The Worst Case Scenario

By Kadi

Rated K+

Disclaimer: It isn't my sandbox. I just come here to play...

Chapter 3

Lieutenant Provenza's lecture was still ringing in Rusty's ears a full day later. Even after Patrice had expressed her disappointment in him, the Lieutenant had his turn. Rusty kind of expected that, at least in hindsight. The older man wasn't about to let him off the hook, not this time.

While they had finished dinner, Rusty listened to all of the many ways in which he could improve his behavior. It wasn't only about lecturing him though; he realized that throughout the conversation. They made a point of explaining how different his present situation was from those he experienced before.

Although their names might be the same, that was where the similarities between the two Sharons in his life ended. It was something that Rusty had already known very well, but the whole idea of this Sharon dating, in the same way that other people did, it just threw him. He never really expected that. Rusty wasn't sure why; maybe because he never really thought of Sharon as being like most people.

Rusty spent that night and the entire next day thinking about it. When he met her, Sharon wasn't dating. She was married. She didn't go out on dates and she didn't have people over. In the beginning she was around all the time, except for when she had to be at work, but after he was out of Emergency Care, she had friends that she would see. She would go to dinners, or on outings as her schedule allowed. She went to museums, and there were shopping trips. She always came in at a relatively appropriate hour, and if she was going to be late, or if her day was interrupted by a murder, she would always tell him. Sharon never wanted him to think that she wasn't coming back.

In just those ways she was so very different from his birth mother. Sharon Beck would never have bothered. She would be gone all night or for a couple of nights, and it wasn't unusual for him to wake up and find some strange man wandering around their place. Sometimes those guys would hang out for a couple of days, or sometimes they would be gone just as quickly as they showed up. It was always the same thing, jerks who only wanted one thing from her. Or from him. Rusty learned very quickly to lock himself in his room when he was home… if they had a home. Otherwise he would make himself scarce.

He never had to do that after he came to live with this Sharon. God why did their names have to be the same? It always gave him a headache. It got jumbled in his head sometimes. For the most part he thought of them as his mom and Sharon… but there were other times when he thought of Sharon and the idea of her as his mother came so easily, so instinctively, that he had to stop and remind himself that he was adopted. Introducing Sharon as his mother came just as easily now, he rarely even distinguished the fact that she had adopted him. For that reason he felt incredibly guilty to think he was the reason that she had been so sad lately.

When she first began hanging out with Flynn, it all seemed so… different and normal. She said that they were only friends. They worked together. Rusty believed her, at least at first. The Lieutenant seemed to come around a lot, or she mentioned that they were going somewhere together. They went to dinner, or movies. He took her to lunch on slow workdays, and there were other events that they attended together. She helped him shop for his step-grandsons. When it seemed like they were living on lockdown, because of his stalker and those letters, Andy would drop by with takeout, usually a burger for him and a salad for Sharon, instead of their usual dinner out.

Maybe Lieutenant Provenza and Patrice were right; his head was shoved up his ass. Although they hadn't said it in those exact words, the sentiment was clear. How many times had Sharon said, quite plainly, that they were not dating? To him it just seemed like they were. What else was he supposed to call it? Most of the time she didn't go out with anyone else and from what he heard around the Murder Room the Lieutenant wasn't seeing anyone else either. Rusty just thought that was the way that old people dated; especially when one of them was still married.

After Jack had come and gone Sharon had changed a bit. He understood a little better why she wouldn't talk about her marriage. He still didn't understand why she wouldn't just end it, but that too had come in time. Being married to Jack had not kept her from spending time with Andy, however. When she wasn't at work, she was with Andy, and likewise. Jack seemed to fade into the background completely. He was living in Los Angeles but she didn't speak of him, and she didn't see him. She ignored him as much as possible.

She only spent more time with Andy after the divorce and Rusty thought that was expected. Wasn't that what people who were dating did? The Lieutenant never stayed over, and as far as he knew, Sharon was never at his place. When she wasn't at home she was at work, that was what she told him and he had no reason to not believe her. Rusty never really considered the idea of people their age as being intimate. Not until Lieutenant Provenza began seeing Patrice. He heard things, pieces of conversations that he would like to forget. He started to wonder about Sharon's relationship with Andy. She said that they were just friends. He wondered if maybe she was telling the truth. Very good friends, she said, that was all that they were.

Without warning, that changed. Rusty got comfortable with the idea that his adoptive mother had a best friend that just happened to be a guy. That could happen. He had friends that were guys that he didn't want to date, why couldn't she?

It surprised him when she said that Flynn was taking her out on a date. She told him the name of the restaurant and she seemed a little weird about it. Rusty had gone and looked it up. Serve. One of the most romantic places in Los Angeles, and from the reviews it was also kind of upscale. The Lieutenant was going all out, and Rusty could agree that she deserved it, but it left him feeling a little confused. Why now? They had been spending all of this time together for more than a year, so why was it changing now?

That Sharon seemed different sent off warning bells in his head. Maybe he was a selfish jackass. She was happy and giddy, and he was worried about how that was going to affect him. He should have been happy for her, not worrying if the bottom was going to drop out of his life. She was smiling and laughing, and rambling about how relationships could change and people could become closer. It was just so weird, Sharon acting like that.

She never said how the date had gone, but he supposed that it went okay. They went out again a few days later. The more they went out, the more cheerful she seemed. When he was around the Murder Room, the Lieutenant seemed just as cheerful. Rusty was trying not to freak out about it too much, but he had this gnawing fear in the bottom of his gut that told him that this was how it started.

His mom would meet a guy; she would get all wrapped up in him, and the next thing he knew… his entire world would change. Just like it had when she met Gary. She left him to stay with Gary. Rusty couldn't go through that again. Sharon was supposed to be different. She was different. He knew that she would never hurt him like that, but that didn't stop the way his chest would tighten and his throat would close up when she mentioned that she had plans with Andy.

Rusty shrugged it off. He tried to pretend like nothing had really changed at all. She was going out with him, just like she had before. He told himself that everything would be okay. They were calling it something different, but it wasn't really like they were doing anything different, and then one evening he came home and walked into the condo to find them standing together in the kitchen.

It was a scene not dissimilar from one that Rusty had witnessed a thousand times before. The breakfast bar was between them, and there were cups of tea in front of each of them. It wasn't like they were making out, but they were kissing. It startled him more than anything else. As Rusty stepped into view it was right in front of his face, just how much that relationship had changed. It wasn't like they were doing anything overly gross, but the Lieutenant's hand had been cupping the back of her head as he leaned across the bar. Sharon's much smaller hand was curled around his wrist. Rusty didn't know how long he stood there, but it was long enough to see them pull apart and for Sharon to smile in a way that he had never seen before.

Rusty had turned on the spot and walked away. He made sure to close his bedroom door especially hard, without exactly slamming it. He wanted them to know that he was there, but he wasn't ready to talk to her yet. His heart was beating much too fast. In truth, he was terrified. What would happen to them if Flynn took over their lives? If Sharon got hurt? If she decided that it was time for him to move out and get on with his life so that she could have something a little different?

She tried to tell him that nothing was going to change for them. Rusty didn't want to hear it. He could even tell that Flynn was keeping his distance a little bit, trying to give him some more space to get used to what was going on between him and Sharon. Rusty didn't want to get used to it. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to even know about it. If he could just pretend it wasn't happening, then he didn't have to worry so much about the future.

It was probably a little cruel on his part, he thought now. How often had Sharon reached out to be part of his life? Even when she didn't fully understand what was happening in it. Before Rusty was forced to make a decision or acknowledge his mother's new romance, it was over. When he thought back, he knew exactly when it ended. Sharon's smile was gone. There was sadness in her eyes, and the Lieutenant was nowhere to be found. For just a moment, Rusty was angry about that.

When it happened in the past, his mom would spend days depressed. She would rage and drink, or do drugs, and then she would find another guy to replace him. Sharon didn't do any of those things, not that he expected her to. She was sad, but she didn't act overly depressed. She went to work, she made dinner, and she asked him what classes he planned to take in the fall. The sparkle was gone from her eyes, though. Rusty couldn't help but wonder if Flynn had gotten what he wanted from her and then moved on. That was usually how it worked, right?

It never occurred to him to wonder if their breaking up had something to do with him. He was much too busy being more relieved than anything else. Rusty just figured that everything would go back to the way that it was before. Sharon never really seemed all that interested in dating anyone else, and with all that stuff that she said about how friendships could change and grow into something else… well, Rusty told himself that this was a one-off.

He supposed, in the end, that he was right about that. It was a one-off. Sharon hadn't considered dating anyone else, because she hadn't wanted to. She wanted Flynn. Andy, he corrected himself. He had been told that he could call the Lieutenant that, outside of the PAB or other work situations, but Rusty had just rolled his eyes at the idea.

After sitting and talking to Lieutenant Provenza and Patrice for several hours, Rusty realized he really was a jerk. Sharon spent years in a bad marriage and the first time, in a long time, that she was really happy, and in a way that didn't have anything to do with her kids or her career, he had to go and ruin it for her. Rusty didn't know what he was going to be able to do to make that right, but Patrice assured him that she had laid the groundwork for Sharon to do it herself.

All that he could do was be understanding, and try to handle the situation better. If either of them spoke to him about any of it, he should apologize. He was not to approach; both the Lieutenant and Patrice were very clear on that. He should let Sharon come to him; they didn't know how her talk with Andy would go, or if the two of them would even want to try again. He would just have to wait and find out.

Rusty figured his waiting was at an end. When he walked in the door that evening he saw a familiar jacket tossed over the back of the couch. Rusty stood where he was for a moment, just listening. There were noises coming from the kitchen. Rusty walked slowly toward it. He pushed his hands into his pockets and stayed quiet. He wasn't sure what he was going to see, and the truth was that he didn't know what he wanted to see.

As Rusty rounded the corner and peered into the kitchen he found them standing together in front of the stove, Sharon had already changed, as was her habit after work. He couldn't really figure out what was being said, but he heard the low rumble of the Lieutenant's voice. He was standing behind her, an arm wrapped around her waist while she cooked. Rusty didn't really want to pay too close attention to whether he was kissing her or not, so he averted his gaze from that. From the way that Sharon was laughing, that quiet, low sound, he thought they must have fixed things. She sounded happy.

Rusty cleared his throat. He stayed where he was, eyes focused on the floor in front of him. The sounds in the kitchen stopped. He looked up, carefully, and he found that they had both frozen. Rusty watched Sharon look up, but her gaze was for Andy. She touched his face and smiled gently before turning her attention away from him. When she looked at him, Rusty felt his chest tighten. For the first time since he had known her, his mother seemed almost wary of him. Her head tilted, and he knew that she was waiting for him to give her some reaction. Rusty glanced between them before shrugging awkwardly. "You're home early."

"It was a slow day," Sharon replied. She watched her son closely. He wasn't comfortable, but he wasn't running. He wasn't combative either. If anything, he looked incredibly guilty. Her brows drew together as she wondered what had brought about his sudden change in attitude. "We will take them where we can get them. Are you in for the night?"

"Um… Yeah." Rusty shrugged again. "I mean; I don't have to be. I could go out if you wanted to be alone," he offered, hoping that wasn't the wrong thing to say. "But I was just going to go to my room and work on some stuff." He had an idea of what he wanted his next story to be. It was only just beginning to take shape in his head, and Rusty had some research to do.

Sharon gestured behind her. "I was making dinner. You should eat first." She couldn't be very sure, but her son seemed to have had a change in attitude. What had prompted it, she couldn't say. She wanted to find out, but interrogating him right from the start would not get them very far. For now she was still floating on a wake of happiness that the previous evening and that morning had created. Andy wanted to take her back to his house, to spend just a little more time together without the rest of the world intruding, but Sharon wasn't willing to hide with him. If they were going to be successful this time, they would have to face all of their challenges as they presented themselves, and Rusty was, so far, the biggest.

"I had something earlier." Rusty looked behind her and let his gaze move quickly over the Lieutenant. Andy was watching him carefully, eyes hooded and just a little bit untrusting. Rusty supposed that he had earned that. He really had acted like a first class brat before. He didn't let his gaze linger on the other man, though, it moved to the stove instead. "But… if that's a pot roast in the oven, and you're making the glaze for the beans, I could eat again…"

"Okay then. Why don't you—" Sharon trailed off and turned. "Oh damn, the glaze." She nudged Andy aside as she reached out to rescue the saucepan from the burner.

"Yeah." Rusty turned. "I'm going to go put my stuff up and come back to set the table. Obviously, you need help."

"I do not need help," She called after him. "It's fine." Luckily it wasn't scorched; she could still salvage it, quite well actually. "Be quick young man, we're almost finished here." Andy wouldn't eat the pot roast, but there was plenty enough to go with it that would satisfy his vegetarian tastes. The roast was for her and Rusty. It was another way, however minor, for her to show that their lives were not being turned upside down by this relationship. She waited until she was sure that Rusty had made his way down the hall before turning. She gave Andy a wide-eyed look. "What was that?"

"No idea." He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "Maybe we should ask him what he's done." He smirked at her. "He only looks like that when he's done something."

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. She gave his arm a nudge and turned her attention back to making dinner. "You're not entirely wrong. Rusty's apologies are usually more demonstrative than verbal. It's entirely possible that we could be witnessing the beginning of one such event."

"Or he's done something." Andy continued to grin. "Want to flip his room? Or I could go down and search the car."

"Stop it." She lifted the wooden spoon that she was using and pointed it at him. "We are not going to search his car." Sharon sniffed. She tossed her hair back. "I would have traffic pull him over and arrange to have it done by them. What sort of amateur do you take me for, Lieutenant?"

"My mistake." His dark eyes sparkled. Andy pushed away from the counter and reached for her again. His arms slipped around her middle as he pulled her back into his chest. His lips found her neck, and just as if Rusty had not interrupted them, he went back to teasing the soft at her pulse point. "Maybe the kid had a change of heart." He knew she would want to be positive about it. He could try, for her. Part of him wondered if Provenza had anything to do with this. His partner hadn't said anything, but he figured that if Patrice knew, then he knew. It wouldn't surprise him if the old man had taken Rusty aside and said something.

"Maybe," Sharon agreed. She leaned back against him and tilted her head to one side, giving him more access to her neck. "Rusty will speak to me when he's ready, but in the meantime, this is still happening. He is going to have to get used to it." She stopped stirring the glaze and looked up at him. "Andy, I haven't changed my mind about that."

"I know." He leaned in and pressed a light kiss to her lips. "I didn't think that you had." Andy glanced at the stove and made sure that there was nothing else there that required her attention before he turned her around to face him. His arms moved around her waist. "All in," he said, repeating what she had told him that morning.

"All in," she murmured back. Sharon moved her arms around his neck and rose onto the balls of her feet to touch her lips to his. She smiled into the kiss. "If I burn dinner the kid will have reason to complain, and we will have to just listen to it."

"I'll order him a burger." Andy pulled her closer. "I'm not above bribing him," he muttered against her mouth.

It was that scene that Rusty walked in on. He couldn't stop the groan that left his mouth. He covered his eyes. "I still don't want to see it," he said. Rusty shuddered. "Look," he let his hand fall away from his face. They were watching him again, and the wariness was back. "I'm trying here, to be okay with this," he waved his hands at them, "and not freak out or be a total jerk anymore, but please…" He pleaded, "don't make me have to see it. I'm serious." He looked directly at Sharon and if he had to beg, he would. "Do you want to walk in here and find me kissing some guy?"

Whatever adomishment that she had been about to make was suddenly pushed aside. Sharon nodded. "Certainly not. Very good point." He was trying, he said. She looked up at Andy, and while the happiness in her gaze was not reflected there, he shrugged and offered a nod. It would take him longer to be comfortable with Rusty again, but that was understandable. When he offered a small grin, she laid her hand against his chest. Sharon's gaze moved back to Rusty. "We will try to be more respectful of common areas, but Rusty…" Her tone hardened, just a bit, taking on a slightly stern edge, "we expect that sentiment to be returned. We won't always know when you are coming or going. I am not going to hide this part of my life. This relationship is happening, and it is going to continue happening. Do you understand?"

"Yeah." Rusty nodded. "I get it. I do, I just… you know. I don't want to see my mom kissing some dude. Ever. I can't promise I'm not going to say it's gross when I see it. I can try to keep it to myself, but… it's kind of gross."

He looked so desperately helpless that Sharon almost laughed. There were times, like this one, when she was reminded just how young he was. Her lips pursed to keep from curving into a smile. Sharon arched a brow at him. She considered it for a moment. "Fair enough, but do try to refrain," she warned him.

Rusty knew that he could push only so far. "Deal." He walked over and began gathering what he needed to set the table.

"Good." Sharon nodded once more and turned back to the stove. She knew that Andy would hover nearby, simply because he wasn't ready yet to deal with Rusty on his own, at least not in this setting. She let her hand slide down his arm and then turned her attention more fully on dinner preparations.

It was going to be a process. They were all going to have to try a little harder to get along in this new situation. She and Rusty would find their way, and soon enough she would find out just what had brought about his improved opinion on the matter. The timing was a little too coincidental, and she wondered if Patrice had something to do with that too. Either way, she was grateful. She would not take any of it for granted again, however. She had Andy, and she had Rusty, along with her other children. They were all incredibly important to her. She would blend those parts of her life together, but she would no longer just wait for it to happen as it should.

She would never choose Andy over her children, just as she knew that he would never choose her before Nicole and Charlie. What she would do, and was more than prepared to do, was tell her children to grow up and accept that he was part of her life. She had never allowed them to dictate her relationships before, and would not begin to do so now. While she could respect their opinions, they would respect hers.

Sharon thought about that as she kissed Andy goodbye at the door later that evening. Respect was a two way street. While it needed to be earned, rather than freely given, Rusty was making a good faith effort. Sharon could meet him halfway. That was why she had sent Andy home with a kiss and a promise to join him shortly. She needed to pack another overnight bag anyway.

Rusty had tried during dinner to act as though nothing had changed and it was any other dinner that Andy was joining them for. That hadn't stopped the evening from being awkward. Her son was not the only one that struggled through the meal to act like things were as they had been before. Andy was trying too, but Rusty's mistrust had damaged that relationship, and at the core of it she knew that there were hurt feelings.

He never expected to become especially close to Rusty. That was Provenza's thing. Sharon understood, however, that he thought they had an otherwise decent relationship. Andy had spoken to Rusty at length about addiction and recovery. Her son had gone to him and he was more than happy to help, anyway that he could. Andy made no secret of his past, and was never reluctant to talk about his journey through recovery, but he had told that boy things that even his own children had never bothered to ask. He was bothered, deeply, that Rusty would compare him to one of Sharon Beck's abusive, addict boyfriends. At the same time, he had understood Rusty's issues, and so he had tried to look beyond it; just as he was trying now. That relationship would have to be rebuilt, but she believed that they could do it. She would not involve herself. What was damaged was between them. Her fault was in allowing it to go on as long as it had. That was something that she and Andy would work on together.

Sharon sent him ahead of her because she wanted to spend time with him, but while Rusty was still uncomfortable with the idea of them, she would respect his boundaries by joining Andy instead. As she had previously decided, she could meet her son halfway. On the other hand, Sharon wasn't entirely comfortable with having Andy spend the night while her son was home. That was something that they would work on too, but for now, she felt far more comfortable exploring that side of their relationship in another location than the one where her son was residing.

She took her time, after Andy left, repacking her overnight bag. She knew now how the evening, and quite possibly the morning, would go. She could take more care with the process. Afterward she carried her things to living room and left the bag by the front door. She did a quick tour through the condo to make certain that there was nothing that required her attention and then she walked back down the hall to Rusty's room.

His door stood partially open, something he did when he had his earphones in, just in case he didn't hear her knock. Sharon tapped on the door as she pushed it open and smiled at the sight of him sitting on his bed, a computer and a few books spread out in front of him. She waited until he pulled the earphones out before stepping more fully into the room. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Um. Sure." Rusty placed his computer aside and turned his body toward her. This was a discussion that he had known would come eventually. "What's going on?" He didn't know how else to start, even if he did have a pretty good idea what she wanted to talk about.

She smiled warmly at him. When he fidgeted where he sat, the smile softened considerably. "Rusty, I understand that adult relationships can be very confusing. I know that you're trying," she added. "I feel like I haven't made one thing very clear to you, and that was my mistake in all of this." She held up a hand when it seemed like he might protest. "No, wait. This relationship with Andy is very important to me, but nothing is more important to me than you and your brother and sister. While there may be moments, like tonight, when I am going to put that relationship first, I will never choose it over you. Can you understand that?"

Rusty looked down. He picked at the hem of his pants leg. "I think I do." He looked up at her and shrugged. "I think I always did. It just… I didn't know how to feel about it all. You never dated before. She always did, and it wasn't so great. I know that you're not her," he added quickly. "I've always known that. But every time she got serious about a guy, which was a lot, everything changed. It got really bad. Then she left." Rusty sighed. "I know you're not going to do that, Sharon. I know, but…"

She watched him gesture helplessly. His instinct had been to protect himself, based on the only experience that he ever had with a mother dating. She walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. "Rusty," she spoke gently, "this is all new to me too. I haven't been this involved with someone in a very long time. I didn't date while Emily and Ricky were living at home." That was not to say that she had lived a completely solitary life, but they didn't need to get in to that. "I am going to make mistakes too, but I will always be here for you."

"I know." Rusty gazed back at her. When her brows lifted he smiled crookedly. She wanted him to say it again. Rusty shook his head, even while he grinned. "I know," he repeated. "I really am sorry, Sharon. I didn't want you to get hurt. I guess it never really occurred to me that you two were that serious already."

"Every relationship is serious, Rusty. There are just different levels." She reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "I think that everything is going to work out. It's all just going to take some time, and some effort," she warned. He couldn't expect things to be fixed by themselves.

"I'm going to work on it," he promised her. Rusty watched her stand again and followed her with his gaze. "So, you two, you're really like, completely back together now?"

"We are." Sharon remained by the bed. "Very much back together," she explained, "and I hope to keep it that way. I don't know what will happen, but…" She offered a delicate shrug and a smile, "Andy is incredibly important to me, Rusty."

He looked down again and this time he chewed on his bottom lip. He remembered what Patrice had said. "You love him?" He asked carefully, and a bit timidly.

"Yes," she said softly. "I do. There is room in my heart for all of you, Rusty. Someday you will understand that." She watched as he worked on that one. There would come a day when he would be able to accept it more easily. "I won't be home tonight," she continued, "is there anything that you need before I go?"

He was surprised by that. Rusty blinked at her. "Um. No. Are you…" He didn't want to know, he truly didn't. Rusty's brows drew together in a frown. He pushed through his discomfort. "Will you be with Andy?"

"Yes." Her smile brightened. "But if you need me, you can call me. I will always answer. Okay?"

He was actually a little relieved that whatever they were going to be doing, they wouldn't be doing it there. The thought was still very uncomfortable though, not because of who she was with… but because he didn't want to think of her doing those things, ever. "Okay." He shrugged. "I'm just going to work on all of this for a while and then I'm going to bed. I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"You will." She turned toward the door. "I will be home in the evening," for how long she wouldn't be able to say. For now she was just going to take it one day at a time.

She was trying to make sure that he understood they would still see each other, Rusty realized. He smiled. "I'll make sure I'm here then." He picked at the hem of his jeans again. "Sharon, do you think he'll forgive me?"

At the door she turned. She leaned against the frame while she considered her son. That seemed to be something that he wanted. "In time," she told him. "That's between the two of you. I'm not getting involved, Rusty. Andy is upset with you, but it won't last forever. It's…" Her lips pursed, and then she offered him a grin. "It's just like when Ricky had to mend his relationship with you last summer. It will happen. We make mistakes, Rusty. Then we learn from them. That's how life works."

"I hope you're right." He rolled his eyes at her. She usually was. "Good night, Sharon."

"Good night, Rusty." She paused for just a moment longer before stepping out of the room. "I love you."

"I know." He met her gaze again. "Me too."

Sharon smiled brightly at him and pulled his door closed as she left. She stood outside his room for just a moment and let her mind catalogue every moment of their conversation. Finally she nodded. She did not expect it to be easy or there to be no further bumps in the road along the way… but at least they were all finally moving in the same direction.

She was still smiling as she walked into the outer room and gathered her things. As she left the condo, a smirk curved her lips upward. Of one thing she was absolutely certain. If the words Worst Case Scenario ever left Andy Flynn's lips again, she would remind him of why he was so fond of keeping an old beanbag souvenir in his desk drawer.

~FIN