Z27

Raphael

April leaves the blinds open in Zoe's bedroom, and on the French doors, so I can catch glimpses of her from the roof. My breath floats around my face in an irritating cloud and I swipe it away, watching Zoe creep around the apartment looking at everything as if she has no idea what is going on; for the hundredth time in three months, trying to figure out where she is, and worst of all, who she or Andrea are.

She'd been in the hospital two weeks before they released her. Two weeks of Karai, April and Exodus sending me messages, giving me reports, and leaving the damn blinds open so I could see her, only to have that bitch nurse shut them again. They brought her to her new home, showed her around, introduced her to Andrea and I watched from my perch, as her face fell vacant, completely at a loss as to who our sweet little girl was. Zoe had rubbed her face, swiped away frustrated tears and opened her arms to Andrea, pulling her in, holding her close, and wept openly into our toddler's hair. That part had given me some relief, even the part of Zoe that was walking around right now, had the same heart as my Zoe.

When she asked about Drea's father they told her they'd tell her everything when the time was right, but made sure she knew that I love her. Probably intimidated by the notion of a stranger loving her was why she'd dropped the topic and hadn't asked again.

It's my sons I worry about, I'm constantly gone checking on their mother. Fuck, I feel like a stalker, desperate to hold her, touch her, feel her warmth, smell the sweet honeysuckle scent of her, to talk to her and tell her… about how Hisao misses her still, how Gray is cutting another tooth, Kei is crawling, and Anton just wants to apologize to her for everything he's ever done bad, if she'll only come home. And I want her home. Part of me wonders though, if she'll ever be the same, if she'll remember me, and if she doesn't… if this version of her can accept us. Somewhere I'm trying to make myself consider the most difficult way this could play out… letting her go.

Our entire family is still struggling to adjust, but, at least Noah is doing well. In every way but one that mission had been a success. King and his minions, both Frankensteins, they were dead. The lab had blown, the victims freed, and Noah cured.

I sink deeper into the bomber jacket April bought me, pulling the ridiculous red beanie down further over my head and shove my hands in my pockets. Zoe's picking out clothes instead of pajamas. Wonder where she's going? Who's that in the hall? Is that- oh – hell – no. No!

Zoe slips into a skirt and a blouse-thing the color of her eyes, then turns toward her bedroom door and I can see the outline of Ansgar at the other end. My heart sinks to my stomach and feels like it explodes. She doesn't know what she is, how she'll react to him. A sick feeling rushes over me. I'm never going to get her back.

While she speaks to him from the hall she grabs her crutches and hits the light switch. Her room is left as dark as the shadow that has fallen over us.

Ansgar. Son of a bitch.

Karai

April paces the living room. We've just gotten the last child off to bed, it's half past nine and she keeps shaking her head, repeating herself. "I just can't believe this. I can't believe it. The therapists said, let her get a job, it will help her. And you," she whirls on me, "you give her a job at the club, where he works, putting her right in his reach. Damn-it Karai," April's face crumbles, "what were you thinking?"

Honestly, I was hoping he'd trigger her memory. I wasn't thinking she'd start dating him! But I've already told April that, and Leo, and Mikey, and Donnie, and Exodus, and Raph. If everyone in this family would just back off, it's not like I… I… I sink to the couch and bury my face in my hands. "I wasn't- I didn't-" I look at April through my fingers, "I don't know what to do, it's not like I can keep tabs on her if I'm not where she is. The club just seemed logical."

April scoffs, "Yep, and on her first night off, we lose tabs on her. She's out, on a date, with a horny hybrid, who, she was made for. I can't think of much worse than that."

I close my eyes and swallow the wave of nausea cresting in my gut. "I texted Raph, where she said Ansgar is taking her."

"Oh, that's great! What's he going to do Karai, bust in and stop them from having sex? That'll go over real well. Hi Zoe, I'm your giant turtle mate who you don't remember because you almost died saving my life and now I'm going to just kill your date here because he knows all that and is trying to take advantage of you!" April is just shy of screaming in my face, her usually pale skin resembling a red balloon being squeezed, poised to pop.

She doesn't see Raph climbing in through the window behind her. I look to the floor, unable to bear the pain in his eyes.

"I didn't… follow her."

My bottom lip trembles as I close my eyes, and listen.

April's voice drops to a faint whisper, "I'm so sorry Raph."

"I… came to see Drea."

"Of course, she's sleeping but go ahead. Is X coming by to babysit in the morning?"

He doesn't answer her as he ghosts down the hall, and I can't help feeling his defeat, his resignation. If he hasn't followed her, he's shifting gears. My heart clenches and I miss Leo, need to be with him, if just for the night. I reach for my phone and send him a text.

Karai: I'm coming home for the night.

"April, I need-"

"Karai, I need-"

We look at each other, tears in our eyes.

"You go," we say at the same time.

"No, you go," we do it again, a faint laugh amid stray tears slipping by us both.

My phone vibrates in my palm.

Leo: Why don't you send April home for the night? Then sit up here on the rooftop with me for a while? Let Raph have some time with Andrea. I'll send him a text. If anyone wakes up and he needs help we'll be right here.

Karai: You're already up there?

Leo: Yes. I wanted to be near you, too.

"April, Leo's on the roof. Go spend the night with Donnie. I've got this." I make my way to the fire escape and she's out the front door with a wave of her hand.

There's something about watching two beings, that love each other like Raph and Zoe do, getting torn apart by life, that puts and ache in your heart, makes you really want to be with that someone you love. For me it's Leo. It always has been. And as I climb from the fire escape and see him standing by the ledge, bandana tails whipping around behind him in frigid New York Wind, the tails of his long coat flapping around his ankles, I know it will always be him. His eyes are cast over the city, and I wonder what he's thinking. His fingers slip down around mine and he pulls me to him, wraps his arms around me and I just wish I could stop time, maybe rewind it. But it's always moving, the clock ticking, seconds passing; and no one moment is truly perfect because sometimes in the moments that follow greater things happen. Other times… not so much.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the club, that I knew about hybrids, about the money, all of it." I speak into his plastron and he kisses the top of my head.

"Oh Karai, with everything that's happened, it doesn't matter anymore. I know where your heart is, where your loyalties lie." He gives me a squeeze, "I just wish we could help Zoe and Raph. I want this family back together, and after tonight I just – don't know, if that's going to happen."

"He's-" A lump rises in my throat when I hear the surrender in Leo's voice.

"Letting her go? Yes. When she goes with Ansgar, he'll let her take Andrea, and we'll leave New York, go home to the farmhouse."

I press my lips together, struggling with the rising tide within me as I cling to the lapels of his coat, hearing myself whimper. I love Zoe, my best friend, my counterpart, my sister; but I know if the boys let her go we'll sever all contact. It will hurt Raph too much to keep her around. He'll never stop wondering about her, asking about her, wanting to see her, and he can't keep that up forever, he has four boys that need him. I think of Zoe's babies, babies she doesn't even know she has. "God, Zoe, your whole life ripped from you to save the one you love. I can't think of anything more wretched and tragic. Fuck. Just," I thrust my clenched hands into Leo's plastron, "FUCK!"

Somehow, at some point, tears get away from me. Damned things I didn't know I had in me. Things that hurt, burn my eyes, big fat drops that drip down my cheeks and drench my shirt. I shiver and weep, clinging to steel and sandalwood, green and brown, and he whispers soothing words to me, things that calm me, comfort me, and I want that desperately for Zoe and Raphael.

A/N: Thanks to Bubblyshell and Stitcherbell for keeping in touch, you two are wonderful! :) Who else among my Raph/Zoe fans are still out there? What's been your favorite chapter so far? Is Raph going to have to give Zoë up? Should he? Is Zoë falling for Ansgar? Think Raph can keep himself from killing Ansgar? Tell me what you want to happen. :)