Zoe

As Raphael lunges for Ansgar I leap between them, throwing my arms out in a T to keep them apart.

Raph's hands cling in fists at his sides as his green eyes lock on my old friend. A glance in the panther hybrids direction has his eyes shifted to golden slits with razor sharp claws stemming from his semi-closed hands.

"A turtle, Zoe?" Ansgar smiles revealing his pearly canines, "You mean to tell me that your measly fraction of sea turtle DNA bent you to his will?"

A snarl erupts from Raph and he shifts his weight, ready to duck around me and rip into Ansgar.

I turn toward the panther, "Ans, you and I are old friends. You don't know my mate, Raphael. Raph this is one of my oldest friends Ansgar. I can tell you guys don't like each other and that's understandable, but I value both of you and it would really suck if one of you killed the other." I glance at Raph who never looks away from his target, then I shift my focus to Ansgar, "And I don't want to hurt any of your big cat pride, but Raph will win. So let's not go there."

"You told him we were just friends Zoe. Really? Just friends?" Ansgar scoffs, "I can see from your expression that you never told him about me at all. I wonder what else he doesn't know." He gives a cursory nod in the direction of the other three turtles standing behind their brother, then speaks to Karai, "See ya later Rai." Glancing in my direction with lustful eyes and a conniving smile, his honey smooth voice drifts toward me, "Zoe, visit again soon okay? Once you-"

Ansgar doesn't get to finish as Raph grabs and flings me into Leo then lands a punch to Ansgar's face that sends him flying into the wall.

Leo steadies me and I quickly rebound, leaping in between Raph and Ansgar before Raph decides to finish him off. With one hand on Raph's plastron, and a fierce electric shock running up through my arm, I glare at Ansgar, "You're provoking him Ansgar and while I know that you know that, I also know something you don't." I lean over to look him in the eye, "He will win means you will die. Please stop."

Ansgar spits out a mouthful of blood and smiles, "I want on your team."

Raph steps forward putting more pressure on my outstretched palm.

"That's not a come-on Big Guy. I think he's serious." I watch Ansgar rub his jaw and shift his weight as if to get up. When I shake my head 'no' he stops moving and I tell him, "I wouldn't get up yet if I were you. It's probably best if you just stay down, until we talk things over. I'll be in touch." With that I turn to face my teeth baring lover, "Raph, let's go."

Raphael doesn't move.

"Hey! Look at me," I shift my hand from his plastron up toward his cheek but I can't quite reach it, "Raph, look at me."

Slowly, Raphael's gaze shifted down to meet mine and my heart hurts for the confusion staring back at me.

"I love you. Not him. Now, let's go."

Raph wraps an arm around my waist, scooping me up before marching past his brothers and Karai to carry me up the fire escape. He doesn't put me down when we reach the top. It isn't until he's sure we are far away from everyone and completely alone. When he sets me on my feet I recognize the rooftop of my old apartment building.

He stands over me, crosses his arms over his plastron. "This is where it all began Z. Is this where it's gonna end?"

It feels like he's just knocked the wind out of me with his bleak outlook, but at the same time a heat jolts through my blood and I find myself rolling my eyes. "Could you be more dramatic Raphael?"

His jaw shifts, "Don't Zoe, don' you do anythin' but tell me the truth. What the hell was that?"

My shoulders slump and I heave a sigh. "It's complicated Raph."

"No it ain't, were you with him? Did you lie to me?" His eyes narrow into icy green slits and there's a hint of menace to his voice that I've not heard in years.

The damn walls are up.

"You don't understand and I can't- you're not really going to hear anything I say when you're all hyped up and guarded like this."

"Bullshit!" he roars, "Let me make it simple for ya, did the two of you fuck or not?"

My hands ball into fists and my simmering blood rises to a rolling boil. "Fuck you Raphael."

He leans over so we are eye to eye. "No, I know what we've done, I'm askin' about him, and you ain't givin' me a straight answer."

My lip trembles, "What about you? I asked you if you were a virgin, years ago, and you never answered me, but I didn't push for it, because in the end it didn't matter."

"Well not answerin' and lyin' are two different things," he hisses.

I stick my face even closer to his, letting him know I won't be intimidated. "I shouldn't have to answer that Raph. Why don't you think back to the night we made our son and rehash the details? I should knock you the fuck out for even implying that I'd lied to you. And by the way, I want an answer to the question I asked you five years ago since all of the sudden it matters so fucking much!"

"I want to hear you say it Zoe." As his eyes search me I catch a glimpse of what he's really struggling with, for only a brief second, but it's enough for me to understand and more than enough to tame my rage.

With shaking fingertips I raise my hand to stroke his cheek and he growls, his hand flying up to land over mine and still me. "Say it Z, I need to hear ya say it."

I close my eyes, trying to stop the resentment that wants to rise up and fight with him. His question hurts me, I'm insulted, and yet he's scared, terrified that he's trusted me, loved me and built a family with me, based on lies.

"There was blood on your sheets Raph, proof that you were my first. I did not lie to you. I was a virgin. I love you. I've always loved you and only you. I've never been with another, I don't want another and I have no plans for another. Just you."

His eyes soften, became glossy then close as he releases my hand which I use to pull him down toward me more, so I can press my forehead to his mask. His voice comes out in a low whisper, "I was too."

My head jerks back, "What?"

He straightens, rubs his hand over the back of his mask then cracks his neck, "You heard me."

A small grin plays on the corners of my mouth, which I quickly remove. I still have explaining to do and the current topic makes my sensitive guy uneasy. "Excuse me, but you just made me spell it out for you, even though you had evidence the night it happened, and I'm not supposed to be offended or hurt by any of this, so I'd like it Raphael," I reach out and take his hand, pulling him toward me, "if you came down here, looked me in the eye and said it. I need to hear you say it."

He groans, chews on his cheek as he leans over and looks me in the eye, "I was a virgin too. There ya happy?"

I brush his cheek with my lips, "Yeah, Big Guy, it's a little hard to believe, but I'm happy."

"Well it's true and the point was you weren't supposed to be able ta tell. I just did what felt good and seemed ta make you feel good. Since neither of us were pros, I felt a little better about it."

Something occurs to me and I feel a great swell building within before I double over laughing.

The green of Raph's cheeks darkens, "What the fuck Zoe?"

"Raph, we, two inhuman, genetic anomalies, made a baby the first time either of us ever had sex. What the fuck, is absolutely right!" I try to stop but my eyes water. As I wipe away the tears and look at him, I'm relieved to find he has a small smile on his face.

"Are you about done?"

I pout, "You're no fun."

"And you're a barrel of laughs." He shakes his head, "so tell me about this guy, cas' there's obviously something goin' on."

Instantly I'm subdued.

"He was my perfect genetic match, supposed to be my long term mate, after they'd used me with the elites at the lab. He was on a stealth team, lead it actually. They were always in the field and needed him. It was expected that when I had delivered the offspring of the last male on the elite team and he finished whatever mission he was on that we would be permanently paired off. My body was literally made for him. We have almost identical strands of DNA and except for his panther to my cheetah, everything else is the same," I hesitate, but I can tell from the hurt in Raph's eyes he already knows, "And we have chemistry. My body responds to him, whether I want it to or not."

"You want him."

"I don't want him, my body…"

He holds up a hand, "Don't."

"Raph-"

"Zoe," he shakes his head, "Are you going to leave me with five kids?"

"Raph," I rub my hands over my face, "are you serious? What is going on with you? We're more solid than this."

"No, I mean you're the woman I love, that I've given my heart to, gave my everything, the woman I can't live without and I have a family with-" his frown hurts to look at, but the tears in his eyes rip me apart, "and you're attracted ta him."

My lip trembles and I blink furiously to see through the water gathering in my eyes, "But I'm bonded to you and you are all of those same things for me."

He doesn't move for a while, he just keeps looking at me, with his mask all bunched up, a heart-wrenching frown on his face.

"Raph, you have to trust me until I give you a reason not to. That's how things work. It's-" I want to say, scary, but knowing how he will react I opt for a different word, "unsettling. But it's part of being in a relationship."

"Are you gonna give me a reason not to?"

My shoulders lift and drop as I sigh and let my head fall back. I peer into the dismal night sky trying to figure out a way to both bring him comfort, and let Ansgar be a part of our team, then I realize it isn't going to be a peaceful undertaking no matter how I go about it. Taking a deep breath I set my gaze back on him, "You have to stop. I know it's hard. But nothing has happened and I won't be made to feel horrible for things I haven't done and what my body does thanks to what I am. We have five children Raphael and an incredible bond that I believe is unbreakable. The question is do you believe it? You're awful quick to doubt and maybe you need to think about that." I run my fingers down his enormous bicep as I walk toward the fire escape, "Now come on, we need to get home. I'm sure Hisao is driving X and the others crazy."