Author's Notes: Hello guys and girls! I must be shocking you with how offer this story is being updated given that I initially said it would be the one that would be the slowest to be updated. Well, as I've basically said before, I'm just as shocked as you. For some reason, maybe the short lengths of each chapter or the shocking ease of writing in POV style at these early parts, these chapters have been popping out despite this being the story that is the least thought out of the stories I'm writing.

Before the gist of this author's note, let me just make a quick side note. Even thought its established very early in this chapter, this chapter takes place very early the morning after Cody and Bridgette had there heart-to-heart in the last chapter.

Anyway, this chapter is unique for a few reasons. Firstly, it's the first chapter whose gist is not given away in the summary of the story. Given what this story is advertised as, it likely didn't take much effort to realize how they would play out. However, starting with this one, hopefully there will be a few more surprises. Secondly, this chapter is meant to be more methodical and not as emotional. There's a part of me that feels like it's lacking because of this but its what is called for here.

Let's have you decide which this chapter is by starting for you the fourth chapter of "A TDA Love Triangle with Betty, Cody, and Gwenny": A Sun Setting or Rising?

(GWEN'S POV)

Ugh…I hate mornings, especially early mornings! After actually get a break from the madness that is the world, you have to jump right back into it to endure new torments.

But unlike on the show, I can't blame Chris from me being up right before the sun, though a part of me wishes I could and kind of does so anyway. Nope, instead, I get to blame myself for that. Like I haven't been doing another of that lately, right? Right?

Or more accurately, I get to blame my sense of guilt for preventing me from sleeping well. As I've said before, isn't just so wonderful to be right? Regardless, I sit up in bed.

I felt myself bathed in black, its familiar and comforting…not to mention very fitting too. Looking at my clock, I realize the sun won't start rising for at least an hour or two.

I lick some of my fingers and use them to straiten out any wayward strains of hair. If you think that's gross, then I'm sorry but I'm not changing my ways. Actually, I'm not sorry!

Why should I have to change my habits in private for you people I don't even know!?

Forgive me if I seem especially crabby but I'm a truly terrible morning person. But then again, why should I not be? Aside from my mother, younger brother, and a few other people not related to me who I found to be either sane human beings or tolerable company, for the longest time there was never a truly good reason to get out of bed. With those few notable exceptions, all that normally awaits me out of bed is bitter judgment. Outside of that small click I just mentioned, I was nothing but the nasty, embittered goth. And many won't let me forget, either with word and action or implied, subtle critiques.

Just in case all of this depression fuel is becoming too much for you, here is a bright spot.

I notice that I feel something aside from the normal sense of dread I feel in the morning.

I feel relief…however small.

And what exactly could make me, Miss Doom and Gloom, feel some relief, you ask?

Well…Courtney, despite all of my predictions, actually won her lawsuit against the show. This meant that she was going to be entering TDA to compete half way through.

I was actually a little peeved at first. Could you believe that, I thought about how this would only entitle the spoiled little C.I.T. wannabe. But that didn't last long because of another thought…if she was at that film lot…she couldn't be here making me miserable!

During a time when I felt more and more like karma's favorite punching bag, this was a refreshing change of pace for me. My by far most vocal detractor was nowhere near me. Barely more than a few days after being voted off, I got a massive freebie for once.

Thanks Karma, and for once this season I'm not being sarcastic. As shocking as that is.

Aside from that one thing that happened yesterday, this was the only time that I felt anywhere near good ever since Duncan brought up that explanation for Trent's behavior.

Oh, Duncan…he has no idea what vengeful wrath was waiting for him with mocha skin. While very pleased with her not being here, I am guilt about what she'll likely do to him. Despite my guilt, I can't help but chuckle. Maybe it was payback for that explanation?

No, no…you know that isn't true. Duncan's explanation was idiotic but you believed it. Who's the bigger fool, the one who says something stupid or the one who believes it?

I've save you the trouble of that little brainteaser and just tell you, the answer is me…the fool who believed the one who said something stupid.

Acknowledging that oh so boosting revelation, I got up out of bed and took a shower. And no, I'm not going to detail my shower for you…perverts!

After getting dressed, I realized that I was in a rather awkward position. You see, I was awake and showered…but no body else likely was. Not that that made much difference, most of the people either wanted nothing to do with me or I wanted to avoid anyway. But of greater importance, it would still be at least an hour before they would start serving anything to eat. So, what was I suppose to do for an hour? What would I do after that?

Sighing at realizing this, I did what I normally do when there's nothing else to do. I opened up a drawer, and after staring at an object for a second; I pull out my sketchbook. For at least the next hour, and likely most of today, I would do what I always do.

I'd draw; find freedom from the constraints of my existence through artistic endeavor. Before, whenever I'd find the need to escape from my troubles, I'd enter my place of peace…meaning my sketchbook, of course. As always, once inspiration hit, there would be little that would stop me from leaving my troubles.

I wait for a minute for inspiration to come…then two…then three…then four…then…

You know what, I'm not going to bore you (and me) by saying every minute that I found inspiration lacking. I might be bored but I hope to God that I never become that bored. I'll give you the short version…for almost the entire hour my mind drew only blanks. Even in my worst artistic dry spells, it was never close to this barren before. I found myself staring at the blank page, hoping for some shape to appear which I could draw. Nothing came; no shapes materialized in my mind or on the page, leaving both blank.

Being the stubborn girl that I sadly knew I was, I tried for so long to make something appear. But nothing came. My frustration grew and grew, as my efforts bore no fruit.

Sighing, I closed my sketchbook, admitting defeat without any words being spoken. My last place for peace, my last refuge from the complex emotions gripping me, was gone. They were so much so that even my beloved artistic pursuits seemed to wither up and die.

They say that emotion distress is good for the creative process, offering rich earth to till. Well, that might be the case for some but for me, at least right now, it doesn't seem to be.

Then again, given what was buzzing around in my head, I could say I was truly shocked. As you might have guessed, most of what that were involved Trent and our bad breakup.

I know, the biggest unseen twist of the year, right? Truly worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. And sadly, given some of his more recent movie's "twists", it could actually be one. But enough beating that dead horse. The last thing M. Night Shyamalamadingdong (my brother's name for him after being forced to watch a few of his recent films) needs is one more person badmouthing him…especially a moody teenage girl with relationship issues.

Enough of my digressing, back to the heartache and angst you all like for some reason.

So, yeah, I'm still unsure if I made the right call breaking up with Trent or not. I go through everything I can think of seen this season started, looking for new evidence, for something that will definitely prove either I was justified in my decision or not.

While its not shocking that I can't find anything, it is disappointing…and saddening.

I know what you're thinking…'oh, here she goes again, here comes the I'm-still-conflicted-about-Trent-and-my decisions-crap that I already know'.

Well, despite the unoriginality in that, that was what mainly gripped me right now.

When you're done judging me, like everyone else already is, I'll say that I won't bore with that. Please, keep your cheers and applause, which I'm sure you don't actually have, down. That's because while that's mostly what I'm thinking of, it's not the only thing.

You likely can already guess what that other thing is but I'll say what I did next just in case you weren't paying attention. I reached into the same drawer as before and pulled out something, something other than my sketchbook. I pull out my bra that he returned.

With the pure black of the fabric contrasting my white skin, I started to examine it carefully. Partially out of having nothing better to do, I was inspecting it for stains. To my shock, I found none. If anything, it was cleaner now than when I gave it to him. But the cleanliness of the bra in question wasn't the most shocking part of this thing to me.

I honestly still couldn't believe that Cody actually gave this back to me. It flew in the face of almost everything that I ever thought I knew about him. Don't get me wrong; him setting me up with Trent (even with me having to give him this bra as payment) proved that he was not a bad person. Heck, before the finale of Total Drama Island I considered him one of the five only sane people from the show when I didn't do so for Trent. The irony of that, of me later questioning Trent's sanity, is not lost on me either, by the way.

But even so, I've always felt like I would have to keep Cody at arm's length. As he himself said yesterday, he is a horn dog. But I would say much more of one than he was willing to admit. Even with his kindness being apparent, a part of me always thought that it was subservient to his lustful teenage hormones. And to be honest, I still kinda do.

I don't mean to be mean but I've seen guys like that before. They aren't muscular, confident, or extraordinary in any activities that tend to attract girls. So, to make up for that, they draw on the only way they know has even a shot of working…they act nice. They become the pillar of support; the shoulder to cry on…while what they honestly want is the same as all the others. Despite the façade, they are just the same as the rest. Them being nice is just an act. But once something would get in the way of their lustful gratifications, suddenly that pillar crumbles and that shoulder is moved just out of reach.

I guess that's what I thought Cody was…or at least, its what I liked to think he was.

I hope he never finds out but from the moment he set me up with Trent Cody has been this terrible enigma to me. In fact, before Trent's recent behavior, nothing that I've encountered on this show puzzled me more than Cody and his behavior. Not even Izzy!

Shocking, I know, but hear me out. I blow him off; he still smiles at me. I reject him; he helps me hook up with Trent. I accuse him of hounding me; he insists he's happy for me. Even among the standards of guys like him, his behavior is quite above and beyond them.

And that troubled me. I can't fully explain why but him not fitting this model makes me uneasy. I guess it's how people always feel when a stubborn, old belief is disproven.

But disproven it was. I could tell how difficult it was for Cody to return my bra. And yet he did it anyway. True, it might be part of some poly to fall in my good graces but I'm doubtful of that. I surprise even myself by admitting that but that is the case regardless.

After all, if Cody solely did what he did to get in my good graces, I doubt he'd have said that I did have some onus on me for there being ways I could have handled things better. I hope you already know this but in most situations saying that a girl is wrong, even if only partially, will not get you a date with them. Oh, honest, such a fickle virtue is you.

Even so, I actually do think Cody was being honest when he told his views of the breakup. After his (sadly justified) criticisms of my handling of it, what he said…look, I don't want to sound contradictory but it was so nice to hear someone not badmouth me. The reasons Cody listed off for doing what I did were pretty the same I had doing it. But ever since the breakup happened, the endless bombardment of hostility made me question that. Not question it greatly mind you, but just enough to make me start to doubt myself. To actually hear another person say them made them more valid, not just what I hoped was the case for my actions. Even a loner like me needs support every now and then.

And shockingly enough, it was Cody, someone who all of my preconceptions would have renounced, who offered that little bit of needed support at this most trying time for me.

As I look back on my little chat with Cody, the more realize that I needed that.

It will likely take me some time to fully adjust my opinion of Cody but it could happen.

While telling you all of this, I remembered something: Cody's offer to talk if I wanted. My original plan was to find DJ and hang out with him but then I remembered that he had already planned out a day today with his Mama. And I didn't want to be a third wheel.

So, with that option gone, should I actually try to hang out with Cody as a friend?

Truth be told, when I said I might take him up on his offer, I wasn't sure if I really would. Part of me still fights the idea strongly, old habits and all that. Some corner of my being just can't move beyond the idea of Cody being anything more than a baneful horn dog. At the same time, another corner points out what he did yesterday and that we have literally nothing else to do today. Its either hang out with Cody or watch my walls all day.

Instead of watching the walls, my eyes are drawn to something else instead.

I stare at the chair in my room, the same chair that he sat on yesterday. I hadn't noticed before but someone had carved something into the back of it. There was a half-sun on it. For some reason that I can't explain, lest I start to sound like Izzy, I stared and wondered.

Is it a rising sun or a setting sun?

Such a wonderful example of how desperate I am for meaning…looking for it in a random carving on a wooden chair done by a guy with a knife and nothing better to do.

Just like me…and I don't even have a knife.

Of course, it doesn't take long for my mind to return to what has dominated it lately: Trent, the break up…the doubts, the guilt…

But then, I start to remember some other things, some new things…someone new.

I remained as I was, still and silent surrounded in shadow. But then, I felt something new. A patch of the morning sunlight was tickling the edges of my room's window and as it did so it began to lightly beam upon my ghostly face. It started to warm me up, bit by bit.

Despite me never being a morning person, even I can admit that few things can rival the otherworldly beauty of the sun as it brushes against the darkened sky of early morning.

I look out my room's window to see this natural transition as basic as they come. I marvel at it.

From a circular center two bright beams of orange sprout out from either side of it. Above and below them are seemingly total patches of dark blue…maybe midnight blue? While very difficult to notice, I do detect the growing of the orange beams as they and their equally auburn center start to take more and more of the tranquil dark blue sky under their influence. Despite the beauty of this, a part of me mourns for the midnight blue. It is my favorite color after all and I kind of cringed at it being defeated at all. But then I notice that the midnight blue is not destroyed by the red-yellow of the rising sun. Instead, the midnight blue becomes a much lighter sky blue, as if the sun's rays relieved some heavy burden being carried by the midnight blue? It is not defeated, but relieved.

For some reason I can't exactly explain, that idea was very appealing to me today.

Maybe the beauty behind the rising sun isn't just in its aesthetic appearance? I've never thought of it much before but maybe the real beauty comes from the promise, however unlikely, that today can be different from yesterday? That whatever foulness existed then might be trapped in then and not seep into the day whose course as yet to be determined? Maybe the fact that the midnight blue becomes sky blue doesn't make it any less blue?

I remembered back to a passage I read once in Hope Mirrlees' Lud-in-the-Mist: "It was not so much a modification of the darkness, as a sigh of relief, a slight relaxing of tension, so that one felt, rather than saw, that the night had suddenly lost a shade of its density..."

Yeah, that actually sums it up pretty well. Thank you Miss Mirrlees.

Even in the darkness and doubts that dominate me, light and new warmth were felt. For the first time since this season started, the darkness and doubts seemed to be weakened.

As those same rays begin to throw themselves upon the back of the chair, I lightly sigh.

Maybe today will be a better day?

Maybe the sun on the chair's back is rising after all?

Maybe I'll try hanging out with someone new?

Maybe I'll take Cody up on his offer of friendship after all?

And there you have it. I must confess, of the chapters I've so far written for this story, this is the one I'm the least pleased with. A key reason is the debate about either the more methodical approach is justified. It's my hope that it fits the central action of this chapter, that Gwen is debating whether Cody can honestly be a friend and her feeling some relief for the first time since breaking up with Trent. Also, as an amusing and peculiar side note, the parts at the end with the carving of the half sun on the chair and Gwen reflecting on the rising sun are my favorite parts and they were the first and last parts written for this chapter, respectively.

Also, it's worth noting that some of my questioning of this chapter comes from not the chapter itself. Mainly in that so far the two Gwen chapters have both been the shortest and are largely just Gwen being by herself while reflecting on things. Both times I feel like its warranted but I'm going to make a conscious effort to have the next Gwen chapter being her actually interaction with someone or doing something.

Anyway, as you can likely guess, I'd be very grateful for some feedback about these questions and concerns. They would be a boon for my questions about this story.

I'm currently unsure if the next chapter will focus on Bridgette or Cody. At the moment my gut feeling is leaning more towards Cody. And before anyone asks, no, I'm hoping the entire story will not be the pattern of Gwen, Cody, and Bridgette. As this story moves along, I hope to mix up the ordering of the POVs presented.

But no matter who's mind we dive into next time, please: read, review, alert, favor, and spread the word!