Disclaimer: I don't own American Dad except for Zoey Wilson. I don't own Eddie Walker. He belongs to aldovas. No music is owned by me.
Opening Scene
Hayley and Francine are shopping inside a mall. There was a line to register for the Victoria's Secret Lingerie Fashion Show.
"Mom, what's going on there?" Hayley asked.
"I guess it's that year again, huh" Francine answered as they walk in.
"I'm in. Jeff will be so surprised" Hayley said.
"All right honey, but avoid the perverts out there" Francine said as we see Quagmire appear from out of nowhere.
I, pen123 stepped in and dragged him out of here.
"You're banned Quagmire!" I shouted.
"I hate you all!" Quagmire flipped at us and I kicked him far away.
"Who was that?" Francine asked.
End of Opening Scene
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. Stan, Steve, and Klaus were in the kitchen eating breakfast. Jeff arrives while carrying baby Mary.
"Hey guys, it's Mary's breakfast too" he said as he gives his daughter baby formula in a baby bottle. The baby holds it with both her feet and drinks her breakfast as Jeff hold on to her.
"My granddaughter is so cute!" Stan cheered.
Two people enter.
"Guess who's entering the Victoria's Secret Lingerie Fashion show?" Hayley announced as she and Francine entered the kitchen.
"That's great Francine, I'm so proud of you" Stan responded.
"Dad, I'm entering the lingerie fashion show" Hayley rebutted.
"You will do no such thing. I did not raise a hussy in this household" Stan argued.
"Mr. S, please let Hayley enter. Plus, it could be my early birthday present seeing my wife in various lingerie" Jeff pleaded.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Stan asked.
"I want to dad, plus there's a surprise for the hottest model" Hayley explained.
"Oh all right, but only if this will make Jeff shut up about it" Stan surrendered.
"Thanks dad, plus I'll win this for Mary. Speaking of her, I need to give her a diaper change" Hayley said as she left upstairs while taking Mary away from Jeff.
"Dad, are you comfortable with this?" Steve asked.
"Son, in life sometimes you have to allow your eldest child to do whatever she wants" Stan explained.
"I hope nothing bad happens to her" Steve added.
"Guys, where's my food? I'm starving!" Roger exclaimed as he entered the kitchen.
"I have lots of cereal" Francine suggested.
"Oh great Franny; next thing you'll tell me is that there's no such thing as leprechauns" Roger added.
"That makes no sense at all Roger" Steve shook his head.
The next morning, Jeff wakes up from the bed he and his wife always sleep in. When he woke up, he saw Hayley in her underwear. She's wearing a black lacy bra and matching bikini lace panties with red hearts in the middle.
"Good morning darling" Hayley said in a seductive tone as she models in front of Jeff.
"Babe, what's all this?" Jeff asked while smiling.
"I'm practicing, babe" Hayley explained.
"I think you're going to be the hottest model at the fashion show" Jeff told her
"Want me to show you?" Hayley practices her modeling skills as she walks straight, turns around, and does a sexy pose, doing all of this with her hands on the hips.
"I think I died and gone to heaven!" Jeff cheered as he got up and made out with his wife.
"Hayley, my German chocolate order hasn't come in from the mail, so I was wondering if you can..." Klaus enters their room, but freezes at the moment where he sees Hayley in her underwear.
"Fish can't get boners, can they?" the goldfish asked as Hayley quickly puts on a robe.
Later, Stan enters the kitchen, only to see Roger cooking something.
"Roger, what are you doing?" Stan asked.
"Oh hey Stan, I was just creating am early dinner for the family, if I can" the alien explained.
"Roger, would you mind explaining why you have a huge barrel of tomato sauce, 10 tons of mozzarella cheese, and a million pounds of flour?" Stan wanted to know.
"All right Stan; if I tell you this, do you promise me that you will not let anyone know about this?" Roger proposed.
"Fine I promise, but tell me, are you making a pizza?" Stan wondered.
"Yes I am, are you happy now?" Roger answered.
"Yay, I love pizza! It's my all time favorite food! Can I help?" Stan offered.
"Awesome! You can be my guinea pig!" the alien suggested.
"(Sigh) this better be worth it" Stan said. "So what kind of pizza are we making, meat lover's, veggie, supreme, or what?"
"Hold your horses Stanford, you'll see it when we cook" Roger explained as he tossed thr dough up in the sky and it falls to the ground.
"It's still good" he said as Stan frowns at him.
A few hours later, Hayley is in line at Victoria's Secret, waiting to pick uo her registration information. There were a bunch of models, waiting to be entered as well.
"Okay this isn't going to be as easy as I thought it would be" Hayley told herself as she was next in line.
"Name?" a judge asked.
"Hayley Fischer" she responded.
"Here you go, Ms. 120 pounds" the judge said as Hayley got her number.
"Shut it!" she snapped as she went to the dressing room.
"Are you Hayley? My name is Todd Wallace. I'm the fashion consultant. Darling, you are going to do amazing!" a white guy with blonde hair, wearing a gay pride shirt and blue jeans and brown boots approached her.
"Thanks" Hayley responded.
Meanwhile, Steve, Francine (while holding baby Mary), Klaus, and Jeff entered.
"It's a shame your father and Roger couldn't join us. Roger said he's planning a special dinner for us and your father does not want to see Hayley modeling in lingerie" Francine told Steve.
"I'm sure Hayley will win. Unless Zoey is competing, in which she can't because she's 17, no one will beat my sister" Steve said with a smile.
However, Lisa Silver and her friends Amy and Janet have arrived.
"Oh crap!" Steve panicked.
"Steve what's wrong?" Jeff asked.
"Jeff, our mortal enemies are here" Steve explained.
"Oh shit, Hayley's screwed. Plus I'm the first person to say the s-word on a fan fiction uncensored!" Jeff exclaimed while breaking the fourth wall, but Steve frowns at him.
"I need to go. Hayley needs my help" Steve thought for a moment.
"Steve, Mary needs a diaper change again" Francine pleaded as she gives his son her granddaughter.
"Yes mom, I'll change her diaper and then save Hayley" Steve said as he left with his niece. "Why did you chocolate sauce your pants again when your mommy needs help?"
End of Act 1
Act 2
Steve went back to sit down with his mom. Jeff is holding his daughter. More people are entering to watch the lingerie fashion show.
"I have to rescue Hayley fast!" Steve told himself.
"Mom I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back" Steve said as he left quickly, but in reality, he went to the dressing room.
"Sorry, only models that have registered are allowed to enter" the security guard warned him.
"My sister is in there. I need to talk to her" Steve explained.
"Make it quick" the guard lets Steve in.
"Hayley!" Steve sees his sister as she is only wearing a robe.
"Steve, what are you doing here? This is for models only. Get out of here!" she shouted.
"I will, but Lisa Silver, Amy, and Janet are here" he explained.
"Oh crap" Hayley responded.
"Sis, are you sure you want to do this?" Steve asked.
"Steve, I'll be fine. If don't mind, I'm up on stage soon" Hayley said as she left.
"I need help fast!" Steve panicked.
Later, Stan and Roger finished making their pizza.
"Roger, this is perfect! A sausage, pepperoni, and Nutella pizza; this is going to be amazing!" Stan cheered.
(A/E Nutella is a chocolate-tasting hazelnut spread.)
"Let's take a bite, shall we?" Roger suggested as they each take a slice of pizza and eats it.
"Not bad" Stan said.
"Yes, but it does not have some pizzazz into it. Let's make something else" Roger said as he takes the pizza and throws it into the garbage.
"Roger, I thought it was delicious" Stan said.
"Stan, I'm the expert. You don't decide what's perfectly good is" Roger snapped.
"Hurry up and make some more" Stan suggested.
Later, the lights at the fashion show went off, but turned back on with green light.
"Welcome to the annual Langley Falls Victoria's Secret Lingerie fashion show! Please give a warm welcome to all the models for today's show!" the announcer said as all the models, including Hayley, Lisa, Amy, and Janet arrived. They were walking down the walkway in red lacy bras and matching boy shorts panties. They were modeling to the song "Turned Down for What?" by DJ Snake and Lil Jon.
"Yeah, this is awesome!" Jeff cheered and whistled while holding on to the baby, who has ear muffs.
"You go Hayley!" Francine cheered as well.
"Make us proud Hayley" Klaus joined in also.
"Steve, what's wrong?" Jeff asked.
"I know something bad will happen to Hayley. It's not that I don't trust her. Something is about to happen to her anytime soon" Steve explained. "I can't take this anymore. I need to go. I need my girlfriend badly" he stood up.
"Hey mom, dad texted me and said that he needs help with something for the CIA. I'll see you at home" Steve lied to his home.
"Be careful sweetie" Francine responded as Steve left the room.
Moments later, he arrived at Zoey's house. His girlfriend opened the door.
"Hi Steve, what's up boyfriend?" Zoey asked as he kissed her boyfriend.
"Hi Zoey, I need help. You see Hayley is at the lingerie fashion show for Victoria's Secret. I know something bad will happen to her. I don't know what to do" Steve explained.
"Well the only thing you can do is go incognito" Zoey suggested.
"Are you sure? But how?" Steve asked multiple questions.
"I hate to say this, but you really need to go back to your Stacey persona" Zoey answered.
"Are you sure?" Steve asked back.
"If you want Hayley to be okay, you'll have to disguise yourself as a hot girl again" she answered.
"Well okay, but I need a ride to the CIA and I can't ask dad because he's really busy" Steve said.
"We'll go really quickly. Mom, I'm going on a quick car ride. I'll be back" Zoey said to her mother.
"Be careful, sweetie" her mom answered, off-screen.
Moments later, they returned with a bottle of sex-changing pills and at Zoey's room.
"Okay Steve, first take the pill and put this on" Zoey suggested as she gave him a red bra and matching panties.
"I can't wear lingerie. Last time I did, I puked nonstop" Steve added.
"Take this as well. It's a puke blocking pill" Zoey suggested as Steve left the room for a moment, and then he returned as Stacey.
"Girl, you're back!" Zoey cheered.
"I'm back, but what's the purpose of me wearing bra and panties?" Stacey wondered.
"Watch this" Zoey said as she…also took off her clothes, revealing her light blue bra and matching bikini panties.
"We're going to practice modeling" she said as she does some modeling moves in front of Stacey. However, s/he is bust looking at Zoey's body.
"If I was still a boy, I would have gotten a boner right about now" s/he told him/herself.
"You try now Stacey" Zoey suggested as she puts on a light pink robe. To much of a surprise, Stacey was walking like a perfect model.
"I think you're ready!" Zoey cheered.
Later, they arrived at the fashion show. Stacey only had a blue robe on with heels.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Stacey asked.
"Trust me on this" Zoey answered.
"Models only" the guard told them.
"It's okay, my friend Stacey wants to be in" Zoey responded.
"Okay, go on and make a move" the guard said as he lets him/her in. A bunch of girls are walking down to the stage, wearing white lacy bra and hi-cut panties.
"Let me watch them first and then I'll make a move"
Lisa, Amy, and Janet arrive.
"It's perfect. Once Hayley does her final pose, we'll dump pig's blood all over her body and it will be awesome!" Lisa suggested.
"Oh no, I knew it! Hayley is doomed unless I save her" Stacey said to him/herself.
"Steve, is that you?" out of nowhere, Eddie Walker appears. He was with his mom as he was helping her design various lingerie types.
"Oh crap!" Stacey panicked.
End of Act 2
Act 3
Later, the models are wearing green baby dolls with matching thongs. They're modeling to the song "Hung Up" by Madonna.
"Go Hayley, walk the aisle babe!" Jeff cheered.
Back at the dressing room, Eddie sees Stacey.
"Who's Steve? My name is Stacey" Stacey told him.
"Cut the act Steve, I know it's you. I disguise myself as a girl sometimes" Eddie said.
"Fine it's me, I took a pill to transform myself into a girl and I did this just so I can save Hayley or else bullies will hurt her or embarrass her" Steve explained.
"I understand. Steve or Stacey, listen, it's okay to be a girl sometimes. That does not make you a full time girl because you like to wear ladies' clothes. As long as you enjoy doing stuff as a boy, you'll be fine. You're a great guy and should be a guy when you're not a girl" Eddie explained.
"How do you know so much about this?" Stacey asked.
"I disguise myself as a girl named Emma. I've been through this before. It's called being a straight cross dresser. You can enjoy pretending to be a girl, but you can still enjoy being a boy when not being a girl. Do you understand?" Eddie asked.
"I guess so" Stacey answered.
"I'm glad you care about Hayley so much. Just be careful and remember what I said. I have to go and help my mom out. Have fun" Eddie left.
Hayley arrives with a robe.
"Stacey, what are you doing here?" she asked him/her.
"Hayley, I want to help you. The mean girls are attempting to cover you with pig's blood. You have to get out of here" Stacey explained.
"Stacey, this is a girl's only fashion show, not for guys disguised as girls" Hayley said.
"Please Hayley, I really want to help. I need to go put on lingerie. I'll be back" Stacey left the scene sadly.
(Music plays)
Hayley:
I thought I was open-minded
Acceptance was my creed
But now I find that I've been a fool, indeed
Steve:
I thought I was always a boy
Hayley:
I forgot that inside we're identical
Even if we have different genitals
I thought I was open-minded
Acceptance was my creed
But I've been blinded
I hope I don't bleed
Steve:
I thought I was always a boy
Together:
I'm having a crisis again.
Steve:
'Bout what's between my thigh-ses
I have to understand me
So I can know when to sit or stand when I pee
Emma (Eddie Walker in disguise, wearing a purple dress, matching flats, and a brunette wig):
I'm Emma
Steve:
Who am I between my legs?
My sacks filled with sperm, but is my heart filled with eggs
Hayley:
I never knew what I didn't know
Is it a bulge down there or is it camel-toe
Steve:
I thought I was always a boy
Hayley:
I thought I was always open-minded
Emma: And I'm Emma!
Moments later, the kitchen is a huge mess. There was food all over the place.
"Roger, I think we should just quit and order a pizza instead" Stan suggested.
"Stan, we're not giving up. I want the perfect pizza and I'm making the perfect pizza" Roger answered.
"We tried every combination there is and nothing seems to work" Stan added.
"You know what? I quit! If you want to make the perfect pizza, you'll do it on your own!" Roger angrily gives Stan the chef's hat.
"Watch this" he said as he…made a stuffed crust pizza with pepperoni, sausage, and spinach. He takes a slice and eats it.
"Mmm, this is so good! Roger, you have to taste it" Stan suggested.
"No way Stan, there's no way…" Roger was cut off after taking a bite off the slice. "Now this is good! Hooray, we made the perfect pizza!"
"I call it 'Too Good to Be True'!" Stan announced.
"Perfect!" Roger cheered.
Back at the fashion show, various models wore black bras and matching bikini panties, then purple bras and matching cotton panties and also yellow bras and matching French cut panties. It was the final event for the fashion show. Each model is posing one by one in front of the audience.
Inside the dressing room, Hayley finds Stacey.
"Stacey, I just want to say I'm sorry for what I said. I know you're standing up for me and I really appreciate it. I need you to protect me" Hayley told him/her.
"I'm always there for you" Stacey smiled back.
"See you out there buddy" Hayley left while wearing a black one-piece lacy lingerie.
Lisa, Amy, and Janet are looking at Hayley down.
"Here we go, the moment is here" Lisa said
Hayley is modeling in front of the audience as lights of photography were flashing. The audience is cheering at her loudly.
"I think we have a winner!" the announcer said.
"Now!" Lisa said as she started to dump pig's blood. This scene is moved in slow motion.
"Hayley, no!" Stacey ran and pulled back his/her sister quickly. The blood is pouring all over the stage.
(Audience screaming)
"What's going on?" Todd appears, but the buckets hits his head, knocking him out.
The audience was so frightened that they ran away, screaming like chickens.
"My baby!" Francine shouted.
"Mrs. S, Hayley's okay" Jeff told her.
Inside, guards surrounded Lisa, Amy, and Janet. They arrested the girls for the gruel-some prank.
"Stacey, you saved me. Thank you!" Hayley hugs her brother/sister.
"Of course I saved you. You're my sister" Stacey answered.
"Take care guys" Eddie waved them goodbye as he left with his mom.
"What a nice guy Eddie is, huh?" Stacey asked.
Moments later, Steve is back to being Steve again. The whole Smith family is sitting on the kitchen, eating pizza.
"Cheers to my favorite lingerie model" Jeff made a toast and everyone resumed eating.
(Credits roll)
"Great job on this pizza, dad. Where did you get the ingredients?" Hayley asked.
"It came from my mind, Hayley" Stan answered.
"Yeah well I had this from Pizza Hut a couple of weeks ago" Steve said.
Stan and Roger looked with blank stares.
"We're getting sued, aren't we?" Roger asked.
End of Act 3