The Worst Case Scenario

By Kadi

Rated K+

Disclaimer: It isn't my sandbox. I just come here to play...

A/N: As always, special thanks to the awesome beta deenikn8.

Chapter 2

It was well past dark when Andy Flynn finally pulled into his driveway. Thursday was always the longest day of the week for him. No matter what else was going on, he took time out of the day to head over to his regular AA meeting at St. Francis. That sometimes meant juggling things, like whatever case they were currently working on. He made those meetings, though. Even if he went to another one during the week, he always made that one. There were times, like tonight, when that meant heading back to the office to wrap up a case report before finally heading home.

Andy hadn't really minded it. The office was empty when he got back, and he completed it faster than he would have if the others had been there. It was easier, too, to be there while Sharon wasn't.

He promised her that they would still be friends. He felt like an ass for lying, but being near her, hell, just looking at her was too damned painful. He wasn't sure that he would ever forget the stricken look in her eyes when he told her it was over. That was before she had covered it, smiled, and told him that she understood. Somehow he managed to do the one thing that he tried like hell to avoid. He hurt her.

He kept telling himself that it had to get easier. That soon he wouldn't be plagued by the memory of her taste on his lips, or the way that she felt in his arms. Soon he would be able to look at her again. He wouldn't see the hurt that was hiding behind her smile.

There was part of him that wanted to take it back. To try harder to understand what Rusty was going through. The kid was just on the verge of pushing him too damned far. Already he saw the strain of it was weighing on Sharon. She was going to have to choose between them and there was no way that she would ever choose him. There was no way that she ever should. That was just the way it was.

They had tried. It was good, for a while. It just hadn't worked out.

She was right when she told him that having a relationship would be about more than just the two of them. It would affect everything in their lives; it would touch their work and their families. Funny, they managed to conquer the work thing just fine. It was the family side of it that pulled them apart. He never imagined that would be the cause of them failing, but then again, he never thought Sharon would ever take a chance on a guy like him to begin with.

Maybe, he thought, Rusty saw something he didn't. Like the truth. He was never going to be good enough for her. He could love her, and god almighty but he didn't think that he could love her more, but that didn't mean that he was what she need in her life.

Andy tried not to think about it, but those thoughts plagued him as he sat in his car, staring at his dark and lonely house. He used to like living alone. Now it weighed on him. He started to let himself imagine what it would be like to come home with Sharon every night. To go to bed and wake up, and know that she would be there. To feel her beside him, the last thing that he saw each night, and the first thing each morning. That dream was gone now.

The pain of it was so deeply rooted inside of him that he always felt it. It was a gnawing, constant ache in his chest. It was worse when she was near him, when he could almost reach out and touch her. The rest of the time it was gaping, the hole that her absence left in his life, and he really had no one to blame but himself. He let her go. He walked away. She wasn't his to keep.

With a ragged sigh, Andy pulled himself out of the car. His arms hung tiredly beside his body, while his shoulders drooped beneath the weight of his current heartache. He walked toward the house, but movement in the shadows of the front porch had him stopping. His hand went immediately to the gun at his side. He thumbed the guard on his holster and rested his hand on the hilt as he took a step closer to the house.

There was someone on the porch. His heart skipped a beat when Sharon stepped out of the shadows and into the dim light that the street lamps created. The initial thrill at seeing her couldn't be suppressed, but he tried. Andy let his hand drop away from his gun and moved closer. He stepped up onto the porch and stared at her. "What are you doing here?"

She had been waiting for a while. Sharon had gone home first, and with Rusty out for the evening, she had changed into something a little more casual before driving over to see him. She tried to call first but he hadn't answered his phone. Then she had remembered it was Thursday. It had taken her three days since the talk with Patrice to drum up the courage to face him like this. Sharon wasn't going home without doing that. She decided to wait on his porch.

It was a chilly night. She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She was still cold, despite the thick, gray cardigan that she was wearing. Sharon offered a small smile as she stood there. "I thought that we should talk," she said gently. "We need to talk," she added.

What was there left to talk about? Andy scrubbed a hand over his face. He nodded as he gestured toward the house. "Come in." He wondered if this was really it. If she had decided that they couldn't work together. Andy wouldn't blame her for asking him to transfer. It might not be that bad of an idea, all things considered. That didn't stop the ache in his chest from intensifying. Doing the right thing didn't always mean doing the easy thing.

The resignation in his tone, and the way that he hesitated before speaking sent a shock of pain through her. Sharon drew a deep breath and managed a weak smile while she waited for him to unlock the door and let her inside. She moved into the house; the lights came on as they stepped in and she stood to one side while Andy dropped his keys and removed his jacket. Now that the moment was upon her, she didn't know how to begin. She just knew that she needed to do this, to at least try before she closed the door on this part of her life.

It was nervous energy that had her walking through his living room. The house was only modestly sized, and what she would expect of a bachelor with grown children. Sharon ended up standing before the back patio doors. They opened up onto a small deck. The yard itself was small. Andy hadn't needed much, and she knew the deck space was primarily used for the occasional gathering, barbecues and the like. She folded her arms across her chest as she stood there. In the reflection of the glass she could see him stop near the bar that separated the living room and kitchen. He watched her for a moment before he ran a hand through his hair and turned away.

Sharon watched him face the bar. His shoulders seemed to hunch. He stood for a moment before he removed his badge and gun. She ached to walk over, run her hands up his back and lean into him. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and closed her eyes.

Gazing. Sharon did that when she was particularly bothered by something, or lost in thought. Andy placed his cell phone on the bar beside his badge and gun and took a moment to roll up his shirtsleeves. How many times had he watched her do this, in her office or in front of the balcony doors at her condo? He watched her for a moment before he realized that she was staring back at him in the reflection of the doors. Andy sighed quietly before walking over to stand beside her.

The tension in his chest rose and spread across his shoulders. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked out over his backyard. "I can probably get a spot in Robbery Homicide if that's what you want," he offered. He would make it easy on her. What else could he do?

Sharon looked up at him. Her lips parted. She felt gutted as the air in her lungs was expelled in a single breath. "No," she whispered. Even if he wouldn't try again, she couldn't lose him completely. The very thought of it filled her with such pain she almost hunched over with it. "Andy." She could barely say his name past the ache in her throat. She shook her head, her lips parted again, but there were no words forthcoming.

Andy looked away from her. His jaw clenched. It was hard to decipher his feelings, to separate the grief from the sudden anger. "Then what, Sharon?" He shook his head. "What do you want me to do here? I'm doing the best that I can. You gotta give me something, because if you don't want me to transfer, I don't know what else there is that I can do for you now."

"You can stop being so noble." She took a step toward him. It was the anger that helped push past her pain. "Andy, I don't need you to arrange the world to my liking. I told you that once. I can look out for myself." Her voice softened when his eyes flashed. She hadn't come to fight with him. "I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that you want to. I do, truly. It means a lot to me, more than you can know," she added, thinking of her failed marriage. "It's one of the many things that I love about you."

He stared at her, unable to speak for a moment. Andy shifted where he stood. He drew his hands out of his pockets but they remained at his sides. His palms itched with the need to reach out and touch her. His back knotted with tension as he restrained himself. "Sharon." He looked down, averted his gaze to the floor. "I can't… We can't," he corrected. "It isn't gonna work."

"Yes." On this she would fight him, she realized. She wanted it. She wanted him. "Unless you can tell me that you walked away because you really don't feel anything for me, I am not willing to give up because our situation is a little more complicated than we expected it to be." She took a step closer. Sharon laid a hand on his arm and felt the muscles tense beneath her palm. She kept it there, allowed it to slide up to his shoulder. "I am not going to beg you to be with me, that isn't what I want. Nor am I going to try and maneuver you into something that isn't working for you. I want this," she said, voice hitching. "I don't want to look back and regret losing what I think that we could have because we were trying to avoid a bad outcome."

"Not wanting you isn't the problem." With her standing so close he could smell her perfume. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out. His hand moved beneath her hair to cup the back of her neck. Andy drew her closer and bent his head until their foreheads were resting together. "I want you," he rumbled quietly. "Don't ever think that's it. Dammit Sharon. You have no idea how hard it is to try and pretend that everything is going to be okay."

"I think I do," she whispered. Her hands lifted to his chest. Sharon leaned closer and tipped her head back. "I understand what you tried to do," she said. "I'm sorry that you felt that you had to. I don't know how to make that up to you. I will talk to Rusty," she told him. "My children are always going to come first, but they aren't going to dictate my life, or my relationships." Their faces were so close together that she could feel his breath on her lips. She tipped her face toward him, nuzzled his cheek. Her lips brushed his in a feather light caress. "I will never choose between you. There is no choice. Rusty is my son. One day he will be able to accept that his place in my life, and in my heart is permanent. I won't put my life on hold waiting for that day to come. Andy." Her fingers curled into his shirt. "I love you."

Both of his hands moved into her hair. Andy turned her, so that the sliding door was at her back. He pressed her against it and captured her mouth. He kissed her as he had wanted to for weeks, with all the desire and the passion that he had been holding back, at first because they had needed to go slowly, and later because he had ended their relationship. He was aware of her arms sliding around his middle, and her hands gripping his back.

As quickly as it began, it ended. Andy let go of her and stepped back. His eyes were dark. He was winded. He shook his head at her. His tongue swept across his lips, she had tasted of cinnamon and the tea that he knew she had upon arriving home that evening. Being with her wasn't about sex for him, but he knew that if he kept touching her, stopping would be a new kind of hell. She looked startled, dazed. There was a question in her eyes. Andy tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I love you," he told her. "I won't be able to walk away from you again. The first time was hard enough."

"Don't." She moved back into his space. "It's that simple. We can do this," she felt it more keenly now than she ever had before. "Stop being so damned noble, Andy Flynn."

There was a challenge in her eyes. He watched her gaze drop to his lips. Andy groaned. "It isn't nobility. Ever think that maybe I don't want to get hurt either? Do you think I'll ever be able to forget what you feel like if this ends later?"

The raw desire in his words made her stomach dance in anticipation. Heat moved through her. She pulled her teeth across her bottom lip and gazed up at him. "We can't promise we will never hurt each other." They both knew better than that. Their pasts had taught them that lesson. "I don't want to hurt you, Andy. I don't want to give you up either." Her eyes closed. Sharon shook her head. There was almost a plea in her tone. "Don't make me beg," she said.

His jaw clenched. He reached for her again, but this time his hands ghosted along her arms, fingers barely touching, until they reached her hips. He drew her forward. "If we do this, I can't promise he isn't going to piss me off," Andy warned her. "Sharon, that kid is going to push my buttons. He's going to try and test my patience."

"You would never hurt him. That's what he needs to realize." Sharon sighed. "Andy, he's reacting on instinct. He knows you. He knows that you would never hurt any of us. It's a matter of his head and his instincts getting on the same page. I can only imagine the other men that his mother brought into his life, but I know that the last one hurt him, physically. She chose the man that physically abused her son and walked away. Rusty knows that I would never do that, but this is the first time that I have been involved with anyone since he came to me. If it weren't you, it would be anyone that I was dating." She lifted her hands to cup his face. "I shouldn't have coddled him. He needs to see this. He needs to see us, being who we are, and realize that not every relationship is like that. Yes," she agreed, "you are going to lose your temper with him. You are going to lose your temper with me. We will argue. Rusty needs you to be frustrated with him. He needs you to tell him what he's doing wrong. He needs to see us work through our problems and know that relationships are not about sex, and drugs, and greed. He needs to know that we respect each other enough to challenge each other when we need to. He needs you to respect him enough to call him on the crap that he's been pulling. I'm not going to break up with you because my son made you angry."

"If he never comes around?" Andy tilted his head at her. "Have you thought about that? What if he never gets used to this. What about your other kids? Have you thought about them? What if they have problems with this too?" Andy looked away from her for a moment. "Sharon… We're assuming that Rusty's problem with all this is about his past. We don't know that. What if your kids are seeing what we can't? What if they know that I'm not what you need?"

His doubt stemmed from their similar pasts, she knew, and the guilt that he felt at having disappointed and lost his family. Sharon leaned into him. "Andy," she spoke his name quietly. "You are what I need," she assured him, "because you are what I want. We didn't step into this blindly. I know who you are. I know what you are. I know the risks, and more than that, I trust you." She exhaled a soft sigh. "If you don't want to do this, just say it now. No excuses, no hiding. I will leave and we will never discuss it again. Our children are not going to stand between us," she told him. "Not mine, and not yours. They will always be in our hearts first, but they are living their lives. We deserve the opportunity to live ours."

"So what are you saying?" He searched her eyes. She could be such an enigma to him. She was always so fierce when it came to her children, especially Rusty. Andy shook his head. "We keep this going and it's going to involve them. They're all going to be in it." At some point, if they were lucky, they would be blending their two families.

"Yes," she acknowledged. "Andy, I'm saying that I was wrong. I told you when we started this that I was a packaged deal. I expected you to accept, blindly, that I have a child living in my home. It was foolish. Of course you've accepted that. The truth is, we are the package. You and I. Someday, sooner than I want to believe, Rusty is going to leave home. He is going to step into the world and leave me behind, just as he is supposed to do. He's my son, but you're my partner. If the last few years have taught us anything it is that we are stronger together."

It was when they were at odds and out of sync that the world felt off. Yes, he had experienced that too. They had been drawn together, almost from the moment they were forced to work together, even before she took over the division. They had both fought it back then. He hadn't wanted to like her, and he sensed the same was true on her end. It was easier to raise hell with her, to point fingers and be angry. He even tried it after she took over the division. She let him. But the truth was, they could read each other. They were opposites, in so many ways, but it pushed them to think and act in ways that complimented each other. She was right. They were stronger together.

"So what happened," He began, the corner of his mouth quirking up toward a grin, "to us going back to being friends?"

Sharon shrugged. "It would hurt. I think we'd make it eventually. Somehow, along the way, you became my best friend. I'm not sure when, or exactly how, and I don't care. You're in my heart, Andy. We'd find a way, if we had to. I'm hoping that we won't."

He cupped her chin and tipped her face up. "I love you," he said again, so that she was clear on that fact. "I'm not gonna walk away again. I don't have that in me. It was hard enough the first time. If this is what you want, you've got it, but I can't do it halfway anymore. You have me, Sharon, but I need to be all in."

He was holding back. Either to protect her, or Rusty, or both. She had known that, and she had appreciated it. Looking back, she could see the mistake in allowing it. "I want all of you. I don't want you to hold back, Andy. I'm not fragile. You aren't going to break me." A small smile curved her lips. "I know that I can be… hard to read." She held her emotions in check. She had learned to protect herself. "I want you all in, because that is exactly how I want to move forward too." She looked down for a moment. Sharon licked her lips and when she lifted her gaze again, her eyes were darker. "No more chaperones," she whispered.

His other arm snaked around her waist to draw her closer. "So if I ask you to spend the night?" He ventured carefully, needing her answer before he made his decision. It wasn't about the physical attraction between them, but he needed to feel her close. More than that, he needed to see just how serious she was about this, about choosing him, rather than her son's expectations.

"There is an overnight bag in my backseat." Sex was not a tool, and it was not the basis of their relationship, but she had come to realize that if they were going to move forward together then they were going to have to take that step. Their relationship would have to be about them, their needs, and their desires, and not what the outside world expected of them or was prepared to accept.

He captured her mouth again, this time the kiss much softer. It lingered, a slow slide of lips and tongue, but no less passionate than their earlier kiss. As it ended, his lips moved across her cheek, to her temple, and finally he kissed the tip of her nose. "Go get it," he said, "I'll make dinner. We'll talk." It was going to be a long night. If he did nothing more than hold her tonight, at least she would be there. There was still much to iron out between them, but they were moving forward.

Neither of them was especially hungry, even if the emotional weight of the evening was mostly lifted from their shoulders. Dinner was light, salads consumed at his kitchen table while Sharon explained that it was Patrice who had pushed her to step beyond the fear and the heartache to reach out for what she wanted. The woman certainly had a way about her, they agreed. Andy knew that he would be forever grateful to her.

As morning came upon them, Andy woke with Sharon pressed against him. They had talked into the night, ignoring fatigue and leaving no questions unanswered. It was important to make sure that they both knew where they stood with each other, and where it was that they both wanted this relationship to go. When sleep could no longer be avoided, Andy took her hand and drew her with him to his room. Somehow, lying down with Sharon in his arms, with one of his t-shirts covering her body felt more intimate than making love would have been. It was not what he had imagined having her in his bed that first time would be like, but holding her as they had both drifted into the exhaustion that settled upon them wasn't a bad way to end the night.

They had moved during the night. Andy had rolled onto his side, as was his habit, to face the wall. He found Sharon nestled against him, snuggled into his back. Somehow that didn't surprise him as much as he thought that it would. She always seemed to get cold so easily, and he always slept hot. He kept the temperature in the house low. It was cool in the room that morning. A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. He wondered if anyone would ever believe that Sharon Raydor was a heat-seeking snuggler?

He grinned as he eased away from her. She sighed and moved closer. Her hand moved up his back and curled into his shirt. He moved slowly, not wanting to wake her, and managed to slide out of her reach. Andy sat up on the edge of the bed and watched as she shifted into the place that he left behind. Her face was buried in the pillow, hair obscuring his view. He reached out, and careful to not wake her, he slid a lock of hair back. In sleep she was at peace. The lines that had settled around her eyes and mouth these last weeks had eased. He had never seen her like this before, without make up to hide her away from him. Andy smiled. She was beautiful to him, even with every line and blemish on display.

He pulled the blankets up and covered her as he rose, and then he stepped into the bathroom. There was a level of intimacy in sleeping together, and he knew that there would be more to come, but for now he pushed the door quietly closed and went through his morning routine.

While he was standing in the shower, water beating down on his back, steam filling the air around him, she surprised him again. He felt, rather than heard, the door behind him open. Before he could turn Andy felt a hand land against his back. As Sharon moved beneath the spray with him Andy turned sideways to make room for her. He was too astonished to do more than stare at her. This was the last thing that he expected, although it was not unwelcome.

Andy kept his eyes above her shoulders. He found himself searching her eyes, but all he found there was determination and a gleam of humor. She knew that she had taken him by surprise and she was reveling in it. He felt an answering grin curving at his mouth. He placed a hand against her waist and drew her closer while his eyes slowly dropped. His gaze moved downward. He drew a breath as his heart rate increased. Heat moved through him.

His arm moved around her waist as his eyes moved back up her body. He found her looking at him, a brow arched and head tilted. He didn't have to tell her that she was beautiful. He showed her instead. Andy lifted a hand and let it slide into her hair. His thumb stroked the curve of her jaw as his head bent. He kept his eyes on hers and let her see the heat in his gaze. He felt the tremor that ran through her as their bodies came together, touching without any barriers between them for the first time. He angled his mouth over hers, the caress light as he concentrated on the feel of her against him. The soft press of her breasts against his chest drew a low groan from his throat.

Her arms slid around his neck, a hand moving into his hair as her back arched. The feel of him, the way her body moved against the hair covering his chest had heat and desire spreading through her. The intensity of it made her breathless. When his tongue danced across her bottom lip she hummed, and drew him closer to deepen the kiss.

He could have stood there kissing her forever, but his head was spinning with the knowledge that he was holding her in his shower, that he was touching her for the first time. Maybe it was the damned nobility that she accused him of the night before, but Andy lifted his head and gazed down at her again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." The response was whispered. "We're all in," she reminded him. Her eyes dropped to his lips, just for a moment, before lifting to meet his gaze again. "We can't go back. We can only move forward." They had taken it slowly, and they had tried to plan for every contingency. The only thing that had managed to do was hurt them both. Sharon shook her head at him. A smile curved her lips. She knew the effect that she had on him, she could feel the heat of his arousal and the way he held himself almost rigid while he waited. "Stop holding back," she told him. "I want you." That included all of the passionate, hot-blooded, loose-tempered, sarcasm and stubbornness. She was never blind to who he was, she had fallen in love with him, all of him.

He reached behind him and shut off the shower. Andy curled an arm around her waist and drew her tight against him while pushing the shower door open again. He maneuvered them both out, but captured her mouth again. Having her in his shower was a goal for another time; right now he wanted her where he could get his hands and mouth on every inch of her. She was laughing at him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck again as he walked them toward the bedroom.

"Andy!" Her eyes widened as he lowered them onto the sheets. Their bodies were still glistening with water from the shower. Only the ends of her hair had managed to get wet, but his was standing up and still incredibly damp after having just been washed.

"We'll change them," he grumbled. He drew her arms over her head and held them there with one hand while his mouth moved down the graceful column of her neck. "You wanted me to let go. Stop distracting me."

The laughter quickly turned to a low, throaty moan as he moved steadily downward. Yes, this was exactly what she had asked of him. As always, he wasn't about to disappoint her.

They were both late to work, but they had taken full advantage of the morning before going back to the shower. A quick, heated romp was not what they had been waiting so long for. After the many weeks of uncertainty and heartache, Sharon chose to ignore the fact that they were late, and that it was obvious that they had arrived together, despite having taken their own cars to work. They would simply have to make sure that it didn't happen again. They had done very well at keeping their relationship separate of their professional responsibilities before; they would again, she was certain. For once, though, their personal lives had needed more care and attention.

Standing in her office, Sharon could feel the heat of his gaze. She stared at the top of her desk, but couldn't suppress the smile that spread across her face. She gave it a few moments and measured them carefully. When she finally looked up his attention was on his own desk, and the work that was waiting for him this morning. Sharon nodded to herself. They would be okay.

Before settling in completely, Sharon lifted her phone and sent a text to Lieutenant Provenza. She knew very well that Patrice had told her partner, by now, what had gone on between her and Andy. It was simply the way that relationships worked. Tell Patrice that I said thank you. Take her out. Anywhere that she would like to go. My treat. Ordinarily, Sharon would have had them over to dinner to express her gratitude, but she didn't think that they were quite ready for that just yet.

She turned her attention onto her own work, but not without acknowledging that there was one conversation that still needed to be had. It was time that she made it clear to Rusty that she would respect his boundaries, but she would not live within them.

-TBC-