Um, this is awkward, and I know I haven't updated in forever...

But I felt like anyone who clicked on this deserves an explanation to why I haven't been writing.

So, when I first started reading on here, it felt like magic. I had finally found something that combined two of my favorite things:

Reading and MineCraft.

Yeah, kinda cliche, but it's true.

I read sappy skylox's, fast paced adventures, and even some scary horrors.

Geez though, some of you can really write. (Pointing at you Hannah! All of these basically go towards Games. That squid part... *shivers*)

Anyway, I was looking through a profile (no idea what it was this was a year or so ago) and saw the title "Sing Me to Sleep" and was instantly in love. Unfortunately, it was not a minecraft book, but a "The Guardians" fanfic. You know, the movie with the Australian Easter bunny?

Anyway, I really wanted to write a story with that and had it all planned out. The main character was going to be Jason for whatever reason, and he was going to be talked to and kidnapped by this dream person and then yada-yada-yada he's saved hooray happiness.

And me being an idiot had an account that had my real name, Erin.

So I didn't want to use that name.

I didn't realize that I could change it and made a completely new email address just to have a story.

Yeah. I'm an idiot.

And with that I claimed to be Caroline, which is what I was supposed to be named but my dad disagreed and one thing led to another but now I'm here!

So I wrote the prologue on my iPod and uploaded it a day later. The minecraft archives weren't add popular as they are now so I got a lot of views, very quickly.

This made me happy and all but then things like reviews started dropping and I had less time to write and it made me feel horrible.

I would just write simple short chapters and get them out as fast as I could and still feel horrible even though I never got a single "flame."

So soon I just burnt out, tired by all the emotional stress that school, ex-friends and my own self-confidence gave me, so I stopped updating and feel into deep depression. A horrible, depression.

Then I realized I haven't updated in over 2 months and freaked out and pumped out something that wasn't even close to a drabble in terms of length, it was that short.

Then I got a review from my current best friend, orchidlover, Orchid, Jackie, or as I know her, BUDDA.

It was simply a few questions and I responded.

Soon we started talking and blah blah blah now we're friends!

Best friends, even though we live across an ocean.

But she started to lift me out of my depression and that's when school started again.

Yeah. School.

School was horrible for me as I just kept wanted to pump out chapters and stuff so I would ignore my homework until the middle of the night where I would try to finish it giving me this horrible thing called insomnia.

(Guess what time it is while I'm writing this? I'll give you hint. It's an hour past 12AM.)

And I couldn't sleep so I did homework but it made me horribly tired during the school day.

And then we throw in a thing called fake friends.

So I met this girl who was really kind, and talked me out of orchestra at the end of the year, which is a giant regret. She claimed we'd never be able to see each other in school again the next year if I didn't.

And guess what?

She called me last week and said "Guess what? I'm joining orchestra again!"

So yeah.

Anyway, back to the story.

I kept sinking back down into this deep bottomless pit of depression and I just kept falling and I'm still falling to this day.

And there's all these ideas inside of me but the party of my brain that lives to write has just... shut down.

I just can't make myself write because it's horrible and I keep thinking how disappointed you'll be in me if I don't update UNNAMED but I don't want to update UNNAMED and I'm thrown into this endless cycle that ends up with me not doing anything.

And you know what? It scares me.

People all ask "What do you want to pursue when you are an adult?"

And my answer used to be, "I want to write."

But now it's "I don't know."

And this scares me because what if I never find what I'm good at? The only thing I can do better that normal is write but that's crap too!

It's just...

Ah...

Never mind.

You don't want to know my life story anyway.

I just wanted to say that it's very unlikely I'll update again and I'm sorry for that...

I've just lost the compassion for what I loved to do before...

I'm just a shell.

I'm just nothing now.

And you can go on and say things like how great I am but I'll never take them to heart unless someone like my mom says them...

Yeah, pathetic but I think she doesn't trust me and that I'm her least favorite child out of all so...

If she says she was proud of me then I could die happy.

Hah...

Yeah...

Well...

That's my crappy explanation...

Sorry...

Hope to see you soon.

I probably won't be answering my PMs and

(this part is for Jackie)

Jackie don't you dare Skype message me because my mom will see and probably ban me from talking to you since she doesn't like how you live far away in the first place so she's not gonna like it if I told you this and not her.

(Ok continue)

But... ok.

Goodbye, I guess...

These last few years have been amazing, and I thank you all so much for reading.

I love you all~ Erin