I've spent the afternoon trying to get this chapter right, so I hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews left so far.

"Hi." Harry jerked his head up, looking at Ruth. She'd lifted the mask from her mouth and she looked very tired. But she was speaking.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, relieved to see her awake.

"Like I've been hit by a truck," she said. Fear filled her face for a few moments before she spoke. "Am I…?"

"The baby's fine," he said, correctly reading her worry and pushing down his jealousy.

"I am so sorry," she said, shaking her head before breathing in through the mask.

"For what?" he asked, though he had a shrewd idea.

"For telling you I was… pregnant before, when I thought I was dying. I shouldn't have ever done that. It was so selfish of me." She shook her head. Harry didn't know what to say. "I'd wanted to tell you before, but I couldn't find the right words or the right time."

"I understand that," he said. "But when you think you're dying is most certainly the wrong time." Her lips twitched at that.

"Point taken."

"Ruth, it's probably none of my business, but I'm… I have to know. Who?"

"Harry…"

"I have to know," he repeated.

"No one important," she said.

"Ruth," he said, and he knew a warning tone was in his voice but he couldn't help it. "You can't do this to me."

"An old friend from University," she said. "It's unimportant."

"How could you sleep with someone else?" he asked before he could stop himself. He knew she was recovering from a stab wound but he couldn't help himself.

"You put me on a pedestal, sometimes Harry," she said. "Sometimes I get the impression that you think I don't have human failings. I was lonely, unbearably lonely, Harry. And I made a mistake."

"You need to keep breathing into the mask," he said, not unkindly. She put it back to her face for a few moments.

"Do you remember, about ten days before the inquiry finally sat, you were on suspension. You called me and…"

"I remember," he interrupted. He had wanted to protect her, but in hindsight, pushing her away probably wasn't the best move. He shouldn't have made that phone call. He thought he was heading to prison for Albany and thought it would be best in the long run if Ruth simply stopped talking to him. Disassociated from him completely. So he'd made a terse, rather harsh phone call.

"You ignored me for nearly two weeks after that," she said. "Until the inquiry. I… well, I was lonely. And I needed someone to talk to. When an old friend wanted to see me, I made a mistake," she repeated. She sighed before continuing.

"Harry, I don't think you realise how much your actions can hurt me. That call you made to me when you were suspended, telling me so clinically that we couldn't even talk any more. The weeks of this Elena business with you not once explaining to me anything about it." She ran out of air and returned to the mask for a few moments. "You've hurt me with your indifference over the last few weeks. Which is why I couldn't exactly find a good time to tell you I was pregnant."

"It's not indifference," he said, squeezing her hand. "I'm trying to protect you from the worst of me. Because if you see that, me at my worst, then you probably wont want me."

"You're not an easy man to love, Harry. If I was the kind of woman to run at the first sign of trouble, I wouldn't be here, still wanting you."

There's silence in the room apart from the beeping of Ruth's machines. "Knowing you were pregnant, why did you ask me to leave the service with you?" he asked.

"I needed to know, in something other than conversations never finished, and glances held too long, whether you wanted us to work. Properly. And yes, I probably should have told you before hand." Harry stared at her.

"Probably?"

"Definitely. It doesn't change how I feel, it just makes things…"

"Complicated," he said. "Yes, just a little."

She sighed then took a deep breath. Then cringed when she realised how much that hurt, clutching her side.

"Ruth?" he asked in concern, wondering if he should get a doctor.

"I shouldn't have done that," she gasped. "Damn, breathing hurts."

"Put the mask back on." She did, but kept one hand on her chest.

"I don't want to upset you, Ruth," he said. "Especially after all you've been through, but I need time." She nodded as he thought very carefully, weighing his words before he spoke them. "I'm just hearing this, about the baby and you've had… some time to come to terms with it." He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at her as he carried on. "I don't know if I can cope with being with you, when you're pregnant with someone else's child. I don't want to lie to you, and tell you it'll be fine when I don't know it will be, and I…" He sighed heavily. "I don't want to tell you I can handle it, then a few months down the line… realise I can't."

"That's fair," she said, though her eyes looked incredibly sad. "Just don't leave me waiting forever."

He forced a smile. "I'm... relieved and pleased to see you awake." She smiled at that and he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'll come and see you tomorrow. Get some rest." She nodded and he felt guilty for leaving her in hospital, but he had to. He needed some space, some time to think. "There's a picture," he said, indicating the ultrasound which she hadn't noticed, as since waking up she hadn't taken her eyes off of Harry. She picked it up, looked at it and smiled, then looked at Harry.

"Thank you."

More soon, thanks for reading.