A War Within 7
Life moves on. People die and fade into history but some, some are never forgotten. What happened that day on Dagur's flag ship, in the captain's quarters all covered in blood and gore would forever be burned into the minds of Stoick, Toothless, Astrid and Snotlout. The ship was sinking and there was little time to truly mourn. They went into automatic, gathering Hiccup's body and hurrying to the deck. For no rhythm or reason Astrid took all the clean linen and pressed it to Hiccup's stomach and back, starching the bleeding as best she could and refusing to give up even though Stoick verified he had passed on to Valhalla.
There was no reason not to believe him, Hiccup's body was cooling rapidly in the great northern temperature and he hadn't moved even the slightest. He was a bleeding, broken rag doll that was bundled up and tied to the front of Skullcrusher's saddle where his father could watch over his body and ensure it was returned to in one piece to Berk where a proper hero memorial could be held. He was a man crushed. He had lost his wife and now his son. His world was gone and he stared blankly into the distance allowing his Rumblehorn to take complete control. His hand rested on the fur covering his son's back, his thoughts on all the things he might have done to prevent this from happening, how maybe he should have made Hiccup stay a Berk rather than chasing a silly dream presented by the Dragon Eye. But he knew that nothing could keep Hiccup from adventure and new discoveries. Dragons were Hiccup's life.
When they reach Berk it was utter chaos. The sight of their heir's broken and battered body brought outrage to the people and they demanded blood and armed themselves for war. The life of a future chieftain was a grave insult to Vikings and total destruction of the tribe at fault was the least they could demand. It took every ounce of Stoick's exhausted strength to get them under control and avoid all out war with the Berserkers. Dagur was dead, his remains scattered about the northern sea and picked apart by fish and sea dragons just as every man who served under him. The Berserker tribe still on their island had nothing to do with what happened, had not even had contact with their young chief in over three years and now had to find a new chief and there was only one heir fit to take that roll, Heather.
Hiccup's body was taken home and laid on his bed to be cleaned. The riders were sent to their homes to prepare for Hiccup's final farewell. Astrid stayed to comfort Toothless as Gobber helped Stoick wash Hiccup's body. His pale freckled body told the story of what he suffered more than words could ever tell. Bruises, faded and fresh littered his lithe form. The slave mark stood out like a slap in the face for Stoick. To have his son, his only child stripped of every and turned into a slave, a sex slave no less, was the type of thing that made men commit suicide and according to Astrid that was just what Hiccup did. He saved Astrid by giving his life for hers and regain some of his honor. It was a noble act and judging by his bandaged wrists not the first time he tried to end his life, only this time he was successful. He had died for those he loved.
The one good thing about the cold of the north was that the bleeding had slowed. Stoick had first thought the Hiccup had simply bled all out and there was nothing left but what was on the fur, or that with his heart no longer beating the blood had stopped pumping out, his mind not connecting the cold's effect on a person's body. He cleaned his son's body, humming softly the song his beloved Valka used to sing with him and had turned into a lullaby when Hiccup was a babe.
Gobber silently stitched Hiccup's stomach. It they were on the battle field the boy would have been placed on an empty ship and sent to Valhalla in a blaze of glory. In war there was little time to mourn the dead properly but with the danger of Dagur gone and given Hiccup's station they had time to treat his body properly. He said nothing to Stoick, no comforting words or advice, his chief was in no shape to hear any of it, he simply gave directions and helped him rolled Hiccup onto his belly so he could close the opening in his back. A string of large pearls were removed from his body, causing both men to give a curse and Astrid to inhaled deeply, not one of them expecting to find such a thing deep inside his anal channel, the little string the only clue to there being something amidst. The bloody fur was discarded and buckets of bloody water were changed a number of times before the body before them even resembled the Hiccup they knew and loved.
"That's all we can do," Gobber announced, sitting back on his stool. "I'm so sorry, Stoick." He reached forward again and gave his best friend a one armed hug. Tears dotted his eyes but held them in check. He loved Hiccup like his own son, the son he always wanted and was blessed to share with Stoick, but he was Stoick's child and he deserved more than anyone else time alone with the body to grieve. "We'll leave you be for a few hours. Did you want me to prep the Hopeful Puffin for him or one a ship from the fleet? I can change the sails."
"I…I don't know," Stoick confessed. He had not allowed himself even a moment to think of his son's funeral. "Take the sail from the Puffin, it's too small to fit him now. I…have Fishlegs help you."
"Aye," Gobber agreed, patting his shoulder as he stood. "Take your, Stoick. I'll be back shortly. Astrid." He nodded his head toward the stairs but the girl refused to leave Toothless. Both the girl and the dragon were so distraught that they happen left the body since Hiccup was found. He sighed and left them. He doubted they would be any problem for Stoick.
Toothless left Astrid to take up Gobber's spot and laid his big head over Hiccup's stomach and chest, careful of the injuries and gave a pitiful whine.
"No…bad dragon, get off of him," Stoick snapped but his momentary anger gave way at the sadness in Toothless's eyes. He had never seen such a look on the dragon before, as if he had given up everything and just wanted it over with. He wanted to be wherever his Hiccup was. Stoick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He just lost his son he couldn't lose Toothless, too. He was all Stoick had left of Hiccup.
A strange thing happened then. Toothless began to flop his head from one side to the other as if he had an itch and was trying to rid himself of it by rubbing again Hiccup. He began bleating and cooing, bumping his head against Hiccup's. He climbed higher on the bed, pressing more of his body against his riders and wobbling desperately.
"Down! Get down now!" Stoick yelled hurrying around the bed to drag the dragon off his son's body. "Toothless, stop it! Enough!"
Miracles do happen. When Toothless placed his head on Hiccup's chest he felt the faintest of thumbs, barely enough to register as life. Long seconds ticked by but then there was another and soon another. It was so soft, so slow that no human could possibly detect it but it was a natural occurrence for dragons when they were severely injured or going into hibernation. It was a way to let the body heal without putting stress on it. He fought Stoick, pinning the large man to the ground and roaring in his face, desperately trying to tell him what was going on.
"Toothless, stop!" Astrid cried, jumping on his back and trying to get him off Stoick without hurting either of them. She was thrown off and landed hard against the trunk at the end of Hiccup's bed.
Stoick growled in anger. "He may have been your friend, dragon, but he was MY son!" he snarled, shoving Toothless back but the Nightfury bared down on him wobbling and bleating and trying to talk but making no sense. Stoick didn't understand Dragonese and for all he knew Toothless had lost his mind with grief.
Astrid shakily got to her feet and instinctively turned to check on Hiccup to make sure his body hadn't been disturbed. She blinked, her eyes seeming to play tricks for a moment. Then she stared harder. She did not a chest rise and fall, he was still as the dead but she did see something, one finger, his pinky to be exact, curled ever so slightly that had she not been staring directly at it at just that moment.
"Hiccup…" she breathed, sure she was seeing things. That same finger slowly uncurled then did it again. "Stoick…Stoick! Toothless, back down…he's alive," she whispered the last in disbelief, watching with wide eyes and praying to see his chest rise.
Toothless instantly jumped off Stoick with a satisfied bleat as if to say "I told you so" and pranced toward his rider in hopes of seeing bright green eyes open and smile up at him.
Stoick struggled to his feet, certain that Astrid was just being hopeful and that Toothless's movements had simply jostled his son's body. He stood at the foot of the bed but saw nothing, no movement, no rise and fall of a thin chest, nothing to signify life. Still, a sudden hope filled him and maybe it was the wistful thinking of a grieving parent willing to give up everything in the world to have their child back but at that moment he was willing to hold on to that hope. "There's a mirror on the shelf over his desk, get it for me," he instructed as he moved to kneel next to his son's head.
Astrid quickly found the mirror and brought it to him.
It was a trick, one that his father taught him long ago. He took some of the bedding hanging over the edge and wiped away the dust, cleaning it until it gleamed and then very tentatively held it under Hiccup's nose. At first nothing happened, nothing at all and Stoick began to think they had all lost their minds with grief but then…then something magical happened. Maybe it was the will of the Gods, perhaps Hiccup had a destiny still unfulfilled but slowly a small mist began to form on the polished glass. It faded as slowly as it came and then a minute later happened again and then again. It was very slow, the breaths so shallow that they were not heard but were there all the same.
"He's alive!" Stoick gasped in astonishment. He blinked back tears as he got to his feet. "He's alive!" he cried as he grasped Astrid by the arms and lifted her in the air in happiness. "He's alive!" he screamed, hugging Toothless in full forgiveness. He left the two and ran out of his hut screaming at the top of his lungs for all to hear. "HE'S ALIVE!"
Healing takes a long time. Hiccup was in a coma for three months. Gothi tended to him every day, smearing healing creams over his body and praying to the gods over his still body. Within a week his breathing returned to normal and a rattling in his chest alerting her to factures in his ribs that were not healing properly and had to be broken once more and mending correctly. In two weeks his heartbeat returned to a steady pace and could be felt and heard by man and dragon alike. In three weeks the bruises that littered his body become mere discolorations. Miraculously there was no major internal damage when Dagur's sword went through his stomach, no arteries opened or organs destroyed. He had scars, he would always have scars. His back was the worse, a map of pain and anguish that would live with him forever. The marks on his wrists would be a reminded of his moment of weakness and the long scar of the through and through impaling of a broad sword the reminder of how he willing gave his life to save the woman he loved. They were the marks of a seasoned warrior, a survivor and proof of a strong spirit.
It would be three months before he awoke, before he realized he was home but nothing would be the same. The full extent of what happened to him was kept secret from the tribe. All anyone knew, including most of the riders, was that he was tortured and forced to help Dagur retrieve his Skrill, a dragon that was now roaming the Archipelago free. Only a few knew of the slave mark that still burned his chest to this day, a searing pain that would never go away and remind Hiccup of the shame of his rape and remind him always that despite the fact Dagur was now long dead he still belonged to him. He was and always would be his slave. Only his father, Gobber, Gothi, Astrid and Snotlout knew of it and each were sworn to secrecy. If anyone knew any chance of Hiccup becoming chief and being respected by the other tribes would be taken from him and he could be sent to Berserk or worse the Ugli-thug slave lands. Surprisingly, Snotlout never brought it up but was now being groomed as the new heir, Hiccup no longer wanting the honor and telling his father as much a few days after waking up.
It was now six months since the day he died. As far of Hiccup was concerned he had died on that ship. Every part of him that was important to him was gone. He shied away from his friends and family alike, barely speaking unless necessary and fleeing when people came to close. He didn't like to be touched and flinched when people spoke loudly or invaded his personal space. At night nightmares invaded his sleep, memories of his beatings, the pain returning in waves that made him cry out in agony but they were nothing compared to the memories of being raped, of being filled by Dagur and forced to cum by hand and mouth or even more frightening the sensation of being chocked while Savage took his revenge on him, pounding into him even after Dagur run him through, his dying body filling him with seed and piss, a feeling Hiccup would never be able to forget and made him scream in the dead of night.
No one could comfort him. His father would rush to his bed to sooth him but even the simplest touch would set Hiccup off in an even worse bout of night terrors, making him scramble away from what was supposed to be a comforting touch and beg to not be hurt again, promising to do what he was told if he could was shown just a little mercy. He was broken and no one could fix him. Stoick's heart was crushed at his inability to comfort let alone protect his own son.
His friends tried to get him back into a normal routine, reminding him of dragon races and asking if he wanted to get away from Berk and go back to his little hut on Dragon's Edge to get away from all the worried looks the tribe was sending him. But Hiccup declined, preferring to Toothless's company above all others. Toothless didn't constantly ask him if he was okay or tell him it was time to move on and get over it. No one understood what he was going through so where did they get the right to tell him how to feel or what to do?
Surprisingly, Snotlout wasn't the most persistent for change. He sported a handsome scar on his back where he had used his whole body as a shield for Hiccup and Astrid. He still joked around and was an utter goofball but he seemed to read Hiccup a little better and would forcefully ushered the other riders, young and old, away when Hiccup looked on the verge of panic.
"We miss you," Astrid told Hiccup one day. She sat on the edge of cliff overlooking Raven's Point a comfortable distance from Hiccup so that he didn't feel crowded, a habit just about every rider had begun doing.
"I'm sorry," was Hiccup's only response. The only one he seemed to ever give as if somehow this was all his fault.
She sighed and kicked her legs back and forth in thought. "Maybe Fishlegs is right. You know he'd give complete control of his spa for as long as you want it."
He nodded but said nothing.
"Do you want to watch today's Dragon Race? We can watch from Gothi's when you go for you daily meds."
"No," he declined as he did every day.
She sighed again. "I'm…we're all returning to Dragon's Edge tomorrow. I really wish you were coming with us."
He hung his head. "I'm sorry."
They sat together in silence for another hour before Astrid had to leave or miss the race all together. She reached out to touch his shoulder but stopped when he flinched and shifted away from her as if expecting to he hit or some other awful thing that she didn't want to think too hard on. "We're here for you, Hiccup. I'm here. You can talk to me whenever you're ready."
His head bobbed up and down but he said nothing, his gaze at the water below.
There was nothing more she could do. He had pulled away from everyone and locked himself in a little shell. There were few he let near him. Toothless of course was always by his side and the loving rubs and head bunts were meant with rare broken smiles. His father could touch him but only when he was awake and approached from the front. No one could approach from behind without the young man panicking and Valhalla forbid if someone dared touch him.
The only one that didn't scare him was Gobber. The blacksmith posed no threat, his voice was always soft and he never asked Hiccup if he was okay. He knew his former apprentice wasn't okay and wouldn't be for a very long time. As soon as Hiccup was back on his feet he had set the boy back to work in the forge, keeping him in the back were prying eyes would not disturb him and he could pound out all his frustrations on some of the finest metal Gobber could offer him. He watched over the youth, made sure he didn't do anything foolish to purposely hurt himself and brought him his meals. It took a lot coaxing to get Hiccup to eat proper meals but Gobber had the patience of a saint, it was why Stoick had entrusted him with his son's wellbeing when they were at war with the dragons. He reported to Stoick any improvements he saw in Hiccup, if he had smiled or refused to eat. He watched over the youth with great care and worry. When the seven month came and Hiccup was no longer flinching when Gobber talked to him or touched his shoulder he came up with a daring plan to help Hiccup heal.
Rape was a serious crime, it scars may fade on the body but it would always remained in the mind and sometimes it took someone you completely trusted in to show that sex was not always a painful thing. Gobber loved Hiccup as he would his own child and he couldn't bear to watch him suffer and continue blaming himself for the actions of a madman but he wasn't fool enough to think he could heal all Hiccup troubles on his own. He consulted Stoick, reminding him of an incident that happened to him many years ago when he was younger than Hiccup and how their former chief had helped him and kept him from doing something drastic in the aftermath. It was a plan Stoick did not even want to consider for his son but knew that danger if nothing was done.
"He'll be in complete control and you'll be there to protect him," Gobber assured, not wanting to proceed without all parties in agreement. They both feared Hiccup's mental state might deteriorate further if it did not work.
At the end of the next day when the forge was just about to close for the day, Stoick met up with his son and Gobber. Toothless was curled up in his usual spot by the hearth enjoying the heat and the rhythm sound of Hiccup's hammer against iron.
"Alrighty, all hammers down, lad," Gobber said, plucking the tool in mid swing and putting it away in one swift movement.
The youth blinked owlishly as he looked up from his latest project to the glaring light produced by the fire in the hearth. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust. "Oh, hey…I must have lost track of time."
"No worries, laddy. You can beat on that slap all you like tomorrow, right now your Dad and I need to speak with you," Gobber said gently, steering Hiccup away from the table and to the little sitting area in the center of the forge.
"What did I do?" he asked, automatically thinking he had done something and needing to apologize. "I didn't mean to let the fire die down."
The fire was burning brightly, not forgotten because it was Grump's job to take care of it not Hiccup's, not since he was kid charge with stoking it every so often. "You did nothing, Hiccup. Just take a deep breath and try to relax. Here, sit down."
Confused the boy did as he was told and looked to his father questioningly. "Then why am I in trouble?"
"You're not," his father assured before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hiccup…I…we…Gobber wants to help you." He stumbled through his words not sure how to put Gobber's plan into words for his son. Hiccup was already fidgety and looked ready to bolt.
Thankfully Gobber took control. "We haven't really sat down and talked about what Dagur did to you and I don't mean the beatings."
Hiccup hung his head, his chin right down to his chest. "You know what happened," he said refusing to meet either of their gazes.
"Yes and it was a horrible thing. It was sick, cruel and the most horrific thing a man can do to another man against their will."
"But men don't get raped," Hiccup objected. "Women do."
"You know that's not true. Rape is rape regardless if it happens to a man or woman. If you didn't want it then he should never have done it," Gobber continued.
Hiccup shrugged his slim shoulders, looking small and fragile. He still was eating right unless someone was there to make sure he ate and had lost considerable weight due to it.
"Hiccup, do you like men…sexually?" Stoick asked a little too bluntly and Gobber elbowed him.
"No…maybe," the boy answered softly.
"Do you know the difference between wanted sex and forced sex?" Gobber continued, moving his seat a little closer so that Hiccup was focused on only him and not looking to his father for answers.
Hiccup glanced up. "With a woman?"
"No, a man. The difference between having someone you care for and respect as opposed to someone you hate."
"Oh…" he whispered looking down again. "No."
"Do you want to?"
His head jerked up and he inhaled deeply. "What?"
Gobber sighed and took a deep breath. "When I was a boy I was raped by my uncle. It was a horrible experience and traumatised me for a very long time. There are days when it still haunts me. I was so scared of people…men that I couldn't function. I was disgraced, humiliated and honor stolen from me but our chief, your grandfather approached my parents with a proposal never heard of before, to teach me the difference between good sex and bad sex, wanted sex and unwanted sex. I already liked men but I was terrified that I was a freak, that no one would ever want me. No woman, no man, no one. I was scared, Hiccup. I thought my life was over and I'm not saying what he did was right…what I'm proposing is right but maybe it can help." He let his breath out slowly and prepared for the worse.
"You want to…with me?" Hiccup said to clarify. His eyes were round as saucers and he looked more frightened then Gobber had ever seen him.
"You can say no," Gobber said quickly, raising his hands to show he meant no harm. "I'm not pushing this on you, lad. You're in complete control. You call all the shots. Your Dad will be here the entire time and so will Toothless. You'll be completely safe."
"I…" Hiccup's mouth hung open. He shook his head and stood, a fragment of his old self returning. "This is insane," he announced, his voice no longer a whisper yet still not his usual octave. "You're suggesting we…you and me… You're like a second Dad to me. You've cared for me my entire life. You made my leather diapers for Thor's sake." With every word his voice grew stronger as he passed the room. It was the most he said at once since waking from his coma.
"That's why he's the best choice," he father said gently. "Because he loves you enough to do this for you, if you want it."
Hiccup ran his hands through his hair and pulled at it. "This is crazy! I… Why? Why now? Why not when I first awoke and was so scared of everything?"
"Because that would have only down more damage," Gobber answered. "Look, lad. There's no pressure. You don't need to do anything. It's just an offer."
The young man began hyperventilating as he pulled at his hair and stared at the hearth. Toothless stirred, sensing his rider's growing anxiety.
"This was a bad idea," Stoick said as he quickly got to his feet. He took three long strides and placed his large hands on Hiccup's bony shoulders. "Hiccup, deep breaths. It's alright. It was a bad idea. Just forget about it. You're fine. Everything's fine."
It took time but Hiccup's breathing slowly returned to normal, the odd hiccup escaping him as he tried to calm down. "Everything's not fine," he breathed, his chest tight and vision slightly blurred. "I'm not fine. I'm never going to be fine." He wiped at rogue tears and looked to Gobber. "I'm in charge? You'll stop if I say so?"
Gobber gave a nod. "Yes."
"And if I don't want you touching certain…parts of me, you won't?"
"Of course not. I'll do only what you want me to, lad, and nothing more."
Hiccup sniffled then nodded. "Alright…I'll do it…I'll try."
He was terrified and they knew it. The forge was completely shut down, the shutters closed and locked by Stoick to ensure no interruptions. Hiccup watched all the preparations as if trapped in a bubble and questioning his decision. He had never ever considered Gobber as a sexual partner. He never imagined having sex with any man. His heart had always and will always be with Astrid. He absently ran his fingers over Toothless's wing, his best friend's closeness the only thing keeping him from bolting out of the forge and never showing his face again.
When the forge was completely locked down Gobber led him to a work bench. "Alright…now it's up to you, do you want us to be completely naked or just trousers off?"
Hiccup took a deep breath. "Trousers," he said softly, not wanting to display his slave mark.
Gobber nodded. "I'll let you remove your own trousers, alright? That way if you change your mind you can pull them up fast enough."
The corner of the youth's mouth curled up in a half smile. It lasted maybe a heartbeat before disappearing as he unlaced his breaches. Gobber left him to fetch a jar of lube he kept on a high shelf for his special visitors. He placed it on the table next to Hiccup and waited until the boy's trousers were on the floor before continuing.
"Do you want to keep the prosthetic on?" he asked, keeping his gaze on Hiccup's face and not down on his limp manhood. He wanted Hiccup to stay calm and trust him. He would not do anything to make the boy uncomfortable.
Hiccup inhaled deeply. "On," he answered needing the security of both legs.
"Okay…now for the big one. Do you want to lie on the table or be bent over it?"
The boy froze, his breath hitching as memories of his rape hit him. Dagur had taken him from behind the first rape and many times afterward. Savage had made sure he was facing him while choking him and pounding into his core. But there really was no third option, at least not a position that Gobber could easily handle given his one fake leg and hand. He trusted Gobber, he really did but he just didn't know what to do. "Forward…I want to see you."
"Alright." The blacksmith went to help him up on the table but Hiccup stopped him and hoped up on his own. "Now, give me your ground rules. What am allowed to do and not allowed?"
There was a lump in Hiccup's throat that he had trouble swallowing. He looked to his father for guidance but Stoick only nodded with a look that clearly said it was okay and not to be afraid to tell Gobber what he wanted. "No touching my dick," Hiccup started nervously. "I don't want to be forced to cum."
Gobber nodded in agreement.
"And…and I don't want you cumming in me. I don't want to feel that ever again."
Gobber hummed softly. "That might be hard but I'll be my best."
"Or on me…I don't want it on me."
"Okay."
"No kissing or making out just do it and get it down with and…"
Gobber hushed him. "I get the idea. Now lay back. I will have to prep you so that means stretching you."
"With your fingers not your mouth," Hiccup quickly added. This was business, a way to help him not personal. He took a few calming breaths before lying down. He looked to his father once more, needing to know he was there for him despite how embarrassing this felt. His gaze met Toothless's and he finally relaxed. His dragon and his Dad would never let anything bad happen to him. They would always be there to watch over him. He lay back and focused on the gentle touches knowing that Gobber would never hurt him.
Gobber's callused fingers caressed Hiccup left hip, stroking it slowly and reassuringly. He talked the entire time, letting Hiccup know it was him standing between his legs and that he was safe and would stop the instant he was asked. As promised, he avoided the youth's genitals and focused on his far too skinny legs, cursing softly to himself at how much weight the boy had lost and trying to figure a way to help him get healthy again. The whole time Hiccup trembled, his body not totally under his control.
"It's okay, Hiccup. I'm going to stretch now. I'm going to use lots of lube so it doesn't hurt. If it does or feels in any way uncomfortable don't be afraid to tell me," Gobber told him as he pop the lid off the jar. He dipped his fingers in and took a liberal amount intent on making sure Hiccup was good and loose before entering him.
Lube was smeared over the puckered hole and slowly massaged in while Hiccup threw an arm over his face to muffle his whimpers. Gobber took his time and waited until the boy relaxed. "I'm going to work the first finger in. Take a deep breath and let it out when I say to," he instructed. He pressed the tip to the opening. "Now." He slipped his pointer in while Hiccup exhaled and of course the moment Hiccup felt it enter him he inhaled quickly, his muscles clamping one on that one digit. Gobber assured him that was alright and natural and was to be fully expected. He kept his voice gentle and reassuring like he did when he taught the boy the ways of the blacksmith except this time it was Hiccup's body that was being molded and Gobber the tool they would use.
With each digit entered into Hiccup the youth would tighten painfully. Gobber stopped when he had the second finger in two knuckles deep. Hiccup had begun breathing rapidly against and was shaking so bad Gobber feared he might break all over again.
"Do you want me to stop?" Gobber asked as Hiccup pressed the palms of his hands tightly against his eyes. He began pulling his fingers out.
"No…" Hiccup wheezed, his chest tight. "No…I'm okay…I'm okay?"
"Are you sure?" Stoick asked worriedly, as he hovered next to Toothless. He did not like the look of pain on his son's pale face.
Hiccup nodded. "Yeah…keep going. I'll be okay." It was a lie but right at that moment Hiccup needed to believe it.
"Third and last finger," Gobber told him.
Hiccup grunted, his eyes screwing shut. He did not like the feel of fingers inside him but at least Gobber was gentle about it and the lube made his finger slid in and out without scratching his insides. After a while Hiccup was able to relax into it, not enjoy it but not let it frighten him so much. It last a few long minutes by which time his insides no longer tightened with every movement. That all changed the moment they were removed. He knew what was coming next and that scared him to no end and he was a struggle not to panic.
Gobber only undid the flap to his trousers and opened his skivvies to free his throbbing cock. He couldn't help but get a little aroused having his fingers up such a wonderfully tight ass as Hiccup's. It wasn't the boy that aroused him. No, Hiccup was family and being aroused by a boy so much like a son was not appropriate. But when Gobber topped a partner he liked a tight ass hugging his length. Nonetheless he smeared lube along his entire length, more than he normally would but as much as he enjoyed friction he did not want to hurt Hiccup any more than he already was, mentally or physically.
"I'm going in now," he warned and waited for Hiccup's permission. When the boy nodded he slowly guided his slick cock into that pulsing hole. Oh, such sweet heat! The boy's inners were burning hot. Gobber bit his lip and reminded himself he was doing this to help Hiccup and not get his own jollies by fucking the youth. He kept his movements slow and precise, going all the way in before stopping once more when those rippling walls clench down. "Are you alright, lad? Do you want me to stop?"
Hiccup didn't answer. His eyes were screwed shut and he was panting, his breaths coming out in gasps as if he was about to have another panic attack, something that had been decreasing in frequency since he went back to work in the forge.
"Gobber, pull out. He can't do this," Stoick said, panicking on his son's behalf.
The older man nodded in agreement. This was wrong. Hiccup wasn't like him. This wasn't the way to handle things. But long legs suddenly tightened around him, surprisingly strong for one so weak.
"No…" Hiccup breathed, uncovering his eyes. He panted softly, catching his breath as he tried to reconcile what he was feeling inside him now compared to how it felt with Dagur and Savage. "I just need a minute."
"Does it hurt?" Gobber questioned, worry growing at the tears running along the corner of Hiccup's eyes.
For a moment Hiccup was quiet. "A little," he admitted. "Different I guess."
"Are you sure you want me to continue?"
A small nod of consent that showed the trust he still held in Gobber despite the position they were in.
Gobber smiled adoringly at him, admiring the boy's strength and moved slowly in him, brushing his prostrate gently and slowly, very slowly, coaxing Hiccup into arousal. He didn't touch the boy's manhood but encouraged him to touch himself, to let himself enjoy. This was sex. This was lovemaking. This was what it meant to be cherished. Nothing was forced. Hiccup only ran his fingers over his length, touching himself as he would while masturbating. When he came it wasn't an overpowering orgasm that made his back arch and caused him to scream to the heavens but instead a full body shudder and a few gasps as his seed spilled on his belly in a few small squirts.
Gobber kept his word and pulled out before he came and finished off facing the hearth to save on later clean up. Once he was done he did up his breeches and went to check on his boy alongside Stoick.
"How do you feel?" Stoick asked seeing as the boy hadn't moved from his place on the table. He carefully touched Hiccup's arm, fearful that they may have done more damage than help. "Hiccup?"
"Hmm?" the boy answered, staring blankly at the timber ceiling. He blinked and glanced at the two men leaning over him.
"Are you alright, son?" his father asked.
Hiccup blinked a few more times. "Yeah…I think so."
"Are you sure?" Gobber double checked, feeling slightly guilty for what he had done and even more so from getting off on it if even a little.
Hiccup looked thoughtful, as if he really had to consider Gobber's words. "Yeah…it felt…different. I don't know. I didn't like it but…" He seemed to struggle with his words. "…not really but it didn't hurt and it did feel kind of good." He lay there for a few more minutes, mentally debating the difference between what happened to him as Dagur's slave compared to what Gobber had just down and he had to admit there was a big difference. Yes, he had been scared when Gobber proposed such a thing and yes, he had nearly grabbed Toothless and ran away but he was happy he didn't. He understood what Gobber had done was to help him and while it might not be the method he would have preferred he was sort of happy he agreed to it.
Nothing changed between them. Gobber was still his mentor and friend and secondary father. He still joked around and tame tall tales that were mostly untrue. He'd gently elbow Hiccup or thwack him over the head when he was doing something wrong but he never made a move on him, never brought up that night. It was like it never happened, just a fond memory of trying to help a dear friend heal a bit, to teach him that regardless of his sexuality he didn't need to fear having sex as long as he found the right partner. It still took time for Hiccup to adjust to normal life again. He could never forget what happened to him but slowly he was able to open himself up again.
Astrid was the first to notice the change and was the first to be able to touch Hiccup without him shying away or panicking. She coaxed him into spending time at the Dragon Academy, first to watch the younger riders and then to teach. Being around the younger kids brought him the rest of the way out of his shell and within a year he was smiling and laughing again. Best of hall he wasn't afraid to hold Astrid's hand or call her m'lady as he used to. They officially began dating before their twentieth birthday. As for intimacy he was still very self-conscious and ashamed of the slave mark, something he would have for the rest of his life. It would take much more time before he came to terms with it and overcame that.
It was also Astrid who finally got him to hang out with their friends again. It was slow at first, a few minutes here and there, until Hiccup felt comfortable to join in discussion he once led.
Healing is a long process and it took years before he overcame his fears. Long years where nightmares sometimes return and certain sights and smells or even words would trigger horrific flashbacks. Long stressful years before he came to terms with everything that happened and realised that it was indeed not his fault, that he had not asked for these horrible things to happen to him and that he had no control whatsoever over the situation. Once he accepted that he finally began to heal and regain his confidence. Once that happened he was Hiccup again.
Fin
Dedicated to the men and women who have been abused, tortured and/or raped and found a way to heal and carry on and especially to my mother whose unconventional method in which she found healing inspired this last chapter and brought life to my siblings, myself and the numerous grandchildren she proudly watches over.