Disclaimer: I do not own American Dad, Star Wars, or any of the Walker characters. They are owned by Seth MacFarlane, George Lucas, and aldovas, respectively.
Opening Scene
The scene opens as a parody of the beginning of a Star Wars movie. The title reads "American Dad: Pen123 Edition" written in Star Wars writing. The theme song is also played. The scene shifts to a planet and an astronaut's foot stepped on the moon. Suddenly, he…starts dancing to "Spaceman" by the Killers.
"You know what? I can't do this. Let's go on with the show" I announced.
End of Opening Act
Act 1
The scene starts off inside a cutaway of a video game.
Cutaway
The scene begins inside a Star Wars video game. We see droids, lasers, wookies, and starships everywhere.
"Guardian Smith, do you read me?" a voice asked as his character looks like Luke Skywalker attacking giant worms.
"I got your back Jedi Fischer" a character that looked like Hans Solo responded as he attacked a flying green dragon.
"Oh no; it's those invincible worms! Quick Guardian, hide me!" Skywalker shouted as the worm popped out of nowhere and attacked him. Luckily, a female character that looks like Princess Leia occurred.
"Hello, this is Princess Wilson, at your service" the girl voiced.
"Thanks Zoey!" Skywalker exclaimed.
Cutaway Ends
The scene shifts to Steve's room, where we see Steve, Jeff, and Zoey playing the Star Wars video game online.
"Steve, why did you mention my name online? People will think we're dorks!" Zoey complained.
"Oh relax Zoey, there's a bunch of Zoey Wilsons around. You know you're not the only one with that name, you know" Steve responded.
"Steve, this game is awesome! How did you find out about this?" Jeff wondered.
"I got nerdy friends Jeffrey" Steve answered.
Flashback
Steve, Barry, Toshi, and Snot were sitting at the school cafeteria table.
"Hey guys, there's this awesome Star Wars video game, where you can select and create a character and enter this tournament to be the best Star Wars player ever!" Snot announced.
"How did you find this out Snot?" Steve wondered.
"It's simple Steve; my mom was using her computer and someone at her job recommended this game. I'd figure we all like it" Snot explained.
"It's like World of War craft, but ten times better!" Barry cheered.
"私が何かを言ってみましょう。簡単にボールをバストすることができます良いことのあまり！ (Let me say something; too much of a good thing can bust your balls easily!)" Toshi said.
"Uh, that's right Toshi; Star Wars is awesome!" Snot exclaimed.
Flashback Ends
"Steve, are you busy son?" Stan arrived in Steve's room. "Hi everyone; why are you guys online?"
"Dad, we're playing this awesome Star Wars game and we're barely on level one. What do you need?" Steve asked.
"Never mind son; I was gonna ask if you wanted to give Roger a Texas wedgie, but I see that you guys are busy so never mind" Stan leaves.
"That was weird" Zoey said.
"Shall we?" Jeff asked.
"What an r-tard, huh?" Steve chuckled.
Stan overhears what his son said. "I'm not an r-tard" he told himself sadly.
Meanwhile, Steve, Jeff, and Zoey are playing the game.
"Okay, this was practice, you guys! I didn't want to say this, but I think we're ready" Steve announced.
"Ready, for what?" Zoey questioned.
"We will enter in the Star Wars Best Jedi Tournament. This tournament will determine who is the best Jedi in the history of Star Wars. What do you say, you guys?" Steve asked.
"Steve, that's cool and all, but are we really that ready? We barely got this game and you want us to enter the tournament? I'm in!" Jeff cheered.
"Me too" Zoey added.
"All right; we will create characters and then we will be ready" Steve suggested.
Cutaway
Moments later, the scene shifts to the video game animation. The three created new characters for the tournament. Steve's character is Stevanita Skywalker. His character has Luke Skywalker's white suit. His weapon is a blue light saber shaped like a gun from Star Wars Rebels. Zoey's character is Princess Wilson Zo. Her outfit is the slave bikini that Princess Leia wore in Return of the Jedi. Her weapon is a sporting blaster. Jeff's character is….JFKO. He looks just like C-3PO, but his body is green. Plus, he has no weapon.
"Are we ready team?" Steve announced.
"Yes!" the rest of the team cheered as the approached the Petranaki Arena.
"Hey look; some of our friends are here" Jeff said as we see Barry (his character looks like Chewbacca, with the weapon being a bow caster), Snot (his character is similar to Hans Solo, with his weapon being a DL-44 heavy blaster pistol), and Toshi (his character looks like Darth Maul, but the red and black colors are switched and his weapon is a red double-bladed light saber).
"Let's win this!" Zoey cheered.
"Who are you?" Steve asked as a character that looks just like Luke Skywalker, but in a black outfit, with a red light saber from Star Wars Episode VII, approached.
"My name is Eddagorn Skywalker. I am the greatest Jedi Master ever! I entered this tournament for a long time. I will be the first Jedi to accomplish a three-peat and retain the title of the best Jedi ever! No one can stop me! I am the real Skywalker! (Laughs evilly)" the Jedi character laughed as he left the scene. (A/E His voice is played by Mark Hamill.)
Cutaway Ends
"Grr, this son of a bitch is killing me! We haven't even fought and this guy is going to kick our asses. He is going down! I don't know who you are, but I'm going to find you and I'm definitely going to kill you!" Steve shouted.
"Steve we can't. You heard what this guy said. Besides, you just quoted Taken" Jeff said.
"It's just a game Steve" Zoey added.
"Well then we have a lot of work to do, so here we go" Steve responded as he cracked his fingers and began to type.
The scene shifts to the game in someone's laptop. We see a pair of hands typing on a keyboard.
"Big brother, want to watch some cartoons?" a girl's voice asked.
"Not now, I'm busy" the same voice responded. "I don't think this kid likes me. Oh well, I don't care. I'm here to stay and I'm here to win!"
"Son, mail" an adult man said, off-screen.
"Shh!" the boy's voice shushed the guy.
"Sorry" the man apologized.
End of Act 1
Act 2
A character that looks like Palpatine approached in front of many Star Wars characters.
"Welcome my loyal Jedis. As you can see, this field will determine who the better Jedi is ever. We have our defending champion: Eddagorn Skywalker with us. Let there be war and violence. With that being said, I assigned all of you a number. That number will determine who will fight who. Good luck and may the force be with you. (Laughs)" the Palpatine lookalike announced as he left. (A/E His voice sounds just like Ian McDiarmid.)
"Team, are we ready?" Steve asked.
"Yes!" everyone cheered.
"First up: Stevanita Skywalker versus Darth Kenneth" Palpatine announced.
"I wonder who that guy is" Steve asked as his character faced off a character that looks like Darth Vader, but he is orange instead of black.
"Begin!" Palpatine announced as the two face off. Darth Kenneth has a purple light saber. The two used their weapons and attacked each other with them.
"I'm the next best Jedi. There's no way I'm losing to this Darth Vader lookalike. For the record, you are not my father!" Steve taunted as he releases a saber attack and it instantly kills Darth Kenneth.
"Oh my God, you killed Kenny!" Jeff shouted.
"You bastard!" Zoey added but chuckled.
"Stevanita Skywalker is the winner!" Palpatine announced. "Next up: Princess Wilson Zo versus…Eddagorn Skywalker!"
"What?!" Zoey shouted.
"Zoey, are you sure you can do this?" Steve asked his girlfriend.
"(Sigh) I guess I have no other choice. Besides, in order to be the best, you have to beat the best. That's exactly what I'm going to do to him" Zoey responded.
"Good luck" Jeff cheered as Princess Wilson Zo and Eddagorn Skywalker approached each other and fought.
"Watch this little boy" Zoey taunted as she does a spinning attack, but Eddagorn blocks her move with his red light saber.
"Damn, this guy is smart. Okay, how about this?" Zoey now used her weapon to shoot at him, but the red light saber is preventing any damage on him.
"Nice try little girl" Eddagorn Skywalker taunted as he slashed Princess Wilson Zo with his weapon.
"You won't get away with it!" Zoey shouted as she runs away with her spinning attack and avoids Eddagorn.
"I should be safe here" she told her as she is on top of a mountain. Unbeknown to her, a red saber attack came out of nowhere, thus knocking her out of the match.
"Anything you like to say, little girl?" Eddagorn asked as Princess Wilson Zo is defeated.
"You're a phony" she responded in a weak tone.
"Eddagorn Skywalker is the winner!" Palpatine announced.
"Oh that's just great. I'm sure that this is not the original Luke Skywalker. He has to be a fake. I just knew it" Steve told himself.
Cutaway Ends
"That's enough video games for today. I need to go home. I'll see you tomorrow you guys" Zoey announced as she turned off her laptop, got her stuff, and left Steve's room.
"Bye Zoey" Steve waved as his girlfriend.
Cutaway
Moments later, we see various Star Wars fights going on. Only Steve's, Jeff's, and Snot's characters have advanced to the next round of the tournament.
"Eddagorn Skywalker versus JFKO" Palpatine announced.
"I'm going to avenge your girlfriend" Jeff explained as he approached towards Eddagorn.
"(Laughs) you don't have any weapons. How do you expect to defeat me?" Eddagorn taunted.
"Good question" Jeff answered. "Hey look, the droids are undressing and having a pillow fight!"
"Where?" Eddagorn asked excitedly and JFKO launches a sneak attack. However, Eddagorn used his red light saber just in time and attacked JFKO.
"Nice try, little robot. That is the oldest trick in the book" Eddagorn laughed.
"Oh yeah well yo mama is so fat, Jabba the Hut said DAMN!" Jeff taunted.
"This is a battle fight, not a yo mama fight. Yo mama is so dumb, you lost!" Eddagorn shouted as he used his light saber attack and knocked JFKO out of the tournament.
"Once again, the champion is the winner!" Palpatine announced.
"Steve or whoever, go kick his ass!" Jeff demanded.
Cutaway Ends
"Damn, this guy can't be serious! First he got rid of my girlfriend and now he got rid of my brother-in-low; this cannot go on! Somebody must beat Eddagorn Skywalker!" Steve shouted.
"Steve, it's cool. The better man won and there's not much we can do" Jeff explained.
"But someone needs to beat him" Steve answered back.
"Well, you just have to wait and see if you are able to take on Eddagorn" Jeff said.
"All right, enough whining around; I have a tournament to win and a champion to dethrone" Steve added as he cracked his knuckles.
Cutaway
"Well ladies and gentlemen; this has been one exciting tournament. Since you guys are fighting so hard to be the best Jedi, I would like to say that it's time for a break. Everyone come back in one hour. We will begin the semifinals soon" Palpatine announced as he vanished.
"Perfect" Steve said.
Cutaway Ends
"Okay, I need to watch some clips of Star Wars for the next hour and see what I can do in order to face Eddagorn, if I can face him, that is" Steve explained.
"Whatever you do, be careful dude" Jeff said.
"I'm not going to be hurt or what not. I am a bigger Star Wars fan than this Eddagorn jerk guy is. Trust me, he has a weakness. Superman has Kryptonite, Vampires have garlic; I'm pretty sure Eddagorn has one" Steve explained.
"Okay dude, but as much as I want to stay, I'm going to help Hayley out. Take it easy dude" Jeff left his room.
"Take care Jeff" Steve responded as he was left alone in his room. "Okay Steven Anita, it's all up to you."
Cutaway
The tournament moves on after the break, with Eddagorn defeating Toshi's character in a hard fought battle.
"Steve, win this for the both of us! I know you can do it! I believe in you!" his character's eyes closed.
Cutaway Ends
End of Act 2
Act 3
Steve is walking back and forth in his room.
"It's really all up to me now. It's me against the champion. I can't let me friends down. I just can't" he told himself.
Hayley approached to her brother's room while holding baby Mary, who is sleeping.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Hayley, there is this character named Eddagorn Skywalker and he is impossible to beat. I'm supposed to challenge him in the final showdown. He got Jeff, Snot, and Zoey eliminated all in the same day. I want to prove this guy that I'm the better Jedi than he is. I really don't think that is really Luke Skywalker. Something is up. I don't care, as long as I beat this guy!" Steve explained.
"Steve, it's just a game. However, because you're so interested, maybe I can help you. I know Stars Wars every now and then" Hayley said.
"You really will help me?" Steve asked.
"If I do, will you change Mary's diapers for the entire rest of the week?" Hayley suggested.
"You have a deal!" Steve exclaimed.
Later, Steve is in a classroom with Hayley being his teacher. She teaches him the characters, the weapons, the settings, and everything about Star Wars. Steve takes notes and does a mock Star Wars battle with his sister. All this was done to the song "Word Up" by Cameo.
Moments later, Steve logs into his computer.
Cutaway
"The final battle is here! We have Eddagorn Skywalker versus Stevanita Skywalker. This is a battle of not only the better Skywalker, but also the better Jedi!" Palpatine announced.
(Cheering)
"Go Steve!" Jeff's characters, along with the rest of the eliminated characters arrived, cheering for Steve.
"I can't believe you guys are here! This is awesome!" Steve cheered.
"You're going down Skywalker" Eddagorn shouted.
"No, you are" Stevanita talked back as the two took out their light sabers and attacked nonstop.
"Boy, this is going to be an interesting match huh?" Palpatine commentated as the two Skywalkers are going back and forth at each other.
"Face it; I'm better at Star Wars than you ever will be" Eddagorn said.
"Oh yeah, did you see the Star Wars Christmas Special?" Stevanita asked.
"Yeah but is it important?" Eddagorn asked back.
"How about episode 1: the Phantom of the Menace? Or episode 2: Attack of the Clones, which nobody liked?" Stevanita asked.
"What about them?" Eddagorn questioned.
"Face it, the first two are better!" Stevanita exclaimed.
"The newest one will be even better! Eddagorn shouted back.
"I never thought I have to come to this but bring in the worms" Stevanita announced as a bunch of invisible worms arrived.
"Is this supposed to scare me?" Eddagorn asked.
"Watch and see" Stevanita said as the worm popped up and attacked Eddagorn with their beam attack.
"Oww! Oww! That's not fair! Oh yeah!" Eddagorn suddenly turns invisible and the worm attacks do nothing to him anymore.
"Damn it!" Stevanita cursed, but suddenly smiled for a bit.
"What the hell are you smiling at son?" Eddagorn asked.
"Oh I think you are the best Jedi there is. Maybe you're the bigger expert than I am. You know, I'm more of a Star Trek guy than Star Wars. Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead. I guess you can claim your three-peat as the best Jedi in this tournament. Congratulations! Before you pick up your crown, you may want to check the energy source of your red light saber" Stevanita explained.
"So…no! I have no power! You tricked me, you bastard!" Eddagorn shouted as his weapon went out of power.
"Now, for my final attack!" Steve launches a powerful light saber attack to Eddagorn. This is done to the theme song of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.
"Wrong song choice, pen!" Stevanita shouted as he broke the forth wall, but nevertheless, he attacked Eddagorn and defeated him once and for all!
"We did it! We won! We're free!" Steve cheered.
Cutaway Ends
The mysterious hands revealed to be…Eddie Walker from Family Guy: OC Universe.
"How did this guy beat me? He better not be those noobs who spent all day online. I only play two hours a day! Oh well, that's it for computer games for today. I'm sure I'll beat this guy one day. Amy, do you want to play soccer?" Eddie asked his sister.
Cutaway
Everyone is surrounding Stevanita Skywalker.
"You did it boyfriend!" Princess Wilson Zo cheered as she kissed him on the cheek.
"Thanks everyone for believing me" Stevanita cheered as he approached towards Eddagorn. The two shook hands in signs of respect and Eddagorn leaves.
"Congratulations to Stevanita on being the best Jedi there is!" Palpatine announced.
(Cheering)
Cutaway Ends
"Another one bites the dust, huh guys?" Steve asked as he turned off his computer.
"At least you did not get fat, so thank you for that" Zoey said.
"You did well, my fellow Jedi" Hayley said.
"Thanks Hayley, I should have used the force, but maybe next time" Steve responded.
"What are you going to do now Steve?" Zoey asked.
"Play the game" Steve answered.
"What do you mean play the game?" Hayley asked.
"You know, play like a normal space opera game before the tournament started" Steve explained.
(Phone rings)
(Credits roll)
"Hello? Hi Eddie" Steve answered his phone call.
"Steve, do you like Star Wars?" Eddie asked.
"Yes I do! How about you?" Steve asked.
"It's amazing! Have you played Star Wars: The Road to Jedi Master? It's awesome. You should try it out! My character Eddagorn Skywalker got my butt kicked by this stupid character named Stephen Anita Skywalker the 2nd. Want to team up together to beat this guy?" Eddie asked.
"I never played it, but sure why not?" Steve agreed. "Give me a sec" he hangs up the phone for a bit.
"Oh shit! I need to start all over again or else Eddie will hate me!" Steve panicked. "I know.
Cutaway
Eddagorn Skywalker is teamed up with a new character that Steve made.
"Call me Steve Solo" Steve said.
Cutaway Ends
Ends of Act 3