A/N Argh! I apologize sincerely. Here is another chapter. I suck, lately. Feeling quite the remorse. I'm getting my life together, I swear. ;) I love you all so much for the kind words. Hope this is filling. I'm not giving up on this, just been a bit...distracted. (Hits submit and closes eyes). In the meantime, GO USA. World Cup Final tonight-yes, shamelessly cheering my girls on! Please let me know what you think and know that I am right here, continuing.

Chapter 7 PM…S…ing

It was as if there was a death of a straight girl.

Beca slouched at her desk. There was no longer anyone 'at home' upstairs. She stared at her wall, for a good bit of time. Perhaps the white wall cleared her mind. Perhaps it paralyzed her mind. Why was there a little crack in the wall? Had that always been there? Where did it start? How much money was going into this dorm? Who is responsible for the upkeep? Why the fuck does she care? Oh right she got to stay for free. Yay dad. That asshole.

Pull your shit together.

But how could she? Never mind the fact that she just pulled an all-nighter after an all…day…er…? with Chloe. She was tired. Yes. She was sleep-deprived. Absolutely. She was probably seeing things. She probably misinterpreted what this person meant. She was probably being dramatic because she had just spent a wonderful day in the rain with best friend. Chloe was just a very forward, affectionate, GIRL. Girls can be lovey-dovey with their best friends.

Beca can't be lovey-dovey. She wanted to punch herself in the face for nearly saying that term out loud. Beca didn't have feelings like that. That wasn't her.

DENIAL

"Why do you say that? I'm just a fan of this Ship like everyone else on here. Thank you for the encouragement."

Beca hit send and rolled her eyes. She needed to get some sleep. Whoever this was, they could wait. Her story could wait. Her boyfriend could wait—they had plans for breakfast after all. The brunette decided to close her laptop, and crawl into her small single bed and simply sleep as long as she wanted to this morning. Little did she know, sleep would not come for her.

What inspiration lately? I've been in to Andrea and Emily ever since I saw the movie! Just because I haven't updated in a while doesn't mean anything different. Oh really Beca? That's where you are going to jump to right now? I was just in a better mood or something. If you're happy, you're more likely to get out something fun and creative, right? What about the dark and depressed that create painful works of art that become like super famous? What about being so pissed off you create a killer dance mix? Nope. I was happy and I am sticking to that logic. Chloe is a bubbly person. She is very sweet. She makes me feel better. Yes, she is not bad to look at. So what? Wait, it doesn't make sense that I'm even bringing Chloe up. This messenger doesn't know me. They don't know Chloe. Why am I still fucking thinking Chloe?! I don't like her like that. How could blackwhiteandRED think that my Fan Fiction is led by person or a crush? That's stupid. Some creeper on the Internet that's all. Pay them no mind. Least they complimented your work. They probably just want you to talk dirty to them. Girl on girl is hot. –In general. Not to me personally. I really just write for the fans. Sweet, now you're a contradiction. FUCK MITCHELL.

ANGER

Beca's eyes shot open. She raised her hands to her face. She turned right around to her work desk and grabbed her computer yet again. She popped it right back open and went right to her PM box. No new messages. It had been a good 2 minutes, at least. Why was it taking so long for RED? Beca opened a new message to compose.

"You know what? Actually? I don't think I can accept your review. It seems more like an accusation, rather than an objective critique. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think I can let something like that go. I am just a fan like the rest of us here. If you really think something, sack up dude, just say it."

Beca hit send, and felt like it sent even faster to the other person because of how hard she hit the button. Beca bit down on her bottom lip and reviewed the contents on her screen. She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She was truly starting to wig out. She moved her computer away from her lap and over on to the other side of her bed. She left the screen open, however, and remained signed in. The glow from her computer beamed over her face as she slid her hands under her pillow—her fists, rather—and curled into a little ball. She stared at her PM Box, receiving no notifications.

"That chick is crazy." Beca mumbled to herself.

Beca's eyes grew heavy once more. She realized she was starting to give in to her exhaustion—her anger subsiding a bit. When she finally seemed to close her eyes for a moment, perhaps it was for several minutes, she couldn't tell, her box lit up with that number 1. Her entire body jolted up.

blackwhiteandRED:

"You seem so tense. Do you need a backrub?"

Beca was about to cut a bitch.

"In every single place I can think of and or imagine…this is considered harassment."

And so it began. The two typists seemed engaged in quite a chat now.

blackwhiteandRED:

"Relax. I am just giving you a hard time. Actually, I'm not. I think you're completely in love with the other woman in your story. Sorry. If you can't handle the critique, don't publish for all the world to see. But really, I didn't mean to upset you. I really hope you keep writing this."

Beca was at a loss.

"Okay. Fine. I'll bite. Why do you think I am so in love with a fictional character? Am I that obsessive fan? Making shirts and shit?"

The small DJ could not wait to hear this.

blackewhiteandRED:

"Not a fictional character. You're in love with the girl inspiring you. Thus making a kick ass story to read! ;)"

That wink was really pushing Beca over the—

"Chloe uses winks all the time. It's just as aggravating." Beca ended up saying this out loud. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand. No one was even around to hear her, yet she was startled and quickly "hushed" herself.

BARGAINING

You think about her so much. You really do. To be fair, you have spent more time with her. You haven't really seen much of Jesse. That's got to be. I'll just make more time for Jesse. I will make more time to spend with him. Then maybe I will end up writing a killer Romeo and Juliet type story. You don't even like shit like that. Don't lie to yourself.

Don't lie to yourself.

I'm not lying to myself. I am being reasonable here. Objective. Someone needs to be. There are a lot of crazy fans out here and you're getting wrapping up in the Fandom. Simple as that. It is very fun to be distracted by all of this. You're just distracted by a fun alternate universe. You also, selfishly, like the praise when you deserve it. Anyone would! It's fine Beca. You're fine.

I will spend more time with Jesse. I will slowly ween myself off of this story and get my head back in the game. I will work on my mixes—fuck I am so behind. I can get out of this hole. I can. I will.

But what if you did love Chlo?

Beca stood herself up. She walked away from the screen of TERROR yet again. She decided she needed some air, to really try and get back to reality. She was suddenly in a white-padded room…with a fucking crack in the wall. She grabbed her robe and threw it on. She made sure to close her computer. She walked out of her dorm and down the hall. For a moment, she was successfully clearing her head. The decision to move away from her computer was a good one. She was on to a good plan. Perhaps she would grab a coffee next. The one on the corner nearer Bella's Rehearsal was actually very good.

Chloe.

Beca snapped her mind away. She would not get coffee. She should get juice. It's better for her. See? Good plans. She continued her stroll, noticing a hand full of students getting up and starting their days. She moved past a few, and realized that a few were coming from the…community showers.

Beca immediately turned around and darted to her dorm room.

Dude, you're a fucking idiot.

DEPRESSION

Beca scrolled through her Word Documents, frantically. All of the pieces were fitting together, slowly taking the small girl out. It was a no-brainer. Complete strangers had figured it out for her. Her Fan Fiction was a testament to Chloe. Every chapter was an experience she somehow shared with the redhead. Every burst of writing was somehow after she was with Chloe. Her "smut phase" was fueled by this girl, too. Every moment not spent with this girl, Beca struggled. Beca did not update.

Beca could not help but sink down into herself. She was suddenly embarrassed at herself. Not only that, she was mortified. How could she not have realized this? Perhaps if she did, she may have even written better material. She was suddenly...sulking.

This Fan Fiction was such a work in progress…

Andrea was Beca. Awkward, unsure of herself. Tried to be urban, tried to be better than VOGUE. Tried to be better than Emily. Believed she was. Went into the new job with these thoughts, only to have them lowered by a constant presence of a vastly different woman. An overwhelming, strong personality. A redhed.

Had she been wasting time with Jesse? Had she been missing out? Was it too late? Did Chloe like her? What could she even do about this? Could she be happier with Chloe?

All of these thoughts and questions caused an irreparable frown on the sinking girl's face. She didn't know what she should do now. She was also still struggling with how dumb she was. How clueless.

"How would I even get the girl?" Beca whispered to herself, convinced she had no experience, no knowledge, and no chance.

However, in reality, Beca knew exactly what to do. She had written it, after all. Every moment shared between her characters—she pushed the envelope a little bit. The author was using her desire and fueling it into action. The small DJ even returned to her most recent chapter and reread her cliffhanger ending.

All Andrea wanted to do was to grab Emily and kiss her. Kiss her now.

The things that Beca couldn't bring herself to do, Andrea seemed to be doing them. She knew her next chapter would contain quite the execution. Not like they hadn't kissed before in Beca's Fan Fiction—but it was all flirty fun up until this point. Smutty fun. This next portion was her character acting on love. Beca got excited again just thinking about her story. She jumped right back into the inspiration she was feeling earlier—before it was thrown off the tracks. Before her wake up call.

What an odd parallel to her own life.

ACCEPTANCE

"I love Chloe." Beca chuckled.

Saying it out loud seemed to be the first step.

"I have feelings for my best—"

A new review has been posted to your story.

The email that popped up startled Beca, cutting her off from her own little monologue she was beginning.

Chapter 5: Downpour

From: Guest

Beca rolled her eyes.

"Took you a while this time." She mumbled.

She then realized that she didn't care terribly that much to see what her first "fan" said. It was going to be the same old demand for more. The same old, vague, frustrating three or four words. That always ended with those fucking dots. Always, as if suggesting something more. Every time. Beca had stopped scrolling down on the email and tried to think of what her day was going to be, now realizing that she had feelings for another girl.

Beca pulled out her phone to see if she couldn't manage that breakfast date with her boyfriend. Maybe they should talk. Even if she wasn't sure she'd be ready to break things off with him, she felt as if, with this new knowledge, that she could see it better, and do what was best. Besides, there was no way she was ready for Chloe to know.

My God. Not ready for that yet.

She opened a new text message and asked him if he would be down to move their breakfast into a lunch. When he quickly replied with an excited YES, she nodded to herself and decided to get her butt moving.

Beca spent the next hour getting herself ready. She did a final look in the mirror and shrugged to herself. This was as good as she was going to look for a no sleep-lunch. She didn't care. As long as she was clean and looked like she…maybe…tried. She grabbed her bag and turned around to do one last check before she left for the day. Her computer was still up. She moved quickly over to her desk and moved the mouse pad slightly causing it to "wake back up." She didn't realize she was still on the email screen. Without thinking Beca quickly scrolled completely down just to see what—

"UHHHH..."

Well. Beca was indeed correct. She received frustrating, vague words. Only this time, they made her heart stop.

Guest: Then kiss me…