It's a beautiful day in Rosewood, its pristine reputation is still intact, unblemished by murders and cover-ups. The breeze is warm and the sky is clear. It is the picture perfect day.
Emily washes her face, pats it down with a towel. She stares herself in the mirror and turns to get a look at her body. She's toned, muscular, but soft and delicate. Her skin is baby smooth, as she removes all of her body hair for swimming. She leaves her house in the morning with a sense of insecurity, thinking somehow this isn't who she should be.
She walks over to Toby's house, knocks on his door. She sees him from the upstairs window.
"I'll be down in a sec Em." He calls out.
"Okay." Emily says quietly.
She sits on Toby's front steps with a blank expression as Jenna steps out of the house.
"Oh, hello Emily."
"Hi Jenna, you aren't walking with us to school?"
"No...my friend is giving me a ride, there she is."
Just as Jenna leaves Toby opens the door with a smile. He gives Emily a hug.
"Who was that with your sister?"
"Oh, that's Shana. Jenna's girlfriend."
Emily's heart starts to race a little, girlfriend? No one in Rosewood is 'out.'
"Really? I hadn't heard." Emily says, casually.
"My sister's a private person. Now come on, we're gonna be late."
The whole walk Emily is distracted. Toby talks about this movie he watched but Emily is unfocused, she wants him to speak more about Jenna. Thinking there isn't anyone like you is torture. Emily is terrified of how she feels about girls, about one girl. Ali.
They get to school and Ali is at her locker, sticking up some new pictures for the school year. She unconsciously runs her fingers across a picture where she is kissing Emily's cheek.
She starts walking towards the cafeteria to get a yogurt before class when she bumps into Emily.
"Well good morning." Emily says, laughing.
"Come on Em, I was just going to get something to eat."
They walk in to the cafeteria and each get a yogurt, sitting down together. None of the other girls are here yet, so it's just her and Ali.
"Where is everyone this morning?" Emily says.
"Caleb's staying in Hanna's basement so they have to wait until her mom leaves, and Aria and Spencer are together, I think."
"So why'd you come here so early?"
"I knew you'd be here. I like it when it's just the two of us." Ali says, smiling.
"Yeah, me too."
"So I was thinking that there haven't been any great parties lately, and that we should totally throw one." Ali says.
"That sounds like fun, where can we have it?"
"My parents are going to leave to go to some wine-tasting old people thing so it'll be just me and Jason, and he won't care what we do. You should sleep over after."
Emily smiles, her heart beating a little fast. A party and a sleepover? She's just happy she's going to get to spend so much time with Ali.
5 days. That's how long Emily has to wait for the party. She loves the idea of alcohol and Ali. Thinking that that's the only way anything would probably ever happen with them again any way.
xxx
Ali and Emily had kissed before, but it was 2 years ago and they hadn't spoken about it since. Emily had been too scared to bring it up because Ali's reaction was pretty straight-forward. They were at the kissing rock, spray-painting their initials.
"See. Now we'll be best friends forever." Ali had said.
They both crossed their legs on the rock, facing each other, making wishes by blowing on wilted dandelions.
"What would you wish for Em?" Ali said, twirling the stem in between her fingers.
Emily didn't say a word, just leaned in and pressed her lips to Ali's, softly and innocently. When she pulled away Ali smiled, and then started talking about this boy she liked. Emily was heartbroken, but she never questioned Ali's feelings for her again. She wanted her, more than anything, but she suffered in silence, enjoying their friendship as much as she could - because she knew it was all she'd ever get.
xxx
Saturday morning came and Emily woke up still tired from the night before. She stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling. Finally she decided to text Toby.
Can you come over? I need to talk to you.
Toby replied within minutes.
Coming now.
She opened the door for him downstairs and led him up to her bedroom.
"Okay, you're the only person I can talk to about this because you're the only person that seems okay with it."
"Spill it Em, what's going on?"
"I'm...like Jenna."
"What do you mean?"
"I like girls." Her voice straining on the last word.
"I know."
"What do you mean, you know?"
"I've seen the way you look at her, you forget how much I notice things Emily."
"The way I look at who?" Emily needs confirmation, to finally hear it from someone other than herself.
"Alison." Toby says.
He sits on the bed next to Emily and grabs her hand.
"I've known for a while...well thought it. I think that's kind of why me and you can be such good friends, because it doesn't get complicated."
"Plus you like Spencer." Emily says, swatting playfully at Toby's arm.
"Yes, well there's that too."
Emily's eyes water a little, feeling a sense of relief. She's glad she has this, someone who won't judge her.
xxx
Later that night, there are kegs and bottles and a pit of stoners in the backyard. Everyone is a little drunk, a little flirty, having a great time. Ali is an incredible host, she lights up the room and is talkative with everyone, even some of the "geeks" who showed up uninvited.
Downstairs in the basement, splayed out on couches surrounding a coffee table, Caleb and Hanna are drunk in love, ignoring the world. Aria and her older boyfriend from Hollis, Ezra, are in their own world marveling over Ali's parents old film collection. Toby is even chatting up Spencer, who is nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.
Ali and Emily are sitting on the couch, Emily a little bit stoned and a little bit tipsy.
"How much did you smoke kiddo?" Ali asks.
"Just a few hits, I'm fine actually, just super tired."
"It's a party, perk up, have another shot with me." Ali insists.
She licks Emily's hand and pours a bit of salt on it, and does the same for herself. Emily just stares at her tongue, her gaze frozen.
"Cheers." Ali says, throwing her head back.
Emily takes the shot and bites in to the lime, liking the sour flavor. Ali looks at her and slumps down on to her shoulder.
"Who am I kidding? I'm tired too. Everyone will leave soon and we'll sleep ok?" Ali says.
She takes Emily's hand in to hers and strokes it with her thumb. She loves the way Ali reaches for her, being close to her is what makes this night special. They're both a little drunk, and neither of them say anything, just cuddle there on the couch, fingers intertwined with the music blaring around them, not even picking their heads up when people call their names.