jack: We're going to drive around aimlessly for a little bit. We need to find Rolando Callahan as soon as possible. Have you talked to Chloe yet?
Sherry: Not yet, they're still in prison.
Jack: Oookay. That's nice. Anyway, call me the second Chloe gets there. We need to find him before he gets away.
Jack hangs up the phone.
Back at the White House. Tom leaves the Oval Office and he finds the mysterious individual lingering about, he spots Tom and quickly walks off in the other direction.
Tom: Hmm….way too suspicious.
Tom makes chase which leads him into the bathroom. Tom slowly walks through, grabbing a plunger on the way.
Tom: Marco!
Voice: Polo!
Tom kicks a stall door and rams the plunger in the guy's face. –PLUNGE!-
Guy: ACK!
Tom: Okay, punk! You are looking very suspicious. What are you, a mole?! Trying to assassinate the President, are ya?! Achieve confidential documents? Bomb the White House?! Spill it!
Guy: Never!
Tom: Okay, then….you asked for it.
Tom picks the plunger back up. It falls apart in his hand.
Tom: Oh fiddlesticks!
Guy: Yes.
Tom: Oh, you're not getting away that easily!
Tom pulls out some rope, wherever he got that from, and ties the mysterious man to the toilet stall.
Man: You'll never get away with this!
Tom: Oh, quit talking like you're the good guy! I have to go find another plunger to torture you with. Be right back.
Tom runs out of the bathroom.
At CTU 'Happy Burger'.
Kim: Ugh, I can't take this stupid job anymore!
Kim pulls off her burger costume and starts to leave.
Manager: HEY! Where do you think you're going?!
Kim: I think it's time I said 'Take this job and shove it!'
Kim proudly walks from behind the counter past The Spice Girls; who are cheering for her.
Spice Girls: Way to go Kim! Wooo! That's Girl Power! Yay!
Manager: HEY! You guys didn't pay for your burger!
Baby Spice: Uh….I didn't think we had too.
Manager: That's it. Get back here and get to work!
The Spice Girls groan as they walk behind the counter and put on Giant Burger Uniforms. Kim goes back up the escalator to the main floor; she walks past Martha Logan who just got through shopping at the CTU Disney Store. Kim makes her way back to The Action Floor. (Or Main floor, whatever).
Kim: Hi Everybody!
Sherry/Nadia/Milo: Hi Dr. Nick!
Kim: What?
Nadia: We're getting a call from Tony.
Sherry: Uh….okay.
Nadia (picking up the phone): CTU Yassir…
Tony: Tony, its Nadia Yassir. We have information for you.
Nadia (lowering the phone): Why does everybody keep doing that?
Sherry and Milo shrug.
Tony: We broke out Bill and those other two….
Morris: Thanks.
Baxter: Jerk.
Tony: ….out of the prison and are on our way back to CTU.
Nadia: Good, because we just got a call from Jack. We need Chloe here to try to find Rolando Callahan. Harry Love is dead…..oh hold on, I have another call.
-CLICK-
Doyle: Because Jack killed him!
Jack: Did not! Stupid head!
The start slapping each other again in the background.
Nadia: Ugh…
-CLICK-
Nadia: Tony, you still there?
Tony: Present!
Nadia: Try to get back here as fast as you can. We have to find Callahan before it's too late. Okay?
Tony: Okay.
Nadia: Okay….
Tony: Okay….
Nadia: I'll see you when you get here.
Tony: Yup!
Nadia: So, bye!
Tony: You hang up first.
Nadia: What?
Tony: You hang up first.
Nadia: Uh…..why?
Tony: Because it's a game to see who can hang up first. Michelle and I play it all the time. The she's like 'No you hang up first' and we go back and forth until one of us gets tired and just hangs up.
Nadia: Uh….okay.
Tony: Okay, Nadia. You hang up first.
Nadia: …….-Click-
Tony: Hmph! How rude……
6:10:10. Back in the car that's driving aimless around a Wendy's Parking Lot. Jack and Doyle are….
Jack: Still arguing….
Logan: What did you just say?
Jack: Nothing.
Doyle: I still can't believe you shot Love. That is so not Jack Bauer.
Logan: Actually, it kinda is.
Jack: I didn't shoot Harry Love. Besides, I never shot anybody for a stupid reason.
Doyle: You shot a tranquilizer in George Mason's leg back in the first episode of Season 1.
Jack: He was withholding information. Nuff said….
Logan: Ryan Chappelle?
Jack: He was just a jerk. But besides that, he was goofing around and Stephen Saunders caught him and threatened to release the Cordilla Virus if we didn't shoot him.
Doyle: Curtis Manning?
Jack: He was going to shoot Hamri Al-Assad and ruin our plans! Geez, is this twenty questions?! Back off!
Logan: Hmm…..
Doyle: Yes…..
Logan: Hmmm……
Doyle: You still shot Love though.
Jack: I did not, dammit!
Doyle: -Sigh-…..
The Helicopter lands at the Heliport at CTU. Tony, Michelle, Karen, and the others bail out and walk inside.
Nadia: Sherry….oh crap, where did she go?
Nadia looks up. Sherry motions her to come up to the 2nd story glass office.
Nadia: I don't want to climb those stairs.
Nadia picks up the phone and dials Sherry's extension.
Sherry (picking up): Palmer…
Nadia: Sherry, we just got word the helicopter has landed.
Sherry: That was fast.
Sherry hangs up and walks out of her office downstairs.
Sherry: Okay, where is the heliport?
Nadia: This way.
They start to walk off before Tony and the rest of the group reach the Action Floor first.
Nadia: Oh, nevermind.
Michelle: Hey guys. What's going on?
Nadia: Chloe, we need you to find Callahan for Jack.
Chloe: Okay.
Chloe goes to her computer, which is just a cardboard box.
Chloe: Ugh, cheap!
Chloe walks over and rips out Morris' computer.
Morris: WHOA! Dahling, what are you doing.
Chloe: I need a computer.
Morris: You could've just sat down at my desk, Yeesh.
Chloe: Bring the monitor over here.
Sherry: I'm afraid we have bigger problems on our hands.
Bill: And that is?
Sherry: We received word from Tom Lennox that if Rolando starts the device that will release the chemical toxin into the city's water, there's only one way to stop it.
Michelle: And that is?
Sherry: There is a secret code to stop the device….
Tony: And that is?
Sherry: STOP SAYING 'AND THAT IS!'…Let me finish….
Everyone: …
Sherry: Good. There is a code to stop the device and it's on a chip that is kinda….inside……me.
Billy: Really?
Milo: Hmm, interesting.
Nadia: Milo, quit sounding like you're surprised. You were among the first ones to know about it.
Milo: Oh, right….
Sherry: It's microscopic so there'll be no way to surgically remove it. And even if there is we don't have the time. The machine could be activated now for all we know.
Tony: Don't worry…..I have a way…..
Michelle: Oh great.
Tony runs out of the Action Room.
Sherry: What's he planning?
Michelle: Something horrible I'm sure.
Suddenly, a giant school bus drives through the wall. –CRASH!-
Sherry: AHH!
Nadia: What the?!
Milo hops out of the bus.
Michelle: TONY! What the hell are you doing?! They just fixed this place!
Tony: This, my dear. Will be the way to find that chip.
Bill: A school bus?
Tony: No Bill…..The Magic School Bus!
Michelle faints.
Tony: I talked to the producers and they're letting us break the rules again since at this point the show has lost all hope! So, all aboard!
Baxter: Don't remind us, The Dream Episode was bad enough!
Karen: Don't forget about The Witch Plot.
Sherry: And Ronald McDonald being president.
Tony: This is the only way, who's coming with me?
Baxter: I'll go.
Karen: Oooh! I want to go too!
Bill: Good! And the rest of us will stay here. I brought donuts and coffee.
Michelle: Where the hell did you get that?!
Karen grabs a donut.
Karen: Okay, let's roll. –CHOMP!-
Kim (was staring off into space): -Yawn-….man, I'm tired. I think I'm going to go home.
A little disoriented, Kim get up from a desk and walks across the floor of the Action Room.
Kim: Oh, a bus. Driver, 62nd and Main, please.
The door closes as Tony gets behind the Wheel.
Mrs. Frizzle: Um….do you mind?
Tony: Sorry.
Mrs. Frizzle the schoolteacher sits down and takes control.
Tony: Don't you have an actual bus driver for this?
Mrs. Frizzle: Nah, I decided to take over. Okay children! Are you ready for another wild adventure?
The children cheer.
Kim: Where the hell am I now?
Baxter hops up in the seat next to her.
Baxter: Whatever it is, I can assure you that it isn't good.
Mrs. Frizzle: Okay, here we go!
The School Bus shrinks to microscopic size. It takes off….going very slowly.
Nadia: Oh, this is going to take ages!
Everyone on the bus sees giant fingers cover the windows as everything starts to shake. –RATTLE!-
Tony: Whoa!...Getting dizzy….
Mrs. Frizzle: We have enemies approaching. Fire Photon Torpedo.
A tiny torpedo shoots out and hits Nadia in the forehead.
Nadia: ERK! What the hell was that? It burnt a little…..Hmm, anyway, Sherry, open your mouth.
Sherry opens wide as Nadia flicks her finger. The bus goes inside and down…….down…….down…….Inside, everything is shaking as Red Lights flash.
-Red Alert! Collision Detected!-
Baxter: This is bad!
Tony: I knew it! The moment I woke up this morning I told myself, I'm going to die inside Sherry Palmer.
Baxter rolls his eyes.
Back outside inside CTU.
Chloe: I got him!
She picks up the phone and dials Jack's number.
Jack (answering): Bauer….
Chloe: Jack, I found Callahan.
Jack: Get out!
Chloe: What?
Jack: Get out!
Chloe: Get out….of what?
Jack: No, it's like slang. It's like For Real, Girlfriend…..or….No way!...or…..For Schizzle my Nizzle!
Chloe: Jack, could you stop talking before I lose my concentration from your stupid-ness?
Jack: By all means…..Girlfriend!
Chloe: JACK!
Jack: Sorry.
Chloe: I managed to tag Callahan's license plate and he just stopped off at the Tony Danza International Airport. He hasn't taken off yet, Jack. You can still catch him.
Jack: That'll do pig…….That'll do……
Chloe: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A PIG!?
Jack: No, hugs and kisses, bye! –CLICK!-
Chloe: GRR!
In the car…
Doyle: What did you find out?
Jack: Callahan is trying to fly out of here. He's headed for Tony Danza.
Doyle: Aw, what did he ever do to him? Tony Danza doesn't deserve this. He's one of this generation's greatest living actors!
Jack: Yeah, and so is Ricky Schroeder……-Giggle-
Doyle glares at Jack.
Jack: But no, it's the Tony Danza international Airport.
Logan: They named an airport after him?!
6:25:12, back at the White House.
Tom goes back into the bathroom with a brand new plunger.
Tom: Okay, I had to run to the plunger store to buy a new one of these. I didn't dare go into the ladies restroom. I remember what happened last time….
-FLASHBACK-
Tom: Doo, dee, doo, what a nice day it is. Oop, gotta use the restroom.
Tom accidentally goes into the 'Ladies' restroom. He notices Karen sitting on the bathroom counter eating 'Pumpkin Pie'.
Karen: HEY! What are you doing in here?!
Tom: Okay, that is really, really gross. We have a break room you know.
Karen: Get out, you fiend!
Karen throws her pie to the side and approaches Tom, who pulls out a giant sword. He points it in the air.
Tom: I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!
-Stop-
Guy: I seriously doubt that happened…
Tom: Well, it was a lot better than what really happened.
-FLASHBACK-
Tom: Doo, dee, doo, what a nice day it is. Oop, gotta use the restroom.
Tom accidentally goes into the 'Ladies' restroom. He notices Karen sitting on the bathroom counter eating 'Pumpkin Pie'.
Karen: HEY! What are you doing in here?!
Tom: Okay, that is really, really gross. We have a break room you know.
Karen: Well, excuse me for keeping up appearances. Get him, Boingo!
A giant Kangaroo hops out of the bathroom stall and with a boxing glove on, punches Tom in the face. –WHAP!-
-FIN!-
Guy: Hmm….both of those were pretty stupid.
Tom: That's life here around the White House. But enough of that…..it's plunger-ing time!
Guy: Okay! Okay!...I work for Charles Logan's brother. I was the one that altered the conversation between Karen and David to make her look like an idiot so nobody would catch on to what Rolando is up to.
Tom: Wow. You sure did give up that information easily, and I didn't even have to torture you that much.
Guy: I…..I just have a horrible fear of plungers! Get it away from me!
Tom: Is there any other information I should know?
Guy: No.
Tom raises the plunger.
Guy: The also sent someone here to assassinate the President!
Tom: AGAIN!? Geez, can't you people go 5 seconds without trying to kill a White House official!? Who is it?
Guy: I can't! I'll…..
Tom raises the plunger again.
Guy: AHH! Uh…I don't know his name; he's just The Man With The Big Yellow Hat.
Tom: Thank you, mister!
Tom starts to leave, then turns around and shoves the plunger in his face.
Guy: EEEE! Get it off! Get it off!
Tom bolts out of the restroom and down the hall.
A car pulls into the airfield. Marilyn, who was driving it, gets out and opens the trunk. She pulls the sack with Audrey in it onto the ground as some guards approach them and carry her Audrey to the airplane. Marilyn looks around and walks to the plane herself. She notices Rolando Callahan is standing outside.
Rolando: You did good.
Marilyn: I think you mean, 'I did well'.
Rolando: Don't correct my grammer.
Marilyn: I think its 'Grammar'.
Rolando: Or my spelling….wait, that doesn't make sense…..anyway….Here's the plan: We take off as the Toxin is about to be released and after the whole country is dead we will come back and start a new civilization.
Marilyn: That's a real shoddy plan.
Rolando: Enough! Just get on the plane.
Marilyn walks up the steps leading to the door of the plane as Rolando follows.
Back at CTU.
Chloe: Hold on, I'm getting something else! Besides Porno pop ups…..
Milo: That's all you ever get….
Chloe: Shut up. I managed to narrow down the search for some buildings that the Toxin device could be held…….hold on……yes, I got it. The device is being held at a Warehouse on 77th and Main. I think it's been activated.
Sherry: Hmm…..what should we do now?
Bill: I know. Milo, take Chloe with you to the warehouse.
Chloe: WHAT!?
Bill: So you can disarm the device once we get the code.
Chloe: I don't know if I can do that.
Bill: You'll do fine. Remember, there's no pressure. Just that if you fail, millions of people will die and the surviving ones will hate you for the rest of forever.
Chloe: Wonderful, I feel much better now.
Milo: Okay, we'll go.
6:30:11. Milo and Chloe head out of CTU / Jack is driving / Tony and Co. are traveling through Sherry's stomach / Noah is hopping on one foot while holding two ice cream cones as part of his Presidential Initiation Trails.
Jack's car peels into the airfield. The three of them get out.
Jack: Okay, there's the plane. I'm sure he's on it.
Doyle: There are some guards over there.
Jack: I got it.
Jack sneaks to the Mission Impossible Theme behind a building. He slowly walks up to behind an armed guard and….
Jack: LOOK A MOUSE!
Guard: EEEEEEE!
He passes out.
Jack: Excellent.
Jack grabs his gun and motions Doyle to follow. Suddenly, he notices the door to the plane closing and start to motion its way down the runway.
Jack: CRAP! It's already taking off! Back to the car, hurry!
Jack, Doyle, and Logan rush back to the vehicle.
Jack: Logan, drive.
Logan: uh…o…okay….
Logan hops in the front seat, Doyle gets in the passenger side. Jack jumps on top of the hood and stands there.
Doyle: Are you nuts!?
Jack: Just go!
Logan slams on the accelerator as Jack falls on his butt. –WHAP!-
Jack: owie…..
The car takes off driving as fast as it can down the runway. Catching up with the plane. Jack taps on the sunroof.
Doyle (sliding the sunroof open): What are you going to do?!
Jack: We go up here!
Doyle: Though the landing gear opening?! Are you mad, we'll be crushed!
Jack: Trust me!
Doyle: No!
Jack: Dammit, Doyle! We need to hurry before it takes off.
Doyle: Crap, fine.
Doyle climbs up through the sun roof. Him and Jack one by one grab onto the landing gear and climb up inside. The plane lifts off the ground and the wheels rise up inside.
Logan: Hmm, hope that didn't crush them. Oh well. I wonder where I should go now. AHHH!
Logan slams on the breaks to see guard start opening fire in front of him.
Logan: Probably the other way.
He puts the car in reverse and starts driving backward. He breaks and turns the wheel, making the car spin in a 180 turn, facing the opposite direction.
Logan: Whew, thanks stunt driver.
Bob The Stunt Driver: Don't mention it.
The car takes off again and pulls out of the airport.
At the White House, Tom is back at the Inauguration Party. He is going through the crowd trying to find the man with the Big Yellow Hat.
Tom: Crap a duck….where is he? He should stick out like a sore thumb but I don't see him anywhere!
Tom looks up and sees the man on the 2nd story balcony.
Tom: Gotcha.
Tom rushes through the crowd and enters a stairwell taking him up to the second floor.
Back in Sherry. The bus is lodged in Sherry's stomach lining.
Karen: This place is kinda gross. It makes me not want to eat, that's for sure. (Takes a bite out of a Turkey Leg) –CHOMP!-
Kim: So….we are inside Sherry Palmer?
Baxter: Correct.
Kim: Hmm…..like….inside her body?
Baxter: Yes, Kim.
Kim: How is that?
Baxter: Bad writing.
Kim: Ah, I see.
Tony: Look! There's the chip, it's lodged right over there! But how do we get it without getting killed?
Mrs. Frizzle: You can use this.
The opens a hatch and presses a button. A crane extends from the hood of the school bus.
Mrs. Frizzle: Now, you can try to pick it up with that crane.
Tony: Okay, let's see.
Tony maneuvers the crane over to the left.
Kim: Go forward.
Baxter: A little more to the left!
Tony: Okay….
Karen: Back a little, if you drop it now you'll miss it!
Tony hits the button and the crane descends, missing the chip.
Everyone: Aww!
Kim: Okay, let me try.
Kim puts in a quarter and starts moving the crane around.
Tony: We have to pay to use this thing!?
Mrs. Frizzle: Well yeah, I have to get money somehow. The gas mileage on this thing is atrocious!
Tony: Ah, nuts…..
Chloe and Milo arrive at the Warehouse.
Milo (knocking on the door): Hello? Anyone home?
Chloe: Are you freaking kidding me? Why are you knocking?
Milo: It's polite?
Chloe: I don't think anybody is in here, and furthermore….
The door opens a guard stands there.
Guard: Hello!
Milo: Hi!
Guard: Would you like to come in, I just made my famous Green Bean Casserole.
Milo: Is it as good as Karen's?
Guard: 10 times better!
Milo: Whoa!
Chloe: Uh…..Why are you being so nice to us?
Guard: Well, this casserole is poisoned actually.
Chloe: Are you the only one here?
Guard: Yes.
Chloe grabs the casserole dish from the guard's hands and bashes it over his head. –CRASH!-
Milo: Aw, I wanted Green Bean Casserole.
Chloe: Oh, shut up…..
They walk inside. Chloe takes a left to see the giant blue machine making a funny noise.
Chloe: This is it. This machine must somehow be hooked up to the city's water line!
Milo: What do we do?
Chloe: We don't have much time left. I'll see if I can set it up so I can put in the code, that's where Tony comes in, if he hasn't died already.
Milo: Uh….
6:40:12, White House.
Tom tackles the Man With The Big Yellow Hat. –WHOMP!-
Tom: HYA!
MWTBYH: ACK! What are you doing!?
He punches Tom in the face. –POW!-
Tom: Ow….
Tom and The MWTBYH roll around a few times. The man tries to strangle Tom.
Tom: Urk…..ughhh…..
Tom desperately tries to reach for a nearby lamp. He manages to grab it and whaps the man over the head. –BASH!-
Man: Uhhhh…..
He slumps over to the side. Tom gets up to brush himself off.
Tom (on a com-thing): Secret Service, this is Tom….
He is interrupted by the man tackling Tom. They both lose their balance and stumble down the stairs.
Tom: Oh, that smarts….
The man pulls out a knife and is about to stab Tom.
Tom: EEK!
He starts bring the knife down when he suddenly gets shot. –BANG!-
Man: Ugghgh….. (He falls backward)
Tom hops back up as Noah comes up, putting the gun away.
Tom: Mr. President! You saved my life…..again…..
Noah: Again?
Tom: You remember yesterday when Karen and I almost get killed by Birdie, The Early Bird. One of Ronald McDonald's advisors.
Noah: Oh yeah……
Tom: Why are you carrying a gun?
Noah: Are you serious? I don't think the Secret Service showed up once this season.
Tom: Yeah, you need to hire some new ones.
Noah: Yes I do Tom……Yes I do…….Now come on, all we have to endure is a Piñata Tournament and then this whole thing will be over.
Tom: That sounds wonderful, Mr. President.
They start to walk back to the party.
Tom: By the way, I caught a mole.
Noah: Really?
Tom: Yup. He's still in the bathroom.
Noah: Uh….ooookay……
On the Good Plane….Lollipop. Audrey is tied up. Marilyn and Rolando are
Rolando: What a stupid name for a plane…..How are we doing, Pilot?
Pilot: Good, sir.
Rolando: Excellent. Nothing can stop me now…..oh crap, why did I just say that….oh well, I'm sure nothing's going to happen….
Jack and Doyle fall out of the bathroom. –CRASH!-
Rolando: What the?!
Jack and Doyle pull out their guns.
Doyle: I don't even want to know how we went up through the landing gear and ended up in the bathroom.
Jack: I just know these things, Doyle!
Doyle: Uh….you have some toilet paper hanging off your shoe.
Jack: I'm ignoring it.
Doyle: Why? It's kinda annoying me.
Jack: -Sigh-….Can you hold on for a second?
Rolando: Sure. Guards, stand down.
Jack (leaning up against the wall): Okay, get it off.
Doyle: UGH! I'm not touching that!
Jack: Oh, grow up! I didn't use it.
Doyle: How do I know that?! Get it off yourself.
Jack: I can't reach down that far.
Doyle: Oh please, just do it!
Jack: You do it!
Doyle: I'm not touching the toilet paper on your shoe.
Jack: Please!
Doyle: No!
Rolando: Oh for the love of Farrah Faucet! Guard 1, go get the toilet paper off his shoe.
The guard walks up to Jack and rips off the toilet paper. Jack hit him on the head with the butt of his gun. –WHAP!-
Doyle: Wow, that plan worked.
Jack: See?
Rolando: Get him!
Initiate Batman Music.
The other guard runs up, Jack punches him in the face.
BAM!
On the floor, the Guard kicks Jack.
FOOF!
Rolando: I need more guards!
Two more guards come out of the back room. Doyle uppercuts one of them.
BIF!
Jack jumps up and grabs onto a railing, he uses both his feet to kick the other Guard.
KWANG!
Doyle: Kwang?!
Jack drops back down. He approaches Rolando.
Jack: The jig is up, Callahan.
Rolando: I wouldn't think so….
Jack slowly turns around to see Marilyn holding a gun up to Audrey's head.
Audrey: Eeep!
Jack: Marilyn?! What are you doing?
Rolando: She is under my control. Thanks to this stuff.
He pulls out a syringe of green liquid.
Jack: That was the stuff Adam Logan injected Marilyn with!
Doyle: Fine time to remember this now!
Jack: Now, Marilyn was whining that her arm hurt, and she was injected with it.
Rolando: Well, technically twice. Love shot her up with some to make her come along with him so he could deliver her to me. But it wore off, so Adam Logan, the creator of the serum, took the liberty of injecting her with it again.
Jack: Well Crap-A-Doodle-Doo!
Rolando: So, drop your weapons….or Audrey gets it.
Jack: Get's what?
Rolando: A delicious steak dinner. WHAT DO YOU THINK!?
Doyle: Uh, Jack…..gun to her head?
Jack: Oh right……..
Audrey thinks for a second and moves her hand into her pocket. She pulls out her 'Happy Burger' name tag and uses her thumb to fastening needle to point outward. She jabs Marilyn in the side with it. –SHOINK!-
Marilyn: AHH!
Audrey runs for it and ducks as Marilyn fires the gun, which hits the Pilot.
Pilot: Oh bugger! (He falls over)
The plane starts to descend. Jack grabs Rolando and they start to fight.
Jack: Doyle, get the controls.
Doyle makes his way to the cockpit and grabs the flight stick to try to level the plane. Marilyn hops up from behind and tries to strangle him.
Doyle: Arkkk!
They struggle as the plane is going down. Doyle accidentally hits the 'Cargo Release' button and the back of the plane opens. Crap is flying everywhere. –SWOOOOOOOOOSH!-
Audrey: AHH!
Rolando kicks Jack away and gets up to make his way toward the opening. He reaches for a parachute as Jack tramples him just in time. They roll around off the edge of the opened cargo door.
Audrey: JACK!
Audrey runs to the back of the plane to see Jack hanging on by one hand, and Rolando clinging on desperately to Jack's foot.
Audrey: Oh this is really cliché.
Jack: Audrey, pull me up!
Audrey: I can't Jack, you're too heavy!
Jack: WHAT?! No I'm not! I've been using Jenny Craig, I swear!
Audrey: What about him!?
Jack: Huh!? Oh….crap, uh….
Audrey: Take your shoe off!
Jack: He's holding onto my leg!
Audrey: Saw your leg off!
Jack: Uh….I don't think that will work.
Audrey: Hold on, don't let go!
Audrey tries to look around for something for Jack to grab onto. Back inside the cockpit.
Doyle: Ugh….Get off!
He pushes Marilyn back; she hits the back of her head on the co-pilot's window. –WHAMP!-
Doyle: Oooh, ouch.
Marilyn: Ugh…..what happened? Oh, my head….
Doyle: Wow, for an experimental drug that takes over your body, just a good bonk to the head can cure it. How convenient.
Audrey (bursting into the cockpit): Doyle, Jack is hanging outside on the edge of the cargo door.
Doyle: Oh geez.
Doyle gets up and runs off. Audrey tries to take control of the plane.
Audrey: Marilyn, are you okay?
Marilyn: Yeah, my head hurts though.
Audrey: Hmm….you must have been brainwashed or something.
Marilyn: Yeah……
She pulls out a knife.
Marilyn: I'll kill you!
Audrey: AHH!
Marilyn: Ha, I'm just kidding….
Audrey: Hmph!...
Doyle runs to the open cargo door.
Doyle: Jack! Grab my hand!
Jack: I can't!
Doyle: Oh quit being a sissy. We're adults here!
Jack: No, moron. I can't reach you! You'll have to grab onto my hand!
Doyle: Ew! No, you might have cooties!
Jack: DAMMIT!
Doyle: I'm kidding; I'm kidding…..Here….
Doyle grabs Jack's hand and starts to pull him up.
Doyle: Uh…..Jack, you might have to lose a little weight.
Jack: I called Jenny Craig, I swear!
Doyle: Uh….not that kinda weigh.
Jack looks down at Rolando.
Jack: Oh, right.
Rolando: Jack! You don't want to do this…..I can help you! Together we can make this country a better place to live.
Jack: No thanks, I have all the help I need!
Doyle: Cheeeeesy……
Jack shakes his foot and Rolando falls through the sky screaming. He plummets through the air thousands of feet, smashing through the ground next to the hole left by Wile E. Coyote. Road Runner stops by.
Road Runner: Man...Dumbass….….er……BEEP! BEEP!
He zooms off! Doyle pulls Jack back onto the plane.
Jack: Whew…..at least that's over…..Let's get this plane turned around.
Inside Sherry.
Karen: I got it!
The crane picks up the chip and inserts itself back inside the bus. Tony reaches in a compartment and pulls it out.
Tony gets on his phone and dials CTU.
Michelle: CTU Dessler…
Tony: Tony, its Michelle!
Michelle slaps her forehead.
Tony: Get me through to Chloe, we have the number.
Michelle: Okay, I'm patching you through.
Chloe answers her phone.
Chloe: O'Brian….
Michelle: Chloe I have Tony on the line with the number, are you ready?
Chloe: Yeah.
Michelle: Go ahead Tony.
Tony: Okay, the numbers are 5…..2…..1…..33…..44….76…..
Michelle: Tony, those are your lottery numbers!
Tony: Oh right…..okay, here are the numbers: 4……
Chloe presses in the sequence.
Tony: 7……..1…….3……0………6………uh….
Chloe: ….'Uh'?...Uh…what?!
Tony: I don't know the last number it must have gotten damaged.
Chloe leans back to see the timer at 30 seconds.
Chloe: GAHK! Tony, we only have less than 30 seconds, I need that number.
Tony: I can't read!
Karen: Hooked on Phonics is a good program. It worked for me.
Kim: Me too!
Children: Us too!
Tony: SHUT UP! I can't concentrate!...It's either a 5 or an 8!
Michelle: Hurry Tony!
Tony: I don't know….I don't know……uh…..uh……5!
Michelle: Is that a guess?
Tony: Yes.
Michelle: Don't guess!
Tony: I have to! I don't know what the freaking number is!
Chloe: 10 seconds!
Tony: 5! I'm going with 5!
Michelle: Chloe….try 5…..
Chloe: Here goes…..
Chloe puts in the number 5 as the last number. The machine shuts off.
Chloe: Whew……
-BEEP! Incorrect Password!-
Chloe: AHHHH!
The machine lets the Toxin loose into the city's water supply. It starts to shake violently and explodes, sending Chloe and Milo flying backward into a wall. –WHAP!-
Around the country, people start to drop like flies. –PLOP! PLOP! PLOP!-
Fred bursts into the writer's room and slams the episode draft in front of Paul.
Fred: You cannot kill everyone in the country in the Season Finale. Fix it.
Paul: Fine.
Paul erases that part and pencils in a new ending.
Paul: There.
Fred: Thank you.
Fred walks back out of the writer's room.
Paul: I need my own show….
Chloe: What is the number!?
Michelle: Hurry Tony, we only have 10 seconds.
Tony: 5! I'm going with 5!
Baxter: It's an 8!
Tony: Oh, it is an 8! Okay, Michelle we are going with 8!
Michelle: Chloe, you got that!
Chloe: Yeah.
Chloe puts in the number 8……..the machine powers down. –Woooooooo!-
Chloe sighs deeply.
Chloe: It's over……finally!
Some people are heard in the other room.
Chloe: Who's that?
Some men in biohazard suits walk in.
Milo: It's the Hazmat team!
Chloe: Good. They'll take care of this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Milo: I couldn't agree more, Chloe……I couldn't agree more…..
Chloe: You….didn't have to say that twice, I heard you the first time.
The screen splits down at 6:55:12. Chloe and Milo make their way out of the warehouse to the car / The Good Plane Lollipop lands on the runway as police show up / The Magic School Bus is returned to normal size and drives off through the hole in the wall as Tony, Karen, Kim, and Baxter relax / Tom and Noah are sitting on their thrones as people applaud Noah for finishing his Inauguration Ceremony / Morris is doing something on his computer / Jack, Doyle, Marilyn, and Audrey slide down off the plane and make their way to a taxi / Police are taping off the crime scenes of Harry Love and Rolando Callahan.
Morris: YES!!! I finally beat that dragon!
Michelle: What are you talking about?
Morris: In Super Awesome Quest! Take that, you jerk!
The dragon goes down and disappears. A new one shows up and eats Morris. –CHOMP!-
Morris: Oh, hell's bells!
Sherry: Well, I think I've outstayed my welcome here.
Michelle: What do you mean?
Sherry: This isn't where I belong. I am meant to do better, more scandalous things. So I'm going to try to get a job back at the White House.
Michelle: Good for you.
Sherry: And from this point I am reinstating the position of CTU Director to Bill Buchanan.
Bill: Really?!
Sherry: Yes.
Bill: Sweet!
Karen: Good job, Husband!
Bill: Thanks wife!
Karen: Well, I better be going to D.C. as well. I'm needed there for Homeland Security stuff.
Bill: Okay, don't have too much fun.
Karen: I won't. Oh, and one of these for the road.
Karen grabs a donut.
Kim: I'm leaving too, I'm tired and hungry.
Baxter: Well, there I was making food at my house before you freaked out and ran away.
Kim: Hmm…..well, that food sounds good right about now.
Baxter: Then, let's head off.
Kim: Bye everybody!
Everyone waves goodbye to Kim as she walks off. Baxter takes a quick glance at his 'The Joy Of Cooking Kim Bauer' cookbook.
Baxter (reading over a recipe): Duh, you use Paprika, of course!
At the White House.
People: Here's to Noah Daniels! The new official President of The United States.
Everybody claps.
Noah: Thank you. Thank you…..I'd just like to say…
Man: Okay people, party's over. Let's get back to work.
Noah: HEY! I wasn't done yet!
Tom: I say we call it a 'night', and finally get some sleep. It's been a really long day.
Noah: You're right.
They start to walk off. Someone grabs the president's hand.
Woman: Mr. President, you're needed for an Emergency Morning Press Conference.
Noah (sobbing): But I want to sleep, dammit!
Tom: Gotta run; see you later today, sir.
Noah: -Groan-….
Michelle calls Chloe.
Chloe (answering): Yeah?
Michelle: Chloe, I wanted to tell you that you did a great job with the Toxin Device.
Tony: Hey! What about me?
Michelle: -Sigh-….okay Tony, I guess you did good too.
Tony: I feel the love.
The phone rings, Bill picks it up.
Bill: Yeeeees?
Jack, Doyle, Audrey and Marilyn walk into CTU.
Bill: Jack!
Jack: Bill!
Doyle: Michelle!
Audrey: Morris!
Morris: Stupid dragon!
Nadia: Jack!
Doyle: Nadia!
Bill: Morris!
Tony: Michelle!
Michelle: What?
Tony: Well, so much for that…..
Bill: Are you guys okay?
Jack: Yeah. Harry Love and Rolando Callahan are dead.
Michelle: And the Toxin has been stopped!
Doyle: I'm glad these things can resolve themselves right at the nick of time.
Jack: Yup.
Michelle: Hey, Audrey and Marilyn were with you.
Doyle: Yeah, Marilyn was brainwashed.
Nadia: By the mind control serum that Adam Logan had.
Jack: Wait…..What happened to Adam Logan.
Bill: Ah, who knows? He's probably dead or something.
Everybody laughs.
Jack: Man, what a long day. I am ready for sleep.
Tony: Sounds good, I'm glad everything is over and there are no more crises for us to deal with.
Jack: You know what? Let's all go get some breakfast. There's a McDonald's right down the street.
Michelle: Uh…..Oh hell, why not.
Everyone starts to leave the building into the parking lot as the sun is rising over Los Angeles. Jack is stopped by George Mason.
George: BAH?!
Jack: GAH!?
Michelle (to Nadia): So much for loose ends….
George: I killed you….
Jack: Uh….no you didn't.
George: Yes I did. I killed Jack Bauer.
Sherry: Well, the good thing is whoever you killed it did the job. Because now you can go away, yay!
George: I mean, I know it was you. At least it looked like you….
Tony: George…..well…..'Death'…..(He puts his arm around his shoulder while the group continues to walk)…unless there are Jack Bauer Clones running about….I don't think we have anything to worry about….(Laughs)…In fact I think that Everything is going to be ooookay! (He gives a thumbs up)
Michelle: Tony, what did I tell you about saying things that could jinx the plot?
Nadia: Who is he giving a 'Thumbs Up' to?
Meanwhile, in some Laboratory; Adam Logan exits an office and goes into an experimentation room. Mandy is there sporting a white Lab coat.
Adam: How is the experiment going?
Mandy: Good I guess. I have no idea what I'm doing though.
Adam: Hmm….
He grabs a tape recorder.
Adam (recording his voice): Okay, we are about to do Experiment 3. As our studies show, Experiment 1 perished in a house explosion. And Experiment 2 somehow mysteriously died in a restroom at some House Party. We will be….
The phone rings…..Adam stops the tape and answers it.
Adam: What?...That can't be………I…….okay, we have no choice………goodbye.
Adam hangs up and walks over to a computer console.
Mandy: What are you doing?
Adam: We don't have time to produce another project. We must release this one.
Mandy: Uh…..why?
Adam: We are running out of time. Throw that switch over there.
Mandy flips a switch on the right console.
-BEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!-
A container filled with water lowers itself to the ground, inside of the water container is Jack Bauer connected to cables and breathing tubes.
Mandy: So….is this the actual Jack?
Adam: No, he's still running about. This one was created using DNA we've collected over the hundreds of times he's been captured. We make new ones out of this Specimen. But we have to go through with our master plan. So we can't make anymore right now, we must release this one. Empty the container.
Mandy presses a button, the container opens as Jack and a ton of water pours out onto the floor.
Mandy: Is this safe with all this electrical equipment?
Adam and Mandy walk over to Jack, who is scrambling around.
Adam: Jack?...Can you hear me?
Jack: Bah…..?
Adam: How do you feel?
Jack: Meh……
Adam: I'm glad……..I have good news for you Jack. Because here in a very short time….
Adam glances up at the News broadcast of the Presidential Inauguration Ceremony.
Adam: You Jack Bauer….will become President of The United States…….
Jack: …..huh?
Mandy gives Adam a confused look. Adam grins as he stands back up.
Adam: Come on, we have work to do……
Adam and Mandy exit the laboratory as Jack lies in a pool of water. They slam the doors behind them……..and fade to black!
6:59:55
6:59:56
6:59:57
6:59:58
6:59:59
7:00:00
Fred: It's…..over…….thank……god…….
Paul: Yay!
Sam: Woo hoo!
Fred: Now we can finally rest for six months before we have to start writing again for the next season.
Paul and Sam look at each other.
Fred: What's that look for?
Paul: Well….we talked to the producers and they kinda upped it up to…..next month.
Fred: WHAT?!
Paul: Isn't this great, that means we can start writing the 2nd season immediately!
Sam: Yay!
Fred: Noo……noo……NOOOO! (Sobs)
Paul: I have the prefect plot. Chloe gets pregnant and her baby is an alien!
Sam: Oooh! And George Mason can be the father!
Paul: Yes! And this will take place….in France!
Fred: NO! NO! NO!... (bangs his head).
Paul: Aren't you happy!? We are!
Fred: No, I am not! I want to cry. Look! I'm crying now! Wahhh!
Paul: We better get started right away!
Sam: Right.
They run out of the room. Fred gets up and follows.
Fred (chanting to himself): I love my job, I love my job...Gotta remember that…….
Author's Note: Okay, it's over! Yay. I want to thank all the people who read this silly story of mine. As a reminder, '24' and it's characters are property of Fox and stuff. I wanted to thank everyone's great reviews and compliments, I greatly appreciate it. Much thankful! And if there's anyone still interested in the story Season 2 will be up the first week of December, continuing every Monday (in case there is a delay like if my internet's out or something). I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you guys like the next season as well. I am experimenting and am going to write 'The Heroes Parody Project' I am a big fan of the show and am going to see how that turns out, I'm going to try to write it out in 'Paragraph Form' which is a first for me, so I have no idea how it will do, who knows? But anyway, thanks for reading!
NEXT SEASON ON 24…….
-SWOOSH!-
Bill: Jack, we have a situation.
Jack: Another one!?
Bill: At the Superbowl Half-Time Show…Britney Spears, Nsync, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, and Aerosmith are all going to perform.
Jack: NOOOOOO!!!!!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
Bill: Uh, I haven't got to the bad part yet.
Jack: Oh, continue.
Bill: The terrorists are going to set off a nuke during one of these band's performances. You must stop this. And help is on the way with your new partner.
Jack: New partner?
Chloe's screams are heard outside the hall as Milo and Morris are pushing her into the office.
Bill: Jack, I like you to meet Chloe O'Brian.
Jack: Uh…I kinda know who she is already.
Bill: Good, you two will do great then.
Chloe: Why haven't I quit yet!?
-SWOOSH-
Reporter: We are going live to the scandal in The White House; where President Daniels is accused of having an affair with his new intern.
Noah and Tom look up as The new Presidential intern, Jessica Rabbit, slowly makes her way into the room. –Boom, Da-Boom, Da-Boom!- (As she walks)
Tom: Holy Guacamole!
Noah: Where is that drum coming from?
-SWOOSH-
Everyone at CTU is held hostage again.
Oscar: I want vengeance! I want justice!
Nadia: Who are you again?
Oscar: My name is Oscar, I'm here to avenge my sister Nina Myers' death!
Tony: Whoa! Wait…..so your name is Oscar Myers?!
Oscar: Yes.
Tony doubles over with laughter.
Tony: That's hilarious!
Oscar: SILENCE!
-SWOOSH-
Tom, Sherry Palmer, and Karen Hayes are in the oval office.
Tom: What would you like for us to do now, Mr. President?
The chair turns around to reveal Jack Bauer playing with some rubber bands.
Jack: Fire the missile……..I want the target to be Los Angeles.
Karen: Is it me, or is Los Angeles the ONLY place that gets attacked. I mean, what is with that. Aren't there CTU's in other states? And what's the deal with airline peanuts! They're ridiculous I tell you.
Tom: We're screwed…..
THE SEASON PREMIERE OF '24' FOLLOWED BY THE PREMIERE OF 'HEROES' ON MONDAY DECEMBER 3RD. Beep…..beep……beep……beep…..beep……beep…….beep……