may flowers

I'm so sorry for the delay in updates. Coursework/exams at uni. But now they've passed, I can finally focus on this fic again, if you're all still interested.

Chapter Ten

She arrives ten minutes before she's supposed to.

Kate sits in her cruiser, keys still in the ignition, staring up at his building. It's Friday. And Friday means a family dinner. Formally introduced to his mother and his daughter as his girlfriend, and for some reason her stomach keeps flipping over and over again. But why? His mother - she's wonderful, had given them space. And his daughter - his daughter likes her, trusted her with the imagery of her nightmares. She knows, logically, that a lot of that is admiration. She'd saved Castle and Alexis from that bank. That's how Alexis sees her; she's a child's hero. Still, she hopes she can be more. Something real.

Sighing, she switches the car off, climbing out and walking into his building. This is big. Being introduced to his family, formally. She's had her fair share of taking down criminals with no fear in her heart, but this is - this is commitment.

But she likes this man. Loves him. Told his daughter as much, so why should she let this fear stop her?

By the time she's knocking on his door, her heart has ventured to settle in her throat. Commitment. She's part of his family's life.

And it's not fear of commitment anymore, she thinks. He opens the door and greets her with a smile and no, it's not he commitment she fears. It's losing this.

"Hey, come in," he says, banding an arm around her waist once he's closed the door behind her.

"Hey," she replies, a little airily as he steps closer to her, kisses her deeply. Her hands land somewhere on his forearms as he teases her with the fleeting touch of his tongue. Her heart pounds louder in her ears.

They break apart when the patter of small feet grows louder, and he takes her coat to hang beneath the stairs as Alexis rounds the corner.

The little girl's hair is pulled back in a long french braid, running down her back, and for a moment Kate wonders if it's Castle himself who learned how to do that for his little girl. Her face is open and vulnerable because of the hairdo, and when she stops in front of Kate, her dress swishing around her knees, her eyes are wide, hands clasped in front of herself as she looks up at her.

In the corner of her eye, Kate can feel Castle watching them, despite how he pretends to be fully focused on hanging her coat. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at the man, instead crouches in front of his suspiciously quiet daughter.

"Hello, Alexis," she greets her softly, giving her a small smile.

"Hello Kate," Alexis says, eyes falling down to focus on her hands. Shy.

Kate reaches out, rubs a thumb across the skirt of Alexis's dress. A mishmash of red and white flowers cover the fabric, complimenting the young girl's porcelain skin.

"I like your dress."

Alexis looks back up at that, the beginning of a smile growing. "You do?"

"Oh, yes. It's very pretty."

Alexis grins, reaching out to tug on one of Kate's curls. She laughs when it bounces back into the way it had been styled, and Kate feels relief flutter in her heart. The girl is still comfortable around her. That's good.

"I like your hair."

Kate grins. "I like yours, too."

Castle moves over to them and Kate stands. He glances between them, and Kate reaches out to give his hand a squeeze reassuringly. They're good. This is good.

To her surprise, Alexis reaches up and slips her hand into Kate's. Kate quickly releases Castle's hand and looks down at Alexis - the young girl is smiling, tugging on her hand to lead her towards the kitchen.

"Dad made bolognese!"

"He did, huh?"

Alexis nods vigorously, pulling her along and Kate follows easily. Castle parts from them, moving to the island to stir their dinner while Alexis points to a glass of wine waiting for their guest on the table, proudly announcing that she'd helped her Dad pour it.

The click of heels against wood signals the arrival of Castle's mother, Martha. She takes the stairs slowly, and Kate can feel the older woman watching her as she interacts with Alexis - has to fight to keep her face from growing red and redoubles her focus on what Alexis is saying. Something about her recent school project. A presentation on a book. At least, she thinks that's what she's saying.

"Katherine, dear. Nice to see you again."

"Hi, Martha," Kate greets her, placing her glass of wine back on the table before accepting the older woman's hug. It shouldn't surprise her as much as it does.

"Well don't you look darling tonight, Alexis," Martha says when they break apart, running a hand across her granddaughter's head.

"Kate said my dress is pretty!"

"Oh?"

Alexis twirls in a circle, giggling when the skirt flares out around her and Kate can't help smiling. This is the kind of carefree attitude Alexis should have. Admittedly, she doesn't know the girl well - has met her only three times and has a handful of anecdotes about her lurking in her mind somewhere from the few times Castle's been unguarded in his love for his daughter. But the last time she'd met her - when she had been terrified and haunted and a little too vulnerable - she had worried that the girl had lost childhood laughter.

"Dinner is ready, ladies," Castle calls, and Martha ushers them to their seats.

Castle sits beside her, his daughter and mother opposite them and she watches Castle's unrestrained smile when his daughter sips up a piece of spaghetti after referencing Lady and the Tramp. It shouldn't surprise her, really. How much he loves his daughter. From the snippets of them together that she's witnessed, she's felt the palpable love he has for his daughter flowing from him. Still - it's nice. More than nice, really.

"So, Katherine, I hear that my son worked with you on a case recently."

Kate glances from Martha to Castle, narrowing her eyes.

"Castle, you know that - "

"I'm not supposed to tell, blah blah blah, I know," Castle replies, nudging her with his foot. "But when I first followed Sophia around, I accidentally told mother about it while I was drunk."

Kate glances at Alexis carefully, but the girl remains fully invested in the meal before her, orange sauce smeared around her lips.

"I did warn you that you couldn't drink me under the table, kiddo."

"I was young! And so naive."

Kate almost chokes on her sip of her wine. "I'm sorry - are you telling me you outdrank him?"

Castle dives in before Martha can reply. "Oh, Kate, trust me - my mother can outdrink anyone."

Kate looks over at the older woman, who simply raises her glass and laughs softly. There's something - accepting, she thinks. Something warm, that bubbles in her chest as she smiles back at the older woman.

Alexis raises her glass of apple juice. "But can you outdrink me, gram?"

Later, when she is stuffed full of pasta and good wine, she sits with his mother and daughter on the couch. Alexis sits to her right, happily chatting through the movie they're watching while playing with her badge. Martha nurses a glass of wine on her other side, happily refilling Kate's glass even when she protests that she's had enough.

"Oh, let loose a little, darling," Martha tells her, laughing. She toasts her glass with Kate's. "Richard tells me you overwork yourself. Very committed to your job."

Kate pauses, glass stuck halfway to her lips. "He does?"

Martha hums, and Alexis tugs on her t-shirt.

"Daddy says you're the best police detective in the whole world," Alexis tells her, little fingers tracing the numbers on the badge. "He says he wanted to write a book about you as soon as you saved us from the bank."

Kate feels her cheeks flush, eyes darting down to the glass in her hands.

"He did, huh?"

At that, Castle joins them, finished with the dishes that he'd denied help with. His mother shifts to make room for him on the couch next to Kate, and he plops down beside her, looping an arm around her shoulders unashamedly.

"Are they telling you horror stories about me?"

He pretends to glare at Alexis, who giggles and pokes her tongue out at him while Martha simply chuckles.

"Oh, if she's made it this far with you, Richard, I'm sure she doesn't scare easily," Martha says, grinning at her granddaughter when she laughs at the statement. "Should I avoid the naked police horse story though, kiddo?"

Castle quickly puts a finger to his lips when Kate's head snaps round to stare at him, mouth hung open. The wine makes her skin warm, fingertips buzzing, so when he reaches out and takes her hand while giving her puppy eyes, she simply shakes her head, not asking. He astounds her, really, this man - caring and gentle yet with stories that rival even her own rebellious years.

"You know, I worked a case related to your books once," she tells him - probably because of the wine.

Castle gasps. "You did?"

Kate glances at Alexis, wondering how much information to divulge in front of the little girl, but Castle continues to stare at her, probing for information.

"Uh, yeah. Couple years back, I think. The Alison Tisdale case - "

"As in daughter of Jonathan Tisdale?"

"Yes. She was killed in a copycat version of some of your books."

Castle's mouth drops open. "You're kidding."

"Nope, almost every detail was the same as one of your books. The incorrect details were how we caught the real murderer - her brother. He did it for the money. This was before their father had died."

Castle's eyes are twinkling, a grin encompassing his face as he glances between his mother and his daughter. One of Alexis's hands falls onto Kate's leg, the other one still occupied with her badge, as she grins back at her dad.

"So you are a real fan of my work, huh?" Castle teases, curling his hand around the curve of her shoulder. "Noticed all the missing details."

She glares at him. "Well, someone had to, since you weren't around to ask our questions."

Alexis drops Kate's badge, pressing both of her hands to her cheeks and letting her mouth fall open with surprise as Castle gasps. His eyes go wide, staring at his daughter as their reactions mirror each other. Kate glances over to Martha with a slight frown, finding the older woman is just rolling her eyes at the members of her family.

"You asked my dad questions?" Alexis asks.

"Oh, no," she replies quickly. "We were going to - but he was attending a book party out of state. We called his agent for his whereabouts during the other few murders and found he had solid alibis."

"I was a suspect in your investigation? That is so cool," Castle breathes, and it's not the first time she finds herself grinning at his childlike nature. "But - wait - you were going to ask me questions? We could've met years ago?"

Kate shrugs. "We've met now."

Though, that does get her mind racing - what would've happened, if they had met then? His daughter would've been a toddler at most, and from what trivia she has learned through his website during her giddy fan days, he was busy divorcing his second wife at the time. It couldn't have amounted to much, could it? She had been too buttoned up - is still messed up now, has too many scars that are damaging for her mental health. But she'd been… guarded. Unable to take risks. Needed that time to learn how to open herself up and be comfortable in herself before she could've had anything like she has now with Castle.

"But Kate," he whines, "this means you could've interrogated me."

His eyebrows wiggle as he says it and she doesn't miss the innuendo, finds her cheeks flushing as she looks back down at her drink and carefully avoids the eyes of his mother. From what she's witnessed of the older woman, she thinks she'd laugh.

Alexis yawns beside her, tiny and hidden behind one of her small palms, but Castle's retracting his arm from around Kate and bouncing up to his feet immediately. Kate watches as he switches to dad mode, instantly reaching to scoop Alexis up from the couch even as she protests that she's old enough to walk by herself, giggling when he hangs her upside down until she gives in. Kate's heart pounds loudly in her chest, watching the delight of the young girl in the glitter of the eyes she inherited from her father.

When Castle finally holds her the right way up, Alexis twists in his arms, holding Kate's badge back out to her.

"Are you going to be here tomorrow morning?" Alexis asks as Kate accepts the badge.

"Oh," she glances at Castle, who raises his eyebrows, waiting for her to answer. "I'm not on call until midday tomorrow, so... yes, probably."

Alexis grins, leaning further down in her father's arms to press a kiss to Kate's cheek.

"Goodnight, Kate!"

Kate smiles, can feel Martha and Castle's eyes on her. "Goodnight, Alexis."

Castle carries her off up the stairs, tickling her and she sits smiling as the twinkling of the young girl's laughter fades away.

Martha says nothing when they're left in silence, and she's not sure whether that's a good thing or not. The woman is chatty, eccentric - but thoughtful, somehow. Her eyes sparkle to a certain degree when she looks between Castle and Kate, she's noticed. The woman notices things.

"I've never dated anyone who has a kid before," Kate admits, unsure why.

Martha studies her neutrally. "My granddaughter doesn't seem to phase you."

"Oh, no. Alexis is a lovely child. Wonderful, actually."

"I think you've solved your own worries there, darling."

Kate smiles to herself, tracing a finger around the rim of her wine glass. It makes a light humming noise, distilling the silence that hangs between them.

"I suppose I have."

Castle's footsteps down the stairs are surprisingly light, and when he reaches the back of the couch and places a hand on the back of her neck she jumps. Martha laughs, while Castle raises his eyebrows and she finds herself growing red again. That seems to be have an effect that this family has on her without meaning to. But it feels - nice. It feels nice to be surrounded by warmth and laughter. She hasn't had this in a long time.

"Well, I guess I'll be heading off to bed, give you two kiddos some alone time," Martha says, wiggling her eyebrows before holding up the almost empty bottle of wine. "You two won't mind if I take this?"

"You're asking instead of just taking?"

Martha laughs as she stands, digging her elbow into her son's ribs. "I've got to look polite in front of our guest."

Castle smiles, leaning in to kiss his mother on the cheek. "Goodnight, mother."

"Night, kiddo. Goodnight, Katherine."

"Night, Martha," Kate says softly, watching Martha ascend the stairs before she stands from the couch, accepting Castle's outstretched hand and following him into his bedroom.

It should probably scare her. That she has things here, enough to make an impromptu stay comfortable, instead of having to bring an overnight bag. In fact, she thinks she might have a drawer in his things without having realised she'd ever began to occupy it. She rifles through the drawer, grabs a pair of leggings and a tatty t-shirt of his that she'd adopted a week or two ago, wondering why he doesn't have a drawer at hers. Is he waiting for her to give him one? It's unusual for him to be so patient. But - oh, understanding. Yes. Definitely.

Castle emerges from the bathroom just as she's climbing into the bed, and she watches the way the golden light from the bathroom spills across the plane of his back muscles as he bends to grab a t-shirt from one of his drawers. The muscles contract beneath his skin, the skin itself glowing and then growing taut as he tugs the clothing over his head, turning to her with a sleepy smile.

He seems pretty content when he slides in next to her, hooking an arm around her waist and tugging her close. It must've gone well. She must've made a good impression on his family for him to be so relaxed. She knows that his family is his main priority.

Kate hums, curling a hand around his jaw, thumb brushing the light dusting of stubble there.

"Castle?"

"Hmm?"

"You love your daughter."

He cracks his eye open, confused. "Yes?"

"No. I mean you - you really love your daughter."

Something must be showing in the tone of her voice, because he opens both of his eyes, propping himself up on his elbow to look down and study her. His free hand travels south, curls around her hipbone and the warmth of his skin through the thin layer of her clothing assuages the cold in her chest.

"Kate?"

She sighs, lifting up to kiss him softly.

"Don't you wonder why I never mention my parents?"

When she settles back beside him, his eyes are downcast, focusing on his thumb tracing patterns at her hip.

"I do, but - I figured you'd tell me about them when you wanted. It seemed… a sensitive subject."

"It is, yes," she admits, playing with the collar of his t-shirt absentmindedly. "But I… I want to talk about it with you."

Castle settles beside her and she curls into him, legs tangled as his lips brush her forehead.

"I'm all ears," he murmurs.

"My father is an alcoholic."

"Kate - "

"My father is an alcoholic because my mom was murdered when I was nineteen. It's why I became a cop. I was pre-law at Stanford at the time. It was an unsolved case, and it - it still is. But my scars, Castle, my shooting at my Captain's funeral, it's linked to that. My mother's case is still unsolved, and I'm in therapy, and I've lost a lot of people due to this case. But - but most importantly I lost my family, you know? My mom was murdered and my dad just… disappeared. And there was a time… he was sober for so long. But then I was shot and... Everything just went to Hell, Castle."

She finishes, a little surprised she's not crying, and wraps an arm around him, pressing their bodies together. His warmth, his touch, it calms her; seals the cracked pieces of her that threaten to break her entirely.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he breathes, gentling kissing against her forehead.

"It's okay. I mean, it's not - my mom's still dead, and my dad is still suffering. But it's… something I'm used to. And I have you."

His arms tighten around her.

"Yes," he says. "You do."

Kate sniffs, tears threatening her eyes as her throat burns but she holds them back, fists her hand in the back of his t-shirt. What will she do if she misses this up? How will she cope losing him?

"It's just that seeing you with Alexis, so close and such a beautiful relationship, Castle, it just… it made me sad, I guess. A happy kind of sad. Bittersweet. I'm glad you have that relationship with your daughter, Rick."

He's silent for a moment, and she sighs, closing her eyes. She's content, wrapped up here with him, even as grief scratches her ribs.

But then he shifts, distancing from her for a moment even as her arms tighten around him instinctively. He pulls back enough for his mouth to find hers. Soft, gentle, and then heated, making her sob or moan into his mouth, isn't sure when he rolls her onto her back and his hands find the skin beneath her t-shirt. She lets her legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as her hands create a vice around his neck, keeping him trapped against her.

"Kate," he pants between kisses. "Kate, I love you."

Her heart stutters, and she sips from his mouth, lets one of her hands curl gently around his ear.

"You do?"

Castle hovers on his elbows above her, hair adorably mussed and eyes hazy.

"I do. I love you, and you don't have to say anything, Kate. I just wanted you to know."

She sighs, pulling him back down to her, and just before she kisses him again, she whispers I love you too.

TBC