I do not own American Dad! I only own my OC Zoey Wilson.
Opening Act
BREAKING NEWS
"Local news today, there is a heat wave attacking Langley Falls tonight. I advise you guys to use fans only. Last time the city suffered from a blackout for two whole weeks. We don't want that again" Greg announced.
"That's interesting Terry because we happen to wear our swimsuits today!" Terry cheered as they wore blue swimsuits in place of their dress pants and they strip off their shirts and they go swimming on the beach.
"Oh what the hey too?" the cameraman strips naked as he goes swimming with Greg and Terry. (A/E His privates are blurred.)
End of Opening Act
Act 1
The scene starts off with a newspaper in front of the Smith household. It reads "Heat Wave to break record today with 110 degrees". The letters of the ink melt.
Inside, we see Steve waking up in his bed, clad in white briefs.
"It's so hot in here! If only Dad would simply turn on the air conditioner" he said.
Stan is also woken up while wearing white briefs.
"Francine, where are you?" he asked while standing up.
"Behind you Stan" Francine said as she is stuck behind her husband, clad in her pink nightie.
Inside Hayley's room, Jeff is also waking up in white briefs as well.
"Babe, where are you?" he said while standing up.
"I'm behind you babe" Hayley is stuck behind her husband's back as well, clad in white bra and panties.
(Crying)
They get free as they saw baby Mary crying while wearing only her diaper.
"My God, it's so hot in here! My dad says that air conditioning will triple our energy bill. Shaking my head" Hayley complains as she comforts her sobbing baby girl.
Klaus and Roger are...doing just fine.
"Thank God we're immune to heat waves Roger!" the goldfish cheered as they are hanging out at Roger's attic.
"I am never cold or hot! How do you like them apples?" the alien asked as he sliced some apples.
At the Wilsons household, Zoey is woken up, while wearing her pink pajamas and covered with blankets.
"Thank God my daddy has the strongest air conditioning ever!" she cheered.
Later, the Smiths are dressed in their normal outfits as they sit in front of a fan as it spins around.
"Guys, we need to do something fun. We can't go to the beach because of a lot of shootings going on" Stan suggested.
"Dad, let's go buy an air conditioner. I'm sure there are some that are energy efficient" Hayley thought.
"Hayley I'm sorry, but those things drain our income. We can't do that" Stan refused.
"Well maybe we can beg Zoey if we can chill out at her house" Steve suggested.
"Son, I will not make Michael be better than me. Nice try. Grr I don't like you guys, let's go. We're going to Steve's girlfriend's house" Stan announced as the rest of the family cheered and left.
Later, they arrive in front of the house, but Zoey and her parents are packing stuff in their car.
"Hi Zoey, where are you guys going?" Steve asked.
"Hi Steve, we're going to Richmond to spend the weekend. It's going to be so much fun" Zoey answered.
"Hi Stanford, would you like to come with us?" Zoey's dad suggested.
"Don't ever call me Stanford, but yes! Will it keep us cool?" Stan asked.
"Will yes convince you guys to come?" Zoey's mom asked back.
"Yes!" Stan cheered.
"All right, here's the direction to get there. I have complimentary passes for you guys to get in. Pack some stuff and we'll see you there" Mr. Wilson said as he and his family got inside the car and left.
Moments later, as the Smiths finished packing and drove off; they arrived at the destination where Zoey and her parents will be.
"Welcome to the Richmond Country Club. Do you have the passes?" a butler in a black suit asked.
"Here you go" Stan said as he shows him the passes and they enter inside. There was a golf course, pool, hot tub, buffet, arcade, and many buildings with air conditioning.
"Is this paradise?!" Roger cheered. He is disguised as a lady with blonde wig and purple dress with matching heels.
"Yes it is. I wonder how Zoey and her family got here" Steve wondered.
"Hi everybody! I brought all of you some fruit punch" Zoey arrived while carrying a tray with cups of fruit punch with ice as each Smith took one. Her parents join with her.
"Thank you so much for inviting us here Zoey. I am so glad to have an exciting weekend" Steve said.
"Anytime babe; I'm happy to help you guys" Zoey added with a smile.
"Well you kids go have fun. The rest of us will hang out at the pool. Smell you later" Stan said as he and the rest of the Smiths and Zoey's parents left the scene.
"Hey, who are they?" Steve asked as they saw a couple holding hands while carrying golf equipment. There was a girl with long blonde hair wearing a white blouse, matching skort, tennis shoes, and a cap. The guy also had blonde hair, but is wearing a gray polo and capri shorts with black sneakers.
"We can go say hi if you want" Zoey suggested as she and Steve approached them.
"Hi guys, I'm Steve and this is my girlfriend Zoey" Steve introduced.
"I'm Samuel and this is my longtime girl pal Zelda" Samuel introduced himself. (A/E He is voiced by Ansel Elgort.)
"Nice to meet you all" Zelda said. (A/E She is voiced by Shailene Woodley.)
"Are you guys here to golf?" Zoey wondered.
"Yeah but we don't golf with losers!" Samuel taunted.
"What did you just say to us?!" Steve shouted.
"Oh relax, he talks like this all the time. It's his bad habit" Zelda explained.
"A bad habit that needs a knuckle sandwich!" Steve fists his hand as Zoey tries to control him.
"Get a hold of yourself, babe" she pleaded.
"Show us your golfing skills and you can play with us" Samuel suggested.
"I like where this is going" Steve agreed with the idea.
"Great, I'll see you guys later" Zelda said as she and her friend left.
"Steve, have you played golf?" Zoey asked.
"What? I thought you already know" Steve answered.
"I only see old people playing golf, but I never played it" Zoey confessed.
"Don't worry. It won't be too hard" Steve said.
"Hey guys, you want to come skinny dipping with us? Your moms are taking off their bikinis already!" Roger cheered as he appeared from out of nowhere.
"Not no Roger" Steve snapped.
"Oh man, I had them" the alien left them alone.
End of Act 1
Act 2
Steve and Zoey are at the arcade, playing Ultimate Marvel versus Capcom.
"What do they have against us?" Steve wondered as his Iron Man attacks his girlfriend's Jill Valentine.
"I don't know. I'm guessing they're scared!" Zoey shouted.
"I wonder why. Okay let's not get carried away. Are you sure you never played golf before?" Steve asked.
"I am very sure babe. Besides, it's kind of boring, don't you think?" Zoey asked back.
"We can try, but don't expect us to be pros the first time" Steve suggested.
"Okay that's not a bad idea. By the way, I kicked your ass again!" Zoey cheered as she beat him in the fighting video game.
"Never again" Steve laughs.
Meanwhile, they arrive at a golf course, carrying equipment.
"Okay Zoey, I'm no Tiger Woods but the first rule of golfing..." Steve is interrupted.
"...is not to mention the rules of golfing" Zoey answered.
"We need to stop watching Brad Pitt movies" Steve snapped.
"I'm sorry. I'll be good" Zoey said.
"Hey guys, whatcha doing?" Samuel and Zelda arrive.
"We're going to practice golf. That's what we're doing" Steve answered.
"Are you guys done (bleep)-ing already?" Zoey asked.
"Excuse me?!" Zelda screamed.
"Sorry, my girlfriend has Tourette's" Steve explained as his girlfriend glared at him.
Meanwhile, Stan and Michael are sitting next to each other in beach chairs. They see their wives swimming.
"Doesn't my wife look hot in her pink bikini?" Mr. Wilson asked.
"Yeah but nothing beats my wife and that gorgeous green bikini" Stan rebutted.
"I'm sorry but your wife is way too old to be hot" Michael argued.
"Excuse me? Your wife is way too young to be hot" Stan snapped.
"My wife is 38 years old" Michael rebutted.
"What?! How the hell can she have a 17 year old daughter and she's not even 40?!" Stan shouted.
"I'm not even 40 either sir. I'm 39" Michael added.
"My God, maybe you're right. Why don't we have a wife-off?" Stan suggested.
"What's that?" Michael asked.
"It's a simple drinking contest. Whoever's wife survives is the hotter wife" Stan explained.
"You're on sir" Michael agreed as he shook hands with Stan.
Later, Steve and Zoey are practicing hitting golf balls.
"Okay remember, not too hard and not too soft" Zoey explained.
"Like this?" Steve asked as he struck the golf ball, only to land in a bowl of punch at the buffet.
"Watch me" Zoey explains as she hits the golf ball with her club and it is 2 inches shy of the hole.
"Nice job babe" Steve complimented.
"Thanks, I haven't played but I watched them play" Zoey said with a smile.
"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Roger said as he appeared.
"Roger, we're golfing right now. Do you mind?" Steve asked.
"Not at all Steven; hey everybody, there's a golf match going on" the alien announced as a bunch of people showed up.
"What the hell Roger? This is a private practice, not a competition" Steve argued.
"Oh relax Steven, I'm just here to say have fun" Roger explained.
The couple continues to do their golfing. However, they continue to get worse as they struck the ball. We see the golf balls land in various areas, just as the pool, the desserts section at the buffet, the roof of the Smiths' SUV, and at the busy streets.
"(Laughs) Steve sucks so much, just like his girlfriend!" Roger taunted as Steve chases after him, but Zoey stops him.
"Don't listen to him. He can't golf either. He's too busy crying to his mama every night" Zoey told her boyfriend.
"This is for you Roger!" Steve swings at the golf ball as it goes extremely far.
"I wonder where it will land" he wondered.
Meanwhile, a clown is entertaining little kids.
"Simon says: touch your head" he said as the kids did what he told them.
"Simon says: shake your hips" he gives out another instruction.
"Simon says: OWW! MY BALLS!" he cried in pain as the golf ball hits his nards.
"OWW! MY BALLS!" the kids mimicked as well.
The scene shifts back to the gold course.
"Well that answered my question (laughs)" Steve told himself.
"Man you guys suck! Hey everybody look, Steve and Zoey are the New York Knicks of golfing" Samuel taunted as he and his friend show up.
(Audience laughing)
Steve grinds his teeth and it looks like he wants to beat him up.
"Steve stop; you're going to get kicked out" Zoey pleaded.
"Hey guys, we're just practicing on how not to suck like you guys!" Steve taunted.
(Audience oohing)
"You think you're funny Steven?" Samuel asked.
"Sammy please" Zelda begged.
"Let's make things a little interesting. If you guys win, we'll wear any stupid costume you want us to wear for the rest of the day" Steve suggested.
"If you win, only if, in which it won't happen, we will…buy you guys cheeseburgers" Samuel suggested.
"You're on" Steve said as the two guys shake each other's hand.
"Show's over folks" Zelda said as people started leaving and she and Samuel left also.
"Steve, do you know what you're doing?" Zoey asked.
"Not at all, I'm so sorry. I understand if you want to dump me if we lose. I'm willing to take the risk" Steve cried.
"Don't worry about it. We'll figure something out" Zoey said.
"Hey guys come quickly; yo mamas are going to battle each other to see who the hottest mom is ever!" Roger said as he reappeared.
"Sure Roger but first…" Steve said as he kicked the alien in the nards.
"OWW! What did I do wrong? I just wanted to bring laughs to these fine innocent people! I don't deserve any of this!" Roger cried.
"Are you done?" Zoey asked.
"Yes" the alien answered as Zoey kicked him in the nards too.
"Not you two, you stupid bitch! You guys owe me new testicles! I'm serious!" Roger whined in severe pain.
"Once you stop flopping, you can join us later" Steve said as he and his girlfriend left him in pain.
End of Act 2
Act 3
Francine and Kat are about to drink so many shots.
"Kick her ass Francine!" Stan cheered.
"You got this Kat! Remember how drunk you got at your bachelorette party!" Michael cheered as well.
The ladies each took one shot.
(Audience cheering)
They kept on drinking and drinking.
"My body is hotter than yours!" Kat argued.
"My body is hotter than yours!" Francine mimicked.
"Show her who's boss Franny!" Stan cheered.
"Don't listen to them Katty" Michael encouraged.
"Let's get out of here and practice" Zoey suggested as she and Steve left.
Francine suddenly vomits.
(Audience groaning)
"Kat win!" Michael cheered but his wife pukes on her husband's chest.
(Audience roaring)
"I lost the battle but won the war!" Stan cheered as Zoey's parents left to go clean up.
After a few hours of practice, Steve and Zoey encounter Samuel and Zelda.
"Are you guys ready to get your asses kicked?" Steve taunted.
"I know you are, but what are we?" Samuel taunted.
"Sammy, knock it off please" Zelda pleaded.
"All right, let's not waste any time and start some golfing" Zoey said as they set up for their match against each other.
"I want those juicy cheeseburgers!" Steve demanded.
"We will, trust me" Zoey explained.
Later, Francine and Kat are wearing robes while crossing their arms and glaring at their husbands.
"What…the (bleep)…was this?!" Francine shouted.
"Why did you make us compete against each other? We're good friends!" Kat snapped.
"I'm sorry Francine. I wanted to show you that you're still one hot lady, despite your age difference with Kat. I know it's wrong to make you do this but deep down, I really care about you" Stan apologized.
"I'm sorry too Kat. I want to show him that age was only a number. I hope you can forgive me" Michael apologized as well.
"We forgive you" Francine and Kat accepted their husbands' apologies.
"Thanks you guys, but who is the hottest wife ever?" Stan wondered.
"That will be my wife, Mr. S" Jeff said as he and Hayley walk up, wearing swimsuits as Hayley is holding her daughter. Hayley has a purple bikini and Jeff has blue swim trunks. Baby Mary is wearing only her diaper.
"No fair, she's not even 25!" Stan argued.
"Why don't we call this a draw and we'll get drunk together?" Michael suggested.
"I like where this is going" Stan said as the gentlemen left.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey and Samuel and Zelda are head to head with each other in front of a group of people. The game is very close. Steve and Zoey have each golf ball one inch away from going inside the hole. Samuel and Zelda only have a quarter of an inch away from going in the hole.
"This is it ladies and gentlemen, if Samuel and Zelda each make it inside, they will win this match. Samuel will take the shot...and it goes far away from the hole" the commentator said.
(Audience groaning)
"It's Zelda's turn...and she misses the hole too" the commentator added.
(Audience groaning)
"They choked! They choked! Steve and Zoey will need to convert the balls inside the holes and they'll win" the commentator said.
"This is it" Steve slightly hits the ball...and it barely goes inside the hole.
(Audience cheering)
"Steven did it! Should Zoey miss, Samuel and Zelda will have another chance to win the game" the commentator said.
"All up to me now" Zoey said as she slightly hits the ball...but the wind pushed the ball to aside, yet it ricochets back to the hole and went inside.
(Audience cheering)
"Congratulations to Steve and Zoey. They will win their cheeseburgers. If you guys don't mind, I need to do the m-word!" the commentator cheered as he turned off the microphone."We won! Zoey, we did it!" Steve cheered as he grabs his girlfriend and spins her around.
(Audience cheering)
"I am so proud of you darling!" Zoey exclaimed as she kisses him on the lips.
"Well you guys, what can I say? You proved us wrong" Samuel said as he offered a handshake.
"Thanks man" Steve shakes his hand.
"You guys don't suck after all. If you ever want to play again, give us a call" Zelda said as she gives them their business card.
"Take care, you guys!" Steve waved as the couple left. He and his girlfriend walk away.
"Wait, what about our cheeseburgers?" Steve asked as Zelda gave him and Zoey the two cheeseburgers they promised. The couple consumes them.
"Man these are good" Zoey said.
"They are babe" Steve said as the two kiss after eating.
The next day, the Smiths and the Wilsons are packing up to go back home.
"Will we ever come here again someday?" Steve asked.
"Son, as long as Mr. Wilson think it's okay, we are definitely coming back. In the meantime, who wants to go pick out an air conditioner?" Stan suggested as the Smith family cheered.
"Dad, may I ride with Zoey at her car please?" Steve begged as Stan nodded and he went inside his girlfriend's car.
"Hi Steve, I'm so glad you could join me. What a day, huh?" Zoey asked.
"It was a lot of fun. I realized they sound familiar. It's like they appeared in one movie as a couple and another as brother and sister. Weird huh?" Steve wondered as he broke the fourth wall.
"I'm sure they're somewhere" Zoey laughed.
(Credits roll)
"You know Zoey? I never noticed how much golf was that hard" Steve said.
"I guess we can consider ourselves to be a power couple" Zoey said.
"Let's not get carried away with that (laughs)" Steve chuckled.
"Steve, remember that one ball you hit so hard? I wonder where it landed" Zoey wondered as we see the golf ball landing at...the inside of Cleveland's house through the roof.
"Hey Donna look, it's a present from outer space!" Cleveland cheered as he picked up the golf ball.
(Crashing sound)
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Cleveland Jr. falls on the grass in his tub.
"(Laughs) in your face pen!" Cleveland cackled.
End of Act 3
There you have it ladies and gentlemen. In the weeks to come, there will be one where I will create my version of "Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses", a story episode involving my version of the episode of The Simpsons where they go to the Super Bowl, welcoming a new OC, a Wheels and the Legman episode, a two-part episode, and more to come. See you next week folks.