The group was barreling down the road in their van, and Toaster was on her fiftieth song. She'd sung every Rammstein song she knew, (In German), several songs from Monty Python and her favorite musicals. Now she was on The Beatles.

"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow-"

The van screeched to a halt. Everyone turned turned around and screamed at her to "SHUT UP!" She pouted and slouched. (Although they couldn't see because she was wearing a hockey mask)

"You guys are no fun." She said, turning up her nose and crossing her arms over her chest. Everyone exchanged glances.

"Listening to you sing is anythingbut fun, you little snot." Freddy scoffed, regretting that he had to sit next to her. Toaster lifted up her mask to glare at him.

"You're the one who's tone-deaf, buster!"

"I am not!" Freddy said, indignantly.

"Yes you are!" Toaster retorted.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too-

Michael stopped the car and pounded on the dashboard to get their attention. He held up his slate, on it he'd written in big letters: "Don't make me come back there." Yes folks, Michael's the 'motherly' one in this story. Remember: It's not supposed to make sense!

Jason held up his own slate. He'd written: "I have to go to the bathroom." Pinhead groaned and slapped himself on the forehead.

"You should've gone before we left!" He mumbled. A cheeky grin spread across Leatherface's, er, face.

"Just try not to think of Niagara Falls, the Hoover Dam, tidal waves, dripping faucets, or Noah's Ark-

Creeper hissed, which meant something like "Now I have to go!"

"Same here!" Toaster whined. "Mike, just turn into that rest stop before everyone wets themselves. Chucky probably did already."

Chucky scowled. "I donot wet my pants!" He screamed.

Toaster held up a package of training pants. "What do you call these then, HMM?!" She asked, squinting at him.

Chucky shut his mouth. Michael pulled into the rest stop and everyone piled out except Freddy. Toaster stayed behind for a minute.

"You should come too! My teacher always says on field trips: Go when you can and not when you must!" She said. (And that's good advice!)

Freddy rolled his eyes and got out of the van. She narrowed her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips. She tapped her sneakered foot against the ground.

"Well?" She asked, Freddy sighed.

"If I do, will you shut up?"

Toaster rocked back and forth on her feet and walked away. "Fine." She said over her shoulder. He grumbled to himself.

"She's such a nag."

Now the gang was back on the road. It felt like they were taking a long time to get to their destination. Toaster, who'd taken a seat closer to the driver's seat, leaned over. She pushed back her hockey mask to communicate better.

"Hey Mikey are we lost?" She asked. Michael scrawled onto his slate fast and handed it to her. It said, "NO. And stop calling me Mikey!"

Toaster raised her eyebrows. "Look buddy, I'm the author. I'll call you whatever I darn well please!"

Michael rolled his eyes in his mask and kept driving.

Several hours later, half the van was asleep. Toaster was curled up and drooling on her seat, and Chucky was mumbling in his sleep. Jason's leg twitched and Freddy was snoring. Loudly. Finally, Michael figured out the directions and they found the house. It had been decorated to look like a haunted house.

Michael held up his slate. It read: "Pinhead, do me a favor and wake everyone up."

The Cenobite nodded. "With pleasure." He took a megaphone out from under his seat. (Talk about convenient, no?) He turned the volume up high and screamed.

"WAKE UP!!!!!"

Everyone woke up with a start and clamped their hands over their ears.

"For cripes sake!" Chucky groaned, twisting his pinky in his ear. "Did you have to yell?"

Before Pinhead answered, everyone heard a loud snoring. They looked, to see Freddy still sleeping like an ugly burnt-up baby. Toaster turned to Jason.

"Jason, sweetie, may I have my frying pan back for a moment?" She asked, sweetly. Jason nodded and handed it to her. After a few practice swings, she let loose and smacked Freddy in the head. Unfortunately, Freddy had nails stuck in his head for his costume. When she smacked him with the FPOD, she drove the nails in really hard.

"Owowowowowowowoww!" Freddy screamed, jumping up. He glared at Toaster.

"Whoopsy!" She squeaked. She threw her frying pan back at Jason and ran for it. Freddy clawed his way out of the van and chased her.

"You overweight little-! I'll KILL YOU!" He bellowed.

"I'm big-boned!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran. The others at the van stood back and watched.

"Wow. She runs fast." Leatherface muttered. The other nodded. Freddy stopped, after having to holding up the 'skirt' of his Pinhead costume.

"Pinhead, how do you run in this stupid dress?!" He yelled over at him. The Cenobite scowled and stalked over to Freddy.

"It's not a dress, it's a kilt!" He huffed. Freddy smirked.

"Oh! Silly me! I didn't know they made leather kilts!"

"They do!" Pinhead said, handing him a business card. On the front it read 'Leather Kilts Unlimited.' Freddy took the card.

"Well I'll be stabbed…" He muttered. Toaster wandered back over with everyone else.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going inside."

She walked up to the door and knocked. The door was answered but none other then Isaac Chroner, and he was dressed like a pirate. Toaster stared at him wide eyed right before she collapsed on the floor in hysterical fits of laughter. Isaac blushed red.

"It's not that funny!" He scowled down at the girl rolling on the porch clutching her sides and giggling. She smiled and winked at him from behind her mask.

"It is too and you know it."

Leatherface came up the steps and looked down at Toaster. The boys were right behind him. He pulled her to her feet.

"Toaster what's so fun-

Toaster pointed at Isaac and the others had to fight to resist laughing. He rolled his eyes and moved from the door to let them in. (He gave Toaster a kick in the rear as she walked by)

The house was packed with people from various horror movies. Samara, Jack the Ripper, Hannibal Lector, Leprechaun, Ghostface, Jigsaw, the Firefly family, Candyman, and Carrie White. (Just to name a few) Before Toaster and her friends could do anything, Marilyn Manson stepped forward wearing a neck-brace. Behind her mask, the color drained from Toaster's face.

"Oh mushrooms." She muttered. Manson looked very angry.

"YOU!" He hissed. He grabbed a folding chair and began to chase her.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! I can't take this much running in one night!" Toaster wailed, running for her mother-loving life. Her friends watched the chase. Jason held up his slate, it said, "Should we do something?"

Freddy tapped his chin a moment. "Nah. Let's watch her suffer first."

Manson broke the chair over Toaster's head, knocking her to the ground. Then he grabbed by the neck and smashed her face against the wall many times.

"Good thing I'm wearing a hockey mask!" She said between smacks. Manson shoved her down and put his foot on her neck.

"First I'm going to rip out your pretty little eyes, then you get to listen to my music. For several hours." He growled. Toaster let out a gut-wrenching scream.

"NO-O-O-O-O-O-OO-O!!!"

Freddy finally stepped forward, flanked by the other boys.

"Okay, we're done watching." He said, and then he pounced on Manson. Manson's fans hissed and grabbed Toaster, hurling her out the window. One guy in the crowd broke out into song.

"They threw her out the window, the window! The second story window-AAAAAAAAAGH!" Chucky butchered him with his mini chainsaw. Toaster plunged out the window, screaming. Creeper leapt out the window and caught her under her arms. He hissed to her as they flew back up. She pouted.

"I'm not that heavy!" She said as he dumped her on the floor. Meanwhile, Freddy and Jason were giving Manson a thorough thrashing. She slapped herself on the forehead.

"We are going get sued BIG TIME." She ran over and tapped Freddy on the shoulder. "Cut it out. We're out of here."

"But we just got here!" Leatherface said.

Toaster glanced at him. "Do you want to get sued?"

The Manson fans hissed and held sharp objects. The eight made a run for the door.

"Apologies to any offended Manson fans!" Toaster yelled on the way out. They bolted across the lawn and piled into the van. Toaster grabbed Michael from the driver's seat and shoved Freddy in.

"It's your time to shine, Lead-foot!" She said, climbing over him into the passenger seat. Freddy blinked.

"What if I don't feel like driving?" He asked. Toaster scowled and pulled his fedora off Pinhead's head. She took a lighter and held Freddy's hat over it. She lit up the lighter.

"Drive." She said, through gritted teeth. Freddy peeled the van out of the driveway so fast it left a trail of molten rubber. Everyone else held on for dear life.

"Now what?" Chucky asked, from his car seat.

"We're going to T.P. Lector's house!" Freddy said, everyone cheered and they drove off into the night.