Behind The Scenes

By: supercsi4

Chapter 18 – Way To Go

SARA:

Here we go again, one of our own seriously injured and in the hospital. Jim was shot in the chest while trying to apprehend our suspect and saving a hostage. His heroics sent him to the hospital hanging on for dear life. There are few things Grissom and I haven't discussed since we began our relationship, but being put in the situation Grissom was placed in with Brass, we were forced to talk about it. Jim had named Grissom his power of attorney and even though Grissom was floored by the respect Brass was showing him by putting his life in Grissom's hand, Grissom didn't want it. He didn't want the responsibility and he didn't want to have to make that life altering decision for Jim. That's the reason we had never talked about it. Grissom never wanted to think about the fact that he might lose me after so very long he was finally able to have me.

But the night after Grissom had made the decision for the hospital to go ahead with Jim's surgery, he and I sat down and wrote out our wills and power of attorneys for each other. Grissom shocked me by explaining how if something were to happen to him before we got married, he wanted everything taken care of because after we're married it wouldn't be so much of a hassle. Just hearing those words come out of his mouth turned my insides upside down. I was so happy and sad and mad and I had emotions colliding within me from this whole experience and something set me off and I practically attacked Grissom, wanting to hold him and love him with all my heart. So we had to take a small break from all our paperwork to have sex on the kitchen floor because I couldn't even make it to the bedroom.

I was so worried about Jim and also worried about Grissom. That night, after our escapade in the kitchen and all the serious stuff was taken care of we relaxed in bed together and I let myself cry for the first time since I'd heard about Jim. Grissom just held me tight as I drifted off to sleep, but I couldn't help but notice him quietly crying too.

We were all at the hospital the next day when Jim was awake and slowly recovering in the hospital. Grissom went in to stand by his bed, while Catherine, Nick, Warrick, Greg and I watched from outside the room and rejoiced when Jim turned to wave at us. I was so emotionally drained and I knew Grissom was probably worse then me, so I decided at that moment, Grissom and I were going away on a long vacation away from all this.

I decided on Hawaii because I had never gone before and I needed someplace warm, with lots of beach and sun and Grissom. I proposed my plans to Grissom that evening and he was quick to agree. He needed to clear his head and relax more then anything right now. But he was much more excited then I would have expected. I mean he'd be off work for two weeks and his life was his work. Unfortunately he dug out this god ugly Hawaiian shirt from his closet and decided to wear it to bed to celebrate our upcoming trip.

I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed to go to sleep, I mean get into bed, because I didn't really know how soon I'd actually be sleeping, but anyways, Grissom began on one of his rambles. I could tell this whole Jim thing really got him thinking about dying.

"I don't know…" he began, "Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it"s happening. Like a crime scene. Surprise, you"re dead. I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer, actually. Have some time to prepare. Go back to the rain forest one more time. Re-read 'Moby Dick.' Possibly enter an international chess tournament." I had to get him to stop, he was depressing me on the night before we left for our first vacation together. "At least have enough time to say good-bye to the people I love." He finished as I had made my way out of the bathroom in only a robe. I knelt down next to the bed, my arms reaching out along the bed cover. I shake my head, smiling, all I can say is, "I'm not ready to say good-bye." He gives me a quick Grissom smile that has always turned me on, then he pulls me onto the bed with him. We make love and then find it hard to fall asleep, both of us too excited about leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.

GRISSOM:

I can't even think, my head and heart are a swirl of emotions right now and I don't now what I'm doing. In the span of 2 days, Jim was shot in the chest, sending him to the hospital and giving me the responsibility of holding Jim's life in my hands and making the decision of sending him thru surgery or not. Then Sara and I had the one conversation I avoid more then marriage…our wills, power of attorney and what would take place if something happened to one of us. I never even want to think about losing Sara, let alone write it all out of paper. But something I had said in the middle of all the paperwork sent Sara into some kind of sex frenzy and we made love on our kitchen floor pouring all the stress and emotions from the day into each other…and it was good.

The next day I was sitting in my office looking through a book pertaining to our corset man case. I was trying to focus all my energy into this case to keep from worrying about Jim. Sara walked in carrying a file folder and asked, "How's it going? You okay?" She puts a hand on my shoulder and I look up at her.

"I'm okay." I just want to hold her and wait until Jim is out of surgery and all this is over. She looks back at me for a long moment, studying me, assessing me, reading me. Then she turns to look at the book I'm flipping through.

"That's a…man in a corset," she observes.

"Corset-training. A venerable practice."

"Maybe for Scarlett O'Hara. Since when was it equal opportunity?"

"In Victorian times, it was considered a staple of masculine attire. Students in British boarding schools were encouraged to lose an inch a year from the time they were fourteen on." Sara takes a breath and sits down.

"I guess I should feel comforted that sadistic ideas of beauty aren't restricted to women."

"Mmm…It's called a wasp-waist, which is revealing. A wasp is from the insect group hymenoptera. The notion of hymen indicates virginity. In predacious wasps, the genitalia no longer function as a reproductive organ. It's used as a stinger."

"Go in for sex and get stung. Pretty much every man's fear."

"Mmm." Ain't that the truth. "The victim was shot, body dumped, clothes burned." She gives me the file folder.

"The corset, too. The bone fragments that Nick found at the crime scene were whalebone, which is what they used to make corsets out of. Where did you learn so much about corsets?"

"I have my sources." A week doesn't go by without the phrase, 'State your source,' being uttered in our house.

Later we are out at the battlefield, looking for evidence and dueling with our cameras. Sara and I are back to back. Sara lifts up her camera and asks, "Ready?"

I lift up my camera. "Ready." We start counting our paces as they head in opposite directions.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. We both whirl around. Sara snaps her camera first. I snap my camera next. She won the duel. We grin at each other, I'm so glad that we can go back to old Grissom and Sara flirting and banter at work. Of course it does help that we are sleeping together now.

In our bedroom that night, after Jim is in the clear health wise and our case is solved. Both Sara and I took off two weeks together to go on vacation and still no one is suspicious at work. I'm lounging on our bed in my Hawaiian shirt I had dug out of my closet, ready for our first vacation away together, waiting for Sara to get out of the bathroom and join me. Jim's whole situation had really got me thinking about death and what I want for Sara if something happened to me. The next day I wake up could be my last, I have finally come to realize. But I'm happy now, happier then I've ever been, waiting here on Sara and my shared bed, in our shared bedroom, in our shared apartment.

"I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening." I begin to speak to Sara still in the bathroom. "Like a crime scene. Surprise, you're dead. I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer, actually. Have some time to prepare. Go back to the rain forest one more time. Re-read 'Moby Dick.' Possibly enter an international chess tournament." And here comes Sara. All I see first are her long slender gorgeous legs peaking out from a very thin white knee-length robe, as she enters the bedroom. She heads towards me and smiles. "At least have enough time to say good-bye to the people I love." She kneels down next to the bed, her arms reaching out along the bed cover. She shakes her head, still smiling, as she responds.

"I'm not ready to say good-bye." I can't help but smile back at her before pulling her into bed with me. We make love and then find it hard to fall asleep, both of us too excited about leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.