Warning for possible self harm trigger. Rating changed to M.
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6 days earlier
Birds chirped from tree branches, water bubbled from an underground stream nearby and bushes of honeysuckle bloomed outside Elijah's cottage. Located at the edge of a small churchyard in a Swiss village, away from the usual tourist haunts, it was the perfect refuge from the ugliness of Caroline's tasks. Inhaling the fresh air, she reveled in the beauty of nature found on earth. Vastly different than the cold marble and stained glass to be found in heaven; she preferred this. Elijah must too since this is where he sought refuge when not busy with official duties.
Caroline waited at the front door, combing her fingers through her unruly curls in an attempt to neaten them before she knocked. Once more, she wished for her sister Elena's hair, it always hung perfectly straight and orderly no matter how many flights to earth and back she took. Then again, Elena didn't save the damned like she did. Wait. What was wrong with her? Somehow, within seconds, she committed both the sins of vanity and pride.
Biting her lip, she tried not to dwell on her angelic flaws for, that itself, most likely would lead to another sin. About to knock on the oak front door, she was startled when it swung open.
"Caroline." Elijah bowed slightly, greeting her in his usual courteous manner, every inch the business gentleman in his gray, fine cut Italian suit. Without his white angelic robes he could easily pass for human here on earth. "What a lovely surprise."
"How did you know I was here?"
"I can always sense when you arrive."
"You can? How?"
Elijah avoided her gaze, looking beyond her to something in the distance and she considered the idea that for the first time, he wouldn't answer her question.
"It is your presence, your inner light. It is as if the air heats up and the sun brightens when you are near," he answered at last.
"Oh." Caroline scrunched up her nose. "So, basically, I bring a mini heat wave with me every time I visit?"
He chuckled, smiling down at her. "Something like that."
Caroline returned his smile, enjoying the warm glow in his eyes.
The rumble of a car engine in the distance broke their connection and a wary look flickered across his face. ""Where are my manners? Won't you please come in?"
Elijah opened the door wider and Caroline slipped into his cottage. Glancing around the room, she drank in the soothing atmosphere, letting it soak into her. Floor to ceiling shelves overcrowded with ancient books, papyrus and stone tablets covered every inch of the walls except for the space where a large red brick fireplace stood. Like always, a fire danced and crackled in the hearth, the heat lingering over her cool skin. When visiting earth, it often seemed she could never get warm.
"Please sit down. I was just reorganizing these." Elijah rushed to move a stack of leather bound books from the chair closest to the fireplace back to an almost empty shelf. "I know how cold you get."
Caroline gave him a grateful smile, her gaze drifting to his desk while she waited for him to finish. Immaculately organized, papers and parchment were divided into neat piles and in the center sat an oversized ledger book. From the ink pen laid neatly next to it, it appeared up until she arrived he had been recording the status of various souls in his elegant script.
"If you will?" He gestured towards the now empty chair.
"Thank you." Without hesitation, she seated herself, tucking her legs under her white muslin gown. She always enjoyed these little visits surrounded by books and warmth, so different from her chambers in heaven. This was her secret respite from the hustle and bustle of heavenly activity, the disapproving bureaucracy.
"Can I get you some tea?"
"Oh yes, please," Caroline answered, almost clapping her hands in eagerness. Tea was such a treat. A human indulgence she only ever experienced with Elijah. Masking her excitement behind a cool mask of what she thought seemed sophistication she added, "If it is not too much trouble."
"Not at all." Elijah moved towards the small tea table back by his desk where he kept his tea things. "I was about to serve myself some before you arrived."
Noticing two cups and saucers sitting out instead of one, she couldn't stop her curious tongue. "You were expecting someone?"
"I rather hoped you would stop by today to report your progress and I didn't want you to return home to heaven's prying eyes exhausted or without your new assignment." Elijah cupped the side of the blue ceramic teapot with his hand and the water inside instantly steamed and bubbled. "Tell me how things went with Robert Jameson today?"
"He was almost a loss. His soul was blacker than I expected." Caroline shuddered at the memory, how his sins and misdeeds slimed her fingers when she touched his soul. "I didn't think I would find a single redemptive act."
"But, you did." Elijah poured tea from the teapot into a teacup.
"Yes…I found something buried in his childhood to work from. I was very lucky to find it. Still, it took a lot more energy than I expected to purify his soul."
"Luck had nothing to do with it." Elijah held out the cup and saucer for her to take.
Caroline accepted the tea her fingers lightly grazing his.
"It is your —" Elijah halted his speech at the slight touch. He stiffened, yanking his hand from hers as if she burnt him.
Tea sloshed over the sides of the cup to land on the saucer and Caroline held the teacup steady to keep from dropping it. The distraction allowed her to hide her hurt at Elijah's strange reaction to accidentally touching her. Her heart sank at the proof that he saw her the same way as many of the other angels, an anomaly, something unnatural and strange to be avoided.
Elijah quickened his step back to the tea table, pouring his own drink as if nothing upsetting had just happened. "Caroline, none of this would be possible without your blessed gift."
"Curse, you mean," she bit out, cringing at the bitterness in her own voice.
"No!" Elijah exclaimed loud enough, it appeared to surprise him. He took a deep breath before continuing, "You must never think that. Ever. Your light is unlike anything seen before. It is precious and must be treasured. Kept pure."
Her gaze flew to him in surprise. The force with which he spoke, it reminded her of his intense reaction whenever one of the souls he targeted was lost to Hell.
Holding his teacup precariously, Elijah sat down on the chair next to her. "The work we do, I couldn't do it without you. "
"I'm sure you would find someone else."
"No. Caroline." He regarded her somberly from over the rim of his teacup. "Without you, Hell would have claimed 23 very dark souls."
She took a small sip of tea, hoping the heat of the liquid would warm the chills that crawled her spine at the remembrance of all those sins. "I am glad to have helped, but…"
"But?"
"I don't mean to complain and I truly am honored that you chose me for this — it is only that sometimes I wish things were different. My life different."
Puckering his brow, Elijah looked at her with concern. "I'm not sure what you mean?"
"Forgive what I am about to say, but —."
"Please, don't ever ask forgiveness for expressing yourself. I am in no position to judge or offer absolution," he interjected with a deep sigh.
"How can you say that? You spurned the King of Hell, escaping all on your own, to become one of us. To become one of our leaders."
Elijah offered her a small smile. "Is that what they tell of me in heaven?"
"Of course." Caroline leaned forward in her chair, her enthusiasm almost causing her to drop her teacup. "Your story is one of the most inspiring things I have ever heard."
"I hope I never give you reason to think differently."
"That will never happen."
An expression she couldn't read flitted across his face before disappearing. "So tell me, what is it that you think you need forgiveness for?" He blew lightly into the cup of his still steaming tea.
Caroline sat back down in her chair, avoiding his gaze, her index finger lightly circling the rim of her teacup. "Sometimes I dream of leaving heaven. I think about what it would be like to live somewhere else."
"You are an angel. Your home is in heaven."
"But, I don't fit in. I can't play an instrument and I sing like a sick horse and when I am forced into the choir I am bored out of my mind. I don't like to study the angelic records and everything is so strict and formal I sometimes want to scream. And the other angels are so perfect and angelic and I never say or do the right thing."
Taken aback by her outburst, Elijah set his tea and saucer on his knee. "None of that matters," he gently chided. "You are different, special and you cannot expect to find fulfillment in the work others do."
"But I want to. I want to be content and perfect, like Elena."
"Give it time. You're young. Not even a century old. I know if you continue our work purifying the damned you will find peace and happiness."
"But what if I don't?" Caroline squirmed uneasily in her seat. "I hate what I do, sometimes. I shudder with horror when I see the darkness of some of these souls, their evil lives and when I erase their sins, I worry that I lose part of myself."
Elijah stood up abruptly, dumping his teacup on his desk before striding to stand in front of the fireplace.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. " Caroline said, miserable that he couldn't even bear to look at her.
"No, Caroline." He continued to stare deeply into the flames. "I want you to always be honest with me."
The fire crackled and the usual comforting sound did nothing to soothe her inner misery. She had disappointed Elijah, her one good friend besides Elena.
"We wage a Holy War." He turned to face her, his eyes aglow, lit with passion. "It is not enough to bring the innocent to heaven. We need to rescue even the darkest from the clutches of the King of Hell. Every one we save sends a message, one that cannot be ignored. We will bring them all home until Hell is brought to its knees."
"I don't know that I can purify them all."
"You will. Your blessing, your light…" Elijah walked towards her, feline grace in his movements.
Caroline swallowed, hardly breathing as he looked down at her.
"It is our greatest weapon. One that came at the most opportune time."
His fingertips drifted near her cheek in a caress that never quite touched her. "If only things could have been different," Elijah murmured, his hand dropping to his side.
"Elijah?" She hoped in speaking his name, she could break the spell that trapped her friend. Whatever she said, it brought about a different quality in him, a difference in his character she never glimpsed before.
"Caroline. Forgive me. I —."
The strange look in his eyes faded and he shook his head lightly, appearing as if awakening from a dream. Stumbling away from her towards his desk, he gulped down his tea like the act would restore calm.
"There is nothing to forgive. I'm sorry I said anything." Guilt burned a path of destruction through Caroline, nearly causing her tears to fall. Why couldn't she just be happy with the life she had, the work that he gave her?
"Don't be," Elijah said sharply. "It is my fault for putting too much pressure on you, but it is necessary if we are ever to win this war. You understand that?"
It was a reprimand, a reminder of her duty and there could be only one answer. "Of course. I am here to serve."
At her words, he relaxed slightly, "I am very pleased with your work today. You have done remarkably well. Robert Jameson was an especially wicked soul."
"Thank you," she murmured, her cheeks heating at the slight praise.
"I have another difficult case for you. It won't be easy. " He looked down at his desk, scanning his ledger, his finger moving down the page until he found what he wanted. "Alonya Markov is expected to pass soon. You can find her in Moscow."
Caroline finished the rest of her tea. "Of course. I will see to her now." Standing up she moved to place her cup and saucer on the tea table, not giving him the chance to touch her accidentally again. "Thank you for listening to me and the tea."
"Any time. When you are done, go home and get some rest. You will need it."
Holding back a sigh, her guilt piled even higher inside of her. If only she could get him to understand that for her heaven was anything but restful. "I'll do that," she replied taking a longing look at the fire in the hearth.
"Oh, and Caroline?"
"Yes?"
She waited patiently while Elijah messed with the tea pieces, neatening them, straightening them into some pattern she didn't understand until her teacup and saucer sat next to his, nearly touching.
"My door is always open to you and I am here for you. You know that, don't you?" He looked up at her intently.
"Of course I do," she replied, giving him a reassuring smile.
Elijah nodded, pleased with her answer. Stepping away from the tea table, he headed towards the door, holding it open for her. "Good. I will expect you tomorrow night then for your next assignment."
"I will be here."
The door closing behind her, Caroline stepped into the bright sunlight, wishing she could stay a little bit longer to bask in the warmth. Unfortunately, duty called and with a flicker she vanished.
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With a soft swoosh of her wings Caroline arrived in Alyona Markov's home, a small apartment rental located on the outskirts of Moscow. In sharp contrast to Elijah's cottage, cars and buses roared by outside, a young couple shouted at each other down the hall about money and water rushed through pipes in the ceiling. The place was dim, the windows hung with thin, cotton sheets and a brown residue stained the cinder block walls and ceiling. The furnishings consisted of only a chair, table and lumpy mattress on the floor.
The place appeared empty, but Caroline could sense the dying girl, could even hear the slowing of her heartbeat. A cough broke the silence, the lump in the mattress sitting up to reveal Alyonya huddled under a rough, wool blanket. The skeletal body that housed this soul appeared no older than a few years over twenty, but it carried so much pain. Pain that normally took a lifetime to accumulate. Regret, bitterness, sadness and despair seeped from its bones, coating the air with such misery; it crawled over Caroline's skin.
Trying not to shiver, she knelt on the floor next to the dying girl. Alyona turned her head to stare at Caroline. Her hair hung limp and prematurely gray, but her eyes, overly large in her heart shaped face, carried the beauty found in a stormy sea.
"Have you come to take me away?" Alyona choked out in-between violent coughs, not even questioning the strangeness at finding an angel in her apartment.
"Yes," Caroline replied back in Russian, the girl's native tongue.
Alyona fell back unto the mattress. "My father always said there was great beauty to be found in the devil. He was right."
"Devil?"
"But, I will not fight you. I deserve to burn."
Caroline swept back Alyona's thin hair from where it stuck to her cheek. "I am not the devil or even evil. I am sent from heaven, here to keep you from a life of eternity in hell."
"It's too late."
"What do you mean?"
Alyona pointed towards the pill bottle lying next to her on the bed, the cap off.
A suicide. The girl had taken her own life. Now she understood Elijah's warning about this case being difficult. To others, this type of death meant eternal damnation. For Caroline, it meant no matter how black Alyona's soul was, she suffered. Suffered enough, her life no matter meant anything to her. Caroline ached with pity for the poor girl who knew so much pain and more than anything she wanted to keep this soul from Hell's clutches.
"I can still save you."
"Don't. I don't deserve to be saved," Alyona said roughly. With a violent, hacking gag, what was left of the contents of her stomach foamed up in her throat, running out the side of her mouth.
Picking up the corner of the wool blanket, Caroline gingerly wiped the vomit from the girl's lips. "Why do you believe this?"
"I had a son. He would have been three today if not for me."
"Only a baby." A child, when she was practically one herself. "What was his name?"
"Dimitri." Alyona's lashes fluttered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Let me give you peace, help you move on."
Another coughing fit struck the girl, bringing blood bubbling to her lips. "It hurts so bad."
"I know it hurts, dear girl," Caroline whispered, laying her hand on Alyona's chest, right over her heart. "Let me take your pain and cleanse you soul."
With gentleness, she coaxed the soul out to hover above the body of the dying girl. Blessedly, it was not in the condition of Robert Jameson's. Long smudges of black marred its brightness, leaving a gray film, but enough white shown through. Caroline read through the girl's sins, her life. There was little there, except the one act of neglect that brought about Dimitri's death. A misguided accident, it would be easy to expunge, but purifying this soul would still be difficult since it was bathed in sadness, sadness and pain that seemed reluctant to leave.
"Let go of your sorrow. Think of Dimitri, Alyona, how much you loved him. Think of him in your arms once more."
The girl whimpered, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. So near death, yet unable to let go.
Light, sunshine. Alyona needed to know the wonder of this healing gift from nature on her face and limbs, not the dim darkness that seemed to encroach more with every passing second. Maybe then she would feel safe enough to move on.
Caroline rushed to the windows, yanking down the sheets tacked to the walls. Heat burst through the apartment, sending the shadows scurrying in clouds of dust. The sun, as if sensing the importance of the moment, brightened, the rays hitting Alyona.
The poor girl convulsed, once and then twice, but on her face, Caroline could see a glimmer of peace. Once more she knelt in front of her. Taking the girl's fevered hand in her own cool one, she tried to give comfort.
"It's almost over. I promise, you will know happiness again."
It didn't take long. With a sigh, the girl breathed her last.
The soul floated towards Caroline of its own free will, leaving the fading warmth of Alyona's body. It moved slowly and unsure and Caroline stretched her fingers towards it, grazing it with the smallest of touches, summoning the light from deep within herself. Brighter than the sun, the gift Caroline carried - it filled the room with a blinding glory. From the tips of her fingers it streamed into the soul, wiping away the grey and black, bathing it with light and beauty. It trembled with elation at her touch and swooped right into her hands, burrowing between her palms. Caroline closed her hands around it and whispered a gentle prayer for Alyona and Dimitri, hoping that they would meet again soon.
Caroline held her hands to her chest, keeping the soul safe and warm until she could return it to heaven where it would continue to heal, leaving behind the pain of this human world. Rising to her feet, she winced at the sudden heaviness in her own limbs, the dull throbbing in her ligaments. In purifying the soul, Caroline had taken on some of the soul's pain herself and she wondered how Alyona endured such suffering for so long.
She spread her wings, ready to return home once more, when the strangeness struck her. By now the atmosphere should be vibrating and trembling, heralding the arrival of one of Hell's own. They were never far behind her. More than that…it was silent, too quiet. No rumble of traffic or yelling from the young couple nearby and water no longer flushed through the pipes in the ceiling. Caroline's nerve endings screamed at the wrongness of things, a warning she couldn't ignore. Her heartbeat sped up, her pulse pounding in her ears and she waited in dread.
A large shadow, stepped in front of the window, blocking the sun and Caroline gasped. It loomed in front of her, a monstrosity of smoke and blackness she couldn't penetrate with her gaze. There was no blood, heart or lungs that she could see, but she knew they existed. This evil thing, it breathed, its heart beat a rhythm – it lived.
Tendrils of gray swirled towards her, threads of silk that spun a cocoon of delicate lace around her. Her eyes fluttered and she swayed on her feet. A hunger awoke in her, but she didn't know what for. She yearned for something, the forbidden touch of luxury – soft velvet and smooth satin on her skin, the sweetness of chocolate on her tongue, the joy that came from dancing in the rain. Sins. Every one of them.
Heat scorched her from the inside out, flames that licked at her flesh, threatening to devour her. Whatever was in this room, it wanted her, sought to corrupt her. All this for the soul she carried? She tightened her grip on it. The evil thing, it drifted closer, the blackness nearly touching her. Terrified, she flicked her wings, speeding from the room, from earth and straight for the safety of heaven.
Klaus smiled widely at the soft murmur followed by a spat of coughing and gagging coming from outside Alyona's apartment door. The human wasn't dead yet, the soul still intact. Since the cursed angel always managed to appear before the dying breathed their last, he left Hell immediately upon receiving Alyona Markov's name. He wouldn't wait until the very end to arrive like Finn did. He would catch the angel in the act of stealing Hell's soul and then he would see exactly how much torture the heavenly creature could take before they broke.
Slinking into a gray, hazy mist, he slipped under Alyona's door and into her apartment. Building himself back up to his full height, orange rays of sun nearly blinded him and he curled his black-feathered wings around himself. Biting back an oath, he scuttled into the shadows in the corner of the room. A movement by the mattress caught his attention and he focused his gaze, glimpsing a blur of gold and white.
The angel.
Klaus blinked, the radiant light before him morphing into a young woman. Glorious to behold, her skin pale and creamy, her eyes the blue of an early evening sky and her long hair, the spun gold from a fairytale. The familiar fragrance of lilies, gardenias and jasmine assaulted his nostrils.
It was she, his thief.
She walked towards the window with queenly grace, her white gown highlighting every curve of her lithe form. Lust ripped through him, his body tightening, hardening as she came closer to him. Never before had he been this close to something so pure, so beautiful and he wanted nothing more than to corrupt and defile the innocence that clung to her.
He moved towards her, mesmerized, wanting to caress that white skin, tangle his hands in her hair and tug her luscious mouth to his. Klaus wanted to devour her, snuff out the light she carried with every thrust he made between her legs. Forget the soul she carried, he wanted her.
She paused, stood perfectly still and lifted her head, a lamb sensing the lion. She knew he was here.
Klaus swore violently as the angel vanished into the skies, a rapid flutter of wings. Finding her again, catching her, now was as important to him as taking the souls. He would have them both. The damned where they belonged and she stuck in hell, at his mercy. The thought brought a fresh wave of heat crashing into him. For now, he would watch her. Instead of Finn, he would be there at the deathbed of each soul, until he could set a trap and drag her down to his home.
It wouldn't be long, he promised himself, until she belonged to him.
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Thanks to the fabulous klovec and To be loved is to be destroyed for the beta work. Thanks also to everyone for reviewing. It is much appreciated.