Rewritten version.
Chapter 3: Complex Emotions and Dodge ball
Sora had never felt so out of place in his own school as he did that Monday. And at this point that was kind of saying a lot. There were still bandages over his arms - that had been a fun story to explain to his mother, who had promptly scheduled another trip to the psychiatrist today which Sora was less than happy about. He wore a turtleneck to cover the fading bruises ringing his neck, very glad it was cool enough to do so without suffering the heat.
He was quiet that day, unable to muster the energy that usually never left him. All his friends kept sending him worried glances as they noticed his lack of speech, yet none of them confronted him. He wondered if they were afraid, too. But for once, he didn't really care. His mind wasn't focused on the world around him anyway.
His thoughts continuously looped back to that night at Riku's house. There was a deep foreboding once again building in his chest, only this time it was much worse than it had been that day and truth be told, he was terrified. The worst part was, there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
In an attempt to distract himself from the downward spiral of pessimism, Sora mentally reviewed the few techniques he had learned from Riku. The older teen took to his role as trainer seriously, and had given Sora a crash course starting in defensive maneuvers. He threw his all into teaching Sora, genuinely worried for his friend's safety, and they agreed to meet every day after school for more lessons. Unfortunately, nothing was enough to pull Sora's thoughts completely away from the tight knot of worry curling at the bottom of his stomach.
By the time the bell rang for lunch, Sora was becoming restless and fidgety, and he felt as if he'd been trapped in this building for days, rather than a few hours. After getting some minimally desirable food form the lunch line, he took his normal spot at a round table near the window with his friends, though his gaze strayed mostly past them and to the sky outside. It was getting cloudy. He picked at his food until Riku arrived a few minutes later and took an open seat across from Sora.
The atmosphere at the table was tense that day, much to the discomfort of its regular occupants. Sora stared out the window, not once taking a bite of his food as he stirred it around with a fork, and Kairi refused to look up from her own plate for more than a second, eating with a persistent, somewhat contemplative pout on her face. Riku's concerned gaze was mostly focused on the tense boy across from him, though occasionally it strayed toward Kairi and he wondered what was wrong with her too. Tidus, Selphie and Yuffie, the other group members that shared a lunch with them, were all unusually silent in the wake of such awkward tension between the normally casual and boisterous trio.
"So..." Tidus started awkwardly in an attempt to break the silence. He hated silence. "What's going on, guys? You're all...really quiet. It's kinda weird."
Kairi continued to stare at her plate and said nothing. Sora flicked his gaze in Tidus' direction, a look of consideration in his eyes. Riku opened his mouth to say something - anything really - but to everyone's surprise, Sora was the one that gave an answer. Although that answer was far from what anyone expected.
A chuckle bubbled up through the brunet's lips. And then, much to the table's confusion, he was laughing. It wavered, edging on hysterical should Sora become any more frazzled than he was right now. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes, all wondering what the boy suddenly found so funny.
Finally, after a few moments, and collecting a couple stares from nearby tables as well, he quieted down, a frown now turning the corners of his lips the other direction. "Tidus..." Sora started, though his gaze swept over the entire table. "There's nothing going on you want to know about. Ignorance is bliss, man. Don't ruin that for yourself." And with that vague answer, Sora stood, emptied his untouched tray into the trash can, and once again left the cafeteria before lunch was finished, leaving yet another awkward silence in his wake.
Slowly, gazes were drawn back to the center of the table, as three of the five left looked to each other for answers.
Kairi was the one to break the moment, standing sharply and grabbing hold of Riku's arm to haul him to his feet. She dragged him out of the cafeteria without a word or backward glance to the rest of the table.
Riku contemplated stopping and asking what this was about - it would take little effort to overpower the obviously aggravated girl - but she seemed rather intent on something, and he decided it would be easier to go along for now. After towing him through several hallways, Kairi burst through a side door into one of the lesser used and out-of-the-way courtyards. It had a small garden-like area in the back with a couple trees, and three benches placed around a small fountain. Riku only had time to briefly wonder why this courtyard didn't get more visitors before he was roughly pushed onto one of the stone benches.
Muttering a small oof at the unexpected contact, Riku glared at his offender. "Geez, Kairi, if you wanted me to sit, you could've asked," he grumbled, crossing his arms and wondering what had gotten into the girl.
Kairi didn't respond, distracted as she was by her own thoughts. She whirled around and pinned Riku with an inquisitive - if not a little accusatory - stare. "What's going on, Riku?"
Riku blinked a couple of times, not entirely sure what she was expecting from him. "You brought me all the way out here just to ask me that?"
Kairi huffed and sat on the bench next to his. He wondered why she decided to sit so far away. "I know that the others aren't as involved with Sora's...well, you know..."
She paused awkwardly, as if she wanted to continue but was stumbling over the words. Riku decided to continue for her, because the way she said that caused indignation for his friend to rise instantly in his chest, surprising even himself. But he didn't question it as he asked, "Sora's what?" He kept his tone calm, but it still came out colder than normal, and Kairi looked up, eyes widened slightly.
"Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about, Riku!" she said, purposely evasive.
The silveret's voice leveled into a soft growl of warning. "No Kairi. I don't know. Sora's what? Problem? Condition? ...Illness?" Each word rose a little in pitch and volume, and suddenly Riku found himself standing, his arms moving to accentuate each description.
"Riku!" Kairi stood as well, partly shocked and feeling the need to take the defensive. "I just want to know what's going on! Sora won't talk to me anymore, and I know you know something! You're the only one he'll really let get close to him anymore!"
"Well maybe he has a good reason if you're going to be so pushy!" He wasn't yelling, but he wasn't calm either, and in the back of his mind, Riku wondered when he'd become so protective of Sora that he would even stand against Kairi for his sake.
Kairi's jaw dropped slowly, obviously not sure what to make of their pseudo-argument, even though she'd been the one to instigate it. "Don't I have a right to know? Aren't I his best friend too? He should be able to tell me this sort of stuff!"
"I don't know, Kairi...are you?" Riku asked quietly, eyebrow raised as he watched Kairi huff in aggravation, wondering if she might throw a tantrum. While a little unusual, it wouldn't be completely beyond her. "He should be able to, shouldn't he. But you said it yourself: he won't talk to you. And if you act around him as you are right now, then I can't blame him for closing up. Sora is...under a lot of stress. More than anything, he needs support, not accusations or interrogations. He's kind of fragile right now." Riku stopped for a moment, brow furrowed a little as he wondered if that was the right word. "Yes, I do know exactly what's going on. However, I'm not going to be the one to tell you. If you hear it, you hear it from him."
There was a short pause before Riku stood and walked out of the courtyard, leaving Kairi staring after him, lower lip drawn between her teeth as an indecipherable mess of emotions settled in her stomach.
After his dramatic exit from the cafeteria, Sora found himself aimlessly wandering the hallways of the school. He had nowhere specific to go until class started again, so he let his feet take him wherever, while letting his thoughts run free.
What was wrong with him? Honestly, he was beginning to scare himself, laughing like that. It was easy to see the concern in Riku's eyes too, and he wondered what was going to happen from here.
This feeling growing in Sora's heart wouldn't go away. It was a feeling of darkness - at least, that's the best way he could describe it - pressing in around him, constricting him until he could barely breathe.
Sora inhaled deeply, assuring himself he was still standing in the open hallways of his school, which were in fact well-lit and very bright. The darkness felt close, but he also felt, somewhere deep down, a force pushing back with equal strength to keep it at bay. At least for now.
The main question that kept running through his mind about it all was 'what is this darkness?' No matter how many times he pondered over it, he could not come up with an answer. Was there some bigger form to it? Did it even have a tangible form, and were the creatures and that man part of it? How do you fight a shade of something anyway? On that note, was he even supposed to fight it?
With a groan, Sora shook his head in a physical attempt to clear his thoughts. They gave him a headache. But before he could worry any more about it, he was distracted by his friends' voices. Looking up and down the empty hallway, Sora scratched the back of his head in confusion, trying to figure out where they were coming from. Then he noticed an open window not far from him. Sora was a little surprised those windows weren't bolted shut yet, as many times as the staff told the students to stop leaving them open. He walked closer, not expecting to actually find his two best friends standing in the courtyard.
The greater surprise, though, was that it seems he had stumbled upon them in the middle of an argument. He'd walked up just in time to hear Riku raise his voice - frankly a rather rare occurrence. The words Riku chose to describe him caused Sora to frown, even if they were said in his defense. But he set aside the self-disappointment and watched with wide eyes as Riku rather vehemently defended him. But why was he being defended?
Being the generally optimistic boy he was, Sora refused to believe Kairi had suddenly turned against him, or stopped being his friend. Maybe they could sort things out when the world wasn't stood on its head anymore. She would come around. People just had a different way of reacting to things, and he could hardly blame her for being so rash. He had no idea how he would react if he were in her position right now.
He wasn't going to sit around pondering that either, considering he was in the middle of it all anyway. And then Riku's last words hit Sora, leaving him stunned. He stood there by the window, nearly mimicking Kairi's mildly shocked expression as all sorts of emotions flooded him at the gentle tone of Riku's speech. He's fragile...
He didn't want to be fragile. He didn't want to have to be protected.
Kairi's irritated voice broke through his thoughts. "Stupid," she muttered, sitting down again with a huff and dropping her chin into her hands. "Gotta know everything...Riku so cool with your secrets and stuff."
Sora's eyes narrowed and he stepped away from the window. Kairi was upset and rambling and Sora really didn't want to hear what else she might have to say. She was probably just confused, and he hadn't helped with his flat-out rejection to speak with her. He froze for a moment as that thought crossed his mind - that rejection seemed to be part of the reason she was so angry now, but she was taking it out on Riku.
With a heavy feeling in his chest, Sora concluded he was creating the very rift in their friendship he thought he'd felt before. He didn't want to tear his friends apart!
Suddenly feeling extremely claustrophobic, Sora turned on his heel and ran outside, back to the gardens where Riku had given him his first glimpse of hope in a long time. It wasn't a conscious decision - by now his feet just automatically took him there when he was stressed – which, lately, was kind of a lot. He stayed there, contemplating everything in his life right now until it was time for his next class, and never quite dispelling that feeling of guilt for inadvertently pushing his friends apart, and he thought he felt that darkness press a little bit closer.
When the bell rang across the schoolyard, Sora shook himself to clear his mind, and began walking back to class, hands in his pockets and eyes fixed on the ground in front of his feet the whole way.
The young brunet was beginning to wonder if maybe he should've just stayed home from school today, because throughout the rest of the day, Sora's mind was far, far away from his teachers' lectures, and he was able to pay no more mind to them than he had that morning. One of his teachers made the mistake of calling him out in class, only to be frustrated a minute later when the boy would not respond, and ended up giving him detention for the next day, wondering if the boy even realized he'd been punished.
Sora was only vaguely aware of it, and left it to his subconscious to note the event, because he kind of had more important things to worry about. His thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation he'd overheard in the courtyard and to the current situation between the three parts of the trio. Was he really causing such a chasm between his friends? He couldn't let that happen! 'I'll talk to Riku about it this afternoon...' he decided. They could talk before he started his sword-fighting lesson today, and Riku would make everything better, just like he always did.
When the final bell signaled the end of another day at the prison some call school, Sora couldn't have been happier as he jumped and nearly ran from the classroom. He was among the first few students to trickle out the doors of the building, and so decided to wait by a nearby tree for Riku. He hadn't been there more than a couple of minutes before he saw the telltale silver hair exiting the large double doors.
Riku greeted him with a smile, but Sora thought it seemed a little less bright than usual. Most people would say Riku didn't have a bright smile at all, but Sora knew him differently than most. No words were exchanged as they started heading to Riku's house. The only greeting passed between them was when Riku brought his hand up to rest on the back of Sora's neck, using the position to gently steer him from the schoolyard, but not taking his hand away once they were beyond the gates.
The presence of Riku's hand was warm, and Sora found himself blushing at the rather intimate contact, and wondering why it should be so enjoyable. His eyes widened when he felt Riku's thumb ever so gently stroke the back of his neck, sending the lightest of shivers down his spine. Curiously, he looked over to his best friend, trying to read the nearly closed expression in the sea-green eyes. His mind stumbled back to the conversation he'd overheard earlier, and couldn't help but wonder if Riku was thinking about the same thing. He's fragile...
Suddenly feeling awkward, Sora ducked out of Riku's light hold. "Riku..." he whispered, not quite sure what he wanted to say, but feeling the need to break the silence. Before he could actually say anything more, Riku spoke.
"How was your day, Sora?" The question was forced, jerky, and his eyes focused on his pocket as he searched for his keys, as they were only a few more yards away from his front door.
Sora planted his feet, and stared at Riku with a furrowed brow. "Riku...what's wrong?" he asked, voice gentle as he took in the seemingly nervous boy before him. What had happened to calm, collected Riku?
"Nothing's wrong, why do you ask?" he retorted, finally meeting Sora's skeptical blue gaze.
Sora studied him for a moment, watching as his friend's long fingers fiddled with his keys. Riku didn't fidget. He met the taller boy's eyes again. "You're just normally not so...subdued, I guess." And then the emotion he was seeing finally clicked. "You look worried."
Riku opened his mouth to snap back with something sarcastic, to tell Sora he was silly for even thinking such a thing, but when he looked into the honestly concerned eyes of his friend, any indignation or pride he was feeling rushed away like leaves on the wind. He couldn't lie to him. So with a heavy sigh he said instead, "I am worried, Sora." He turned around and opened the door with a soft click as the key easily turned the lock. After they stepped inside, and bags had been set down beside the door, Riku froze as he felt arms encircle his waist from behind.
Sora didn't say a word as he rested his cheek against Riku's back between his shoulder blades. They settled into a comfortable but heavy silence for long moments, before Riku covered Sora's arms lightly with his hands. "Sora...?" he whispered slowly, not quite wanting to break the moment...whatever it was.
The arms around Riku's waist tightened ever so slightly. "I'm sorry," Sora said, his voice barely carrying over Riku's shoulder.
Silver brow furrowed in confusion, Riku quickly twisted himself around in Sora's grasp so they were face to face, and moved his hands up to rest on the smaller boy's shoulders, thumbs just brushing at his neck. "For what?"
Sora's eyes darted to the floor, and he retracted his arms in favor of crossing them across his chest. "You were fighting over me..." He hated the tight coil of guilt that curled in his chest every time he thought of that scene. He didn't remember being so darn sensitive before! "You shouldn't do that."
Frowning at Sora's defeated posture, Riku leaned forward to bump his forehead against the smaller boy's, and left it there as those bright blue eyes flicked up to meet his own. "Why not?" he asked calmly.
Sora swallowed, surprised by the sudden closeness. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but wonder how many girls would be jealous of his position right now - Riku was one of the school's biggest heartthrobs, after all. The rest of his thoughts were devoted to answering Riku's question, though. Sort of. "I..." He licked his lips, gaze unconsciously darting to Riku's own mouth. He couldn't help it; it was almost instinctive at this proximity. "Just...well, it's not worth it," he finally managed to answer, dropping his eyes to the floor again. At least, until Riku shook his shoulders and pulled back.
"That's ridiculous, Sora. You're my best friend! And you're worth a whole lot more than one minor argument."
One corner of Sora's mouth lifted into a small smile, which faded as he leaned forward into Riku, arms still crossed as he buried his face in the boy's chest. "...you won't leave me, right, Riku?"
Warm, strong arms wrapped tightly around Sora's shoulders, and he felt Riku's nose in his hair. "Not on your life," he replied, laying a soft kiss at the crown of Sora's head. No force in the world could make him give up this boy.
They could've been standing there for hours. Maybe it was only a few minutes. Sora didn't know, nor did he really care. He didn't want to move. Riku was safe. Riku was warmth and laughter. Riku was challenges and races and sunny days at the beach. It amazed him how many people called Riku callous and cold-hearted, when all he knew was the teddy bear his friend really was.
Friend. Something about that word seemed wrong, standing here like this, cuddled up against the boy's chest like a lover.
Well, lover was wrong too. Actually that just felt weird. Not that he didn't love Riku. They were just close like brothers! But…even that description felt a little off. Riku had been awfully affectionate since the mending of their friendship, but what lines was he crossing? Heck, what lines was he creating? Sora couldn't say what it was like to be in love, not really. Kairi had been more puppy love when they were younger. Then again, he couldn't tell you what it felt like to love a sibling, either. Interestingly, Sora had always subconsciously compared every potential partner to Riku. Was that normal? Should he even be thinking about this? It was all Riku's fault for turning so...mushy! Not like Sora had been acting much better, but still...it was totally Riku's fault!
"You okay?" the deep, amused voice rumbled in the chest beneath his cheek. Jarred from his thoughts, Sora looked up in surprise, only to see a small smirk directed his way. "Looking kinda serious, there," Riku said, bringing one arm back to poke him in the nose.
Sora stuck out his tongue after failing to dodge the assault on his nose. "I can be serious," he retorted, failing to prove the statement as he tried to bite at Riku's finger when it went after his cheek this time.
Riku laughed and pulled Sora into one more crushing hug before finally letting go. "If you say so," he said as he ruffled Sora's hair, just to get a pout from him. Sora probably had no idea how cute that expression was on him. "Come on!" Riku officially broke the moment with a change in tone and a wave of his hand. "Why don't we start a bit of training now?"
Sora shook his head at the older boy, trying to ignore the jumble of thoughts brought on by Riku's strange behavior. Not to mention the couple of butterflies that had somehow found their way into his stomach. That was really something he didn't want to deal with right now. Or think about. Possibly ever. "Uh...yeah! Coming!" he said finally as he clumsily stood up and ran after his perplexing friend.
When the brunet stepped through the doorway of the training room, Riku tossed him a wooden sword without warning. Sora let out a rather surprised and squeaky yelp, much to his embarrassment, and he fumbled with the sword, batting it from hand to hand until he finally caught it half a foot from the floor. He let out the breath he'd instinctively held when the weapon came flying at him, and looked up to Riku with a pouting glare.
Riku chuckled. He loved messing with Sora; the boy just reacted so nicely. "I think we're gonna have to work on your reflexes to start. You can't win a fight if you can't avoid the strikes coming at you," he said, his amused grin ebbing into a more serious countenance as he slid into teacher mode.
Sora nodded because yeah, they did seem to need a little work. "You're the expert," he muttered, swinging the sword around in slow, somewhat clumsy experimental strokes. He'd pretended sticks were swords before, but never actually tried to fight with a real weapon.
"Right then. We'll start with a game of dodge ball."
"Dodge ball...?" Sora questioned, the tip of his practice sword falling to the ground with a soft thunk as his attention was diverted.
"Well, sort of," Riku replied. "For the first exercise, I just want you to dodge - you can set the sword down for this one - and then you can try to hit the balls back at me with the sword. Think of it as blocking strikes of another weapon. This way we can work on your reflexes and sword handling at the same time," he explained, already starting on a few warm-up stretches.
Sora followed, and they spent a few minutes on the warm-up routine before Riku pulled out a few foam balls from a chest – Sora gave that a mildly perplexed look because, why did Riku even have that? – and started up the practices. Unfortunately for Sora, those did not start out so well.
The very first ball hit him square on the forehead. He really could do nothing but stare stupidly as the object bounced off his face and rolled to a stop a short distance from its victim.
Riku burst out laughing. "Oh my God...Sora! Your..haha... your face!" he gasped out, clutching his stomach and nearly doubling over.
Sora found himself pouting at his friend once more. "Riku...I wasn't ready!" he whined, trying his best to glare at the other boy, even as he started wanting to laugh along with him.
"Sora..." Riku mimicked in the same whining tone as he regained his composure. "An enemy is not going to ask if you're ready. If there's any chance of danger, then you should be ready to fight, or defend yourself. Just think of that as rule number one: never let your guard down."
The brunet sighed and nodded. Riku was right, after all. "Okay..." he muttered in a thoroughly dejected manner.
After a moment's pause, where Riku resisted the urge to go comfort Sora, he tried to lighten the mood again. "Come on, let's give it another go!"
Taking a deep breath, Sora nodded once more and moved into a slightly defensive pose. "Ready," he replied. Except apparently he wasn't. He managed to dodge a few of the balls, but most of them seemed to somehow hit him, no matter how well he thought he had gotten away. "Riku...these balls are attacking me," he stated seriously, throwing Riku off guard as he was readying to throw the next projectile.
Scratching the back of his head in confusion, Riku replied, "Um, that is sort of the point, Sora. Unless you missed the purpose of this exercise?"
Sora shook his head furiously. "No! I mean they're purposely veering off course to attack me even when I dodge them!" he huffed.
"Oh..." Riku said, the small word wavering a little as he bit back a laugh. "Sora, I'm sorry to break this to you, but these things are hardly sentient. I'm pretty sure they're going exactly where I throw them."
But Sora wasn't placated by the light humor. His pout became more defined, and a little more serious. "Then I just suck at this..." he mumbled.
Riku sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wishing a hundred times over for more time. Time to make the past year up to Sora, time to teach him properly... He set down the ball in his hand and walked over to his friend. Standing behind him, he began a gentle massage on the boy's shoulders as he tried to think of a way to get Sora to relax a little. A small smile quirked his lips when Sora practically melted into his touch. "I know it's been...a little crazy for you lately," Sora huffed in disapproval at the understatement, "and that you've been stressed, but right now you need to relax a bit. I think the tension - and your intense focus on dodging - is getting in the way of your natural reflexes. I know you have them; let your body do the work, not your brain. I think it'll help if you try to let them come naturally."
Sora's face twisted up in thoughtfulness, a little of his thinking power gone to the haze of pleasant tingles originating at his shoulders. It was hard to think past the gentle, kneading fingers, and the realization he'd never actually been given a massage. What a time to make that discovery. He had to physically shake himself from the light stupor when Riku spoke up after a moderate pause.
"Don't be discouraged. It's not the end of the world if you don't get something right the first time. Things like this take practice. And that's what we're here for...to practice." He dug in with his thumbs as he finished his sentence, paying extra attention to the rhomboids, feeling the tight muscle between the shoulder blades.
Sora let out a soft, completely involuntary hum of approval. He had no idea he'd been carrying so much tension with him until Riku's hands forced him to notice.
"So, ready to try again, keeping in mind what I said?" Riku asked, eyes glinting with amusement as he watched Sora's eyelids flutter back open, the boy responding with a slow nod. As much as he would've liked to forget about the practice and continue this instead, Riku knew he would too quickly encounter dangerous ground…for the both of them. So with one last affectionate squeeze of Sora's shoulders, he stepped back and watched as the brunet visibly snapped back into the moment.
"Yeah..." he answered a little hesitantly, not quite sure what to make of that particular pep talk. "Yeah, I'll try."
This time, when he found the ball flying swiftly at him once more, he didn't think about it so hard - a task made easier by the buzz in his head reminding him of Riku's talented hands and plotting how he could get him to do that again - and he sidestepped, turning sideways so that the ball whizzed past him harmlessly.
Snapping back to the moment, Sora grinned as he realized his first success, and stuck his tongue out at the evil object, quickly pulling it back in when laughter reached his ears. "Good, Sora!" Riku encouraged, causing Sora to send him a lopsided grin. "Just keep that up!"
And so he did. Sora gained confidence as they continued, and by the end of their little session had dodged nearly everything thrown at him.
"Well done," Riku praised, his eyes nearly glowing in approval. At least, it seemed that way to Sora, and he ducked his head, hoping Riku wouldn't see the blush spreading across his cheeks. "You learn quickly. Who knew?" Riku said with a teasing wink, and Sora was glad for the tone as it allowed him to lose his embarrassment as he made a face at his friend.
After a short water break, they moved on to batting practice, since Riku seemed to think it was the logical next step. Sora shrugged and went along with it since Riku was the teacher here. It started out a little better than the dodging, though it still felt awkward considering Sora was trying to bat with a wooden sword, and Sora had never exactly been good at sports. Surfing was about the extent of his sporting activities, and while he was good at that, it certainly didn't help him here and now.
Riku stepped forward after a few clumsy attempts by Sora to hit back the balls he'd been dodging before. "I think I know what your problem is here," he said with an appraising eye. "You're treating the sword as an object."
When he paused, Sora narrowed one eye, raising the opposite brow. His best disbelieving expression. "Umm…isn't it?" he asked, wondering if Riku was just trying to pull his leg now.
Riku just chuckled as he approached. "Of course it is. However, when you wield a sword, you have to think of it as an extension of your own arm, if you want to get the best range and movement out of it." He placed a hand under Sora's arm at the elbow, and the other at his wrist, and lifted until Sora's arm was completely straight. He laid his hand on the slightly bony shoulder again, resisting the urge to do anything more than just rest it there for a moment. As he spoke his next words, he brushed his hand down Sora's arm, across elbow and wrist, and finally down the sword, noticing a slight tremble as he did so. "To truly wield a sword," he said, slightly surprised at the throaty tone to his voice, "and not just hold and swing, you have to think of it as a part of yourself."
Sora watched Riku closely with narrowed eyes. He was beginning to wonder if Riku was doing this on purpose. All the touches, the close proximity…the question though, was he just messing with Sora? Or was there another reason? Because the only other reason he could think of seemed…well, kind of absurd. And if it was to mess with Sora's head, he was doing a damn good job. The boy in question ignored Sora's inner turmoil, of course, and continued with his instructions as if he wasn't causing his best friend to drown in tidal waves of emotional conflict. "Your wrist," and Riku wrapped his fingers around Sora's smaller wrist, "becomes just another connector, like your shoulder. If you think of the sword as another section of your arm – an extension of your hand – then the movements will flow better, because you begin to use the natural tendencies of your wrist to control it."
He slid his grip over to Sora's hand, and swung the sword languidly back and forth, up and down a few times, allowing Sora to feel his wrist roll with the movements. "You see? A smooth flow of movement can give you a fatal advantage over your opponent. Fighting is often a subtle art, so things like this really matter."
Sora swallowed nervously, and not just at the doubt he would ever be good enough at fighting. Riku's face was awfully close to his own as he leaned over his shoulder for the demonstration, and he could feel the warmth practically radiating from the taller teen. He pushed the feelings trying to cloud his thoughts away as best he could, and nodded at Riku's words. "So basically, you're just telling me to be natural," he commented, thinking he was starting to understand what Riku was getting at.
Riku smiled in return, stepping back next to Sora and finally letting him drop his arm. "Yeah, basically. Go with your instinct. Your gut. Your heart." He placed his hand briefly over Sora's heart, smiled gently at him, then walked over to resume his position on the other side of the wooden floor. "Okay, let's start again, and focus on what I've told you," he commanded, picking up another ball.
A little difficult when I'm distracted by what you're not saying, Sora grumbled in his head, trying to ignore the lingering tingles in his hand and arm from Riku's touch, and instead focus on the instructions he was given as he moved into position to defend himself.
It was nearly three hours later when Riku felt Sora had made significant enough improvement to call it for the day. Sora's slight exhaustion and Riku's complacent mood found them lying side-by-side on the hard floor, Riku's arms pillowing his head, and Sora flopped spread-eagle beside him, one arm carelessly thrown across Riku's chest.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, and once Sora's breathing had calmed to its normal pace, Riku said, "You really do learn quick. I'm impressed. You're a bit of a natural with the sword."
Sora blinked at the praise, turning his head toward Riku even as his cheeks warmed from the compliment. Well, until Riku continued speaking, that is.
"You're pretty much the last person I would've expected that from! Well…except for Kairi, maybe." The small smirk on his face gave him away, but Sora lifted his hand to smack his friend on the chest anyway for good measure. Riku laughed and caught his hand before it could make contact, causing Sora to pout at him. Riku looked at him then, and there was a sparkle in his eyes that Sora hadn't quite realized was missing until this moment. He forgot whatever comeback had half-formed in his brain, and his hand went slack in Riku's. For a moment they just lay there, hand in hand and staring, with a gentle smile on Riku's face, and something between awed and content settling on Sora's. His mind went back to his earlier musings. What was this feeling?
As the affection in Riku's eyes only seemed to intensify, Sora awkwardly cleared his throat and withdrew his hand, twiddling his thumbs over his stomach. Seriously, what the hell was going on here?
Grasping at the first normal thing he could think of, Sora asked what time it was.
Riku took a couple moments to blink at him before his brow furrowed and he lifted his hand to look at his watch. "Um…it's 7:20. Why?"
Sora shot up into a sitting position, surprising Riku into doing the same. "Crap! My appointment is at 7:30! Mom's gonna kill me!"
"Appointment?" Riku echoed, watching as Sora scrambled to his feet.
"Yeah, with the stupid therapist guy," said the brunet in a rush, and then he was disappearing through the doorway, leaving Riku staring rather dumbly after him.
"Okay…bye?" he called, trying not to be irritated at the abrupt departure. He'd been enjoying that moment, thank you very much.
And then Sora was dashing back into the room, tackling Riku back to the floor when he didn't bother actually slowing down before giving Riku a special Sora-hug goodbye. "Sorry!" the younger boy cried into Riku's shoulder. "But I've gotta go, thanks for the lesson, I'll see you tomorrow okay, bye!" And without really thinking – he might just blame it on the emotional ringer he'd been through today – he gave Riku a quick peck on the cheek before backing away and disappearing once more.
This time Riku heard the front door slam closed, and he would've winced at the force of it if he wasn't too busy touching his fingers to his cheek where Sora had kissed him. …where Sora had kissed him. Hm, nope, adding an emphasis didn't make it any less surreal. Sure it had been a rather weird day of touches and affection and even a little teasing, but Riku wasn't expecting anything to come of that…not really. His plan was to play anything weird off as just teasing, as best friends do. He could claim he missed him, or was worried about him. But now he was starting to think that just maybe, he wouldn't have to hide his feelings after all. He finally brought his hand back down to join the other in supporting his weight, and he sat there for a while after Sora left, weighing possibilities and potential complications and outcomes. But most of all he sat there on the floor of his dad's training room and daydreamed with a small smile tugging at his lips.
Sora slammed the front door to Riku's house with a mad blush spreading across his face. He took a few seconds to just lean against the door, replaying the last ten minutes in his mind several times. A thousand images of Riku from the past couple of days flew through his thoughts, all spiraling into one portrait of sparkling aquamarine eyes and that stupid smirk. Sora had been on the receiving end of flirtation once or twice. He'd seen it among his peers. He was pretty sure he knew what it looked like. And it looked like Riku was flirting with him. And Sora had just kissed him goodbye. He swore his heart skipped a beat at the thought. One solid year of distance and unease and a stuttering friendship, and this is what comes of that friendship being mended? Was this real life right now?
Brown spikes ruffled like a lion's mane as he shook his head harshly, remembering why he'd rushed out like he did. With another huffed breath, he shoved all thoughts of his best friend aside, and started running, reaching his house in record time. He practically threw the door open when he reached it, and dropped his backpack to the side while he put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
"Sora, honey, is that you? You're going to be late! I- are you okay?" His mother turned the corner into the living room and her voice immediately turned concerned as she took in her son's ruffled appearance, still red in the face and breathing heavily.
Sora waved off her concern before taking one big gulp of air and standing up straight. He smiled crookedly, trying to capture the expression he used to always wear before his world went crazy. "Fine, mom. Lost track of time at Riku's and ran back here when I realized how late it was." He'd told her over the weekend that he would be going to Riku's every day after school for a while, citing a school project that was going to require a lot of time and work. He didn't really want to tell her that he was over there to learn how to fight. It would only worry her more, and he didn't want to do that…for her sake and for his.
"Well you'd better learn to keep track of the time!" she said only half teasingly. "Now hurry up so we can still make the fashionably late window!" He gave her an odd, mildly amused look before she started shoving him back out the doorway.
He nearly tripped over his own feet before turning around and making his own way to the faded silver SUV. All the amusement faded from his countenance as he buckled his seatbelt, and he practically sank into the leather seat. He didn't want to go to the psycho (no he wasn't getting his terms confused) again. Especially not with his mind so vulnerable in its endless hurricane of thoughts about Riku. Sora was convinced, though, that these doctor visits were the only things keeping him from the juvenile ward at the local mental hospital (yes, they had one…he'd looked it up). Given a choice between the two…he'd take the annoying and prying doctor.
After the completely silent car ride, and silent exit, and silent entry to the building, and silent walk to the door with the gold plate reading Dr. Ansem, Sora's mom opened the door as Sora stubbornly refused to do so. He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest and everything. His mother sighed and led the way in, and Sora all but trudged after her. Actually, he may have trudged. The occasion called for it, really.
"Sora, how nice to see you again."
Sora threw a glaring frown at the man. The man smiled back. His mother half smiled, patted Sora's head, and took her seat in an unobtrusive chair in the corner. Sora sighed and flumped down onto the couch. Yeah, this room was where he got to do all the fun verbs.
"You seem troubled, Sora. Do you wish to talk about it?"
Sora would've rolled his eyes, except he'd done that a bunch already in these sessions, and he didn't like to be too predictable. Sounded like a good reason to not react, anyway. Instead he just gave him a bland "No."
A short pause as Ansem leaned back in his chair and crossed ankle over knee. "I see. Do you remember the point of these sessions?" he asked kindly.
"Guess I forgot," Sora mumbled, not sounding regretful. Or sincere. He flicked his gaze towards his mother, who looked like she was biting her lip against an interjection. He tried to tell her telepathically to please, by all means, interrupt them.
Ansem sighed, and Sora was pleased to see the small flash of annoyance in his golden eyes. Who the hell has gold eyes anyway? This man was just unnatural! He was a demon sent to haunt Sora, surely. Did demons haunt? Or was that just ghosts? Maybe he was a demon ghost?
Ansem started speaking again and Sora's attention snapped back to the room. "I do believe it was because you allowed your imagination to overtake your reality. We are here to stop this fantasy life and bring your normal one back."
"Not a fantasy," Sora mumbled in a low growl.
"Which brings us back to the problem at hand." The small, self-contented smirk on Ansem's face made Sora want to punch it right off. "So why don't we revisit what prompted this behavior?"
"Nothing prompted it. It was a dream I had, I've told you that."
"Dreams merely reflect your subconscious back at you when you are in a state of mind to best interpret it." Sora raised an eyebrow at him, but the man went on. "Perhaps you were having problems with someone in your life? Family, or a good friend?"
Oh, so that's where he was going with it. "It's got nothing to do with any of them. Or anyone at all."
Ansem must have picked up on the defensiveness of his tone, and Sora cursed his own voice for betraying him.
"My apologies; your loved ones are a sensitive topic. I would expect nothing else from a boy with a heart as big as your own."
Surrender your heart…
Sora swallowed as a shudder shook him from head to toe. It passed in under a second, but left him breathless. That slithering voice from his dream…now was not the time to be thinking about that. "Is there something wrong with that?" he snapped, shaken and a little confused by that sudden moment of intensity in an otherwise harmless environment.
Ansem chuckled. "Of course not. It's just that sometimes, the ones we love most can do us the most harm."
Sora's hand clenched into a fist at his side. He was really getting irritated. "They really give you a doctorate to recycle this tired basic psychology shit?"
"Sora!" His mother finally cried from the corner, but Sora didn't look over. No longer lounging on the couch, he narrowed his eyes sharply at his doctor. "Tch. Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you and trusting them not to use it, right? Heard that one, try a new one." Mind games. It was always mind games. This man, the shadows…everything. He just had to figure out where he was trying to take them, and veer off somewhere else. He'd managed once or twice, but it was tough. He'd just started high school; this man had been through college a time or two. Didn't mean he wasn't going to try. Sora was nothing if not determined.
Ansem smiled benignly at him, but there was an edge to it that hadn't been there a moment ago. "Of course I would expect you to have heard such platitudes. No, no, I am simply trying to ascertain the catalyst for your current state. What happened a year ago? Was it a betrayal of trust from a friend?"
Kairi.
"Did your mother do something you perceived as offensive?"
She wouldn't believe me. She sent me here.
"Did Riku decide he was better off without you?"
"Riku would never-!" Sora cut himself off, wide-eyed and horrified. At himself, at his thoughts, at the situation. How had Ansem gotten to him so quickly? How did he know exactly what buttons to push? "H-how do you know about Riku?" he asked, voice wavering ever so slightly. "I never told you my friends' names." And why did he feel like he'd just been attacked?
"You must have forgotten you mentioned them. We've been talking for nearly a year, after all." Sora didn't believe him. He never would, that much was certain. He glanced over at his mother again, pleading this time. Take me home. I don't want to be here. "Riku is very important to you, then?"
"That's none of your business." Sora growled, eyes focusing back on the man with golden eyes and silver hair. Not pretty silver hair like Riku's though. Ugh, stop that.
"On the contrary, I think this is something that needs to be explored. From your reaction, this boy could be at the root of your problems."
On the contrary, he could be the only one trying to actually help, Sora mocked in his head.
"What is your relationship? I assume you are close. Did you fight?"
Sora pursed his lips, cursing his own expressive nature to the farthest reaches of space.
"Or was it a fight between other friends?"
The scene of Riku and Kairi in the courtyard flashed through his mind. "No."
"Did Riku do something to anger you?"
"It wasn't Riku! It was a dream! A very real dream that's only gotten more real but you obviously don't care about that!" He was nearly shouting. Anger and irritation were coiling in his gut and it almost felt like his heart was being strangled in his chest. He shouldn't be getting so aggravated by this! But Ansem's presence…it's like it made everything he'd been struggling with over the past year three times worse. He stood from the couch and paced a few steps before stopping, turning, and going back. He didn't know what to do with himself.
"Of course I care—"
"Stop lying to me!" This time it was a shout, accompanied by his fist slamming down on the man's desk. It felt good, even as the outside of his hand and wrist stung from the impact.
"Sora!" his mother cried again, standing this time and moving towards the suddenly violent boy.
"No. Stop. Just- just don't." Sora was struggling. Not just to form words, but to gather even the slightest thought. One hand was held out halfway towards his mother in a 'halt' gesture, and he brought the other to his head, tangling his fingers in his bangs. What the hell was going on? Why did it feel like the room was spinning, even when he could clearly see it was not? He shut his eyes tightly, but snapped them open again when it only brought darkness. He didn't want more darkness. "No more…please just—" He huffed, and slid his gaze towards Ansem, almost expecting the man to be casting some sort of demonic spell on him. Instead he just saw those golden eyes watching him intently, and a tiny, pleased smirk pulling at his mouth.
The world snapped back into focus with horrific clarity. Sora opened his mouth several times in an attempt to speak, but he couldn't. Why now? Why was he suddenly slipping on the benevolent doctor act? Why did he look so satisfied as Sora felt like the entire world was being pulled from under his feet?
He was being crushed from the inside. He had to get out of here. Something was horribly wrong, and it felt so loud and violent even though the room itself was quiet, only the clock ticking the seconds away on the far wall. He took a step back. And another.
"Sora?"
He glanced at his mom, and took another step back. She looked so concerned. He felt like he might throw up. Swallowing hard against the unpleasant sensation, Sora turned and bolted out the door, slamming it hard enough behind him to rattle the glass window centered in the solid oak.
I don't know sword techniques or proper handling. I pulled that out of my ass. Hope it's plausible lol. I'm just glad to have rewritten the Ansem scene. It was probably one of the worst, originally, in my opinion. Hope you enjoyed!