Raphael

I want to run across the rooftops until I find someone to fight. But I can't. At the very least I want to run until I'm exhausted. But I can't do that either. I love my family but at the same time they bind me. Every decision I make affects them and I can't just do what I want anymore. So I'm pacing a rooftop near the lair trying to sort this shit out.

I don't mind a fight and I like it even better when Zoe's by my side. She's a great partner. At first I thought to keep her away from any kind of danger, but she's been fighting as long as I have and it becomes part of you. Probably not a good thing, but we've embraced who we are. Besides, someone's always trying to kill us, tear us apart from each other, or haul us off to some lab to study us. We have to fight, to survive. So in the end I decided to take her with me and she never let me down.

But Antonello has been lonely and it's weighed on our hearts. So we decided to try for another baby in hopes of a boy. No sooner does she tell me she's pregnant when Don tells us there's unusual activity in New York, people disappearing, sightings of people that look like they're half animal, an increase in Foot activity. They're looking for her again, so my brothers and I started making trips back to keep the fight here. We don't want them to find the farmhouse. We'd have no place left to go.

Shit. I have to get her back to the farm before someone finds her. She scared the shit out of me leaving the lair like she did. I'm glad we're bonded and I can find her anywhere, and until she'd shut if off if she was hurt I could feel that too. It had sucked when she was in labor with Andrea, but she quickly realized I would be more useful if I didn't share in her labor pains and managed to shut if off until Drea' made her appearance.

It figures, the one time we decide to have a baby on purpose and it goes all fucking wrong.

Three. Three. Three. I rub my face and keep pacing. "I can't believe this." It would be awesome for Anton to have three brothers to grow up with, but not at the cost of Zoe's life. A life she is so ready to lay down to give them to him. I hate this feeling. This choking, can't breathe, lump in my throat, stomach in knots feeling. I need to beat someone up. Bad.

She was right when she said I was going to put up a shield and treat her like she was already dead. It was impulsive and I was ready to do it. I need to protect my… heart. If I just expect the worst, by the time it happens I will be used to the feeling already. Then I can continue to function for our kids.

My knees feel weak and my chest hurts.

Zoe is my base. She keeps me grounded, and more level-headed than I've ever been in my life. But at the same time any risk that befalls her threatens to break me. She won't change her mind. We all know that. Once she's made a decision and spoken it, it will be. The only thing left to do once she's gone there is to get behind her and support her. Can I support her in something that might kill her?

"Wouldn't be the first time she's forced me to do just that," I say to myself.

I stare out at the New York City skyline, watching it grow lighter with the threat of daybreak. Jesus, who else in the world sees a sunrise as a threat?

I have to go home. I have to beat this fear out of me, I need a workout. I will be there for her and do what I can. Fuck. This is so out of my hands. I can't protect her from this. The only thing I can do is help her and I feel like I'm helping her die. Fuck. "I hope you can pull off a miracle Donnie." Well if anyone could, it'd be him… or Zoe. "I've got to go home."

Zoe

I miss our red blanket. It's still at the farmhouse. Since this trip wasn't planned I didn't get to bring it with me. I've opted for two other comforts in the absence of Raphael and the favored blanket. I piled on Andrea and Antonello. We don't usually let them sleep with us unless they've had a nightmare but I need some kind of comfort and they are happy to oblige.

I breathe in Drea's heavenly, clean baby scent. She's two, but still smells like a new baby to me. It's euphoric and soothes me all the way through to my heart. Every inhale of her hair just makes me want to cuddle her even tighter. She's just beautiful. They say she looks like me, but I've never considered myself beautiful. Although Andrea does have my red hair, her eyes are blue instead of my gray. She's a sassy and chatty little girl, who's drooling in her sleep. I smile, breathing her in once again.

Antonello has draped himself across my legs, using them as his pillow. He's gotten so big already. I lift my chin and look down at the back of his emerald green head and stroke his carapace. He's a sweet boy but he has a fiery temper and a short fuse. We work hard to help him manage it. It's not as if we don't have a lifetime of experience dealing with our own, but when you're young it's hard to contain yourself. It's especially difficult for Anton because he's the only one like him and he knows it. His father and uncles do everything they can to help him, but what can you say? It's a hard truth and a terrible burden for someone so young… No, you can't go make friends with the girl at the farm down the street, and no you can't go to the store with Mommy or your aunts. His whole world is filled with 'no's' that no other child would have to endure. And there's plenty of no's that every child should hear, but the one's Anton is dealing with, they aren't. Raph moved us to the farmhouse so Anton could feel the sun on his face, so he could go outside during the day and it forced me to reflect on what Raph's childhood must've been like hidden in the sewers. But at least he had his brothers. I suddenly feel the desperate urge to hold Antonello in my arms but I won't risk waking either of them.

The bedroom door cracks open and I see Raph slip in. He stands over us and I reach a hand up to him, my heart aching to ease his hurt. He slips his fingers around mine and I whisper, "Come on Big Guy."

He takes off his knee and elbow pads, utility belt and mask, and slips in bed behind me. He runs his fingers over Drea's hair then touches his son's carapace. Finally he kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry I left." His lips are to my ear and his voice resonates throughout me whirling inward and settling in the middle of my chest.

"It's okay. I understand."

"Zoe, if you're going to do this… and I know you are-" His voice cracks and he swallows, "I'm here for you."

I lean into his plastron, turn my head to look in his eyes, and with my free hand stroke his cheek.

He leans down and kisses me ever so gently first on my lips and then again on my forehead.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I want to go down steps. I want to go down steps." Andrea's sweet voice is nice to wake up to, but it's insistent and she expects immediate results.

I groan.

"Mommy, I want to go down steps. I want to go down steps Mommy." She puts her chubby hands on my face and pokes on my eyelids, "I want to go-"

"Okay, okay Drea', gees." I pull her hands from my face and open my eyes. Raph and Antonello are both gone.

"Where's Daddy and Anton?" I ask her.

"Don't know. Maybe they're down steps. I want to go down steps. Mommy, I want to go-"

"Shhh, I heard you. We'll go down in just a minute." I move her to the side and climb out of the bed. I grab a diaper from the drawer of the nightstand and change her quickly, then pop her on my hip, pause in the hall bathroom to wash my hands, and head for the stairs.

Donatello was on his way up and takes her from me, "Don't carry them up and down the stairs. And don't pick Antonello up at all."

I open my mouth to protest but he's ahead of me.

"You promised Zoe."

I roll my eyes and sigh, "Fine. She wants to go downstairs."

"Fine," he snaps back at me.

I head straight for the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

When I reach the kitchen, April is sitting at the table holding Rachel.

"Can I please see that beautiful girl? I'm the only one who hasn't met her yet." I smile at my friend and take a seat next to her.

Mike and Exodus are floating around making breakfast.

"Mornin Z." They chirp together.

"Good morning you two," I smile at them.

"Of course you can hold her Zoe. Here," She hands the newborn over to me and I all but squeal.

"April she's gorgeous!" I take in her red hair, brown eyes and little opening and closing mouth. She really is perfect.

"Thanks, she's really good so far too." April takes a glass of orange juice from Exodus and looks at me.

"What's going on with you and Raph, and why is Donatello so involved in it?"

I shake my head, "You don't know?"

"No. None of us do." April looks at Exodus who glances at Mike, who's intently flipping pancakes and I suspect that he, at least, does.

I look around and realize I haven't seen Raph, Anton, Leo or Karai. "Where is everyone and where did Donnie go with my daughter?"

"They're in the dojo. We're supposed to have a family meeting after breakfast. Everyone else already ate." Mike munches on a piece of bacon, then tosses several pancakes on a plate and hands it to X.

"Did Drea' eat while I was in the bathroom?" I rub my eyes and take the plate Exodus offers me.

"Don made her a plate and took it in the dojo with her." Exodus answered me, sitting down to inhale her breakfast.

I smile widely at her, "I heard rumor that you and Karai…"

Exodus long blond hair hung freely down her back, she shoved a stray lock out of her eyes and blushed, "Yeah, pretty amazing huh?"

"I'd say so. I'm so happy for you both." I glance at my orange clad brother who can't help himself.

"I'm so pumped! This is going to be awesome! We'll have a bunch of kiddo's running around here… or the farmhouse… It's going to be so much fun!" He has a mountain of pancakes on his plate as he slides into a chair next to Exodus and proceeds to devour them.

I bite my lip. Is he nuts? It was crazy enough when it was just the four of them and three of us girls. It was great when we brought Exodus home and they hit it off, like I knew they would. We had Anton before that and he was a handful by himself. There's nothing not chaotic about our family. The fact that we all will have our individual families within it and still live together, that's unheard of. And there's only one true human among us, Karai, who has a story all her own, one that I've yet to get out of her. Come to think of it we all have a story to tell. Hell even April is half mutant.

"Uh-Zoe?" April nudges me gently and I sit back up and hold Rachel closer.

"Oh my God, April did I fall asleep holding her?" I hand the baby over to her and stand up quickly.

"No, you were just dozing off. Are you okay?" She takes the now sleeping newborn, her blue eyes appraising me.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I pick up my plate and set it on the kitchen counter.

"You hardly ate anything Zoe." Mike protests as he took his, Exodus and April's plates to the sink behind me.

"It'll be fine Mike." I rub my eyes. "I could really use a cup of coffee."

"No you couldn't. No caffeine." Donatello has slipped in, taking Rachel from April while he barks at me. "Come on, we're ready."

April, Mike and X slip out of the kitchen while Donatello waits back for me.

"Stop biting my head off Donatello. I'm not a criminal." I motion for him to go.

"You're right, you're not. I gave Raph a list of what you should not do. I did some research and you're probably going to be fine until twenty weeks. From there it's going to get harder."

"Don, can you just try to relax? We have some time."

He doesn't say anything, and we make our way into the dojo where our family is all sitting on the floor.

I look straight at Karai and grin. She looks back at me and rolls her eyes. I take a seat between her and Raph. Leonardo is playing with Anton and he looks at me as I sit down. He knows. I can tell just from looking at him. The four of them have probably met with Splinter and already talked about everything we're getting ready to discuss. Hell they've probably already made all of the decisions and we're pretty much just being informed.

Raph is trying to get pancake syrup from Andrea's face with a baby wipe and she's screaming.

"Stop it! I do it myself! I do it myself!" She keeps pushing his hand away and he's laughing at her.

"You missed a spot Drea', stop. Let me get it off!" He tickles her ribs, when she starts to giggle he swipes her face, then she screams again. He's finally satisfied with the lack of sticky mess and drops the baby wipe onto her half eaten plate and slides it against the wall behind us.

"Good morning." I smile at him.

He reaches out, wrapping a huge arm around me. He pulls me close, kisses my cheek, but says nothing.

"Okay, everyone settle down." Leo stands up and we all grow quiet. Splinter has let Leo lead us completely on his own for several years now. The boys consult with their father privately about anything major and Leo always presents us with their decisions.

"Settle down!" Antonello echoes his uncle, and Leo smiles at him.

"Thanks Buddy."

"Settle down Uncle Leo!" Drea stands up at points her finger at him, placing one hand on her hip.

At this point Raph and I are trying not to laugh but Mike and Exodus are rolling.

"Right. Okay, thanks Andrea. I'm settled." Leo laughs, "Okay so it's been a busy two weeks. As crazy as it sounds we've all been here, but not in the same room at the same time, and we have a lot to talk about." Leo looks at Karai who rolls her chestnut eyes.

"Please Leo, everyone knows. Can we move on to some real news?" Karai leans back and they engage in a battle of wills, with only the exchange of a look.

"Karai and I are having a baby," Leo says anyway, unable to contain the grin on his face.

Mike whoops and Exodus cheers. Donatello looks exhausted. April and I are smiling at our friend who is shifting uncomfortably under all of the attention. She glares daggers at Leo who can only smile back at her.

"And so are Mike and Exodus," Leo continues.

Now Exodus is blushing as we all congratulate them.

"And Raph and Zoe are expecting triplets."

The room falls silent and I want to crawl under a mat.

"Are you serious?" Exodus, Karai and April say at the same time.

I bury my face into Raph's arm. "Kill me now." I mutter.

"Oh you're doing just fine at that by yourself." He says coolly.

I lean back and glare at him, "Fuck you Raphael."

He looks at the punching bag across the room and I realize that it's busted. Really? When did he do that?

"So wait. Are you sure?" April's eyes dart over me then fall on Donatello, "That's what you're so upset about." She gets to her feet as Donnie looks at me. "Zoe, most triplet births are caesarean. How?" She's crossing the floor and coming to stand over me. "Zoe!"

"Wait. Are you saying?" Karai looks at me, then April, and gets to her feet.

"What? What am I missing?" Exodus' voice raises an octave and she gets to her feet, coming to stand over me too.

"Jesus, everybody calm down. I feel fine!" I stand up and look my best friends, my sisters, in their eyes.

"Yeah right now you do. What's it going to be like in a couple weeks?" April grabs my arm.

I stiffen, but try to contain my emotions, "April, let me go."

She complies, but her normally bright blue eyes are shadowed in fear.

"Look here's the truth of the matter girls. Any one of you could need a c-section. I'm not the only one. And you never know everything could go just fine." I look them each in the eye and end with April.

April scoffs, "Are they girls?"

I stare at her. I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I despise it.

"Zoe, are they girls? It's a simple question." She's not backing down, and considering that it's me she's challenging, she must be really worried.

I look away from her.

"They're boys then." She nods her head, "How many of them are boys?"

My eyes narrow.

"Fuck Zoe!"

I look at her, "Everybody, stop! I haven't committed a crime. I've done nothing wrong. The only thing I've done is say that I'm having these babies. That's it. Nothing else. I haven't harmed anyone. I've done nothing to shame myself. I won't be treated like a villain for the next seven months!"

"It's more likely to be five." Donatello states.

April's eyes fill with tears, "Zoe."

"Stop, April, seriously. Just. Stop." I look away from her and feel a lump rising in my own throat. I hate it that everyone is so upset. Why can't they get behind me in this? Don't they understand?

"Well as shocking as that is there's more." Leo, for once, is my reprieve.

The girls turn to face him, "What?" they seem surprised.

"Baxter Stockman and Isaac Shelton have united to try to capture the freed hybrids and are looking for Zoe and Exodus again. They've hired The Foot to help find them. We've known for a couple weeks. It's why we started making more frequent trips here." Leo looks at us then glances to his brothers and they nod.

"What's going on?" I sense that a plan has been devised and we are about to be informed of it.

"We are trying to pinpoint their new base. It doesn't appear to be the same lab you girls came from. Once we find the base we're going to destroy it. But we've decided we have to focus on our family right now. So we're going back to the farmhouse. We'll keep training and just have to monitor it from there. Once all the babies have arrived… We need you girls back in training. This is a family fight and we need all hands. We're going to shut them down once and for all."

That plan doesn't sound bad to me at all, except for one thing… "Uh, Leo who's going to watch eight kids while we all run off to battle?"

"That's why we're having this meeting. We could really use everyone but if any of you don't want to do this, you can choose not to…"

"I have cousins." April looks at Leo. He opens his mouth to protest but she shakes her head. "Leo, I trust them. I will call them and they will come watch the kids till we finish this."

"How many cousins do you have, eight kids is a lot!" Exodus glances at April.

"X, do you want to stay behind?" I ask her, knowing that she hates to fight. That was the focal point of her training with Mike. Overcoming her instinct to flee and control it, and with his help, of course she succeeded.

She regards me with a determined expression on her face, "No. I understand, we really need to finish this and if I'm capable, I want to help."

"I've got three cousins that live together in Florida. I will call them now so they can wrap their heads around everything." April looks in Leo's concerned blue eyes.

"You're sure you can trust them?" He asks her.

"They're my cousins Leo, the only biological family I have left. The truth is they already know about you guys. I had to come clean when I got pregnant. I wasn't sure if we were having a turtle or a human baby, I had to prepare them. They want to meet Rachel anyway."

Leo nods, "It's settled then. Family first. War second. We go home tonight."

When Raph, Mike and Don get to their feet, I know the meeting is over.